about

Hi everyone. I had been away for a VERY long time due to various reasons (becoming a student being one of them) but here I am - back again.

"Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains..." -Poison, Every Rose Has It's Thorn.




My names Ammo and I'm here to give any help or advice on anything that I can. :] Firstly, if you were kind enough to come here and read up on me, I thank you.

I've been through a lot when it comes to relationships and life in general. I've seen and heard many things and have always felt it's nice to be able to share my experiences (both good and bad ones) with as many people as I can in the hopes that I can help others not make the mistakes I've made (and sometimes still make). Who knows, maybe there's a lesson or two I can learn from you as well. There's a lot more about me on my main web site so feel free to check that out, I don't bite - honest (even though it may look that way from my web site). 0:)
I don't mind Emails from people and also don't mind anyone adding me to chat but if you add me to anything please leave me a message to let me know where you have added me so I can keep an eye out for you. If you want to know something about me which isn't on my web site then by all means feel free to drop me a message. I love gettng to know new people (regardless age, sex, religion or colour) so don't mind people randomly messaging me. ^_^

advice

Hey guys!!!

So I like to take pictures off twitter when I'm in class on my phone or ipod. I will then put them on my laptop but if I set it as my background then I can't get an HD looking picture that fits my resolution.

My resolution is 1920x1080. If i go look up pictures on websites I can find images that are HD and fit perfect. But those are not the pictures I want, if that makes sense. How do I take pictures that I took off my phone or ipod and put on my computer to fit 1920x1080 perfectly and crystal clear on my screen??

any help is appreciated thanks!

Most cameras on smart phones have a setting (or settings) where you can change various options, one of which will be the image resolution or image quality. The higher quality the image you set it to the higher quality the image will come out (with a higher resolution). This should fix the problem but bare in mind that not all cameras on a phone will have this setting and may not have a setting that can produce images at the quality that you need. As for the settings you require, these vary between devices and so the best way to find this out will be to either do a search on Google for your specific device or have a browse through any instruction/user manuals you have that came with the device.

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I graduated college in 2010 with a medical related diploma. I have been struggling to find a entry level job related to my major. Every job I apply to I don't receive an answer or when I finally get the interview employers never pick me. "You're not what we are looking for", they tell me. I started to lose confidence in myself. It's been four years and the only solid job I had was because the other girl decided she didn't want it at the last minute. I was their third or forth choice. I quit after the company developed problems and had to downsize.

I went back to college to start fresh, changed my major, do something completely different, and reinvent myself. But a part of me is still stuck with the notion of not being good enough. I've become pessimist and mean towards others. I'm not that type of person but I can't stop myself. How can I stop this?

I think you are placing the blame for what is happening/happened in the wrong place. I don't believe for a second that you are the one who is not good enough. To have a diploma is one thing but a medical related one is something I can't even imagine the amount of hard work you must have put in to get it. I've no idea where you are from but if there's one thing that seems a common thing at the moment around the world, it's that there are not enough jobs to go around. It is very hard to get a job and even when you feel you have the right qualifications someone else will come along and have just that bit more to take the position away from you. It took me 3 years to get into the field I am in now because of this exact problem. I had the qualifications but I lacked any experience.

Don't give up on yourself and certainly don't feel like you have not been good enough because that is certainly NOT the case at all. The harsh truth of the matter is getting a job is a very hard task at the moment. Where I am, statistics say a large portion of those who are walking away with degrees from universities are ending up working in retail jobs and such because they are struggling to be able to find work in their chosen field of study. I imagine I will also encounter this same problem when I complete my degree which I am doing on a part-time basis so that I can carry on working in my current job and study at the same time.

Don't change who you are and try keep positive because something good will come along but you have to stick to it and keep pushing along and trying because once you give up that will be when you really fail. So don't give up and yes it can be a real downer when you keep getting turned down but don't let that drown your confidence - think of it this way, all those companies that turned you down, lost out.

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I'm a 13 year old girl and I moved recently because of my dad's job, that's when my social anxiety really started setting in. I've always been known as the "quiet" girl at school, but that's just because I prefer to think rather than yell everything that comes to mind. I was quiet but I could have a loud, strong voice when doing presentations and things and I loved attention a lot of the time. But ever since I moved seven months ago I can't even talk to people outside of my tiny group of friends. Today, I had to present my art project in front if the class and I vowed that I would force myself to talk but everything just left my mind as I stood up there mumbling to my feet. I also had a nervous breakdown when a cashier made small talk with me at the grocery store. I'm very self-conscious because I'm a little overweight and always feel like people are staring at me, so that's not helping the problem any. My mom is well aware of my issue so is there any doctor/therapist type person who specializes in these types of situations that I could ask her to take me to? Is there any way that I can help myself? Thanks in advance!

