Member Since: January 22, 2013
Answers: 70
Last Update: May 19, 2016
Visitors: 3565
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Or do I need a queen bed? (link)
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It depends on you. I prefer queen beds because then you have more room to move around. Plus, if you ever feel like getting romantic... a full/twin is usually not enough.
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I am 16, Female. I don't do a lot of exercise right now; just a walk about 3-6 times a week. I would like to get healthier. I drink a lot of water and eat fairly healthy because my mom likes to make healthy food with lots of vegetables and minimal fatty meats and stuff. However, I can feel that I am not very physically fit or flexible anymore.
I am wondering if anyone has any tips for easy exercise to do in the winter that doesn't take too much time or involve a gym membership. (link)
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It depends on what you like, or what your goals are! The kind of exercise you do doesn't matter so much, as what really matters is consistency.
I like to find workout videos on YouTube. Often times they are posted by trainers who sell workout DVDs online, so if you really like a certain person, you can usually order their videos off of Amazon. That being said, there are sometimes entire video series posted on YouTube and plenty of videos to find for free.
For flexibility, I recommend Yoga. It's not fast paced exercise, but it will help build up strength and increase your flexibility. If you like dancing, you can look up "hip hop workout" or something of the sort and you should get some results. I personally like Zumba, and have found a lot of videos that I enjoy.
If there is a specific part of your body that you want to target (like, say you want to tone your abs) and you only have 30 minutes for a workout, you can just Google "abs 30 minute workout." Look for things that don't require equipment (unless you have it), like squats, sit ups, push ups, etc.
The nice thing about working out at home is that you have a lot of different options!
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I started college and these months I developed a friendship with a classmate who's really different than me.I'm gay, he supposedly straight, and hates gay people? but we're friends, I mean. The thing is we're getting closer and closer but I don't know what's going on between us, everything so contradictory. He's really insecure and doesn't like to show his feelings. I'm going crazy because I think maybe it's all in my head. But if it is in my head then why he never complains when I say that I love him and I send him hearts and kisses and stuff, even though he always telling their mates how he hates gay people, even though I'm out to everyone. I don't know what to believe. He tries to be with me every time we have on campus. We do everything together and I don't know what else he wants, I asked him what are we but he never replies, I tell him I love him but never replies. It's weird. What do you folks think? (link)
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It's hard to say. Based on your description, I suspect - as I'm sure you do - that he is secretly gay and cannot accept this truth. However, it is also possible that he simply enjoys your friendship and does not wish to pursue anything further, as evidenced by his lack of response when you tell him you love him. Again, this could play into the theory that he is just in denial, but we have no way of knowing for sure.
What I do know for sure is that you shouldn't pursue a relationship with him (if that's what you're interested in). He is homophobic; worse still, he expresses his hatred openly and proudly. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't date a man who claimed to hate women. Why would you want to be with someone whom directly opposes a part of your identity? Any relationship that would stem from this would likely be secretive, full of drama, and end in heartache. I can see the appeal of a dramatic, secret affair, but those never end well. I understand the appeal of forcing someone to stop BSing themselves, but it's not worth getting hurt over.
Worse yet, people who cannot accept their sexuality may fly into a fit of rage when forced to confront their feelings for someone of the same sex. This has happened throughout history, I believe mainly to transgender folks, but the sentiment is similar. Of course, I don't know this person, but why take the risk that he may react to, say, a kiss, with anger and/or violence? It's rare, but it's not worth your life to find out.
I would suggest a confrontation, somewhere out in public but where you have some privacy, such as in a park, on a walk, or at some distance from other people in a cafe. Don't make any accusatory comments, but speak only from your own perspective (e.g. "I feel that you might have feelings for me sometimes, but that you deny them because you dislike gay people and don't want to be gay. Is that true?") Take it from there.
I hope everything works out for you! Best of luck.
