about

Hi everyone. I had been away for a VERY long time due to various reasons (becoming a student being one of them) but here I am - back again.

"Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains..." -Poison, Every Rose Has It's Thorn.




My names Ammo and I'm here to give any help or advice on anything that I can. :] Firstly, if you were kind enough to come here and read up on me, I thank you.

I've been through a lot when it comes to relationships and life in general. I've seen and heard many things and have always felt it's nice to be able to share my experiences (both good and bad ones) with as many people as I can in the hopes that I can help others not make the mistakes I've made (and sometimes still make). Who knows, maybe there's a lesson or two I can learn from you as well. There's a lot more about me on my main web site so feel free to check that out, I don't bite - honest (even though it may look that way from my web site). 0:)
I don't mind Emails from people and also don't mind anyone adding me to chat but if you add me to anything please leave me a message to let me know where you have added me so I can keep an eye out for you. If you want to know something about me which isn't on my web site then by all means feel free to drop me a message. I love gettng to know new people (regardless age, sex, religion or colour) so don't mind people randomly messaging me. ^_^

advice

Hey, before I start, I just want to say that this might be long, so please try to read the entire thing :) Ok, so I'm 15 years old and I feel like my life is broken beyond repair. I'm really not exaggerating. At school everyone's started hating me. Even the teachers. I really don't know what I did, I try my best to be nice to all of them. My classmates go out of the way to make me feel hurt. It was time for Christmas and just before our term break, everyone in my class made plans to buy each other presents and purposely ignored me. Well, I acted like I didn't care because I knew they were trying to hurt me but on the last day of the term, they exchanged presents in class in front of me, the only one left out. Maybe its because I'm not as rich as them (yes, they look down on me for that too), but when I looked happy because I was trying to ignore it, some girls would come near me and show off their presents like they were talking to their friends. And they still act like we're friends but are also mean to me at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, but I'm confused too. And the teachers are always yelling at me when the entire class is doing the same thing as me. And now we have holidays and I was so happy about it, but things at home are horrible too. My parents yell at me all the time and when my sister bought me a dress, they told me I didn't deserve it and I was wasting her money. It was kind of like a late birthday present from her, and somehow my parents and I started fighting about my birthday and I was really angry because my parents didn't even remember it. No one wished me the entire day. When I told this to my parents, they said "Oh, so we have to wish our KIDS now?" WHAT THE FUCK? They seriously consider it beneath their dignity to wish their child on her birthday. And they do this everyday, from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep, they find something to yell about and then my mom starts crying like its all my fault. But I cry every minute because of them. And the people at my school. NO ONE CARES. I thought I would finally get some friends, and maybe a boyfriend. WOW. Now I feel like I don't even DESERVE one friend. I probably don't deserve a life. I feel like killing myself, my life is pretty much like hell. Is there something I can do to change this? Or should I just give up, 'cause my grades have been falling, I'm really not pretty and everyone laughs when I tell them I want to be a famous singer when I grow up. Help please?

Hi. The way you speak is just fine so don't need to apologise for that.

I was reading what you wrote and thought it all sounded all too familiar and then when you said you're from India it all made sense. I am asian so I know how it is with asian families and how they can be sometimes.

Firstly with school... don't let these people get to you. You're obviously smart because you know that's what they are trying to do and to be honest it's some really sad and pathetic people that go out their way in doing something like that just to make you jealous. Rise above hate (and their stupidity) and don't let it get to you. You said you were doing great in your grades so what you need to do is concentrate on that at school. Ignore the poser students and the teachers that yell at you (don't give them any reason to and you'll be okay) but concentrate on making something of yourself. If not for yourself then I found revenge and the ability to later in life be able to say, "I made something of myself while you are all scum and losers!" is a great motivation in wanting to succeed. It worked for me.

Sometimes family can be a pain and believe me I know all about that because it is sometimes the same with my family. I get endless crap I have to put up with from them but I ignore it and just get on with things as best I can and all I can suggest is you also try and do the same. Don't give up on yourself and certainly don't think you don't deserve to live or anything. If you want to start fresh next year then make it happen! Bring your grades up and start making the changes you need to make to better yourself. Also I doubt you are bad as you think you are since we always think we all look bad or need to lose weight and stuff so again, don't be so hard on yourself. Being able to escape from reality helps everyone now and again and isn't all that bad but sometimes you do have to come back to reality and handle your business so read manga but know that if you want to make next year better for yourself you will need to actually do it yourself since nothing ever changes if all you do is hope that it will.

