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he waited for 5 mins..i suppose he wiped it off properly
It is extremely unlikely that some still-viable sperm got to you, but not quite impossible. Sperm cells are not very robust and die fairly easily - that's why men have millions of them. The chances that any of them lived through the wiping off, the five minutes of time spent outside the body (his or yours), and that one of them managed afterward to make it all the way to one of your eggs are very close to zero, probably along the same lines as the odds of you winning the lottery on one ticket... but people DO sometimes win the lottery.

My advice remains the same: get a home pregnancy test and check.


I have a vodoo doll i bought it as a novelty item i have moved hosue and it came with me ever since i haev had bad luck how can i dispose of it in the right way

Many thanks (link)
Take a look sometime at the actual historical origins of the "Voodoo doll". For starters, it has no place in the actual practice of Haitian Vodou (the generally accepted spelling). The dolls are an American invention, borrowed largely from West African cultures and adopted into the practice off "Louisiana Voodoo" as the African and Caribbean cultures blended during the years of Slavery in the southern U.S.

Not only that, but the dolls were traditionally used to BLESS, not curse. Putting pins into them was not meant to cause pain to the subject, but rather as a sort of acupuncture-by-proxy to heal and strengthen the person who the doll represented.

The reason why such things acquired an evil taint over the years is due to deliberate action by those who wanted to depict black people as inherently evil. Voodoo was associated with witchcraft, Satanism, and all manner of terrible things so that rich white people would feel justified in keeping the heathens in their place. By assuming that your Voodoo doll has had bad or evil influences over you, you're basically falling for 200-year-old propaganda spread by the worst kinds of racists and bigots in history, whose primary motivation was to ensure their slaves were viewed as inhuman monsters who deserved their chains and their beatings.

Your "Voodoo doll" that you bought as a novelty item has no more power than a Barbie doll. It is a thing, nothing more. Perhaps you've had a string of bad luck since you bought the thing, but that certainly doesn't make the doll the cause of it - and it's amazing how much bad luck one can have if one is expecting to have it!

If the doll really bothers you, though, just burn it and scatter the ashes.

I've struggled with my faith since I was in high school. It started when I didn't think I was leading the life "God" wanted me to, so I started going to church more. I read my bible every day, prayed constantly, changed how I treated others, and even tried to clean up my thoughts. However, the more I read my bible, the less I believed that there was a god. Then I started researching. Long story short, I don't believe there is a god and I've been an atheist for about 2 years.

I'm not ashamed of that in any way. In fact, my life has improved greatly because I don't feel restricted by religion. I don't mean that I sleep around and do awful things without fear of consequence, I just mean that I do things for their moral value, not in hopes that I'll be rewarded after I die.

My problem though, is that my family is SUPER deep in their Christian faith. My grandparents raised me in the church of christ. While I'm okay with their beliefs, they strongly influence our family. I get dirty looks if my tattoos are showing, no curse words are allowed, etc- while those are all things I can deal with, it's things like their homophobia I can't comprehend. It's honestly stressing me out with the holidays coming up. They don't know I'm an atheist, and half the conversations they have involve topics we would STRONGLY disagree on. I can't even enjoy time with them because their views differ so greatly from mine.

My uncle in also very confrontational and I'm just afraid that if I speak up, there will be a huge ordeal and I don't want my family upset with me.. especially for something I don't think ANYONE should have a problem with! Also, I don't want to be afraid to voice my opinion. My question is, if there is a confrontation, how do I calmly deal with it? I know I'll want to scream and feel the need to defend myself which will end up making me look dumb. What do I do?? (link)
You're right about one thing: if you speak up and "out" yourself as an Atheist, there will be a confrontation. And it will be a never-ending one. Those who are devoutly religious to the point where they work it into half their conversations are not going to just live and let live when someone in their family announces that they no longer believe in God. They will see it as a sacred imperative to turn you away from the Devil and rescue you from eternal torment in Hell. And since they sincerely believe that's what is as stake, they will never, ever give up.

So one important thing to keep in mind is this: before you announce your atheism, make sure you're living independently. If you're still under your parents' roof, you'll never be able to escape the pressure to repent and return to the church.