Hi. There is a therapist who would be able to help you with this but you must also understand that from the sounds of things this seems a natural defensive response to the move you made from somewhere that was known to you and was 'safe' to a place where you are a stranger and everything around you is new and unknown. So although therapy will be able to help and direct you on what you should be doing, it will involve a lot of self help. If you want to seek out therapy, I would advise doing so as a talk with a professional who understands what you are going through will be able to explain it to you better and advise you on what you need to do to be able to start helping yourself and more importantly will be there to keep guiding you and checking on your progress. Speak to your doctor and when you do ask them if they can suggest a therapist or a specialist who can help you with overcoming your social anxiety.

As I said above I believe the cause of this has been because of the move and you have moved from a place you knew really well and was comfortable in, into a place which is now new and alien to you and so your safe zone has suddenly shrunk. The fact you feel so self conscious about yourself as well is probably not helping things as well and is further pushing you into a tighter comfort zone. The surefire way to overcome this will take time and patience and a lot of effort on your own part, you will slowly need to expand that safe zone you have created around you just ever so much so that you are making progress but not jumping in so deep that you have a panic attack or nervous breakdown. Start with little things - when you go into a store say hello to the cashier. When in school talk to other people even if it's just small talk but remember that all of this is stuff you can build on. Make the place where you are now YOUR place so that safe zone you have around you expands around the whole place. As I said it will take time and try be patient too but also, speak to your doctor about wanting to see a therapist or specialist who will be able to help you manage this and if they can recommend or refer you to one.

Don't give up because before you know it, you'll find you are back to yourself again. Good luck

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I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do

Just ask them and see what they say, the worst thing they can say is no in which case you may just need to show them that you are trustworthy and careful. I am assuming you are quite young and if this is the case in some respects I could understand why your parents might be against the idea as social networking media is great for meeting people but it also has its down sides too because of the type of people you can come across on them. You should speak to your parents and see what they say and explain to them what each of those apps is about and how they work because you may need to explain this to your parents as they may only have ever heard of the negatives about them all in the media (TV, News etc) but know nothing else about them (like being able to keep your profiles/accounts private or hidden). See how it goes and if they say no just tell them you understand and try again further down the line.

I mean the first thing you should really ask yourself is WHY you need either of those? Is it just because everyone else seems to have them? To keep in touch with friends/family who have them? To meet nee people? Other than wanting to keep in touch with friends and family the other two reasons in my opinion are not the best of reasons to have them especially if you are young as, like I said before, you will unwittingly attract bad elements on there so ideally you need to ask yourself why you need them.

Regardless of what your parents say just remember they are only being so overprotective because they care about you. For any parent to see their child hurt or suffer is a very, very painful thing for them to have to go through and its the last thing they could ever want. It may stress you out sometimes with how over protective they are but try just remember they are trying as best they can to keep you safe and sometimes that does mean they have to say no to you and come out looking like they are the bad or unfair ones.

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Okay so I'm fourteen, 5'3 (or 5'2 or 5'4.. Not sure), and I weigh between 120 to 130 pounds.

So I was overweight in elementary school. Is it possible to still have that fat? I'm in ninth grade. I lost weight from eating healthily in sixth and seventh grade, but I may have gained some pounds. I'm not happy with all the fat on my stomach and face.

Okay, so my stomach is like huge. All my weight goes there somehow. It scares me because it makes me somehow believe I could've got pregnant (I know... But what if some guys' pants got to my front area while he bumped into me or something?). It scares me. And when I sit down, I have like 3 rolls and it's embarrasing. There's 2 big ones and one small one. I'm able to suck in my stomach to make it not noticeable, but I hate having to do that. What can I do? I've been eating so much healthier lately, doing jumping jacks, sit ups, lunges, etc.

What you eat makes up a majority of a healthy lifestyle, the remaining being exercise. Although you have been eating healthy and exercise this could simply be a matter of youo being young and still developing. Your body is still changing and developing and so the changes in your bodys motabolism as well as other changes in your body could be what are affecting things but on this I am uncertain. Maintain a healthy eating habit and exercise and you will eventually start to see changes but it may also be advisable to speak to your GP/doctor as well as they can always advise on whether the reason you are not noticing anything is to do with what I said or there is something else that is going on.

I tried to contact a PT (personal trainer) that I know to ask his input on this for you and once I hear back from him I will try and update my answer with any new information he is able to provide as well including any advice he is able to offer what may help.

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Hey!I am 22 years old! My situation is kinda tricky!
I have been talking to my best friend's good friend since 7 months! We both started talking as friends and a few days back, he hinted that he likes me and I like him too! He said this to my best friend and she reacted in a way that was totally weird! She said she would want us to date but she will maintain her distance from us! She said she lost two of her only friends! And she has been avoiding me since! I have always put my friend before him and told her that I will not date him unless she approves! She had issues previously as most of her friends have been interested in me and I never bothered! With ths guy is been different! He is confused and feels really bad! Am I a bad friend? I am letting go of my needs to make her Happy! Does this make me vulnerable and stupid? Is this a sign of weakness??: O please advice! Soon!: (