Good luck and don't give up.

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Me and this guy have just started talking for like 3 months or so, but just recently weve gotton very close to one another. hes really sweet,he does basically everything a gentleman would do, he was never inappropriate and never crossed his limits.
now the thing is, he just broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago, and i just broke up with my ex boyfriend 5 months ago, we were both really heartbroken, we knew eachother back then but never payed much attention to eachother.I hear stuff about him from his best friend, typical guy things.. i heard he was like kind of over the top in his last relationship (controlling) but then when i come to talk to him, he talks to me about how much hes changed, and learned from alot of mistakes, ive heard things like him making out with this girl , or him flirting with this girl, so i dont really trust him that much.. now you see the thing is that, if were at the movies or in a cafe, hell start teasing me and like poking me , and id poke him back then hed hold my finger, then my other one, then my whole hand, and like intermingle our fingers together, and like the way he does it is SO affectionate, ever since we started talking i havent heard anything about him doing stuff with other girls, but i cant really know if it does or not cause i have no way of finding out. I dont know if hes playing around cause hes bored, or maybe he likes me and is on the rebound.. i dont know if i like him but all i know is that hes an amazing distraction and i think i may be falling for him, its a possibility. But how do i know the difference between him playing with me, or him liking me? if he was playing with me hed go farther, and he never did, i think holding hands is way more passion and affection. but i dont know if i should continue talking to him or not.. i tried moving my hands plenty of times but he just keeps trying (not forceful, but being sneaky about it) hes really nice and never did anything wrong to me,so i dont know if i should beleive what i hear or go with the flow. The way he tries to hold my hand, and like rubs my hands with passion is really cute and i dont really want to lose that.. so what do i do? :/ Im a girl, im 17 and hes 18 , thank youu.

When someone is controlling in their relationship they very rarely ever see it as it being something that was a mistake on their part. To most people like that, it's justified, reasonable and sometimes, their right. None of it's true but in their minds they are not doing anything wrong and he said he's learnt some things etc but this doesn't mean he learnt what he was supposed to (i.e. you can't treat a girlfriend like you own them). Also, bare in mind that most people who are controlling in this way will not show this side of them until much further in a relationship. Before this, it all comes down to courting and impressing and this may well be what he is doing at the moment - trying to be the perfect gentleman.

You said you don't trust him so you obviously get some kind of bad vibe from him so for the most part I would say go with your instincts and be cautious. Obviously if you want to see where and how this goes then go for it but just keep your wits about you in the process. As for the rebound thing, the best way around that is to simply take things slow and not let him change that pace. Take it slow and eventually and hopefully you may see what his intentions are and also discover your own too because you have to bare in mind that you also came out of a relationship so you may well also be vulnerable and just looking for that someone to cling and hold on to for support.

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A little over 2 years ago, my husband and I separated. I took our daughter and lived with her for a year. And trying to be a good parent *she wanted to see her father for the summer* I didn't wish to deny her this. She was at the time only 5 years old. I allowed her to visit with him for the summer, and when the time came for her to come back, he said he wasn't going to bring her back, that I'm never going to see her again and refused to let me speak with her. I believe he is trying to get back at me for leaving him. I have tried to go through a lawyer, but I did not have the funds to pay for it, and with todays economy, it is very difficult to find a job to pay for a lawyer. So I went through a pro bono service, where for people who do not have much income, they do it as it sounds.. Pro bono (aka free), and whenever I contact them, they never get back to me.
I have tried contacting him for about 1 year and 6 months, he has since then changed his phone number, moved somewhere else, and as I've seen gotten different IM S/N's, Emails, and social networking accounts. Any emails I send him go unanswered, any letters I mail go unread and returned, any calls I had made previously went unanswered then eventually to someone I did not know. Pro-Bono (the name of the company that helps with divorces) is taking WAY to long to do anything, and I guess considering it is a free service, that they will take their precious time, but I am beginning to lose myself. I am constantly applying to jobs, trying to find some source of income so I can pay for a real lawyer, but to no avail. I have gone to the police but I get the same answers each time (You are separated so you both have equal legal custody, we can't do anything about it blah blah, go to a lawyer) I was wondering if there was any other services or something I can do to get this taken care of more quickly. I miss my daughter so much that it's beginning to effect my mental state. *Before separating from my husband, I was suffering severe depression due to his abusive nature* After having left him, and having it be me and my daughter, I have gotten better, but after him taking her, I have slowly begun to deteriorate. Another question, is this considered kidnapping? Even though I had given him permission, he was to return her before the beginning of the school year, and as previously stated, he did not. Some advice and help is more than appreciated and I would be more than grateful. Right now, I'm not above anything to beg for help. I desperately want my daughter back, I went through the pain of carrying her and having her, and to me, it is not right to deprive a mother of her child.

