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Who is the real me?
Lately I've been trying to find out who I am. I feel like I can never settle on one thing. I'm a sixteen year old female, and I'm having trouble finding out who the 'real' me is. There are days I feel emo, and only want black, and there are days I feel totally with the world and want to wear white with flowers in my hair, and there are days I go wild and try to look sexy, and there are days I feel like a tomboy and can't even stand to look at pink, and there are days I feel girly and want to do my hair up and put on something cute and girly. I'm having trouble finding out who I am. I tried taking a personality test online, but basically the answer is yes and no to all of them. Since that's clearly out of the question, how do I find out what it is that I really like, and who the real me is? I'm sure many would call these 'teenage phases' but I don't know what it is I like and can't decide on anything. Any ideas?
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What you are going through is not what could be called a phase as most all of us have gone through this. It is part of being a teenager. Part of it is hormonal confusion which will abate as you adjust to the new hormones as they release during puberty. Part of this is environmental as you try to identify with different things.
These sexual identity you are troubling with is a bit normal and related both to hormones and your environment to some extent. At your age we all want to identify with something. Many of us have some trouble doing so. There are many reasons for this and good ones for it. You are probably more self aware than others, aware of the world at large. You are also a good student who intellect is fogging your true identity. There is nothing wrong here as this is part of the environmental things I spoke of. You are also most likely somewhat shy and introverted. If so you may have just a bit of low self-esteem.
You could ask your guidance counselor at school for a personality test though I don't think you need to take one or it will give you the answers you're looking for. If you are as I believe somewhat shy and introverted then this is where you should focus to find your identity. You need to breakout of your shell and experience the world at large with as many different types of friends that you can. In this way you will find where you fit in best.
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It's a phase, but NOT exclusive to teenagers! To suddenly doubt or question your identity, feel an urge to define/redefine or reinvent ourselves can occur at any age, at any time and regrdless of our previous achievements and status. The end result of this searching may be quite a minor, cosmetic thing. Sometimes it's a complete 'turnaround' in values and lifestyle...the lot. When we deliberately impose a new order it will usually tend to roughly 'fit' or 'not fit'. The best fit evolves over time. And nothing says today's best fit is written in stone and beyond change. Maybe YOUR identity is 'transcendental'. You're capricious and not predictable. Pink and girly today. Dramatic blacks when you feel dramatic. Sexy and flirty tomorrow? Nothing wrong with that, mate. Nothing at all. You sound a bit too much of an individual free-thinker to get much out of online personality tests. Some follow a known path. Some strike out and make their own path. Some discover themselves, some create themselves. You sound like a bit of a creator on your own path to me mate. Don't let a style define you, define your own style!! X
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Embrace it all, you don't have to be defined! I sometimes would like to dress as a Spartan soldier all day, but I think that's embracing it to much : )
Have you seen United States of Tara?
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