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I'm 13 and I have a friend. She is really nice and I enjoy spending time with her, but she is completely obsessed with me. She follows me around everywhere and is constantly texting me. She is nice and all, but I need my space. Me and my best friend are trying to have a conversation, and she feels the need to know exactly what we are talking about, and in detail. She can't not know something about me and its starting to creep me out. She is always texting me. I know its quite mean, but sometimes I say that I have to go just to get away from her. I want to still be friends, but not that close that she basically stalks me. What should I do? She is also always touching me. She will grab onto my arm or hug me or whatever. This seems so weird to me. It may just be that I have bad personal space issues, but it really bugs me. (link)
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I think I understand your situation. In this case, the best thing to do is to consistently communicate your feelings, always using I-statements. An "I-statement" is a way of confronting someone without sounding accusatory or aggressive. There are many different models of the proper way to make an I-statement (sometimes called an I-message). This link has a few examples: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-message. Generally speaking, an I-statement consists of
1. Your feelings ("I feel sad...") ("I feel angry...")
2. The event that makes you feel that way ("... when you don't play with me.") ("... when you borrow my things without asking.")
3. A proposed solution, or a conclusion. ("Can we find a time to play together after you're done with your other friends?") ("Can you please ask me next time before borrowing my clothes?")
Let's say your enthusiastic friend comes up to you and grabs onto your arm. Something you can say is, "Hi! It's good to see you, but I feel uncomfortable when you grab my arm like that, or hug me. I really like to have a lot of personal space. Do you want to come up with a handshake or something else instead?" That way, the way she makes you feel is not her fault - and it isn't, after all. Maybe she hugs and touches other people, and they don't mind. The same applies when she tries to pry on your conversations with your best friend, but I would wait until your best friend leaves so you can speak to this girl privately. You can say something like, "I feel frustrated when you ask for all of the details of my personal conversations with (insert BFF's name here). There are some things that I like to keep just between BFF and I, just like there are things that I keep between you and me. I also feel irritated when I have to interrupt my conversation to explain all of the details to you. Do you think that next time you can wait until after I'm done talking with BFF to ask questions, or maybe if something seems personal, do you mind not asking about it, and I will share details when I am ready?" Of course, this sounds formal and scripted, but you will know how to speak to her in a friendly, casual manner.
As for her constantly texting you, you will just have to continue making excuses, saying that you're busy and can't talk, etc. Unfortunately, telling someone that they text you too often will likely make them never text you again, and may be a little hurtful. I'm an adult and still have to make silly excuses sometimes. That's just how it is.
I hope I have helped!
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I'm really really scared about one thing. I had oral sex with a guy and I did everything I can to be safe (im a guy too) when he came, i think some fell on my lips? The thing is, i like to bite my lips and such, but at that time, im pretty sure it's not bleeding. I also washed my mouth afterwards. Am I going to have herpes? (link)
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Herpes is actually not passed through semen - it is caught by contact with an active sore on your partner's skin. Chapped lips, cuts, scrapes, etc. make it easier for a herpes infection to occur, but you would still need to actually come into contact with a sore. It is possible to catch herpes from someone who doesn't have any visible sores, because the virus often becomes active 1-2 days before the presence of a sore, and may remain active for a few days after the sore has gone down. But most people with genital herpes, which tends to be a painful condition, can feel a sore coming on before it becomes visible. Of course, this doesn't mean that they will notify their partners (although they should), so it is important to only engage in sexual contact with someone whom you trust.
Not all cases of herpes are the result of sexual contact, either; children may get it after being kissed by a parent with a cold sore, you can get it from sharing drinks, you may even experience cold sores as a result of having the chicken pox or getting the chicken pox vaccine. It's a very common virus and many people who are infected never get an outbreak. Aside from being safe while having sexual contact, the best way to avoid herpes is to avoid sharing drinks, chapstick, etc.
I don't know what you mean by doing everything you can to be safe - did you use a condom, for instance? It seems like it wouldn't hurt to do some research on various STDs and the ways that they can be caught and prevented. Unfortunately, there are many STDs worse than herpes, but they are preventable if you educate yourself!