I'm not sure if it would be classed as kidnapping but I think you should go back to the police and explain to them one more time about what is going on and that he has not returned with your daughter when he should have and see if they'll then do something about it. I find it hard to believe that they would not even look into the matter if even only to track him down to get his side of the story and to make sure that your daughter is okay.

If this fails then you may just need to hold on until you get a steady income coming in to pay for a lawyer who will be able to speed the process up. Another option you may want to consider is trying a different company that can offer you the same service for free but who are a little more reliable. Unfortunately I cannot make any other suggestions here because I have no idea where you are from and if from abroad I have no idea how things work where you are from a legal perspective.

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em, well me and my boyfriend are starting to do stuff now, but when he fingers me he never quite gets me 'there'! then i thought it was me so when i was masturbating, i wasnt able to get there eitherm i was wondering is there any tips how to get 'there' or do i just need to go for longer?

What works for one person doesn't always work for someone else. If you find him fingering you doesn't quite get you there tell him what else you'd like him to do that might help. For example instead of fingering you perhaps stimulating your clit instead may help more instead? Whatever you find helps (experiment) you can ask him to do because until you ask/tell him he will assume what he is doing is working and will not know any better so communication between you both is very important. Also don't forget that there are many other things that could help such as stimulating your nipples or even caressing/touching other parts of your body which are sensitive just to you (for example one of my ex's absolutely loved being kissed/bitten on the neck). It could be just something like this that he could do that could make a big difference in getting you there.

Also, bare in mind that if all you concentrate at the time about is 'getting there' then that may not help as well. You need to feel relaxed and enjoy the moment instead of worrying about whether or not you will get there so try not to worry about something like that at the time and as I said, experiment and see what works for you because different things work for different people.

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Whenever i'm on a diet i break it at one point of the day, like when i get home from school i can't keep myself from going to the fridge. I'll go on a diet for 4 days, eat healthy and everything then the next day I ruin it. I do also have healthy food in my house but my parents buy junk food for everyone in the house because they arent on a diet. I exercise and if I try to eat a little piece of something sweet instead of the whole thing i'll end up eating the whole thing

and whenever i eat a bit of something i end up eating loads of it until i feel guilty
how can i stop craving food so much?
are there any foods that can help?

Firstly speak to your parents and let them know you are on a diet and not to buy you any junk food or sweet foods - that way they will not help you break your diet by buying a lot of junk food that's there to tempt you. Ask them instead to buy you some sweet fruits instead - strawberries, grapes, watermelon etc. All these things taste great and will help when you suddenly get the urge for something sweet. As for over-eating when you try to eat a little of something sweet, this is all down to self-control and this is something only you can overcome yourself. I broke my diet a number of times as well but this does happen so don't let it bring you down too much, just try cut down on getting tempted. The fact that my whole family knows I'm on a healthy eating trek and I'm cutting out eating unhealthy means there's not too much junk food around for me to get tempted by and even when there is I'm usually too distracted by other things to pay much attention to needing something sweet or to spoil myself with junk food.

Get lots of fruits and even some salads which you like and use them when you crave some food. If you crave something sweet, as I said above, try some fruits of some kind instead or a yogurt that's low fat. Another way that might help is to make a schedule of times to eat something sweet (fruits for example) in between your main meals where you have to wait a significant time before you eat again. So if you have to wait 6 hours between breakfast and lunch for example - have a pear and a handful of grapes 3 hours after breakfast or a piece of fruit with some fruit juice. This will help you get by until your next meal time and hopefully prevent you getting hungry and craving anything else.

