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I have gone from younggrandma to just yg. Now,
I am using my real name.
I don't think anyone who knows me will have trouble figuring out who that is!

I have been gone a while dealing with things in my own life. I am back now to help once again. Do not expect answers from me that just tell you what you want to hear. Life is to short for nonsense. :)
Website: advicenators forum
Gender: Female
Location: KANSAS
Occupation: Homemaker,EMT, ER worker, Medical assistant
Member Since: March 4, 2005
Answers: 10044
Last Update: June 30, 2015
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ok so me and Girl#1 have been best friends since 4th grade and we were fine till I me and girl#2 me and girl#2 got really close and I guess girl#1 got jealous or something so in 7th grade girl#1 started saying things about girl#2 like 'why do you like girl#2' girl#2 is so weird' why are you friends with girl#2' and much more then I said 'I don't care if girl#2 is weird she's my friend' then a couple of months later girl #1 stopped talking to me then my English teacher put me in a group which included two of my friends girl#1 and her friend so as I'm doing my work I see girl#1 writing stuff in a sticky note/ post-it and her friend said 'but I don't know who you're talking bout' then girl#1 wrote something down and her friend looked at me. so my question is why would she tell everybody our business but when someone comes up and ask me 'Why don't you talk to girl#1 anymore' I say 'we just drifted apart because we only have one class together' I didn't lie we really do only have one class together so why would she do that ?? (link)
Looks like girl #1 is probably jealous. She may have good reason to be! She must still be pretty upset & if you are in a class group with her you could probably find the time to talk to her a little if you wanted to. If you want to stay friends, and you CAN stay friends, even if you have limited time to spend with each other, you need to make an effort to talk to her & at least try to be polite.

I wouldn't take it bad that she talked about the situation with another friend. If she just didn't care it wouldn't have bothered her enough to have mentioned it. She probably should have talked to YOU about it, but sometimes if friends drift apart that's hard to do. I mean she has no idea weather or not you might still want to be friends.

Do make an effort to talk to her. She was your friend for a long time.

19 Female
For the past few months I have had episodes of blacking out and passing out and getting very dizzy etc at random times. It can be when I am just sitting down or walking, anything. The past few weeks it has gotten really bad, like almost an every day thing.
I went to the doctor and got an EKG on my heart and everything was okay.
I am bulimic, which my doctor doesn't know, but I was wondering if maybe that was the cause. I am a healthy weight and everything but I know that being bulimic is really bad for your electrolytes, i'm not sure if this could be the cause.
I don't know what to do because I obviously don't want to tell anyone about this, but I don't know what else to do.
Any insight on what could be wrong? (link)
Your bulimia is probably the cause. You need to go back to the doctor and you need to tell him about it. Do not put it off because it is a life threatening condition. Seriously, do not put it off any longer.

Me and my Boyfriend have been using condoms for the passed 4 months since he took my virginity. None has ever broke or had holes in them and no sperm has got on me. My period is due in about 5 days and I usually will feel me starting to cramp. I'm feeling it off and on now but I don't know if I'm imagining it? I'm really paranoid about this and I need advice from someone who knows and can help, please. I'm seriously freaking out. My period isn't late or anything. Its due in about a weel or less. It switches around sometimes so should I be worried? Your advice would be very helpful. Thanks! (link)
If you are absolutley certain that no sperm got in you vagina, you are probably not pregnant. There is always a small chance but chances are you will be fine.

I don't know how old you are, but I would suggest you try to get yourself on the pill if at all possible. You don't want to be feeling paranoid every month!

Relax, I'm sure you will get your period soon.

What is a natural look with makeup that i can wear that looks pretty? (link)
The best natural look is just not to get carried away. Go lightly on everything & you will look great!

Ok my boyfriend stayed at my house. Hes 22 Android in 20 the started kissing me. Then started taking my closes off. The took off his closes then stared putting his dick in smokies pussy. Its been a month i took a home pregraunt test, Android it came postive. What do i do????:( (link)
Tell your mom & see a doctor. You're pregnant.