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There's a guy I dated a few times who I thought I liked but it turns out it's just attraction and fun (something that is missing in my life). We hang out in the same social circle sometimes and tonight a few of us got together and he was there. We went to a bar and he met up with this girl, whom prior to this he and two of my friends were saying is really dumb and other mean stuff. Meanwhile I'm just sitting there feeling totally awkward and honestly very hurt. I'm supposed to just sit there and be totally ok with it? Clearly this guy is a douchebag and doesn't know how to treat a woman right? Please tell me yes, because if I have to feel for one more second like I'm overreacting I'll go crazy. Please don't tell me that a man has the "right" to be totally insensitive to a woman he's dated before by totally failing to acknowledge her feelings in a situation like this. I still feel attracted to him and like I want him really badly and I honestly don't know how to get over it. How can I fall so hard for someone who does such shitty things? And doesn't treat women with the respect they deserve? Why can't my values dictate my feelings? (link)
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If our values could dictate our feelings, Advicenators wouldn't exist. There'd be no love songs, and no poetry. Unfortunately, many of our issues come from the fact that, for the most part, we cannot control our feelings! It's just part of the human experience.
You are definitely not overreacting. However, he probably just doesn't realize that he is being insensitive; I hate to say this, but the truth is that you and your feelings were probably not in his realm of thought. It's very inconsiderate, but he does not know how you feel, and the best way to prevent this sort of thing in the future is to make your feelings known. A simple statement such as, "I felt really hurt when you met up with that girl right in front of me. It felt really awkward and uncomfortable for me, because we used to date. I'd really like it if that sort of thing didn't happen again." Keep calm and don't attack him - even if he deserves it.
Unfortunately, people have a tendency to like what's bad for them. You clearly understand that he is not good for you and that you are better off without him, and that's really admirable. What you need to do is tell yourself that he does not measure up to your values or standards, and that you do not need him to complete you emotionally - in fact, he will only make you feel worse. You know this. And, to make things easier, you need to do whatever it takes to help reduce your feelings; avoid him if you must, block him on social media if you have to, don't speak to him, etc. Whatever it is, as hard as it may be, love and honor yourself enough to do it. You'll thank yourself later!
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I'll use fake names
(My friend)- Barbie
(Her crush)- Adam
Ok so my best friend "Barbie" has a crush and i fully support her having a crush on him. She likes this guy named "Adam" and i think he likes her too. Well the bad thing is that he lives on my street and her parents say she is not allowed to date yet. Barbie lives 15 minutes away by walking. The first time she went to his house was when she told her mom that she was going to my house to do a project. She actually just came to go to his house. I was little hurt that she used me. So she went and she had her first kiss yay for her. For a few weeks i would let her come over but she would always go to his house instead of spending time with me. BUT IM TIRED OF DOING IT, but im afraid im going to hurt her. her mom would pick her up in front of my house pretending that she just came out of my house and i had to make excuses to why she was at our house. My parents do not know she came over. they are becoming suspicous. today Adam texted her saying that he wanted her to come over and she was so excited. I told her that she couldnt because i was afraid of getting in trouble and that she could walk to his house. Then i told her if she wants things to work for them then they got to work something out instead of bringing me into it. Then she cried and got pissed at me. I felt horrible because she was upset.
WHAT DO I DO. I hope im not a bad friend... Sorry for being dramatic i just really need advice...
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This is a pretty classic situation. I don't know how old you are, but I remember going through something like this with a friend of mine in high school. Your problem is not uncommon, and I don't think that you're a bad friend for looking out for yourself in all of this. You have to look out for yourself! Friends may come and go, but you will be with yourself forever.
It looks like there are two main problems here:
1. Barbie is coming to your house just to see Adam, and it hurts your feelings because you feel used, and
2. Your parents are becoming suspicious and you are worried about getting into trouble.
Firstly, you need to understand that when a girl has a crush for the first time, it can be very powerful. Your friend is feeling a lot of things right now, and is very attached to Adam. She is likely to overreact to any kind of threat to their relationship, even if you are being very reasonable (which you are!)
I think that it may be helpful to address your feelings, using "I" statements. An "I" statement talks about your feelings rather than about her actions, so it doesn't feel like an attack on her. An example of this would be, "I feel hurt when you come over just to go to Adam's house. It makes me feel used." She may not realize that she is making you feel this way; remember, she is very occupied with her feelings.