It does all come down to will power though. Some can stop out right (I did when I started my diet and it wasn't easy at all but I stopped alcohol, all fizzy drinks, all takeaways, fried food, chocolate, sugar - everything) but with some people it does take time so don't give up.

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i had a question about someone i loved and i got answered. but now i realize she doesn't love me.. but i still love her. and i feel this strange inside. all i want to do is listen so sad music, think about her, and write her poems (i made 5 in 5 minutes wtf) but i just don't know what i should do.. i don't want to move on yet I'm not ready to give up... i don't know what i should do...

I'm in the same boat as you only with me it's my ex gf - difference is she does love me just we can't be together because in her own words 'love isn't enough'. Yet she still wants to be friends and somehow expects me to just ignore how I feel.
You can't force yourself to stop loving someone but in that same way you can't force someone to love you back. All you can do is give yourself time and rest assured in time you will move on and find someone else to love no matter how hard you feel it is right now to do that. Just give yourself time to get over this. I don't want to give up either but the more I tell myself I can't give up the more I realise she's already given up and there's nothing I can say or do to change that.

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i have a friend in another town, and i really cherished her as a friend because she didn't know anyone from my school and i could always say whatever i wanted and not have to worry about her biased opinion.

however, for the last few months, one of my good guyfriends (who used to have a crush on me) got really close with her and would often ask her for advice regarding his situation with me. even after he stopped liking me, he continued talking to her very, very frequently.

i am not jealous that he talks to her so much, but it really bothers me how close they are. my guyfriend often says things like, "oh yeah ______ is doing this" and i'll think, i don't remember her telling me that. why is she not telling ME?!

i have tried talking to my female friend about it, and she admitted that she felt awkward about the whole situation (there was a time period that he got a girlfriend and i stopped talking to him cause i thought he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and even through that, my friend and my guyfriend continued to stay close), but she won't stop being so close.

i hate controlling her friends; that is not my intention. i just wish she wasn't so close with him because it's very awkward for me, especially, since i really cherished her as a friend BECAUSE of the fact that she was not friends with him.

i don't want to be a bitch about it. and how am i supposed to go about solving this situation? it would come off as, "stop talking to him." i know that is, initially, what i want, but i don't want to do that to her because she does like him as a friend.

do you think i should try talking to her again or just try to forget about the whole situation? do you understand my dilemma? any suggestions?

i really really really like both as friends, just. not together. i know that some people might say "well it's better than having them both hate each other!" but i'd actually prefer that.

I can actually understand where you're coming from on this. It's why on myspace and facebook and such I mostly only have my online friends added and not friends I know locally or am around all the time (they've tried to add me and such but I have denied all requests). Simply because this way I don't mix my online friends with my friends I have over here. I've a lot of reasons for this but it does just make it a lot easier for me this way and is a lot less hassle.

With your situation it seems there's not really all that much you can do other than just tell your female friend that you'd appreciate her not telling this guy friend anything about you that doesn't concern him (if he is indeed still asking her advice on you). Other than that though given how far their relationship as friends has gone there may not be anything you can do now other than bare it out. The only alternative is to tell her you don't want her talking to him but that may well just make things worse especially if she considers him a friend.

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http://bp0.blogger.com/_F5XU-nWGb7g/SE8tSjjNcWI/AAAAAAAAAEE/AG3E8Kx14KU/s400/Picture+6.png


where can i get those jackets? are they even called jackets?

It is a jacket but I've been unable to find the exact same one available to buy (unless you try somewhere like ebay).

However there is a similar one (very similar) available at the following web site along with a lot of other items:

http://store.invisiblestripes.com/

Hope that's some help.

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i dont know if this is weird but i love talking to random people. not like, aol chat rooms where you talk for 2 seconds and then someone ims you wanting sex from you but just casual conversation. are there any websites that are safe and let you talk to people your age (16-18years old)??

p.s. i really love talking to foreign people. like from england, ireland or france (i speak some french)

Hi.
I'm a lot like yourself, and also love talking to new and random people, especially those who are from abroad (I'm in England myself).
There are a number of chat rooms and social network web sites which you can join (bebo, myspace, netlog etc) but when it comes to finding a place that's safe and that part could very well be a problem. If you're strong willed and can take some crap from people and know where to draw the line then you should be safe enough from perverts and annoying 'go on cam and strip' and 'send me pictures' people on them. There may be places who offer chat rooms where they are moderated which may also be safe to use (but being harassed by IMs can still be a problem.
Most social network web sites include filters where you can block certain age groups accessing your profile or contacting you and block annoying people which is always a handy thing to know if you're afraid of strange people contacting you.
Be aware though that all this only helps to a certain degree since many people have the tendency to make fake profiles (having studied netlog in particular a fair bit - it happens a lot over there).