One thing to bear in mind is that you will NEVER be able to convince your grandparents that they are wrong in their beliefs. They did not arrive at their beliefs through reason, and they've probably had 60+ years to let those beliefs take root. Arguing with them about the Big Picture of whether God exists is pointless and futile.

However, this does not mean that you are obligated to sit and be quiet when it comes to moral issues. By all means, express your opinion about the morality of homosexuality, or whatever else comes up. Do what you can to maintain a calm demeanor and above all, try not to make it personal. As long as you're discussing things in the abstract, you'll find it not too hard to keep a lid on your emotions. If they bring up a family member who's gay, for instance, and talk about how that person is bound for Hell, don't make your statements about that person in particular, but rather about people in general.

You probably won't convince them about anything there either, but let your voice be heard. Others in the room may hear your words and give them some weight. You know you'll want to scream... but DON'T do that. Your grandparents in particular likely still see you as a child, not an adult, and overly emotional behavior will be viewed as a child's tantrum in their eyes. Remember that sometimes, the point of arguing isn't to convince your opposition of anything; rather, it's to convince those who are listening to both sides. Make yours the voice of reason, and you'll do better in that arena. If you feel your temper starting to slip, force yourself into a state of calm. Let them be the ones who rant and rave, and realize that it's because they have only emotions and faith to back up their beliefs, so they have to say it loud in order to be convincing. When your beliefs are backed by reason and logic, you don't have sink to such behaviors.

That having been said... I would encourage you not to tell your grandparents or your uncle that you have personally concluded that there is no God. It seems to me that they would use that as a Trump Card over everything else you might have to say; your statements and beliefs and arguments would all be worthless to them, as you have been tainted by the Devil. The bottom line is that there really is no advantage to you that they know about your personal beliefs, so why make it their business?

my boyfriend had sperms on his hands but then he wiped it off with a hanky and then he fingered me, is there a chance of me being pregnant (link)
The chance is very small, but not zero. It depends on a few things, like how much was there in the first place, how well he wiped it off, and how long he waited before touching you again. For your peace of mind, get an at-home test and see what it says.

I have an ipod touch 5th gen. that I received as a present from my sister for my birthday, (August of 2013) It's now November. I was grounded for a month so it was taken away, I got it back just now. It was dead so I tried to charge it and it wouldn't work. I tried plugging it into my laptop and it won't appear on itunes. I don't know if the cord (Came from apple with the ipod) doesn't work because sometimes it has to be placed in the right position for it to charge, I don't know. I also tried pressing the sleep and home button at the same time for twenty seconds; every attempt at saving it has failed. Please tell me anything I could possibly do OTHER then going to the apple store as that will be my last try at fixing it, thank you in advanced. (link)
I'm an IT professional, and I work with iPhones a lot.

My best guess is that there's something wrong with the cord. If you have another one you can try, then do so, but I suspect you would have tried that already if it were an option.

You might try taking a can of compressed air and blowing out the port on the phone; I fixed an iPhone once by doing that.

Finally, try rubbing the contacts on the cord with a pencil eraser. This will remove any oils or other residue which may be clinging to the cord and preventing a good contact.

Those are the only options left to you that I can think of besides going to the Apple store. They may not be able to get a backup of your data, but I have found that they tend to be very quick to honor warranty and they should replace it for you without hassle if it can't be fixed on the spot.

When pregnant happen? (link)
When have sex, pregnant happen.

for the answer. So you feel though my kind of humorous response and kind of excitement rather than nervousness at seeing the inside of a jail is not that bad? (link)
I'd say your response is unusual, but not unhealthy. There's something to be said for taking things in stride when you can't do anything about them, and looking for the positive in any situation.