The next thing you should address is the fact that your parents are becoming suspicious. Explain that while you really want to help her and are supportive of her relationship, your parents are becoming suspicious and you're going to get caught if you keep this up. Tell her that you are worried about losing your parents' trust; add that if this happened, she wouldn't be able to use your house as an excuse anyways, so it's better to find a different way to visit Adam, such as walking to his house.
You sound like a very sweet friend, and I understand your frustrations. I hope that everything works out for the best!
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I'm female 21 and my boyfriend is 23 so we are both consenting adults that have been dating for six months now. My boyfriend and I had sex twice last night with about fifteen minutes between both times. The second time we had sex, the condom broke when he was about half way in, pulled out right after he heard and felt it and we stopped, he didn't finish either. However, my concern was that there was still semen from the last time that may have made it's way into the second condom so he went to Walmart and got Plan B. While he went to get it, I read awful horror stories of being super sick on it and I was apprehensive to take it since I'm to get sick on my birth control originally with the burst of hormones that comes from it, so with another burst that is three times more powerful from Plan B, I almost started crying thinking about how sick I could possibly get. My boyfriend finally just said I should take it and he would be with me the next few days so if I did get sick he'd help me out, after about a half hour of talking it over.
Now, I am on birth control but I just started that Sunday - as you're supposed to begin that the Sunday after your period begins. I also ended my period on Sunday after four days of having it, I hardly ever get a full week's worth of my period. I got my period on Thanksgiving so I started my birth control on Sunday. With it not being a full week from starting my pill and it not being in full effect, I was still concerned when the condom broke, hence, why I took the Plan B. I even tried to mathematically figure it out that my next period would start Christmas Eve (go figure), so I would ovulate on December 7th, if anything did get inside of me when the condom broke, it would stay inside until December 5th and I would give or take a day or two for ovulation to occur since what is helping me keep track of everything is just an app on my phone, meaning I could either probably ovulate on December 5th or December 9th or anywhere in between those dates meaning I could have released an egg on the 5th that could attach to one of his sperm.
However, now I'm thinking about it, my birth control would take effect on December 6 (this coming Sunday) meaning I should not ovulate anyway since that is the job of my birth control pill. So, did I take the Plan B for no reason? Am I still going to get my period on time now that I should have stopped ovulation with my regular birth control and probably really ruined my cycle with the Plan B pill on top of it? What are my chances of getting pregnant now anyway with both pills in my system? I was panicking so I took it, so any side effects are my fault and honestly I'm fully expecting some type of sickness to come with the high amount of hormones I've ingested the last three days with starting my birth control and having to take the Plan B.
Thanks for your help.
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I'm not sure whether you meant that you are currently taking birth control and started a new pack on Sunday, or if you have just started taking birth control (again, since it seems like you've tried it before). If it's the former, you didn't need to use the Plan B, as it's designed to be used when you forget to take your birth control or if you don't use birth control. If it's the latter, it's probably a good thing that you took Plan B, although your risk was very small to begin with. I think that your chances of getting pregnant are basically null at this point.
From my experience, you will get your period normally, meaning, when you start taking the placebo pills in your birth control pack. But everyone's body is different, and Plan B can mess up your cycle. You may experience some side effects from taking the Plan B on top of birth control, but many people have done so in a panic. I don't remember the side effects that I experienced but I believe it was mainly stronger PMS, and worse cramps. Try not to worry about it. I know it's easier said than done, but it's not worth it to panic over something that you've effectively taken care of to the best of your ability, and that you cannot control at this point.
Best of luck!
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19/F
Iv been in a relationship for only 2 months with my boyfriend, we get along amazingly, when I'm not with him I miss him, and when I am with him I just want to stay with him all day!