Searching for penpal sites in google may give you some results as well.

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do guys know when a girl is a newbie at sex?
ive only had sex once, which was about 2 years ago. and i made a complete idiot out of myself. he told me to get on top, so i did, and i kind of just sat there...i didnt know i had to move around. anyway, it was just embarrassing. so i think thats the reason why i havent had sex again. [ive gotten plently of offers]
i know 'practice makes perfect', but i dont want the second guy im with to know i havent done this in a long time, and that i prolly suck hardcore at it.
hellppp

No one is an instant expert at sex - EVERYONE had to start at the beginning so don't think you're the only one or you made yourself look stupid. Believe me when I tell you whoever you were with probably made themselves look an idiot too at some point. More to the point though don't feel you made yourself look stupid because when it comes to sex everyone is different (I speak from experience). The key to it is commuinication. Both have to know what the other likes and doesn't like and if you're not sure about something don't be afraid to say so. It's not a bad thing to admit you don't know or anything like that. IF the person you're with is going to laugh about it or say your an idiot then clearly you're with a dumbass so kick his ass outta bed and find someone better.

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Well Me and my boyfriend have been dating now for a year & a month. There isint any reason why i shouldnt trust him , but there is a reason why he should'nt me but he does anyways because he says it just makes him feel better and is alot easier to just trust because he would be miserable thinking " what if she's doing this , or what if she's talking to that boy ". Its so hard for me to see him even talking to another girl ; he says he doesnt know how much he can take and im really trying to change its just hard :( Like his friends always go off with my two best friends like to the movies and stuff and [ sometimes ] i cant go with them and his friends want him to go but he always says no because he doesnt want to make me mad & he says he is tired of doing that now & i need to trust him , i mean i know my two best friends would never try anything on his , its just they are both find of the flirting type with out even knowing it. And not being there would just KILL ME , for real ! Just thinking about him actually going with out me hurts but i know he is tired of not having fun just because i cant . He doesnt care if i go with his friends because he trust all of us & i have been to the movies with my friends and his friends with out my boyfriend but that was only because i have no choice , please help .

-Dont sit here and tell me there isint a reason why i shouldnt trust , actually give me ways to learn to trust . Thanks :)

Trust is something that comes with time but being together so long you both still have clear issues with trust.

You both need to sit down and actually talk things out to get to the bottom of this issue because it can be the kind of thing that will cause the relationship to come under a lot of stress - which is clearly what is already happening. First things first you both need to decide where you both stand when it comes to trust. Do you trust each other or not. If you don't then you both have a major problem. If you do then you both need to realise you do have lives away from each other as well. You both have your own friends to hang out with and do stuff with- you cant constantly be around and with each other all the time, you'd only end up driving each other crazy. Both of you will always have some people trying things on regardless - the trust comes from where you both are able to say no thank you I'm happily taken and not let anything happen. Trying to force yourself to trust will not always work either because at the back of your mind your fears will always be there growing until the very smallest things will spark off doubts. You both need to sit down and talk things through.

Sorry I couldnt be much more help than this.

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OMG!!!!! am like DYing[SEriously}! okya my question is:
Whata' is a Heating PAd.... were can i get one?! PLease i really need one!!!!!!!

Heating pads (if these are the ones you are referring to) are pads that look like a thick piece of bandage (hence being called a pad). When applied and used it will emit heat and is very useful on muscle pains where a gentle heat can help the healing process.