Hello. I think in a way I can understand where your friend is coming from and why she is reacting the way she is reacting and I would suspect it is either from soemthing that has happen to her before or its something she has seen happen to someone else before (I have seen it happen in both instances).
Firstly though you are not being stupid at all and certainly not being weakc by being so considerate of your friends feelings. This is in fact a really nice thing and not something many would consider doing in your place and I certainly hope that your friend can appreciate that.
As for your friend and the way she is reacting to this whole thing... as a couple you and this guy will want to hang out together (it's what two people who are dating do after all) and this means that your friend will now suddenly feel excluded and will probably start seeing less and less of you both and when you guys are out together she will probably feel like she is the third wheel and just feel a little out of place (doesn't always happen but it can do sometimes). And worst case scenario IF things fall apart between you and this guy it will put your friend in the middle where she will end up having to choose. None of this is what will happen for certain but all these things are probably what your friend is worried about which is why she feels she will lose both her friends. I can speak from experience as this had happen to me as well when two of my best friends both decided to move from being friends to something more and at first I saw less and less of them until eventually I hardly ever saw them at all up to not seeing either of them because they had a bad break up and I got stuck in the middle of them. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to talk to your friend and just reassure her as it may well be all she needs but I would say not to sacrifice your own needs and feelings for the sake of this fear that your friend has as well. It is really nice and considerate that you are putting her first but in something like this you also need to be able to put yourself and what you feel first too. As with any relationship as long as there is balance and you guys spend time together and time with friends, then there shouldn't be any problems. I have always maintained that a good relationshiop is this balance because the consequences are not only loosing touch with your friends but also making the relationship with your partner that much more strained because you are around each other constantly and this is not healthy - both parties need to be able to spend time apart as well and maintain their own independance and friendships with others.

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Last week to work I wore a shirt with a native chief on it and my friend got pissed off saying it's cultural appropriation. My reply was that I am part native, a whole side of my family is native, I happen to be a 1/4 with a status card. I also have many handmade native ceramic pieces around my house. Now my question is, is this considered to be cultural appropriation? I'm part native, I didn't wear a headdress or a symbol/clothing item that you have to earn, I just loved the shirt and love my native side.

I don't see anything wrong with what you were wearing at all. This seems to be no different to someone wearing a shirt that has the picture of Buda on it or a bunch of foreign symbols/writing on it (which I do all the time as am very facinated by the asian culture). Wearing them in my opinion is not in any way showing any kind of disrespect and if it's not something that is considered sacred or something you would normally have to earn then I see no reason why anyone shouldn't wear it. As for cultural appropriation, many people and cultures appropriate and incorporate aspects of other cultures into their own and this can be seen throughout history and personally I don't see it as being a bad thing as such but simply wearing a shirt showing a native chief on it in my opinion is not something that anyone should be getting pissed off about especially since it is no way offensive towards anyone.

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I am a 16 year old girl, I recently had sex with a guy almost 2 weeks ago.. I have a friend who has genital herpes and I told her about it and she told me that she had sex with him a month before.. she's one of my best friends but she's also one of those people who has sex with people and doesn't let them know about what she has. She told me they used a condom and that she wasn't having a breakout at the time, so the question is there still a chance a guy can catch herpes that way? And if so is it high risk? I'm really worried because I didn't use a condom with him and I had no idea about them having sex until she told me when I told her.

This is something I had to try find an answer for, for someone else as well and it took me a long while to be able to find the answer as most places were very vague about it.

In short, the understanding I have of this is that when a person has a breakout they are far more likely to be able to pass it on to the person they are with and even using a condom only provides partial protection because direct skin to skin contact is all it can take to pass this on - so a condom is not a guarantee that you will avoid it. However, there are less chances of catching it if it is when the person is not having a breakout.

I think the safest bet at this stage is to have yourself checked out because it is the only real way you will know for certain if you are in the clear or not. Try speaking to your doctor/GP or health clinic about getting checked out for it and explain to them what happened. I will certainly hope you are in the clear but either way please be careful and always use a condom. This is a prime example of how you just never know what the person could be carrying even without their own knowledge.

Good luck and I hope that you are in the clear but as I said above the surest way to know for certain is to have yourself checked out because everyone here can give you opinions but they will mean nothing until you know for certain.

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I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything?

Hello. I think you should definitely go to and speak to the police about this. I am assuming you are an adult in which case taking and sending him the pictures would have been just fine but blackmailing you IS illegal and against the law and this is something that you should not have to tolerate from this person.

If you are someone who is not an adult then firstly I will say please, please don't send pictures like these to ANYONE because you honestly just never know what they will do with them and they can end up being a big source of embarrassment for you if they do get out. Also, in this case, if he accepted the pictures knowing full well you were a minor then he is breaking the law - regardless how old he is. So I would advise that you speak to the police about this and see what they can advise and see what they say. At the very least they will have a chat with him about him trying to blackmail you. If you have the messages he has been sending you threatening you then keep those so you can present them to the police as evidence. No matter what he threatens you with DO NOT give into his threats because once you do he will just continue to blackmail you, having more and more material with which to blackmail you with and soon after you will find you are stuck without a way out. So before it gets to that point you should seek out advice from the police and see if there is something they can directly do (I would think they must be able to do something about this given he is openly blackmailing you.