But.. Iv started to become close with a guy I work with, we flirt occasionally and he knows I have a boyfriend. I was on a work night out with this guy and our other friends of course (my boyfriend was not there) and me and the guy from work ended up getting a cab together because our friends got in the other cab, we were both really drunk and flirting hard, he would try to wrap his arm around me and continued to tell me I was the best looking in the job, I told him the same, I feel really guilty because we almost kissed, I stopped it because I would never be unfaithful to my boyfriend, now when ever I'm in work I hope that we have the same shifts and I feel really guilty because I do love my boyfriend. Can anyone give me some advice to stop wanting to flirt with this boy (link)
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I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. It's normal to find people outside of your relationship attractive, and it's even normal to flirt a little bit - as long as it's not excessive. Excessive flirting (in my opinion) is any kind of physical contact aside from something like playfully touching someone on the arm, or getting too personal. It looks like your situation with your coworker was a little excessive, but it didn't cross over to cheating, at least not by my definition.
If you are really serious about your boyfriend, I recommend cutting off all friendly, non-professional ties with this coworker. Tell yourself that he is a coworker only and avoid speaking to him outside of work. If you go out with your coworkers, avoid pairing up with him or spending time alone with him; I would also avoid drinking heavily on these outings. If he asks about your behavior, explain that you like spending time with him but that you have a boyfriend whom you are serious about, and you don't want to cross into dangerous territory. Your coworker may try to argue with you, may tell you that he will not let something like your previous cab incident happen again, etc. Tell him you appreciate the sentiment but just would prefer to maintain a professional relationship. You have to rely on yourself here, not on his discretion; after all, you are the one with a relationship at stake. Trust me, being cheated on sucks, but being the one who cheated (for decent people, and you seem like a decent person) is awful, too. You would likely feel guilty about cheating for a long time, so don't even allow yourself to be in a risky situation.
On the other hand, you are only 19, and have only been seeing your boyfriend for 2 months. Many people don't like being in serious relationships at your age because they still want to be single and explore their options. If you feel like this may apply to you, or you become genuinely interested in dating other people, I would advise you to end your current relationship.
I hope I have been helpful. Good luck!
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we broke up and he said he still wants to be friends. I broke his trust unintentionally and hurt him, and he's gone from so in love to not in love at all. he told me that he wants to be friends still, I don't know, maybe it's because we're good friends before we dated. he said there's no trust as more than friends, but trust as friends can be restored. but it feels as though everytime we talk about the past, he brings up the fact that I hurt him and inevitably I feel like crap everytime because I've apologized and he said he's forgiven me. he also said he doesn't believe anything I say, yet wants to be friends still. it's messing with my mind and also makes me depressed a lot more than I already am. should I even bother staying friends with him or not? thank you, guys. (link)
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I think he brings up the fact that you hurt him because he isn't really over it, and hasn't really forgiven you. He may have every intention of forgiving you, but perhaps he hasn't really done so yet. I would also like to point out that the opposite of love isn't hate or anger or sadness, but indifference; he is clearly not indifferent about you, because he is hurt. He may not be in love with you, but he obviously still cares for you very much.
Any relationship - friendship included - is built upon trust. And even though you are the one that broke his trust, you are not obligated to do mental gymnastics to stay friends in an attempt to gain his trust back.
It can really suck to accept that a relationship is over and maybe can't be fixed. It can especially suck when you feel like it's your fault. But often, the best thing to do is to just walk away. If you'd like to reman friends, you could say something along the lines of;
"Hey, I really care about you and really want to be friends. I feel horrible for what I did, and I feel really bad for making you feel *insert his feelings here.* I get really confused sometimes because you say that you have forgiven me, but whenever we discuss our past, you bring up the fact that I hurt you, and it makes me feel like crap. Trust me, I am beating myself up over what I did. But if we want to stay friends we need to move on from this so we can build up trust again. Do you really feel like you have forgiven me? And if so, do you think that we can maybe not bring up what has happened so often? Do you want to talk about it now?" Give him the opportunity to talk about his feelings if he so chooses, and if he fights you on it or tells you that you deserve to feel bad for what you did, acknowledge his feelings and tell him that his behavior has been confusing and messing with your mind. Explain that you've been depressed lately and just can't be friends right now if he is not willing to try to move on.
Of course, my message is a little cold and impersonal, but it's a guideline for what to say if you need ideas. Best of luck!
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Now I'd like to start off that I have depression, for a few years now, I am 17/female. I don't know how this plays into this well enough or has little.
