My father has never been around. Ever. So technically speaking, my mother would walk me down the aisle. Well I don't want her to. I want my "adoptive" mom to. And why I say adoptive in quotes is because she's not actually. She's my best friend, but I consider her my mom because that's what I see her as. It started when I was on the brink of death in 7th grade. (I was suicidal). I was completely alone with literally nothing to live for, but this girl in my English class, who I didn't even know. She saw and helped me. We've been together since and I love her more than anything because she is the very reason I'm here today, and I'd do anything for her. My actual mom emotionally neglected me and has failed to show me love, support, and acceptance since I was a child. So honestly, I don't want anything to do with her. I have an anxiety disorder and I just don't know how to tell her that "Hey you're not walking me down the aisle because you don't deserve that honor because you've never even taken the time to show me any sort of love or appreciation." Because I don't wanna be a complete dick about it y'know? Plus yelling and screaming sends me into a full blown panic attack so I don't want to be screamed at. What should I do? Should I not invite her altogether??
I have panic attacks as well, so I understand where you’re coming from. You should be honest with your mom and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t have her on your wedding day. It sounds like you two need closure. Talk to her. Not about the wedding, but about how you want the two of you to strengthen your bond with each other. To let her know about your “adoptive” mom walking you down the aisle, maybe text her or leave her a note. You could have a friend help you write it so you don’t offend her. There’s also the option of both of them walking you down if you want to take that route. Either way, it’s your wedding day. In the end, it needs to be a choice that you make. Just make sure it’s what you want to do. If you have your actual mom walk you down, but really wanted your best friend, you might regret it. Yet, If you have your best friend walking you down and know that you messed up things with your mom you might regret it. I don’t know you or your mom, so this varies among people. Listen to your gut and do what you feel is right. Just think rationally and make sure you do it in a way that keeps your relationships
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My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin?
I believe what you were doing is considered as just fooling around, not quite sex, but kinda around that area. I would say that if your cherry is the same as it was before the fingering and stuff, I think that still technically qualifies you as a virgin. if you've done the finger thing with a guy and he's caused your cherry to pop, I think that would qualify as a type of sex. If your cherry is still there and the same as it was, I think your still virgin.
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i am 13, and i live with my adoptive parents. my real mom had me at 16 and got me token away when i was very young. i have always said that i would not be a teen mom, that i would wait for after marriage. but yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. how do i tell my parents? and i will not get an abortion and i don't want to give my baby away. so how will i tell my mom( that is 6 months pregnant) and dad that their 13 year old daughter is pregnant and wants to keep her baby?
Wow, this situation must be very hard. If I understood right, you said your mom was 6 months pregnant. First, ask if she would ever consider an abortion or giving her baby away so she will understand how you feel when you drop the news on her. Then I would suggest saying that you got pregnant by accident and that it really wasn't planned on, but you feel you can handle the responsibility. That baby in your stomach is life. I gift from God, and I'm completely against abortion. That fetus isn't just some tissue, it's life. After 17 days in the stomach that baby gets its own heart beat. That proves right there that the baby is its own person. Not just something inside of you. Explain how you feel on the whole subject and tell them that your baby needs its mother and your willing to take the responsibility. Don't be afraid to also ask for help. If they are kind, understanding parents, then I'm sure they'll end up loving the baby just as much as you
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Hi I'm 16 and my boyfriend and I had sex unprotected 2 or 3 days before my period. Now I'm 8 days late and I'm really worried I might be pregnant. We had sex twice unprotected on the same day and in stressing myself out. I know stressing can cause a late period I just really don't know what to do. I'm scared to go to my mom:/
If your scared to go to your mom, then maybe go to someone else who has gotten pregnant from unprotected sex in the past. It's pretty common now a days so I'm sure you know someone. If it was unprotected, that could meant pregnacy, but don't stress too much bs uses right now I'm already two weeks late, and I'm actually ALWAYS late for my period because of my eating habits. Pay attention to how you eat. If you are one to not eat as much as me, then it could just be your eating habits. Talk to your boyfriend about it, but if you start having sife affects of pregnancy, then try to find someone you can talk to that can help
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22 year old girl.