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okaaay so heres the story, me and my bf had reggg sex, then anal, then reg sex again in the same daaaay. welll he wore a condom and he sai dhe checked it and it didnt breaaak, but when we were having anal i felt really light headed and dizzzzzy after he stuck it in. then the following weeek my stomache was acting up so i got really sacared and took to pregnancy tests and both came out negaaative..but its been two weeks now and my stomache is really like feels like its pushed out or i get sharp pains in itttt and right under my breast bone? i dont get my period im irregualr ive only gotten it twice in my lifeee and the last time i did was last summmer..i dont get morning sicknesss or anything like that. am i paranoid or could i be pregant? im going to the doctor on monday..do you they do prenancy testing? sorry this is soo lengthy..14/f

Hello.

At a guess the stomach pains could be nothing more than just the after effects of anal (I'm guessing it was the first time you had both tried it).

However, that said I am at a loss to explain the pains right under your breast bone. So the best thing to do would be to consult with your doctor to make sure everything is okay and there's been no damage from the anal sex you had taken part in. I'm not sure if your doctor will conduct the test himself or not but more than likely he will refer you to someone else who will conduct the tests - I am actually uncertain on this but your doctor will certainly be able to help.

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Okay, me & this guy have been friends for a while. Around the end of April we started talking I guess, but we weren't dating or anything. I ended up falling for him pretty hard & I guess I can say I'm in love with him. We were talking until the end of September. He left for basic training then, but last week he sent me a letter. Here's parts of it:

"Hey, I got your letter and your pretty pictures. Thanks. I really like them... You don't have to spend every waking day of Christmas week with me, but I do want to see you. Don't take that the wrong way either because I really don't care if you were at my house everyday I'm home. That would actually be cool, I want you there. I just don't want you to get tired of me. I don't know why you would, you haven't seen me in a while and you said it yourself you miss me. I miss you too though so its okay. One more thing, you can think I was trying to be funny when I said I luz ya, but I really do have love for you because I believe you would do anything you could do for me. I could always tell you had feelings for me and I'm sorry for always ignoring them. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that. I need to go now, write me back soon. Love you"

I'm not really sure what he's trying to say; if he's saying he likes me or what. It's hard to tell! But if anyone can help me out, I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks guys. :)

Hi.

From the sounds of it, it seems he realised only after he had left that he should have said somehting or done something about how he felt about you and how you felt about him because he knew you liked him.

However, playing devils advocate there is something he wrote in the letter which made me uneasy, "I believe you would do anything you could do for me..."

I'm not sure if that's simply him saying how much he thought you like/love him or if he's using reverse psychology to put into your head that you'd do anything for him ecause of how much you love him. The only reason this stood out so much is because it sounded like he was trying to convince you of this more than he was himself and with him coming back soon AND you visiting him soon at his... could it simply be a way for him to get into your head, have his fun with you while he's visiting and that's it? Would also fit, considering he only admits he knew you like dhim and how he regrets not doing something about it so close to coming back and seeing you again.

As I said I'm only playing devils advicate so I could very well be wrong.

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14/f
this year has been the worst/best year of my life.
its been the worst year of my life because my step dad went to jail got out was getting better from drugs, got his bond revoked.we got evicted.my (brothers dad considered my real dad)dad moved away.moved back.my brothers got something wrong with him (like adhd or something) i lost my job that i absolutely loved where i got to meet some of the best people you could ever meet. and then one of the guys who basicly became family died.:'(
all my mom & (not real dad)dads friends keep dying or getting sick.And my real dad keeps coming in and out of my life,now i havent talked to him in about 5 years. i was about one when he first left and ive only talked to him for about 2 years of my life. when i need him the most he isnt there but when i dont need him he shows up.

the best part of my life is my b/f.he has been amazing and hes the only reason i havent screwed my life up. (cutting,partying,smoking,etc.)
but lately ive been SO stressed thinking about it all,getting in some trouble at home and school,crying for no reason,starting fights and ending them because i dont want to fight anymore.

i want to relax so bad. but i dont know how.i try to stop thinking about it so i can relax but its always on my mind even when im trying to forget it, every little thing helps it come back too.

the only time i find myself not thinking about it is when im in my boyfriends arms and all i can think about is me & him.:'( and i know he is tired of hearing me cry and being upset. and i cant be in his arms and forget about it all, all the time.
What can i do to relax?
something to calm my nerves?
Something to make me not start fights between me and my boyfriend? I dont want to cry anymore. and i dont want him to hear me cry anymore. what should i do?
I dont think i can handle this all.im only fourteen.no one should have to go through this.and i know there are kids out there going through worse. its horrible.i hate it.