Good luck, please let me know if I can help any further as well.

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I'm a 16 year old girl.

A few days ago, my friend gave my number to a guy who lives a couple towns away from us. He started texting me, saying he was bored and all. We chatted for a couple days and he wanted to know what I looked like (he doesn't have a facebook) so I sent him some of the pictures I have up on facebook. He sent one back. Later, he said the email had been deleted and he asked for more pictures. I sent him a couple more (we had been flirting) and one of them was slightly scandalous. I was in a t-shirt and underwear, but you couldn't see anything terrible and it was basically innocent.
A couple days later, my friend tells me that someone had "nudes" of me. Of course, I was flustered. I didn't send the guy anything bad, but it still makes me nervous that he's spreading rumors. I texted him asking why he was such an asshole about the situation, and he got extremely defensive and just called me a whore.
I want to take some sort of action about this whole thing. I've been trying to track down his mom to email her or something but I can't find her. What should I do? This is extremely upsetting to me.

Although something like this can happen and sometimes comes down to nothing but someone spreading rumors based on nothing but hearsay this situation seems to be a little off.

I would say to speak to your parents and let them know of everything that has happened. You've not done anything wrong and I suspect that this is just a matter of this guy telling your friend how you sent him nudes (which weren't nudes but being a guy its no surprise that he decided to embellish this) and when you confronted him he just got defensive because the truth came out i.e. you hadn't sent them and he is a liar. Speak to your parents and see what can be done. I would imagine they will want to speak to your friend (or your friends parents) to find out how your friend knows him and what he/she knows about him and if his parents can be contacted. I would say that involving the police could be a big help but I am unsure, given the circumstances here, that they will get significantly involved. For peace of mind though it might be a good idea just so they can look into who this guy is.

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I don't know what it is recently. But I have turned slightly clingy towards my boyfriend. Like I want him to text me throughout the day (he's not a big texter) and I hate when we don't talk at night.

I'm 23 and feel so childish! We are long distance and had some trust issues but never with any kind of cheating or anything like that. It's just hard to feel like he's interested when I haven't seen him in a while. But we've been together 5 years, so I should be used to that. We are almost able to not be long distance again. But everything has been going well, yet I can't stop picking. I hate it! He deserves to be happy and not have me pick when he can't talk! I have never been like this before and would not like if he was acting the way I do sometimes. He just feels like he's not as interested.

So I know I basically just told all of you my insecurities and how I'm the bad guy, but I am just wondering if anyone has any tips on how to relax. I really love him and don't want to fight with him. I'm busy most of the time but when I have a free moment I want it to be spent talking to him.

The combination of being away from your boyfriend in a long distance relationship as well as the trust issues you both faced in your relationship can all lead to these insecurities that you feel and this is normal and a prime reason why many long distance relationships tend to break down. It is very hard to maintain relationships such as these but the best you can really do is talk to him about these insecurities you have so he can understand why you act the way you do and try as best as you can to manage them. Being busy most of the time it is understandable that you would want to spend the time you do have talking to him, again this is something you should talk to and tell him so he understands further about the why you are acting the way you are. For the most part I think he would understand. Trying to keep yourself occupied either with work or even with friends and going out and such will help you try keep your mind occupied and give you both breathing space so that neither of you feel clingy.

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I'm really struggling through healing from a break that I had at the beginning of the year. He asked me to marry him and I said yes so technically we were engaged? We never talked about why he just packed up and left because he avoided me. We did start talking again but I was afraid to bring up things because I didnt want to make things stressful . I ended up confronting him and he basically said he left because I lashed out at him for no reason, and I kept putting him out. I am not the type to lash out or argue unless someone hurts my feelings or upsets me. A lot of the times he would minimize my feelings or shut down when I wanted to deal with our issues. I never put him out, i only told him to him to leave if he can't talk to me or act like he wants to be at home. He said he did nothing wrong in the relationship that it was all me. Because he blames me, I have started to feel really guilty and questioning myself because I know there were times I did get upset but I remember having reasons. I did everything I could to be a good girlfriend to him and make him happy. I pretty much have accepted full responsibility for single handed ruining a relationship I really wanted to work out. I feel really bad because I hurt him, but I've apologized so many times for it. I'm just having a hard time forgiving myself. How do you move on without being able to fix it?

Stop-blaming-yourself.

A relationship is a partnership and it works both ways. Lets say, just for the sake of argument that he is right and it was your fault... did he try sit down and talk to you about things and try fix things? For the longest time, when one my ex's had broken up with me (she was my first gf so as you can imagine it wasa rough thing to deal with) I kept blaming myself until I sat down and asked myself that same question I just asked you. My answer was, no - she didn't.