But if at some point you DO start feeling anxiety, depression, fear, anger, etc., don't try to mask it and pretend that everything is still just fine. That kind of emotional cover-up tends to turn out badly in the end.

my doctor prescribed me Zolaph for depression I have been on it for almost 3 months now and ever since I have been taking it and I have been taking it like it says on the bottle but I have been having really bad stomach cramps and been going to the bathroom a lot with the diarrhea lately ever since I have been on the new medicine are these side effects from Zolaph ? Do I need to be put on something else for my depression ? (link)
I'm going to contradict the responder below. What you are describing ARE common side effects of Zoloft. According to WebMD, common side effects of Zoloft include: sleepiness, nervousness, insomnia, dizziness, nausea, skin rash, headache, diarrhea, upset stomach, loss of appetite, abnormal ejaculation, dry mouth, and weight loss.

You should report these side effects to your doctor, and see about switching medications. There are a lot of options for depression treatments. It is common to have to try a number of different medications before finding one that works.

I've already reported your site to Google and other search engines. I hope they kick your sad sorry butts off the net, or that Obama does something about sites like this, where any idiot can answer a question like "What's the fastest way to commit suicide?" I'm a reporter doing an expose, and believe me I will expose your site and others who are allowing this type of thing to occur! God help you if a parent finds the site up on their child's computer after such a suggestion is made and the teen carries out their suicide attempt in the exact manner as a teenager told them to do.

Isn't the world cruel enough? Where do you people get your values from? Or do you have any at all?

Pull out a bible and try reading it sometime!

A concerned mom (link)
Take a look at some of the responses to the questions when people - mostly kids - say they want to kill themselves. They are almost universally supportive of that person finding a counselor or otherwise continuing with life. On the rare occasions when someone DOES post a response giving practical advice on suicide, those responses are reported by other contributors and removed by the administrators.

Let me clue you in on something: People who ask a public forum for advice on how to kill themselves are NOT looking for that kind of advice. We all know how to kill ourselves; I can look around the room I'm in and see half a dozen foolproof methods. Anyone living near a five-story building or a railroad track has a way out. Furthermore, there are websites out there where ways to die are described in great detail (are you protesting against them too? Somehow, I doubt it). No, people post suicide intentions here because they are looking for someone to TALK THEM OUT OF IT. We understand that. It's unfortunate that you do not.

Oh, and incidentally, you are a Liar. You're NOT a reporter doing an expose. If you were, you wouldn't say so; that rather defeats the purpose of doing an expose. If you were a reporter, you wouldn't be posting messages here saying so, because that would adversely affect your ability to objectively research your article. Open your Bible and see what it has to say about lying; I'm sure there must be something in there about that.

You also don't understand the way the Internet works if you think that the President or anyone else can kick someone off. Go ahead and report this site to anyone you like. Nothing illegal is being done here. I encourage you to spend as much time as you possibly can getting this site shut down. You will fail, and that will prevent you from whatever other harmful actions you might have in mind.

And by the way, you should open YOUR Bible and read it sometime; it has a few things to say about Suicide:

"And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech's head, and all to brake his skull. Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A women slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died." -- Judges 9:52-53

"And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars upon which the house stood, and on which it was borne up, of the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left. And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life." -- Judges 16:29-30

"Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself." -- John 10:17-18

I will consider it a point of pride if you give me a very, very low rating on this response and report me to the site administrators.

Tomorrow I'm going to the movies with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends. Well, they're both male.. I don't have a problem with it, but I just don't want to feel left out or something. I don't have anyone to invite, either... What should I do? (link)
Go and have a good time. Being the only girl in the group will probably make you the center of attention, so revel in it a little.

Of course, if you do end up being a little left out, just smile and deal with it. It's just going out for a movie, and it won't be much time out of your life. Besides, if that happens, you can say to your boyfriend afterward (in a joking manner!) that he totally ignored you all afternoon, so he owes you a date where he showers you with attention.

ok so on sunday I got $60 to turn into my school for a fundraiser then I put it in my binder then on Monday my friend took me to school and I lost my binder ive looked at her house my house all my other friends house and I cant find it I don't care about my school stuff I just want the $60 back im saving up my money but im also saving up for a phone and I cant have both I have to have the money in by the 28th im supposed to get my phone this weekend so do I wait til the deadline and turn in what I got or do I turn in the money on Monday and have no phone or do just tell someone the guilt is getting to me though so I need answers fast (link)
First, try to absolve yourself of your guilt. You did not do anything morally wrong. You didn't steal the money; you lost it. It was a mistake, and mistakes happen. If the biggest mistake you ever make costs only $60, count yourself fortunate!

