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i dont understand?
so basically a friend told me that there were people that talks behind my back and those people who said mean stuff about me, 1) i dont even know them, 2) we barely talk so they dont know who am i!!!!
what did i do wrong? what am i suppose to do now?
i was going to just ignore them but i feel sad because i didnt even do anything wrong and get hated on? thats just unreasonable man.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You will soon learn that you could literally sit in your house all day minding your business and people will still have something negative to say about you. Which is why you should make an effort to not care about people's opinions. I promise you it will make all the difference in the world for you when you stop caring about EVERYONE'S opinion. It is literally impossible to please everyone. Your priority should be to please yourself, and make sure that you're happy with yourself. I know it's upsetting or makes you sad when people gossip about you but those people are beneath you and shouldn't consume your time and thoughts. And hey! Really it's none of our business what other people say about us anyways! Hope that I could help!
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I had the same thing happen. I was a senior. Had a sis with a friend Terry who was a Soph. Terry had a sister who was a junior and I and her had never talked, ever been near each other. Only saw her on stage during a talent show. The little sister told my sister that her older sis hates me. I laughed. Hate is a strong word. But even if she simply disliked me, she'd had to have met me to learn she dislikes me.
What I did, is something you need to do, "not take personally anything a person says bad of you.
That saying about how words can never hurt you, well they can if you take in whats said, believe it and allow all your thoughts to dwell on it. Your mind does the rest and comes up with all sorts of scenerios and imaginings of the horrible things that must be told to each other and snickered about behind your back. Actually doesnt matter if it behind the back or to your face, cruel words can hurt if you dont in the first minute do something internally about it. you need to tell yourself that what they said is not true. No you can't or shouldn't try to convince their puny immature childish minds, Waste of time. But reminding yourself that they are the ones with an issue, not you is important.
Most likely, you never went wrong anywhere. In most cases, when I don't like a person's personality, I just choose to not be a friend or close to them. In life, even in relationships, you will find that people are attracted to different types of personalities and characters. It doesnt mean there is anything lacking in you or wrong or that you do wrong. It is most evident in couple relationships where the two are perfect for someone else, just not each other yet they force themselves to stay in the relationship and are miserable and fight and begin to resent, even hate their partner.
With kids, they don't often see that this is more about personal taste in a person for a friend than a person having wronged them in some way.
Another thing kids do is to talk about people they find to be odd in some way. I was extremely shy until last year of HS. In middle school I still wore glasses. They made variations of my last name, teased about my glasses or in general would to that stop chatter and stare at me as a group as I walked by resuming unhearable comments with snickers, giggles and comments. It bothered me when I was younger as I wasn't self confident yet, I worried too much about what others thought of me. If you work on yourself in those areas and choose to not dwell on negative comments and negate them in your mind, you will find it no longer bothers you.
Some kids talk behind the back of those they are jealous of. I remember a guy who was a great student, straight A's and that bothered them so they were cruel to him just because of that. He never did anything to hurt anyone.
Some cases can be ignored. Others, something needs to be said is its some teasing or derogatory thing said to your face. If they see they can hurt you, thats theire payback. If they see that it has no effect on you, then its no fun anymore and most likely they will stop. Its probably not a one time thing and may happen again. Don't respond to it if its passed on to you by a friend or someone else. It needs to be something you hear or witness them doing. If you aren't brave enough to say something and joke back making light of what they say, then you'll need to work on self confidence first. Let me know if you suffer from social anxiety to any extent. I did on some points, not all but it still crippled my ability to respond and stop such behavior. I have the recipe of what to do to get over shyness, and a little bit too on self confidence. Lastly I will give you one example of such a confrontation...one I'd heard towards me. I was teased for how I dressed different than the other kids. Sure we budget shopped sometimes, but I never wore any styles I did not like. If a popular style at the time was something everyone wore, and I didn't like it, I didn't wear it. For example, in the 70s, the extreme bell bottoms were in and I rode my bike alot. They always got caught in my chain and ruined anyway, or i hated having to rubberband them against my leg. I wanted no fuss pants. SO I wore flared or whats called stove pipe pants, kinda the forerunner of those legging type pants. I got teased about my pants. I smiled back and told them, I wore them cus I liked them. And at least I had my own sense of style and wore what expressed me best, rather than follow the crowd and all look the same because the rest all have such low self confidence they are afraid to stand out in the crowd. That shut them up. They couldn't make me sorry I was wearing what I had on, and I threw the situation back at them to think about. Those who aren't chicken to do something different, end up being the leaders of tomorrow that others try to model themselves after or go to for advice.
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This same thing happened to me. I had to end up telling the principal of the school that I was told I was spreading rumors but the person didn't know me and I didn't know who they were. People hate on people. That's just human nature. The responsible thing would be to just ignore them and if that doesn't work, tell someone. It is better to tell someone and have it be nothing than have it come back to haunt you later.
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