Anyways, for thepast month my depression has gotten hard on me, all the whileI've slowly detached myself from my boyfriend, and with trying to converse with him during those weeks has made him irritated from my lethargy and dealing with me, and soon I called myself off from him and became distant to him. My feelings just started to fade, feelings for him and also I couldn't very well identify my own emotions. It's gotten worse between us and before any of this problem I had made a new (male) friend. I had no intentions to have feelings for him but now they're starting to form little by little. It's all a bit too confusing. Now getting out of the hard hit of depression I had gotten now I'm trying to work it out, but I feel like I'm rejecting a bunch of things out of fear of what'll happen. My boyfriend is sweet, caring, and I'm completely comfortable with but then, sometimes he is just so messy and disrespectful to his parents, embarrassing and boring at times. And then with this other guy, through out my worst days, has managed to make me laugh, talking almost non-stop. While my boyfriend has made me feel pushed away, like what went on inside didn't matter, now all I can explain is "I don't know what's going on inside, I'm sorry" and its tearing me apart if its just depression dampening my emotions or if its legitimate, any of them. Thank you if you read all of this. (link)
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I'm sorry for what you're going through.
You don't mention seeking help for the way you've been feeling. Depression is tough, bet it's very treatable and I think you will see significant improvement in your life with the help of a therapist, psychiatrist, or counselor. If cost or accessibility is an issue, try contacting a counselor at school or look online for a youth resource in your area. If you are currently getting treatment, be sure to speak to your provider about the changes you are experiencing.
Your emotions are legitimate regardless of their cause. After all, you experience sadness from depression the same way you experience sadness from a negative occurrence in your life. I don't know if your depression is responsible for the changes in your feelings towards your boyfriend, but it sounds like you have found a lot of faults within him that you don't want to/can't accept. And that's okay. If you feel that your relationship is becoming more of a burden in your life than a blessing, it is okay to walk away from it right now.
I'm happy that you found someone who is able to make you feel better when you're down, but perhaps you'd like to clear your head and get some help before you pursue a new relationship. That way, you will know that you made the right decision, rather than doing something rash. And determine whether or not you'd like to end your current relationship before proceeding.
Best of luck!
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Me and my ex bf have been seeing each other for the past 1 year and 7 months Once or twice on a monthly basis and yes we do have sex i saw him oN the 20th nov but did not really have sex anywayz i havent heard from him since sunday 22nov until now so its been like 3 days,he is almost alot online but he dont chat to me..i thought id send him a text askin if hs ok,been quiet.thought id see if hs stl alive and i hope to hear frm hm soon..do u thnk i shouldv sent that text or shouldv just left it and stay away so he wl be able to miss me and text me first..does that text make me seem clingy (link)
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That doesn't sound clingy to me, but I can't speak for him. Regardless, you can't exactly unsend a text message, so it's not really worth worrying about.
The bigger problem, if I may, is that you're trying to make him miss you. Speaking from personal experience, these types of games may work in getting a guy interested for a short amount of time, but if you're trying to get your ex back, it will not work.
I know it's easier said than done, but part of moving on is not looking back. Don't worry about texting him/not texting him, don't think about how long it's been since you've heard from him, and don't have sex with him if you're just doing it to get some semblance of a relationship for some period of time.
Of course, I may have completely misjudged your situation. But I was in a similar position a little while ago with an ex of mine, and I really wish I had listened when people told me to stop wasting my time.
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I don't have very dark or thick eyelashes. Are there any fairly cheap drugstore mascaras to help this? I like my eyelashes to look natural, and not too clumpy. Thanks! (link)
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My lashes are long, but not very thick and they're pretty light. I really love Maybelline mascaras. I like anything from their Volum' Express line, but my favorites would have to be the Falsies ones (there are a few, but they're not too different in my opinion) and the Colossal line. I've repurchased those two lines a lot over the years. I like them a lot more than some of the high end mascaras that I've tried. They're about $8 each, I believe, which is typical for drugstore mascaras.
The trick is, in my opinion, to wear two different types of mascara at once. I don't know why, but it really gives my lashes an extra kick that a million layers of one mascara won't do!