Been in a relationship for the past 2 and a half years with a guy that is 24 and is great. Funny, intelligent, ambitious, and caring. And things were wonderful until I found out he was talking to another girl ..Texting, snap chatting, face times.. I talked him he apologized. He then went to the movies with a girl that he went to middle school with that he hadn't seen for years and used to crush on her to "catch up".. He then went out of the country and met up with the girl that he was constantly face timing and texting.. That bothered me... I started to get very fed up and stopped caring as much yet he still claims that they're both only his friends and that its all in my head... But my thing is if I were to be the one doing this, he wouldn't even be with me anymore. Fast-forward - I recently went out with a friend and met this one guy who is a cop. We kind of have the same history and let me tell you that every time I see this guy my heart starts racing.. I love talking to him and how much of a gentleman he is and I just feel so safe around him.. My feelings for my boyfriend are starting to fade and I just don't know what to do.. Advice greatly appreciated
Well, he could very well just be friends with her. Middle school was a long time ago for him, and to see someone from way back then, he probably does want to just catch up. To be honest, I would do the same. I'm sure right now with you meeting this cop that you like, and your feelings for your current boyfriend starting to fade, you are probably confused to know if this is just a simple crush or if you really like him, and may be just wondering how to break up with your boyfriend or whatever. My advice would be, pay attention to how you and this cop act around each other and compare that to you and your boyfriend. Talk with both separately (not saying to tell them both about the other) and see who truly cares for you more. The one that's more caring should be the one you go out with
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Basics- 20, live alone. Always been a rocky relationship. We were on good terms untill...
So, at the beginning of the month me and my mother had a argument. It started of the fact that I need her birth certificate for a passport.stupid, I know.
The argument of course escalated, as they do, she said I was selfish, and never spoke to them or see them unless I wanted something.
Then I went on to say, I know I'm selfish, but least I know where I stand, you never make effort to see me first, its always me to.
Then I said it.. What shouldn't have.. 'who organized my brothers birthday, me! When was the last time you went out with any of your children?'
Now she wont speak to me! Its been a month!
Now this sito may seem abit silly to some of you out there, but our relationship has always be on the rocks. I just want to solve it, but we are both far to stubborn, I should step up and apologise, I really know I should, I love her after all, but I'm fed up with her bullying. I understand that's she's just a mother, who is hurt that her children have grown up. But why cant she just enjoy it with us. We was like best friends at one point... So maybe some advice on a subtle way of apologising, or a way just to get us speaking again?
I miss her, but I just cant say sorry. Its terrible, dreadful, but I stupidly cant bring myself to it. And besides I've finally stood up for myself urghh, shut up....!!!!!!
It sounds like you two have some problems, but it's great that you want to make a move in your relationship with your mom. And anyone would explode and sometimes ring up bad stuff when in an argument, so that I can understand. If you want to be friends with your mom again and she won't speak to you, maybe you should leave her a note or something in her mailbox telling her what you told us. Maybe she will agree, maybe not, but if she isn't speaking to you, then a note, text, email, or something may be the only way to get in touch with Her. But depending on how mad she is, she could've blocked you from texts so a letter may be the only way to be sure she gets it. Or if you have some money, maybe some therapy so you two can get to the bottom of your problems and sort them all out. Not everyone can afford that though and it's perfectly understanding if you don't want to do that. But I would say start off with a note and see if maybe she can talk, and if things go well, maybe you two can start getting along again like you used to
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What does it mean if you cry over a boy every night while he has a girlfriend but he isn't happy with the girlfriend because every night he cries at night because he misses you?
I think it means you two love each other and can't stand the thought that you aren't together. If he cries at night over you, then he probably doesn't want to be with his girlfriend. There could be reasons as to why he has to be with her and he has no choice. But that really sounds like love
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Hi! So one of my friends is going out to dinner for a special occasion, and I heard her say (right in front of me) that if some guy couldn't go, I would be invited. I definitely want to say no if that happens. I think that that was so rude of her. Do you agree? Am I overreacting?
Your not wrong to be a little upset. If it's just a certain number of people that can go, I would understand her wanting to have people in mind, but to say right in front of you that you are second choice is pretty rude. Kind of like how it's not rude to think someone has a bad haircut, but it is rude to point it out. So no, you are not wrong for being upset over her saying that
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My friends did the challenge but we didn't know we had to say charlie charlie can we stop? before we could stop playing! Are we all going to be haunted until we die or just the person who first asked to summon the demon?
SCARED PLEASE HELP!
The Charlie charlie thing is very real and should not be played with. I can't say for sure that you will be haunted, but if you didn't know it was summoning demons, I don't think you will be cursed. I don't know whether or not you are religious, but if so, I think you should stay around a chapel or church or with people involved in that kind of thing. From what I've learned, evil spirits can't defeat a church or people of the church. The Charlie charlie thing should definitely be stopped because it is summoning spirits that even the news has catched on with. If you haven't finished it, you definitely should stop.
