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Should I give my mom a replica gold Pandora bracelet?
So long story short a while ago I bought a replica gold Pandora bracelet from somebody online after my real one was stolen, to replace the feeling of having one without spending another $1200. It's high quality and looks almost the same as the real one. It even says Pandora on it.
So basically I have a replica gold Pandora bracelet and I also have an authentic silver Pandora bracelet that I was gifted by my fiance.
She's wanting to give me ANOTHER gold (replica) Pandora bracelet in trade for my Fendi wallet.
In the past I worked for Pandora and I got a discount to buy my fiance's mother a silver Pandora bracelet (and also my old real gold Pandora bracelet that was stolen) but my mother doesn't have one. I've asked my mom before if she wanted one and she said no but I felt like she was just saying that because they're expensive and she didn't want to seem jealous or petty.
The silver authentic Pandora bracelet is $65 which isn't too bad if you have extra money and why I could afford the one for my fiance's mother. The gold authentic Pandora bracelets start at $1200 so you can see the obvious price difference.
The fake one is $50 and like I said it looks almost exactly the same as the real one except for one minor difference that I only notice because I worked for Pandora.
I really want her to have one because I want her to feel like she has something nice and glamorous and I want to be able to buy her charms in the future for it. What I don't want to happen is for her to bring it to a store and have somebody with a very good eye notice that it looks a tiny bit different on the inside of the clasp and ask her if it's fake but I really don't think anybody will because it's VERY SMALL difference.
I also don't want her to look online for charms though and wind up finding out the real ones are $1200 and heckle me about where I got the money to buy her one...though I figure I could just tell her I got a really good deal at a estate sale or something.
Should I give it to her or should I just keep it for myself?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Gift Giving?
I don't know how long you've had the replica for, but if it isn't real gold or isn't at least gold plated, it most likely will tarnish after some time - unlike the genuine Pandora bracelet. Just a little warning, in case you do decide to give her the replica.
Giving her the replica is a risk. She may never notice that it isn't the real thing, and if this is the case, she will be extremely happy. If she does eventually find out (either through tarnishing, or if she takes it in to get cleaned at a Pandora retailer, or if someone notices, etc) she will likely feel very hurt that you bought her a replica. If you're upfront about it - you tell her you cannot afford a real gold one, but that the replicas are identical, and ask her if she would like one - she will probably still be very happy and you do not run the risk of hurting her feelings.
However, my suggestion is to just get her a genuine silver one.
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While you worked at Pandora, did the mother in law ask you to get her the bracelet there with your discount or was it just a gift. And if a gift, was it for no special reason at all or for her birthday or Mothers day or some such event? It's true that most parents will see any gift from a child as a special thing given from their heart in love and treasure even the sloppily home made art and craft thing. You know your Mom better than we could ever guess. She is the type of person who prides herself in owning name brand things? Does she seem at times to have issues with her self esteem? Does she get jealous easily? Does she have a typically suspicious nature and will dog it til she discovers all she can about a gift of a bracelet to her now. Considering you have a wedding coming up and probably are saving every penny to go into paying for some of the things, even if the parents are pitching in, it will seem instantly out of place for you to spend such an amount on a bracelet that is even more needed time wise right now for a wedding. Making up a story because you think she'll require it when she doesn't will cause more problems if it was no big deal to mom that she has a replica. Then Mom will be disappointed that you didn't trust her enough to tell the truth and level with her.
If you were asked to get the bracelet while working there at your discount for mom in law, thats one thing and the fact you no longer work there, no mom in her right mind would expect her daughter to gift her also with an authentic same thing with out the discount now. She may be sad she missed out on the opportunity but realistically, it's not going to happen and she knows it. What you are struggling with could be more in your mind than a reality. Your worry is that Mom is going to react like a child and make comparisons and want to be your only favorite parent and get jealous if any other adult gets that kind of attention from you and throw a tantrum of anger at you for not getting her the same exact thing. That sounds like grade school kids and thankfully most adults no longer have that sort of issue. If you are saying your mom acts like a 3rd grader all the time, then its your Mom who had a problem and no matter what the situation, will always be comparing any of your actions towards her with those towards his mom. It could get as petty as, how come you call her more often than me. How come you talk to her for an hour but me only 15 minutes?
In all situations, I prefer telling the truth to making up stories cus stories are hard to keep straight as time goes on.
You may have come up with this bracelet idea for mom out of the only frame of reference you personally have, one of struggling with your own self esteem so you automatically think Mom will have the same issue as you, when that may not be so. You could be worrying over nothing. As has been said already, what if she doesn't like wearing bracelets? I certainly don't as I have bony wrists and it's uncomfortable. I prefer wearing rings and necklaces for jewelry. So if I got a ring and mom in law got a bracelet, something totally different, I wouldn't be getting upset that I didn't get the same thing as the other did...do you see where I am going with this? I truly would appreciate the gesture of the gift but would stick it in a jewelry box and never wear it. What good is a gift like that. Surely you know what your own Mothers tastes are and what her favorite things are, favorite color, etc.... and it should only be a very odd coincidence that she and mom in law have the very exact same tastes in things. You're a female, how many girls your age including yourself like it when you happen to be wearing the exact same thing? Women generally don't even like that. We take pride in being the only one to own a...... whatever the item is, a particular dress, pair of shoes or handbag and would be truly upset if even two of your friends bought the same dress and purse to match yours. It wouldn't matter if one was name brand and the other a replica, just the fact that others have copied to look just the same as you would bug most women.
The real issue here is non communication with your mom. If she has come to you with the proposition of you giving her your name brand wallet in exchange for, her replacing the bracelet you had stolen with a replica of it, then it would seem she has the money for a buying a bracelet herself but is not interested in one, she seems to have a greater interest in the wallet. I would just tell mom I already bought a replacement for myself with a replica as I CANt afford the real one now with not working there. Then ask her about her interest in the wallet. Would she like one of her own, the real thing or is a replica okay? As your money is tight with the wedding coming up. Your time might be better spent searching for a replica of the wallet or a steal on the real thing and giving it to her as a gift. So have a talk with Mom and if she cares not about bracelets but really wants the wallet, offer to give her yours, even used, or search for and get her a replica as a gift.
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This is something you have to decide yourself. I will say this; If you do decide to go with the imitation and make up some story to tell her you had better write it down for some time in the future she is going to ask you again. When this happens she will remember what you said but you will have forgotten the mistruth you told her and be caught in your deception.
I did go on line to the Pandora WEB side and the Gold bracelet now starts just over $1,400. I also saw the $65 bracelet as well as 2 $300 bracelets. My question to you is does she have to have an exact match for yours or can you afford one of the $300 bracelets?
Being a guy I could be totally of base her but I would think the fun would be in the two of you having different bracelets to get different charms for and $300 is far less the $1,400 something you and your fiancé can save for and make a present to her at your wedding.
Be it the $65 or $300 bracelet I think your mother will understand that you bought what you could afford each time. Knowing you worked for Pandora when you bought your future mother in-laws does make a difference, she will still treasure your gift. I do not have to be a mom to know that. I treasure any gift my children get me because they are given with love. Key words her are; "Given With Love."
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If you're going to give your mom a replica, I think you should just tell her upfront that it's not the real thing. Definitely don't make up stories about getting a really good deal.
There's no shame in giving a cheap present if that's all you can afford, but presents are about the relationship between you and the recipient, and a genuine relationship shouldn't be about deceiving each other.
Another consideration is that if your mom said no, is it because she doesn't like to wear bracelets? Also think about her style in general. Maybe gold doesn't match her clothes? You might be better off saving up to buy her something else that she'll actually wear.
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