What should i do?
sorry this is so long. thanks in advance.
~*~Michelle~*~

Hi.

Like you said, there are people out there going through a lot worse but that said - it still doesn't make it okay that you are having to go through it.

Life can deal us some funny cards sometimes. I myself have had a very troubling year as well with a lot of tragedy in the family and can't wait to put the year past me.

It seems you have a lot going on in your life and it's starting to take its toll on you stress wise which in itself is never a good thing. I think first and foremost you may want to consider counselling. Your school should have someone available who you can talk to (speak to one of your teachers who you feel you can talk to about it when you have a moment with her alone and ask about wanting to see the school counseller). They will be able to help you put in touch with the counseller (unless they have an in-school office in which case just go see them directly) and they will be able to listen to you and try to help you deal with all these things that are happening.

There are other ways you can also try to get rid of stress but this will depend on what you like doing. I found martial arts to help as well as meditation. You could read or better yet write - it gives you the chance to put your feelings to paper and express them. There's a many number of things that can help but I would strongly advise that you seek help from your school counseller first and foremost as they might be able to help you a lot more than you trying to deal with so much stress on your own.

Good luck and I'm sorry I couldn't give more details but I've to get to my class. :( I hope things will all work out for you sooner rather than later. Feel free to message should you need to talk though.

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I've known this guy in my school for awhile now. We're not really friends but we've been in classes and what not. I do not have feelings towards him at all, but there's a few things I noticed. During classes, he completely ignored me. Not saying I particulary noticed that, but we just didn't pay attention to each other. Randomly, this year especially [even though I noticed it a bit before], whenever I pass him in the hallway, there's always eye contact not on purpose. I don't mean to look his way but if I'm just looking around while I'm walking down the hall, I'll see him with other people & look at them too, but notice that I'll accidently look at him directly in the eye and he does it too. I'm not saying "Oh does he like me!" because like I said, I don't like him. I'm just curious why this is. Does anyone have any ideas/opinions on situations like these? I wouldn't have thought anything about it, but it's almost every day. For example, if I'm doing something & turn around & turn my head, I'm staring right at him & he sees me & then turns his head & keeps walking. It could just be coincidence & for no apparent reason, but it happened too many times. It's just weird & I was just wondering if anyone had any opinions on it. Thanks!

Hi.

It's hard to say what it could mean so it could be he finds you interesting or likes you (although ignoring you in class wouldn't seem right if that was the case) but then it could just be nothing but coincidence because if someone looks my way my initial reaction is to look back and look them in the eyes. This will generally cause people to look away (even I do). It could just be coincidence but on the other hand it could be any number of other things too.
Personally though I think it may just be down to coincidence - at least for now.

As for the title of this question which I found to be unrelated to the actual question, I don't hold looks in very high regard myself BUT saying that looks do play an important role. Unless you find someone attractive you wouldn't look at them let alone want to persue them to make something come of it. So looks become an important part unless you're involved with someone who you've never before actually seen. When someone had said beauty is in the eye of the beholder they were very right. Each individual has their own version and outlook on what 'beauty' means to them. Your definition of it might be completely different to mine so where you find one person very attractive I may not. Although many say looks mean nothing to them I find it hard to believe that someone can become involved in a relationship where they have no physical attraction to the person at all.

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I simply cannot trust my boyfriend. and now this friday i will not be in town and god only knows what he is going to do. he has a crush on his best girl friend and he says he doesnt. he has cheated on me already and lies. but i havent broken up with him. we have been together a year and we decided that we are going to start over and now the next couple of weeks i am not going to see him every second of everyday because i have other things i have to do. and i am afraid. afraid of being hurt my this man that i am in love with. he is going to hang out with his best girl friend without me, everyday. i dont know what to do. how do i get past this and not care so much about what he does? I JUST DO NOT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE, I DO NOT WANT TO CRY EVERYDAY BECAUSE I KNOW HE HAS OTHER THOUGHTS THAN ME. HOW DO I JUST LET WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS AND BE HAPPY IN THE MEAN TIME? in conclusion, how can i stop caring about someone i love?