You are responsible for replacing the money. If this means you can't get your phone right away, then that is how it must be. The phone will still be there later.

If you don't have the full sum of money to turn in by the deadline, approach your parents to make up the difference, then pay them back when you are able.

But try not to feel guilty. As long as you get the money turned in on time, you have made up for your mistake, and therefore have nothing to feel guilty about.

14/F. OK, So I have liked this guy for a few weeks now, (we are in Marching band together, he in band, I in Color Guard)and my friends (who are in band with us, so they have seen us around each other A LOT) have been telling me they think he likes me back, and that we seem to be In love. I'm slowly starting to believe he likes me back. So we had a competition yesterday(We didn't get to ride together on the bus) then guard had to separate from band to do warm ups. Then we performed and had to go back to the buses and change into a polo and jeans. I did that, and I was kind of upset cause I missed a family member who passes away a few years ago. He saw me cry and kept looking at me, out of concern (two of my friends where comforting me at dinner away from the group) my friend (who was one of the friends comforting me, 'K')said he seemed concerned more than a friend normally would. We all went to the stands to watch other groups, he sat next to me. My friend (another guy band freshman 'J') wanted to braid my hair but I said maybe later (I then put my hair in pigtails) 'J' kept touching my hair in a teasing way, causing me to squeak/giggle, and then I felt my crush do the same to me a few times and played it off like he didn't do it. He and I were sitting VERY close together, (so we could hear each other over the band, and some other reason maybe? idk) and we were laughing and talking and sharing music. I got the feeling he really enjoyed my company. Then I had to get up and run with someone to the bathroom before awards (we have a strict buddy-system policy) and when I got back 'J' was in my spot, knowing it would piss me off. I tried getting him out of my spot and my crush started to help me, then he told me to quickly get in the spot on the other side of him. I did. Then again we where sitting very close. It got cold, (he did this to one of our friends, so I asked him in an ok way)and asked him if I could have a hug. He did so right away. I don't remember if this happened before or after that hug but 'K' told me that when he put his jacket on, he did the cliché, "yawn" arm thing, and almost put his arm around me, but chickened out or something. I don't remember why he did this, but he hugged me with his right arm, and started rubbing circles on my back and then out his arm back to his side. I leaned on him a few times. Right before awards he was kind of leaning into my space, and his fingers tapped on my knees softly. When we go ton the bus he was sitting with one of my friends in the band (a senior, 'E') and I was texting 'E' and randomly my crush asks me during texts saying "Exactly, so who do you have a crush on but are to afraid to ask out?" and I find out he forced it out of a friend. But he doesn't know it's him (Thankfully!) and started pestering me about it, my friend 'K' who was sitting in front of him started scolding him for pestering me. Later she told me: I asked him why he wanted to know so badly and he said "Cause I li-" but cut himself off. Also that at practices he's usually really focused as talking to everyone, but when guard comes down to the field (including me) he becomes awkward and less focused and stares at me, and that he stares at me all the time. and he likes when I squeak high-pitched (I do that when I'm scared)and has tickled me, squeezed my waist etc.(all appropriate. also I've started noticing he stares, and band members have come up to me an asked if I like him because we both seem to like each other) Does he like me?! and when we got back to our school he was kind of teasing/possibly-flirting with me. Does it sound like he likes me?! are what my friend's say true? Does it sound like he likes me? (btw both of us are freshman) Please help, and should I try to, do something about it, my friend gave me to the middle of winter season to do something about it, or she'll take matters into her own hands. (Keep in mind he is not a very touchy person.) (link)
If you want the real answer, you'll need to ask him yourself. He may have lied to to your friend because he didn't feel it was any of her business, and didn't want it to be spread all over that he DOES like you before he ever had the chance to tell you himself.