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Hi, I am from Australia and am a teenager. I think I have OCD. I have done some research on it. I have taken online quizzes, and they say I most likely have OCD. I have read what phsycologists say OCD is and I relate. Sometimes I feel so controlled that I cry. These thoughts come in to my head, that something bad might happen if I don't do something. I haven't told my parents about this because it's too hard for me. Sometimes I walk past, say, a doorway, and I might look at something and a bad thought comes into my head, so I have to walk back and think something different. Sometimes I have to tap something a certain number of times, because I feel like if I tap it a certain number, then something bad will happen. I don't want to go to a doctor or someone professional because I don't want to make this a big deal. I have tried telling my friends that I think I have it, and they tell me "no, trust me, you don't, you're sitting on a floor, if you have OCD, you would be wiping all the seats down before you sit on them" I tried to explain to them that that isn't what OCD is, but they didn't listen. Sometimes I would have to go back and touch something, and my friends would be like "what are you doing?" it's embarrassing. I have been telling myself that it is an OCD thought when I feel like I have to do something. I don't want to write down or keep a diary of my OCD thoughts (If they are, I don't know if I really have OCD), because it's too hard, my OCD (if it is) takes over, when I try to write it down.
Does anyone know if I have OCD? If so, are there any tips on what I should do myself to try and reduce it? Thanks! (link)
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Hello! I have anxiety with what my therapist calls "obsessive compulsive features" so I can definitely identify with how you're feeling. it does sound like you might have OCD. Luckily, it's not too hard to treat with CBT and talk therapy.
On the surface level, the best thing to do (from my experience) is to not give in to your compulsions. It's hard, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Keep walking past the doorway, no matter how badly you want to go back. Don't let yourself tap, no matter how scared you are that something bad might happen if you don't.
The important thing, however, is to get down to the root of your problems; the obsession. OCD is an anxiety disorder and compulsions are just a way to soothe your obsessions. Get rid of the obsession and you won't have the compulsion. Of course, OCD doesn't just go away and your obsessions may shift to something else or return, but the better you get at confronting your anxiety and determining the cause of your compulsions, the easier it'll be to resist them.
I hope I've helped. Feel free to message me if you have any more questions!
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I had sex with my friend (both guys) and I was wearing condom. Could I get sick somehow? (link)
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Condoms are not 100% effective at preventing all STDs/STIs, but HIV - which leads to AIDS - is one of the STDs that condoms are said to be very good at preventing when used correctly.
Your risk for genital warts (HPV), crabs, and herpes is reduced when using condoms, but we can't say that condoms totally prevent these STDs/STIs because a condom may not cover the part of the genitals that happen to be infected with warts or herpes. So it's important to get tested and to examine your genitals from time to time.
When used correctly, condoms are very good at preventing HIV because they prevent the exchange of bodily fluids, which is how HIV is spread. However, it is possible (very very unlikely, but possible) to get HIV through unprotected oral sex, for instance, so if you really want to be safe, you should insist on using condoms at all times, unless your partner has been tested and is negative.
As for proper use for condoms, make sure you use a new condom each and every time you have sex. Never re-use condoms or attempt to re-use them by turning them inside out; this defeats their purpose. And remember that condoms *can* break which does put you at risk for infection; if this happens and you are unsure of your partner's status, you can go to the emergency room or call your doctor for post exposure prophylaxis, a type of medication that can help prevent HIV if you've been exposed to the virus.
Finally, if you're in a high risk category for getting HIV (your doctor can help determine this), medication does exist that can help prevent infection; http://www.truvada.com/ - but if you are being safe, have done your research, get tested regularly, and insist on your partners getting tested you shouldn't need it.
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Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old female and starting 8/15/15 I started having pains in both my nipples. My menstral cycle isn't for another week and a half about, a little less, but my nipples have never hurt before my cycle before. Does anyone know why both of my nipples would hurt? (link)
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The fact that you are experiencing pain in both nipples suggests that this is pre-menstrual. I usually get breast tenderness and sore nipples the week before my period; you've got a week and a half to go, which is close enough. However, if the pain doesn't feel like typical soreness or doesn't go away, you should probably go see a doctor, or at the very least, give them a call.
Good luck!