First and foremost if you feel you have no trust in this relationship then I will be quite plain and straightforward in saying this is may well be a dead end relationship. When you lose trust in your partner it becomes close to impossible to be able to trust them fully again. Every moment they are not with you you'll find yourself wondering what they are doing or if they might be doing something behind your back. Then when they tell you what they were up to you begin to question their honestly becaue if they lied before how could everything they are saying not also be a lie?

Trying to ignore it will also not help you because you will always have it floating around in the back of your head driving you crazy and as i said before even if you ask him about it and he says nothing happened you will then start wondering if he could be lying about it.

As for stopping caring for someone you love - you can't. The only way I learned to was to give myself time to heal and get over it and move on. It took a long time too but I think I made it eventually. There's no switch you can throw to just turn your emotions off Im afraid. it doesn't work that way. :(

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okay so im on my second week of the second pack of ortho tryclen lo, and ive been having unprotected sex(but he pulls out) since the 11th day of the 1st pack, now i have two questions,once im done with the first pack, am i protected right away or do i have to wait 7 days again?, and my second question is, i want him to start "going" inside me, what is the chance of getting pregnant?

A couple of friends of mine have also had the same experience as babiigirl mentioned. No formof protection out there is 100% safe. The pill is obviously very reliable but willnot guarantee that you won't get pregnant.

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What would be the best method for piercing my own tongue web.
I know you're gonna say it's stupid and self piercing is bad.

I have quite a lot of experience in self piercing. I use gloves, make everything sterile and also use proper needles.

I haven't found much information about this piercing, but I love it.

I can't afford to go to a proper place, and I prefer self piercing.

Don't ''give advice'' if you're gonna say something like it's stupid!! Ewww Don't do it yourself.. etc.
Those don't answer my question.

I've also not been able to find much information regarding this piercing but judging on the location of where it is (and the risk if it's misplaced being dangerous to the sublingual salivatory glands) it seems it really wouldn't be very easy to do yourself.

If you are looking for reliable information and you just HAVE to do it yourself then I strongly suggest speaking to a professional piercer to get all the information you need from them as well as details on aftercare (considering where the piercing is located the aftercare involved would be a lot more complicated) and you need reliable and accurate details on this and not bits of information from questionable sources.

Let me be very clear here too... I'm NOT saying don't do it yourself because if you feel confident you can safely do it then by all means do so but since information is very limited on the net on this I just suggest speaking to a professional about the details you require or checking up on a reliable piercers web site.

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Hey!, I'm Ashley. I'm 16.
i've known my this boy Henry for almost three years. He is friends with some of my best guy friends. We flirted on and off for about two years but never went out because we hardly saw each other. This past summer Henry started hanging out with my neighbor and best friend Ryan who i've known my entire life. This put him closer and we saw each other more and more. Then he asked me out and we were dating for two and a half months. we recently took a break but now we both want to get back together but Ryan now likes me as more than a friend and is jealous of Henry. When ever he can he tries to separate us, and tells me lies about Henry. He advises me not to take him back. I only see Ryan as a friend so I don't have feelings for him but I don't want to lose him either. I feel that he will get very angry is Henry and I start up again as a couple. I don't know what to do.. advice please? :)

thanks so much-
Ashley

Hi Ashley.

I think to be totally honest in some ways you've already lost Ryan as a friend at least in the sense of what he was before because he is lying to you about things and such in the hopes you will now go out with him instead of get back together with Henry.

I think firstly you, and no-one, should have to choose between a friendship and the person they want to be with purely over jealousy - which is what this is. If you really do like Henry and want to get back together with him then i think you should do. At the end of the day if you don't just because you're afraid how Ryan will feel or react you are giving into his tantrum and in effect putting your own life on hold simply because he cannot accept the truth. You shouldn't have to do this especially since you only see him as a friend. Talk to him and tell him you only see him as a friend and nothing more. If you are going to get back with Henry then dont lie to him and then let him decide what he wants to do from there. It might just be it's painful for him to see you with Henry in which case just give him some time and he will soon get over it.

Under no circumstances though should you not do what you want to do simply because you don't want to make Ryan angry or mad at you. He is being manipulative by using his friendship with you to sway your decision on what to do when it comes to Henry (like him saying not to take him back). If Henry had treated you bad or just dumped you out the blue and such i can understand why he may not like you seeing him again but if none of this is the case then his opinions on what you should do are simply biased.

Good luck.

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