I know you aren't a doctor but that you do have ER and medical training of some sort. That's why I am writing while I won't mistake your advice as a diagnosis maybe you'll have a lead on this I can then ask my doctor.

I saw my doctor less than a week ago and described something to him but he brushed it off. It's still bothering me. He said this happens "sometimes" to people but didn't investigate why with me.

These last few weeks I have been experiencing that sensation that feels like when you really have to urinate and have held it in but can't anymore. It's all the time and I never have to piss.

The bladder is empty. I can't sit down even without feeling this discomfort the majority of the time. Is this what they call a UTI? What do you think it might be? I need a few leads as the doctor brushed it aside as "nothing to worry about". There's definitely a feeling of physical pressure.

The other thing is when I first start my urine stream it flows the way it is supposed to. There feels like more is in the tank and if there is I really have to strain to release it.

I'm NOT sexually active. I am on medication for bipolar but my blood work always comes back clean as a whistle and healthy and have no issues as it's drawn constantly. Any idea would put me at ease as I'm wound up about it. (link)
I have to say first off that I am very concerned that a doctor would blow off your symptoms as nothing to worry about. It does sound like a UTI.

Do you have any pain at all when you do go?
I think you did a great job of describing your symptoms. I just think the doctor didn't want to be bothered for some reason. Might be time to find a new doctor if this one doesn't listen.

Make an appointment & tell the doctor it isn't going away. If you don't get some action then find another doctor who will listen.

I'm 10 and my friend is 9 and her dad abuses her and I think her brother also or he did abuse her brother because he's 20 now well he touches her and stuff and he forces her to have sex and he put glass up her "down there" and she told me but she told me I can't tell anyone but she tells me everyday now stories and its sad and I'm scared for her. Her brother protected her but now no one knows where he is please help me (link)
Your friend needs to tell someone who is older that will listen to her and help her. A teacher, an Aunt, maybe even YOUR mother. If she has nobody she feels she can trust, she needs to call the police. This is a crime.

Since you are underage, you cannot have a column on the site right now. We won't delete until you get a few good answers but we will have to soon.

Its great you want to help your friend. If she doesn't do something, talk to your mom about this. She might be mad at first but you can't let her be abused.


My family is in a tough situation.
My mom has been drinking since I was in 8th grade. It was never this bad though. Before, she would always drink and get drunk but it'd only last a few weeks until my dad made her throw it out.
Then eventually she'll start hiding it.
But now, she is drunk all day and all night for about 5 months. I left for college in another state though.
As of right now, she's been living with this other man, cheating on my dad. She's there because that guy will give her all the alcohol she wants. My dad is mad of course, but they've been married for 20 years and he loves her and cares about her and wants to help her. She's a really good lady but it's the drinking that screwed her up.
Whenever she's here, she lies all the time and just picks fights with my dad. She is still living in the past, bringing up things that happened along time ago but is no longer a problem.
Even my aunt came over and my mom was bringing up things when they were kids that bothered her.
So there are many things she has been holding onto.
My younger brother, he's 16, he's in juvi right now for running away, stealing a car, drunk driving, hit and run. She blames him for her drinking. But when things were ok with him, she was still doing it.

So obviously, if she wanted to get help, she would but she doesn't want it. She told us she knows she has a problem but she can fix it herself.
She was looking up videos to stop but she said she doesn't have enough will power.

I'm not going back to college this semester so that I can stay with my dad.

He's planning on moving so that my mom can get away from this guy because right now, that's the only way she can drink and so my brother can get away from the drugs and his friends here. But right now, we're looking to help her.

We've tried an intervention type thing but that didn't work. Some other family members have talked to her too.
She won't go to rehab and she used to go to some AA meetings but that didn't work.
I know she has to want it but there has to be something else we can do.
I can't just be patient because it's been going on for too long. She needs help or she can die.
Someone told me about hypnosis. That would cost about 1,200 if it works. We would just have to convince her to go.
My dad found some CDs online and saw good reviews.

The thing is, she needs real help and me and my dad don't know what can work.
If you know anyone who has been like this and know what helped them please let me know.
I know other people who were alcoholics but they were never this bad. No one I know has ever been in a situation like this.
Thanks for the help! (link)
Before your Dad decides to up and move away you both and any siblings need to get yourself to an
AL ANON meeting. I have taken some classes on
this and believe me, moving and putting a halt on your lives will NOT help.