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So I'm a very nice peron and I'm straight forward so this is how the story goes my Bff (Bri) and me were in a fight with A boy named Max and so we went to the keys and we're on vacation together and we were sitting in the Jacuzzi and I brought the subject up because this is what my grandmother had her and told me I told her straightforward "Brianna I have to tell you something "Brianna goes " what's wrong "? "I tell her that Max's dad had told us that her dad Tony wasn't right for her mom Tess and I thought everything was OK nothing was bad but then all of a sudden she's ignoring me for some reason nobody's talking to me NOBODY!! And then I'm put in the group chat with Bri and max and they think I was lying and I wasn't I don't like to liievand they told her parents and the parents are now extremely mad at me and I don't know what to do anymore and I made up with Bri and Max but Their parents hate me to death!' And I don't Know what to do because I'm not lying and neither is my grandma and I don't want us to fight anymore!! Please help me!! (link)
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I think their parents are upset because you were gossiping about private family matters. It doesn't matter that you were telling the truth, because it was probably supposed to be a secret; Max's father likely never intended for Brianna's mom to know how he felt about her husband, or else he would've told her himself. You should never share gossip about other people, and ESPECIALLY not about family matters, even if it is true or if you are mad at the person.
At this point, you have two options; you can simply let this go and hope that it will not affect your friendships too much, or you can attempt to apologize to their parents. You should also tell your grandmother. She will most likely be angry at you for spreading gossip, but she may also be able to speak to Max and Brianna's parents on your behalf.
I hope that everything works out for the best!
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I'm 16 years old, I had asked a question a few weeks ago because I was wondering if I could of been pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I know sometimes the tests could be false, but I'm nauseous in the mornings, hungry all the time, and no sign of my period at all so I think the test is accurate. I don't know how to tell my parents, they're so strict.. (link)
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Your parents will probably be disappointed and upset, but they're also the people that are best able to help you. You can try speaking to one parent first, or sit them both down and tell them that you think you're pregnant. The hardest part will be working up the nerve to tell them, but once you get the words out, you will be okay. They will probably react negatively, but after that point, they will also help you figure out what to do.
Good luck!
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I am 19 year old female, and have been been sexually active with 2 different men in my life. (Not at the same time) and about 3 weeks ago I got my annual Pap smear but I also had a yeast infection. My cells came back normal and everything else was normal aside from the HPV results came back positive. My doctor said the yeast infection could have caused the test to be in accurate, but is that true? She wants to see me back in 6 months, but I am going to a gynecologist specialist, and am going to get a full STD screening. Does anyone know if the yeast infection could have really made the results in accurate and anything about the HPV. Thank you so much! (link)
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A yeast infection could have triggered an incorrect test, but even if you do have HPV, it isn't the end of the world.
HPV is a very common STD. Men are silent carriers, as are many women, which is why it spreads so easily. There are 2 types of HPV; one that causes genital warts and is NOT believed to lead to cancer, and one that causes abnormalities in cervical cells and *can* lead to cancer, but usually doesn't. Most women clear up the virus on their own and have no problems.
However, I'm not a doctor by any means so I'm not entirely sure. You should definitely discuss your concerns with your doctor!
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So my mom refuses to now let me go to prom because of one incident, or mistake that i have done. I am 18 years old, and i decided to get my nipples pierced just because I've been wanting to get it for a long time...my mother is very strict and is christian, so she is against all types of piercing, tatoos etc. So she found out, and bans me from going to prom, and the last day to pay for the ticket is in a week. I already bought my shoes (which was very expensive ) and i got my dress, well sort of. Is there any way that i can convince her to let me go? U have been planning out prom for as long as i can remember, and now all of my dreams are crushed...please help me, i need to convince her to let me go, but she wants to be in control of my life forever... (link)
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Although you are 18, and have the legal right to get your nipples pierced, you're living under your parents roof, and therefore they do have the right to make certain rules for you. Unfortunately, you're going to have to compromise.
What if you struck up a deal with your mom - you'll take the piercings out, with the intention of letting them close, in order to go to prom. You can always get them re-pierced later, when you're in college or out of the house otherwise.
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