At 14, guys are miserable creatures. We find ourselves bombarded by strong and scary feelings which seem to have come from nowhere, and we don't know how to deal with them, and the most terrifying thing in the world is that the object of our affections might actually find out about it. It sounds like you might be able to identify with this, because you haven't told him anything either.

I suggest you find some way to get alone with him, and then make the first move. I'm not saying you should pin him up against the wall and kiss him; just tell him that you want to be totally honest with him about something important, which is... and then speak from the heart. You don't need to tell him all your private thoughts and feelings right up front (in fact, that's a bad idea - you want to preserve some mystery, and you don't want to scare him off!); just make it clear that you do feel something for him which goes beyond friendship, that you're attracted to him, and you really need the real, honest truth from him about how he feels about you.

You'll be taking a risk. He might say that, in all honesty, he doesn't see you the same way. He might break your heart. But from what you say about him, I don't get the impression that he will be unkind or cruel, even if he has to let you down.

The upside is that maybe he'll find the courage to say that he feels the same way. And that's when the kissing part comes in. :)

what are the things that could have affected your experiment
Everything and anything. You'll need to be a LOT more specific if you want a more meaningful answer than that.

hey. since recently my friend and her bf got in a fight over his new kik account over fall break. then on monday he didn`t speak to her at all. on tuesday he waved at her and they talked a little about the fight but then he had to go to class. later that night he unfollowed her on instagram and he liked a few of her pics. he hasnt returned her texts though. how can she save them both please help. (link)
Maybe she can't. It depends on how serious the original fight was, how strong their relationship was, and whether both of them are interested in reconciling.

Sometimes, it can seem like a couple is totally tight and happy together, when in reality one or both of them is looking for a way out. If that's the case here - if the bf has lost interest in the relationship - then there's nothing left to "save".

If this is just a rough patch, though, then it all depends on whether they two of them can sit down and work things out together - in person, not via text. Text is a lousy way to communicate because it is sterile and emotionless. If progress is to be made, it has to be done the way people did it before the age of the smartphone: actually talking together.

There probably isn't much that you can do except be supportive of your friend. They'll need to work this out themselves, if at all.

I play club volleyball and I am trying to decide if I should also play basketball. It would really help me out but I don't know if I like basketball or not? (link)
Is there a downside to trying basketball and then deciding you don't like it and quitting? If not, then go ahead and give it a try.


I have a friend, we'll call her S. S and I go to the same high school. I can't remember at all how we became friends, but we did and it's amazing. Y'know how you have those friends that you talk to in school who never want to speak to you outside of school and make plans in front of your face? S is exactly the opposite and it make me feel special because most of my "friends" are like what I have just described. Usually, she herself is actually trying to convince me to be more social. We've been able to talk to one another for hours and never get bored. Once she kept mentioning a conversation that had us up until two in the morning on a Saturday night/Sunday morn. S convinced me to get a tumblr, which I did and I'd been wondering about my feelings for her for a while. One day I noticed a post of her's where she mentioned that she was bisexual. I've been wondering how to handle the situation for weeks. It's gotten to the point where I see her in my dreams and I'd generally identify as either straight or bisexual myself. Should I be open to thinking out any feelings for her, or should I just push them aside for the sake of our friendship? Thank you in advance. (link)
It's a tricky situation, because exploring such feelings does put your friendship at risk. In the end, you'll need to make the call insofar as whether it is worth that risk.

It is possible that the writing is already on the wall. She may be attracted to you as more than a friend, and this is one of the reasons why she enjoys spending so much time with you and talking until 2 in the morning. The only way you'll know that is to ask about it.

I recall when my best friend came out to me as gay. The first and only question I had for him was, "How do you feel about me?" He replied that I was "a cute guy, but not really his type when it came to that." I was very relieved, as it would likely have doomed our friendship if he had feelings which I could not return. But I think it would have been doomed anyway if he'd had such feelings but kept them secret.