Stop blaming yourself because clearly your ex seems quite happy to just blame the entire thing on your and not take any responsibility whatsoever. Truth of the matter here seems to be that you tried to do the right thing by talking and trying to fix things but if he was unwilling to meet you half way to also do this then the real fault here is his own. Maybe he just can't see that or just doesn't want to accept that and so is finding it easier to blame you but the way I see it, this wasn't your fault nor was it something you should be apologizing for.

Any break up is hard and no matter what I say it will not make it easier to deal with. All I can really say is he had his chance to fix things by talking to you and he chose to walk away instead. More importantly, he seems to have gone running straight to his ex and is engaged to her as well - that all just sounds like a disaster in the making so it wouldn't surprise me if eventually he comes crawling back to you saying he will take you back if .

Give yourself time, it is what will help and its different for everyone on how long that will be but it will happen eventually. But stop blaming yourself for the break down of your relationship because it wasn't your fault. You tried to fix things, he was the one who instead of facing things and also trying decided to run away from it instead.

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I've recently started dating a guy. We expressed mutual desire to wait a while for sex as we both valued emotional connection versus just physical, but things happened and well, in a heated moment of passion, we has sex. Unprotected. Damn. I asked before he put himself in me if he had a condom, he didn't so we slowed things down a bit, but apparently not slow enough cause we ended up having sex anyway. Stupid move, I know. But being on birth control for the last 10+ years I wasn't worried at the time about pregnancy. Until after of course when you inevitably get that constant panic until your period shows up...

We talked about it afterwards and I expressed that since I felt emotionally ready, it wasn't a big deal for me that we didn't wait to have sex, and that it was a step further in our relationship and wanted to make sure he was on the same page, but that condoms were a must in the future. He seemed to be but he still wanted to wait a while for the next time. Fair enough.

A week later, we did diner at my place and things got heated again, and realizing that I didn't hit up the pharmacy that week for condoms because I assumed that 'a while' meant more than a week, I decided not to let things end up in the bedroom. He asked what was the matter and I told him we couldn't have sex because I didn't have condoms at my place. Turns out he doesn't believe in wearing condoms, only in the pull-out method (which is not actually a protection method BTW!), and doesn't want to use them because it ruins the moment. I explained that condoms are supposed to be part of the act and that there are sexy ways to include it, just like grabbing for lube or a toy, and they don't have to be this evil thing he made them out to be. He responded in a "well i've always done it that way and since we both dont want kids right now, whats the problem? besides you're on the pill anyway". I explained that the condom was used for protection against a lot more than pregnancy for me, and it keeps my sanity after sex from my mind going wild and thinking up all sorts of "im pregnant" scenarios, and that it also just happens to protect against STD's. He basically told me that the pullout method was more effective and that I was being very manipulative "going back on my word" after the first time. I apologized for the miscommunication, but that I was not ready to change my beliefs (and health risk!), and that if he didn't understand than we would just not have sex, ever, and that is a very important aspect to a relationship for me. He proceeded to try an convince me that "since I was going to be worried about pregnancy for no reason until my period anyway, that we could do it one more time his way (pullout) and then afterwards we could continue with using condoms. I told him that I was not going to be bargaining with him about something that I care very strongly about, and he responded with a speech about how apparently I didn't actually care about him if I was willing to throw away what we had built just because he wouldn't wear a condom, and that it was just because I like to be in control of everything. I told him that it was a very difficult decision, but I had to go with my gut and trust that if he truly cared about me he would understand. I didn't ask him to change his beliefs, but to understand where I am coming from. He left after saying "you're making a huge mistake" so I'm pretty sure this means we are broken up.

Did I make the right call? I'm beating myself up for it, but I tried to be as subjective as I could.
female, 26

You made the right decision in sticking to what you believe and not changing that just to benefit this guy. Yes, being on the pill may protect you from becoming pregnant but is not without its own problems, the risks of STI/STD's being the major one (and how the pill is not a 100% guarantee against becoming pregnant).

From the sounds of things this guy seemed to be making the most ridiculous of arguments against why he doesn't use them and more importantly, why you also shouldn't use them to satisfy his need in not wanting to use them (the pull out method is NOT a very reliable method at all) and I think the main thing to remember here is that it will not protect either of you from any kind of STI. The fact that he was oblivious of this is a disturbing thing.

You made the right call in what you did. There are many people out there who have thought that just once they will make an exception and have ended up regretting this because they ended up having something passed onto them (I personally know a couple of people who this has happen to and the best comfort I could offer them was to be glad what they had was treatable because it could have been a LOT worse). Be content and proud to have stuck to your beliefs - your example is something that many people can learn from who probably would have given in because reading through your chat with him I would say he was the one who was trying to be manipulative, not you. He came out with everything he could, from the looks of it, to try get you to change your mind instead of just accepting your wishes. It's YOUR body and ultimately it's your responsibility to look after it which you did. Rest assured you made the same choice I would have made in your place. Yes condoms can be a pain sometimes but, I would rather have to deal with that minor inconvenience than find out I got an STI/STD because I decided to take short cuts.