If you move she will find some other way to drink. If she even went with you in the first place. Alcoholism is tough to kick. The average person will go to rehab & AA meeting 3 or 4 times before they fall far enough to hit rock bottom & take the help. IF they are lucky.

She cannot fix it herself. If she could she would have done so by now. What you & your family need to do is learn to live without guilt about HER problem. Don't put your lives on hold. Just try a meeting or two. Meet people living with the same problem. It will help you all.

im 17 female almost 18
and im head over heels for this guy, david. him and me just work so well he is like my bestie who i can kiss and be a absolute moron with and he thinks it cute. we have been unofficially dating for over 6 months. i want to date him but he has really bad depression.. so we have been taking it slow. im now doubting if its a good idea to go into a relationship purely cause he still isnt sure its a good idea.. but i dont want to lose him and i couldnt just be friends with him.
ideas? (link)
Why can't you be friends with him? Just curious. :)

If you both are having doubts, and it sounds like you are, listen to your instincts. As was said before me depression can be very difficult to live with. Not only for the sufferer but for the partner as well. My hubby has it and before he got help with it I walked on egg shells & had stress like you wouldn't believe waiting for the next explosion.

Stay friends if you want, but I really think you should follow your instincts. At least for now.

okay i'm currently 16 I turn 17 in july

I really love my bf and he telling alot of people thagt he believes
i'm the perfect girl he is too 16 almost 17.he tells me that he is ready to settle down and that he wants to get married and have a kid.I really love him alot and yes he does smoke weed and cigarette and yes my parents know he does.he is a really good guy but something is holding me back he is a bit controlling like he gets mad if I talk about other guys and if I go a full two days J seeing him he threatens to take his own life and then he says that we need to runaway and get married idk I love him and always will it's just thode two things that's hurting me (link)
To answer your topic question, I don't think you are. Its not you necessarily, its mostly the guy who thinks he is ready to marry and have kids.

You are a bit young yet. But, threatening to kill himself & being controlling are immature to say the least.

I think you know all this already. If you have to question it, its not right for you. Who knows what might change in the future, but right now is not the time.

Hiii my boobs hurt when I wake up but when I wear a bra it doesn't actually hurt that much? (link)
Maybe you are laying on them crooked. :)

If wearing a bra helps & you don't mind sleeping with it on, do that. Sore boobs are no fun.

20/f Its like this - I'm a a 20 years old, and i have nothing to show for it. I don't have any work history, the only completed schooling that I have is a high school diploma, but that's it. It's hard to find a job, I mean well I'm not a people person, so even thinking of being a cashier, waitress, etc. makes my skin crawl, and no its, not that i hate people, its what i think they will think of me. I rarely go outside, and most of the time when i do do its night time. Sometimes its a struggle for me just to get out of the bed, my old doctor prescribed me zoloft, i informed that it wasn't working, he just up the dosage to 75mg (which is still not working), i know I'm diagnosed with depression, but he never informed on what type. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes i feel very agitated. i feel like a FAILURE. I want to do more with my life, i WANT to successful, but its like i can't. I've been out of school going on 3 years and i haven't accomplished anything, all of my friends are in college or working or both, living their lives, and im doing nothing. Walking to the post office from my house which is like 500 feet away seems like a journey. I barely even talk to any of my friends anymore, i barely talk to anyone anymore, I feel like I've slowly fallen off the face of the earth and no one cares. i really want to go to job corps (trade school) but its almost like college, where you go and live on campus, and im almost terrified to go because of all the people, i keep trying to tell myself it could be good, but idk i just feel scared. does anyone else have a problem similar to this or knows anyone who does? any thoughts acnd comments will be helpful. thank you in advance (link)
Well, you are only 20 so a big work history isn't

You need to keep seeing your doctor until you get your meds right. It sometimes takes a while. You are NOT a failure & you can get better. I understand you want to get out in the world & get a job & all. Be patient. Call that doctor & make an appointment.