You'll also want to consider whether you'd be interested in a public romantic relationship with your friend, or if it would need to be kept hidden. Fortunately, this is not ten or twenty years ago when you probably would have been ostracized or even assaulted over being in a relationship with another girl, but that doesn't mean society has become completely enlightened yet. I would suggest that if you wouldn't be prepared to hold her hand in public, you probably shouldn't kiss in private. It's a matter of respect; secret relationships are inherently disrespectful, because it indicates that you are ashamed of the person you're with.

Before you reveal your feelings to her, think about how far you'd want to go. Do you just want to kiss her, to see what it's like? Do you want to go further than that? How would you feel about if it she started getting intimate with someone else, male or female? Can you see yourself going on romantic dates with her, or to prom night? And if things didn't work out, do you think your friendship could survive a breakup?

In the end, all you can do is follow your heart. But I will say one thing for sure: One should never lie about love. If what you feel is attraction, curiosity, or infatuation, you can safely tuck it away and go on being Friends. If it's love, then you have to tell her.

Okay, so I know songs are copyrighted, but I'm confused about something.

Are songs only copyrighted as a whole, or are individual lyrics from that song also copyrighted?

For example... if someone took a line out of a song and used it in their own song, could they get in trouble?

Or if someone posted a video on YouTube of them singing 5 seconds of a song... could someone claim copyright?

Because how do they truly know it's their song if it's only one line/sentence being shown?

Thank you! (link)
Generally speaking, copyright comes into play when someone records music and then sells the recordings. You can sing covers live without fear of copyright issues, for instance.

A single line isn't going to be an issue, either. Peter Schilling's "Major Tom" borrowed very heavily from David Bowie's songs about an astronaut named Major Tom, and my understanding is that Bowie considered legal action but was advised by his lawyers that he couldn't win. Katy Perry sang "California Girls" and the Beach Boys couldn't sue her either. In order to be a copyright violation, the new song must be so similar to the original that one could actually mistake the new one for the old.

5 seconds of a song on YouTube isn't going to get you sued either. That falls under "Fair Use". It would be like quoting a single page out of a book.

As you say, "how do they truly know it's their song?" The fact is that they don't. So many songs have been recorded over time, I would imagine that it's just about impossible to write a new song where every line is original.

Bottom line is that no musician is going to get uptight over one line from their work being used again, even if it's very memorable. Most would be happy to see that they are inspiring other artists.

I want to know which is the best contraceptive with no bad side effects (link)
Of course, abstinence is 100% effective and has zero side effects. But if you actually want to have sex...

When used properly, condoms are the next most effective method of contraception with the fewest side effects. They have the additional benefit of protecting against most STDs. The most common mistakes made with condoms are: using expired ones, putting it on backwards and then reversing it rather than discarding it and getting a new one, or having genital contact before it is applied or after it is removed. When they're used right, they're all-but 100% effective.

Another effective method is the IUD (intra-uterine device). They prevent pregnancy at rates very close to 100%, but they do have their drawbacks. The most significant one is that they do NOT protect against STDs in any way. Another side effect can be cramping and excessive menstral bleeding, though this does not affect all women. They must also be put in place by a doctor.

Well, idk where to start but for a long time I've had this kind of memory of my dad taking me to the toilet when I was 2/3 and was only just really getting used to going by myself and i just remember him sitting me down on it and telling me to keep my legs open, i can't remember if I actually needed to use the toilet but I remember it was uncomfortable sitting like that...

I'm 21 now and still remember this but I don't know if I've made it up and if I haven't I don't really know if it counts as any kind of violation. I've remembered this image for a long time though, and it's only like 3 seconds long but it always jumps into my head at random times :s

So I don't know what to think about it to be honest. (link)
Right now, I have a three-year-old son who is just now being introduced to potty training. The other day, I demonstrated for him exactly how one uses the toilet. I didn't do it because I got turned on by it; I did it because he wasn't getting it from words and descriptions alone. And this means that he saw my penis. I also see his penis when I give him a bath or change his diaper. Sometimes I must touch him there to get him clean or check the status of a diaper rash. I saw my daughter naked as a toddler when I did the same things for her. It's a necessary part of parenting and it's only a big deal if a big deal is made of it.