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Hey, before I start, I just want to say that this might be long, so please try to read the entire thing :) Ok, so I'm 15 years old and I feel like my life is broken beyond repair. I'm really not exaggerating. At school everyone's started hating me. Even the teachers. I really don't know what I did, I try my best to be nice to all of them. My classmates go out of the way to make me feel hurt. It was time for Christmas and just before our term break, everyone in my class made plans to buy each other presents and purposely ignored me. Well, I acted like I didn't care because I knew they were trying to hurt me but on the last day of the term, they exchanged presents in class in front of me, the only one left out. Maybe its because I'm not as rich as them (yes, they look down on me for that too), but when I looked happy because I was trying to ignore it, some girls would come near me and show off their presents like they were talking to their friends. And they still act like we're friends but are also mean to me at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, but I'm confused too. And the teachers are always yelling at me when the entire class is doing the same thing as me. And now we have holidays and I was so happy about it, but things at home are horrible too. My parents yell at me all the time and when my sister bought me a dress, they told me I didn't deserve it and I was wasting her money. It was kind of like a late birthday present from her, and somehow my parents and I started fighting about my birthday and I was really angry because my parents didn't even remember it. No one wished me the entire day. When I told this to my parents, they said "Oh, so we have to wish our KIDS now?" WHAT THE FUCK? They seriously consider it beneath their dignity to wish their child on her birthday. And they do this everyday, from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep, they find something to yell about and then my mom starts crying like its all my fault. But I cry every minute because of them. And the people at my school. NO ONE CARES. I thought I would finally get some friends, and maybe a boyfriend. WOW. Now I feel like I don't even DESERVE one friend. I probably don't deserve a life. I feel like killing myself, my life is pretty much like hell. Is there something I can do to change this? Or should I just give up, 'cause my grades have been falling, I'm really not pretty and everyone laughs when I tell them I want to be a famous singer when I grow up. Help please?

Hi. The way you speak is just fine so don't need to apologise for that.

I was reading what you wrote and thought it all sounded all too familiar and then when you said you're from India it all made sense. I am asian so I know how it is with asian families and how they can be sometimes.

Firstly with school... don't let these people get to you. You're obviously smart because you know that's what they are trying to do and to be honest it's some really sad and pathetic people that go out their way in doing something like that just to make you jealous. Rise above hate (and their stupidity) and don't let it get to you. You said you were doing great in your grades so what you need to do is concentrate on that at school. Ignore the poser students and the teachers that yell at you (don't give them any reason to and you'll be okay) but concentrate on making something of yourself. If not for yourself then I found revenge and the ability to later in life be able to say, "I made something of myself while you are all scum and losers!" is a great motivation in wanting to succeed. It worked for me.

Sometimes family can be a pain and believe me I know all about that because it is sometimes the same with my family. I get endless crap I have to put up with from them but I ignore it and just get on with things as best I can and all I can suggest is you also try and do the same. Don't give up on yourself and certainly don't think you don't deserve to live or anything. If you want to start fresh next year then make it happen! Bring your grades up and start making the changes you need to make to better yourself. Also I doubt you are bad as you think you are since we always think we all look bad or need to lose weight and stuff so again, don't be so hard on yourself. Being able to escape from reality helps everyone now and again and isn't all that bad but sometimes you do have to come back to reality and handle your business so read manga but know that if you want to make next year better for yourself you will need to actually do it yourself since nothing ever changes if all you do is hope that it will.

Good luck and don't give up.

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Me and this guy have just started talking for like 3 months or so, but just recently weve gotton very close to one another. hes really sweet,he does basically everything a gentleman would do, he was never inappropriate and never crossed his limits.
now the thing is, he just broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago, and i just broke up with my ex boyfriend 5 months ago, we were both really heartbroken, we knew eachother back then but never payed much attention to eachother.I hear stuff about him from his best friend, typical guy things.. i heard he was like kind of over the top in his last relationship (controlling) but then when i come to talk to him, he talks to me about how much hes changed, and learned from alot of mistakes, ive heard things like him making out with this girl , or him flirting with this girl, so i dont really trust him that much.. now you see the thing is that, if were at the movies or in a cafe, hell start teasing me and like poking me , and id poke him back then hed hold my finger, then my other one, then my whole hand, and like intermingle our fingers together, and like the way he does it is SO affectionate, ever since we started talking i havent heard anything about him doing stuff with other girls, but i cant really know if it does or not cause i have no way of finding out. I dont know if hes playing around cause hes bored, or maybe he likes me and is on the rebound.. i dont know if i like him but all i know is that hes an amazing distraction and i think i may be falling for him, its a possibility. But how do i know the difference between him playing with me, or him liking me? if he was playing with me hed go farther, and he never did, i think holding hands is way more passion and affection. but i dont know if i should continue talking to him or not.. i tried moving my hands plenty of times but he just keeps trying (not forceful, but being sneaky about it) hes really nice and never did anything wrong to me,so i dont know if i should beleive what i hear or go with the flow. The way he tries to hold my hand, and like rubs my hands with passion is really cute and i dont really want to lose that.. so what do i do? :/ Im a girl, im 17 and hes 18 , thank youu.