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Hi,
I'm usually pretty good at giving advice, but this I can't help myself with. I'm 13 and I just got transferred to a new place. I've been here for two months now. As many people here are teens they love to act all grown up and I'm not comfortable with the kind of things they do and the language they use, so I'm not friends with anyone, I tried to adjust and get used to them but without a friend I just can't manage. I'm kind of shy but I can make friends easily, but no one is like me (a little kiddish and crazy) everyone loves to act all grown up. I'm having a tough time making friends, please give me some advice on how I can adjust or I'll end up a lonely girl who talks to herself
Some teens do like to act all grown up (trust me I know A LOT), but some still like to go crazy and childish such as you and I would. Remember this, girls mature faster than guys do, so it would be best to focus on finding a guy friend first. I'm sure there has to been some fun places around such as a laser tag, roller rink, etc. you could try your luck out there and see if there's anyone welcoming to have fun with. There's bound to be some fun people at places like that. And remember, a bathroom is a girl's best friend. I can't tell you how many times I've met people in the bathroom. I go in there to do my hair and next I'm having a long conversation with a total stranger in a bathroom about the meal I ate or the things I did at whatever place I was at. sometimes you just have to find the right place to meet the people you want to hang with. if you have any fun places in your area, I would say that would be
the best way to start. Or maybe try joining a club at your school or get involved with activities there so you can spend more time with different people and im sure there has to be someone you can relate to. I wish you luck!
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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it.
I can't say for sure whether or not they were just trying to get people's attention or just making sure no one was staring as they were making out. Some people just aren't afraid to be open with their relationships and want it to be public. Or some just don't care about the people around and isn't shy to show their love no matter who is there. It's possible they kept looking back because they didn't want people staring and we're keeping check on their surroundings. I can understand how it can be awkward simce this kind of thing can happen a lot in America. It can be rude, but when your in love you don't think about whether or not it's rude or even care what other people think about the situation. It's possible they could be those couples that basically place "he's mine!" Or "she's mine!" And wants to make it clear that person is taken. They could be one of those jealous couples, but they may also be those people who don't care what other people think of their relationship. It all depends on the people who is doing it.
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hi hope you can help me i'm a 15 year old male i'm a devout christian i love god with all my heart and i wanna be a better christian and devote my life to god i want to help people to get closer to god i wantto start to spread god's word i'm a bit nervous not sure where to start but i want to start talkinhg to people about god maybe start with people that i know not sure how do i go about it?
Being the devoted christian you are, I'm gonna assume that you are a big part of the youth with your church. Often, it's best to turn to your youth pastor and leader and he can help steer you in the right direction. Sometimes at people's hardest hour they are willing to try anything, so if you see someone struggling with a need, it may be easier for you to reach out to them. You may have someone in mind, and if so, like say a friend or family member, then ask if they would like to do something with you that day and see if they will come to your church and afterwards do an activity. Try to do what you can to make it appeal to them. If it's a friend, you can ask if they want to sleep over and join an activity with your youth. This has actually worked with me. Before getting comfortable with the people, my best friend hated going to church, but wanted to sleep over and went along with it. Find what would get them interested in the first place, like a friend you think they will like, an activity you think they will enjoy with the church, or whatever it is you have to do. Say that if they come with you, you'll do something they want to do. I know it may seem like your bribing them or something, but nothing can start until they get their foot in the door and can hear the truth. Also, I'm gonna say this because I've seen it happen, but if you talk about God, be sure to do so without offending them. I've actually been to dollar general and their was people having a huge argument about religion. I wasn't there when it started and it was still going on when I left, and those ladies were offending those men by coming straight out saying their beliefs are wrong. I've seen stuff like this happen, so just be very careful how you go about it, or you could offend someone. and be sure to show that you love them no matter what they choose to believe. My youth pastor used to be an unsaved alcoholic before one person showed God's love to him. He is now one of the most loved men in the church and the two are happily married. That just goes to show how much being a friend to someone can save their soul. I really hope I was a help in any kind of way
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so I'm 24 ex is 23 we were together for 3 years. I broke up with him cause he wasn't make an effort to come see me or talk to me or spend the weekends with me. The only time we'd ever talk is through text and while he was working I had to ask every night if he was planning on coming over and at least calling to talk and he always had something more important to do. Then the weekends would come and I'd hardly hear from him only a few text or so. He just wasn't putting in the effort I needed him to. But somehow that was "my fault"... Everything was always somehow my fault. Well anyway we broke up on Saturday cause it was my birthday last week and I had to ask HIM if he planned on spending it with me and when I made him feel guilty he did but then the weekend came and I asked if he was coming out with some friends and me and he refused he wanted to play games. So I broke up with him I had enough. Well since Sunday he won't stop texting:calling so finally I answered last night to tell him to stop and he was like "ok fine sorry I even bothered trying" like really?!?! A few phone calls doesn't count as trying... I'm just over the whole thing am I wrong to be mad that he considered that as him trying?! I've been trying to get him to spend time with me for months and I get nothing but excuses
No way we're you wrong. Not all all, whatsoever! He clearly didn't care enough if he would prefer to play video games than spend time with you. No one would want to be together with someone like that. It's like that song 'gone' by tobymac. This situation is exactly like that. If you listen to it then you'll see. He thought you would always be there anyway, so he took advantage of you. NO ONE likes that. I would say try blocking him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you being furious with him. I would be the same way. He clearly wasn't worth your time, so find someone who will respect you.