Let's assume that this is a genuine memory, not one that your mind made up over time. The reason your dad might have asked you to keep your legs open was simply to make sure you were, in fact, peeing. To a child of 2 or 3, the concept of urinating deliberately instead of just letting it go is something new. It's one of the less pleasant tasks of parenthood to teach this skill, and it involves dealing with penises and vaginas. It's unavoidable. It is not a violation if it is done dispassionately and in the interest of teaching the child the necessary skill of using a toilet.

If this is the only uncomfortable memory you have along these lines, then you can rest assured that your dad was just doing what parents must do, and that he took no inappropriate pleasure in it. I suggest you try not to stress about it.

So long story short my boyfriend watches porn. It hurts my feelings an it makes me not feel wanted or not what he wants. I found a lot on blondes like hot an sexy blonde blonde this blonde that. But I'm not blonde. He said he didn't kno why the blonde but he has made a comment to me about he wants my blonde back an such. Also why having sex he was like saying stuff about squirting the whole time an he knows I don't squirt? He has done a few things like this an now I'm even more insecure. I also see him looking at other girls butts constantly while were out. I don't do any of this to him and I don't play with myself to other guys. He used to look at pictures which hurt me more then porn but he says now he just does porn? I just don't understand an I'm not the controlling type but I need advice. I don't do so why does he? (link)
Probably about 98% of guys look at porn. Those who claim not to are most likely lying about it.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then he should have the courtesy to keep it private (and likewise, you should not pry into it). If he's doing it right in front of you while knowing that it makes you uncomfortable, that's rude and thoughtless behavior on his part and shows a lack of respect for you. If he's checking out porn while he's alone and you only know about his preferences because you're looking through his computer, then you're the one breaching HIS privacy.

Also, remember that porn is about fantasy and does not necessarily reflect what a person wants in real life. I enjoyed the movie "The Avengers", but I sure wouldn't want to actually LIVE in that universe! Likewise, his preferences when it comes to porn are not necessarily reflective of what he might want in reality. Women in porn are generally hyper-enthusiastic about sex and want it all the time; most men don't actually want this when it comes to a real relationship with a real person.

Insofar as the blonde thing... well, clearly he has a thing for blonde hair. As such preferences go, that's a pretty benign one. I'd say, why not invest in some hair-lightening product and give him a little of what he likes? It's easy enough to change the color back again if you find you don't like it. I don't think there's anything wrong with changing small details about one's appearance to please a boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if they're easy things to change back again. If a girlfriend had told me (for instance) that she found a beard to be attractive, I would have happily grown one for her. Why not? Indulge him in this, and then feel free to ask something of him in return. He may be enthusiastic about fulfilling some fantasy of yours.

As for squirting... that's mostly a myth. It's totally faked in the porn movies, and even when it does happen in real life, it's very subtle. For him to say that he wants that from you would be similar to you saying that you'd like him to use the Force. You can safely tell him that this is never going to happen, and he might as well stop wanting it because no woman will ever be able to give it to him.

You say that you don't indulge in porn yourself. That's fairly typical. Men tend to be more turned on by visual and auditory stimuli, while women are generally more affected by emotional stimuli and romantic gestures. That's why men look at porn, while the vast majority of romance novels are bought and read by women.

Checking out other girls is another matter. I can assure you that the day he stops finding other girls interesting is the day he's lost interest in you as well. Now, common courtesy demands that he be discreet about it and that he should focus primarily on you; if he's going out of his way to check out other girls and/or comparing them to you and finding you wanting, then he's being rude and inconsiderate of your feelings, and you should not have to put up with that. If he's just glancing to the side every so often because an attractive posterior walks by, then he is a normal, healthy male human being.

Bottom line: you should certainly insist that he treat you with respect and courtesy; and that means he should keep any sidelong glances brief, that any porn-watching he does is done in private, and that he shouldn't expect you to fulfill all his fantasies - particularly the impossible ones. In return, you must accept that his glancing at other women does not mean he finds you unattractive; that how he gets himself off when he's alone is essentially his business; and that there's nothing wrong with giving him what he likes sometimes - provided, of course, that he's willing to do the same for you.

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