When someone is controlling in their relationship they very rarely ever see it as it being something that was a mistake on their part. To most people like that, it's justified, reasonable and sometimes, their right. None of it's true but in their minds they are not doing anything wrong and he said he's learnt some things etc but this doesn't mean he learnt what he was supposed to (i.e. you can't treat a girlfriend like you own them). Also, bare in mind that most people who are controlling in this way will not show this side of them until much further in a relationship. Before this, it all comes down to courting and impressing and this may well be what he is doing at the moment - trying to be the perfect gentleman.

You said you don't trust him so you obviously get some kind of bad vibe from him so for the most part I would say go with your instincts and be cautious. Obviously if you want to see where and how this goes then go for it but just keep your wits about you in the process. As for the rebound thing, the best way around that is to simply take things slow and not let him change that pace. Take it slow and eventually and hopefully you may see what his intentions are and also discover your own too because you have to bare in mind that you also came out of a relationship so you may well also be vulnerable and just looking for that someone to cling and hold on to for support.

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A little over 2 years ago, my husband and I separated. I took our daughter and lived with her for a year. And trying to be a good parent *she wanted to see her father for the summer* I didn't wish to deny her this. She was at the time only 5 years old. I allowed her to visit with him for the summer, and when the time came for her to come back, he said he wasn't going to bring her back, that I'm never going to see her again and refused to let me speak with her. I believe he is trying to get back at me for leaving him. I have tried to go through a lawyer, but I did not have the funds to pay for it, and with todays economy, it is very difficult to find a job to pay for a lawyer. So I went through a pro bono service, where for people who do not have much income, they do it as it sounds.. Pro bono (aka free), and whenever I contact them, they never get back to me.
I have tried contacting him for about 1 year and 6 months, he has since then changed his phone number, moved somewhere else, and as I've seen gotten different IM S/N's, Emails, and social networking accounts. Any emails I send him go unanswered, any letters I mail go unread and returned, any calls I had made previously went unanswered then eventually to someone I did not know. Pro-Bono (the name of the company that helps with divorces) is taking WAY to long to do anything, and I guess considering it is a free service, that they will take their precious time, but I am beginning to lose myself. I am constantly applying to jobs, trying to find some source of income so I can pay for a real lawyer, but to no avail. I have gone to the police but I get the same answers each time (You are separated so you both have equal legal custody, we can't do anything about it blah blah, go to a lawyer) I was wondering if there was any other services or something I can do to get this taken care of more quickly. I miss my daughter so much that it's beginning to effect my mental state. *Before separating from my husband, I was suffering severe depression due to his abusive nature* After having left him, and having it be me and my daughter, I have gotten better, but after him taking her, I have slowly begun to deteriorate. Another question, is this considered kidnapping? Even though I had given him permission, he was to return her before the beginning of the school year, and as previously stated, he did not. Some advice and help is more than appreciated and I would be more than grateful. Right now, I'm not above anything to beg for help. I desperately want my daughter back, I went through the pain of carrying her and having her, and to me, it is not right to deprive a mother of her child.

I'm not sure if it would be classed as kidnapping but I think you should go back to the police and explain to them one more time about what is going on and that he has not returned with your daughter when he should have and see if they'll then do something about it. I find it hard to believe that they would not even look into the matter if even only to track him down to get his side of the story and to make sure that your daughter is okay.

If this fails then you may just need to hold on until you get a steady income coming in to pay for a lawyer who will be able to speed the process up. Another option you may want to consider is trying a different company that can offer you the same service for free but who are a little more reliable. Unfortunately I cannot make any other suggestions here because I have no idea where you are from and if from abroad I have no idea how things work where you are from a legal perspective.

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em, well me and my boyfriend are starting to do stuff now, but when he fingers me he never quite gets me 'there'! then i thought it was me so when i was masturbating, i wasnt able to get there eitherm i was wondering is there any tips how to get 'there' or do i just need to go for longer?

What works for one person doesn't always work for someone else. If you find him fingering you doesn't quite get you there tell him what else you'd like him to do that might help. For example instead of fingering you perhaps stimulating your clit instead may help more instead? Whatever you find helps (experiment) you can ask him to do because until you ask/tell him he will assume what he is doing is working and will not know any better so communication between you both is very important. Also don't forget that there are many other things that could help such as stimulating your nipples or even caressing/touching other parts of your body which are sensitive just to you (for example one of my ex's absolutely loved being kissed/bitten on the neck). It could be just something like this that he could do that could make a big difference in getting you there.

Also, bare in mind that if all you concentrate at the time about is 'getting there' then that may not help as well. You need to feel relaxed and enjoy the moment instead of worrying about whether or not you will get there so try not to worry about something like that at the time and as I said, experiment and see what works for you because different things work for different people.