I know several people who have done the job corps thing & really enjoyed it. Once you get your meds right I think you should go for it!

okay so this isnt really a sex question but when I had a bf, I got REALLY wet just making out! I want it to stop. I know some people say its a good thing andgys like it but I dont. I have tried pantyliner's and It doesnt work to provent it. This is really embarrassing but I get wet through my pants and I want it to stop. Please help if there is anyway! Thanks in advance. Oh and I am only 16 and have only made out and it was that bad just doing that. thanks again (link)
What you are going through sounds pretty extreme.
I would suggest you talk to your mom about it and set up an appointment with a doctor. You shouldn't have to deal with the problem on your own.

Is it ok if you don't have your period for 5 months but you don't have sex ever and it's you first period (link)
Yes its OK. It takes some time for it to get regular & all. It shouldn't be long before that happens. :)

How do I stop my period after its started (link)
You can't. It would be nice if we could but mother nature won't let us.

I found out my live in boyfriend has been having an affair. When I confronted him about it he admitted to it and said his mistress is married. I have since found out that she is not married (and never was).Why would he lie to me about her being married? What difference would it make if she was or wasn't married? (link)
I'm with Razhie. What difference does it make?

He is a liar. He is cheating on you & lying again about that relationship. You need to talk. You can mend this relationship, but NOT if he is going to continue to lie. Have it out with him.

It's been almost two weeks and the suspense is killing me!!!.... I'm pretty young and I am not able to go get a pregnancy test... So I'm here wondering if their is a home thing that I can do without my parents finding out????... I really need this so I can get it officially off my mind (link)
No. I'm sorry to say there is no home test without going to the store and buying one.

The only free home test is if you don't have your period. It isn't real reliable because stressing about it can cause you not to have your period. If you miss more than one its probably a sure thing you are.

Did he use a condom? If he did the chances go down a lot. From here on out if he doesn't have a condom, don't have sex with him. If he can't afford a condom, he can't afford you and a baby.

Play safe & be responsible always.

I went through a divorce, lost my house and family, bankruptcy and lost my job all within the last year. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. I am suicidal most days but haven't attempted yet. What do I do? I have been through lots of therapy also. I don't really want to die, just want pain to stop. Help me please. (link)
It sounds like you have the right to be depressed for sure. Thats a lot of crap to go through in such a short period of time.

I know you are probably sick or hearing &thinking this, but it takes time. The best way for you to get over it all and back into the swing of things is to keep busy.

Find a new job. Any job will do at first. Just find something to occupy your time and to feed you. Keep your eyes open for new opportunity's but do any job you can find for now.

Divorce is hard to get over. When the time is right get out there and have fun with people your age. Don't worry about a serious relationship for a while, but just get out of the house & have fun.

Keep busy for now. Keep in touch with your doctor. If he/she has you on meds & you don't feel they are helping, make an appointment and discuss it.

I'm sorry for what you have been through. It really is just going to take time to get over it all. Keep busy & good luck.

I have a bad sore throat it hurts every time I sallow. Also I get a sharp pain in my ears. I have no fever or any other symptoms. I have taken some medicine to see if it will go away but it doesn't. Do I need to have my tosils removed? (link)
You need to see a doctor if you haven't already. If you have step throat you will have to take an antibiotic to make it go away.

I doubt they will remove your tonsils unless
your sore throat becomes chronic. I had mine removed as a child because of chronic ear aches.
Now, they just don't remove them like they used to.
They consider it if you have had several problems in a short period of time only.

Feel better soon.

we got together when i was 15(yes 15,we were together for 3 yrs,got married and divorced after 9mths.stayed divorced for 18 mths,i did my thing,he did his,but he always wanted me back it was me that said no,i did terrible things but he accepted it and now 15 yrs later hes bringing it up,& i dont remember alot of the things that happened back then,& he keeps insisting i just dont want to tell him.plz give me some advice (link)
Tell him you don't remember. It was a long time ago and it no longer matters. Why the sudden curiosity?
I'd be asking him that. If it were me, I would say either trust me or hit the road because he is basically calling you a liar.

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