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Whenever i'm on a diet i break it at one point of the day, like when i get home from school i can't keep myself from going to the fridge. I'll go on a diet for 4 days, eat healthy and everything then the next day I ruin it. I do also have healthy food in my house but my parents buy junk food for everyone in the house because they arent on a diet. I exercise and if I try to eat a little piece of something sweet instead of the whole thing i'll end up eating the whole thing

and whenever i eat a bit of something i end up eating loads of it until i feel guilty
how can i stop craving food so much?
are there any foods that can help?

Firstly speak to your parents and let them know you are on a diet and not to buy you any junk food or sweet foods - that way they will not help you break your diet by buying a lot of junk food that's there to tempt you. Ask them instead to buy you some sweet fruits instead - strawberries, grapes, watermelon etc. All these things taste great and will help when you suddenly get the urge for something sweet. As for over-eating when you try to eat a little of something sweet, this is all down to self-control and this is something only you can overcome yourself. I broke my diet a number of times as well but this does happen so don't let it bring you down too much, just try cut down on getting tempted. The fact that my whole family knows I'm on a healthy eating trek and I'm cutting out eating unhealthy means there's not too much junk food around for me to get tempted by and even when there is I'm usually too distracted by other things to pay much attention to needing something sweet or to spoil myself with junk food.

Get lots of fruits and even some salads which you like and use them when you crave some food. If you crave something sweet, as I said above, try some fruits of some kind instead or a yogurt that's low fat. Another way that might help is to make a schedule of times to eat something sweet (fruits for example) in between your main meals where you have to wait a significant time before you eat again. So if you have to wait 6 hours between breakfast and lunch for example - have a pear and a handful of grapes 3 hours after breakfast or a piece of fruit with some fruit juice. This will help you get by until your next meal time and hopefully prevent you getting hungry and craving anything else.

It does all come down to will power though. Some can stop out right (I did when I started my diet and it wasn't easy at all but I stopped alcohol, all fizzy drinks, all takeaways, fried food, chocolate, sugar - everything) but with some people it does take time so don't give up.

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i had a question about someone i loved and i got answered. but now i realize she doesn't love me.. but i still love her. and i feel this strange inside. all i want to do is listen so sad music, think about her, and write her poems (i made 5 in 5 minutes wtf) but i just don't know what i should do.. i don't want to move on yet I'm not ready to give up... i don't know what i should do...

I'm in the same boat as you only with me it's my ex gf - difference is she does love me just we can't be together because in her own words 'love isn't enough'. Yet she still wants to be friends and somehow expects me to just ignore how I feel.
You can't force yourself to stop loving someone but in that same way you can't force someone to love you back. All you can do is give yourself time and rest assured in time you will move on and find someone else to love no matter how hard you feel it is right now to do that. Just give yourself time to get over this. I don't want to give up either but the more I tell myself I can't give up the more I realise she's already given up and there's nothing I can say or do to change that.

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i have a friend in another town, and i really cherished her as a friend because she didn't know anyone from my school and i could always say whatever i wanted and not have to worry about her biased opinion.

however, for the last few months, one of my good guyfriends (who used to have a crush on me) got really close with her and would often ask her for advice regarding his situation with me. even after he stopped liking me, he continued talking to her very, very frequently.

i am not jealous that he talks to her so much, but it really bothers me how close they are. my guyfriend often says things like, "oh yeah ______ is doing this" and i'll think, i don't remember her telling me that. why is she not telling ME?!

i have tried talking to my female friend about it, and she admitted that she felt awkward about the whole situation (there was a time period that he got a girlfriend and i stopped talking to him cause i thought he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and even through that, my friend and my guyfriend continued to stay close), but she won't stop being so close.

i hate controlling her friends; that is not my intention. i just wish she wasn't so close with him because it's very awkward for me, especially, since i really cherished her as a friend BECAUSE of the fact that she was not friends with him.

i don't want to be a bitch about it. and how am i supposed to go about solving this situation? it would come off as, "stop talking to him." i know that is, initially, what i want, but i don't want to do that to her because she does like him as a friend.

do you think i should try talking to her again or just try to forget about the whole situation? do you understand my dilemma? any suggestions?

i really really really like both as friends, just. not together. i know that some people might say "well it's better than having them both hate each other!" but i'd actually prefer that.

I can actually understand where you're coming from on this. It's why on myspace and facebook and such I mostly only have my online friends added and not friends I know locally or am around all the time (they've tried to add me and such but I have denied all requests). Simply because this way I don't mix my online friends with my friends I have over here. I've a lot of reasons for this but it does just make it a lot easier for me this way and is a lot less hassle.

With your situation it seems there's not really all that much you can do other than just tell your female friend that you'd appreciate her not telling this guy friend anything about you that doesn't concern him (if he is indeed still asking her advice on you). Other than that though given how far their relationship as friends has gone there may not be anything you can do now other than bare it out. The only alternative is to tell her you don't want her talking to him but that may well just make things worse especially if she considers him a friend.

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