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My ex has been troubling me....he is threatening me that he would upload my nude pics on social media..I don't know how he got those pics...I'm really scared....can I do anything if he uploads those pics??is it punishable??will he be punished by law??I am from india
Yes, what he's doing is punishable. Go to the police. He is violating your privacy and has nude pics of you that you never even gave him. Now he either stole them, or had them taken without your knowing. Both are illegal. Go to the police and give them his name and address.
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There will be a 21 year age gap between us. They won't be a sibling, they'll be like my niece, and they'd see me as an aunt. I want to vomit. I think it's an IVF baby and we're catholic, so I don't see how that works. I have 2 other siblings, were we not good enough for our parents? My mom stereotypes certain people having more kids than they can afford, and says we have money issues (why we never properly take vacations and etc) and that we can't afford a pet's healthcare, but suddenly she adds another human to the mix? I'm beyond pissed. If this happened when I was younger, the more the merrier, but I kind of feel like this new kid is to make up for "mistakes" she had when raising my siblings so I feel hurt and offended. She's a bit materialistic saying this is the most money her and my dad have had and that my older sibling and I were born in a council flat early in their relationship but that's like saying that she had no choice in getting pregnant then, when she did, twice. I already wanted to put off having kids til my 30s and now im close to tears and reconsidering even getting iinto any sort of relationship in the future, much less having kids later. I just feel so grossed out and let down and now it's like I feel my mom will just dump this new child on meto take care of when I have my own activities and life to plan for, so I'll be even more diligent now to leave this house as soon as possible cause I feel like my mom isn't the same mom she was 10 years ago. Even before she announced pregnancy she would just be so different and even earlier today I wondered how I was even born from her and how I grew up in my family. with the whole IVF thing I saw bookmarks on her computer and I knew she had been taking prenatals a year ago but I thought it was just a joke. I had a major panic attack a few weeks ago when I thought I saw an ultrasound til I checked the year and it was just my younger sibling's. But no, now I know it's real and I just feel so let down cause i liked our family as it was. The IVF means she likely got a diff egg cause she's in her late 40s which means the kid will only be a half sibling. And I saw the girl they were considering and she's not even our ethnicity so the kid will look very obviously different from the rest of us as it technically would have a diff mother. Why didn't she just adopt?! I would have been more ok with An adoption than this Frankenstein type stuff. I don't mean to be mean, that's just how I'm feeling right now. God forbid I couldn't have kids natirally one day, if I ever for some reason wanted too then there's plenty of people seeking adoptive families that already exist and need to be loved and cared for. My mom was all happy but she has no large age gaps in her family. I' literally know NO ONE with such a huge gap between their siblings. I feel embarrassed mad and resentful. We won't be able to relate to each other at all. How do I make sense of this? Are there any books on this? I feel extremely unhappy
Sometimes a new addition can be scary, and can make one mad and depressed. Within time, I'm sure you will end your time is up loving the child. You don't have to care for the child of you don't want to. With you being in your twenties, you don't have to take orders from your mom. Let her know that. A new addition can be scary and horrifying, but I've time I'm sure you will end up liking the child. Do your best to make the best of it. After all, this baby is a human being too. If you don't want another screaming child in the house, you can try getting your own apartment and making the occasional visit. Sometimes in these kind of situations its best to see a therapist. They can help you make a breakthrough with the suffering and pain your feeling from your mom purposely getting pregnant again.
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20/f
I'm in a crappy situation.
Two days ago I went for a run around 6:30am. While I was running, I get the occasional people honking while driving by.
Around 7 two guys were walking by and started cat calling me and whistling and all that. It's not like I was even dressed inappropriately. It was a cold morning. I ignored them, well first I flipped them off then ignored them but they followed me. I went back to my car and drove off and they were still following me. I was driving 60 in a 50 zone. Then I got pulled over. I should've said something to the officer but I was about to cry.
I shouldn't have been speeding regardless but I guess I was just freaked out.
He gave me a citation and it says I have to appear in court.
Anything I can do about this or do I have to deal with the consequences?
I'm only 20, I'm kinda broke and never been pulled over so I don't know much about this.
When you appear in court you should explain the situation to them. Yes, it would be hard to tell an officer when being pulled over what just happened, but you should tell someone. This isn't saying your speeding ticket will disappear. It determine whether or not they believe you. You can give a description of the guys, the time and place it all happened. It's possible that they could appear there again knowing that's where you go running. And frankly, it's pretty creepy. Explain the situation.
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M/17
This girl that like or have crush on,I dont know what to do anymore. This past few weeks we gotten really close to each other,we texted a lot but i dont if thats enough. I mean She knows that i have a crush on her,because I confess it to her,its suppose to be an April fools prank but I lost the oppurtunity to say the "April Fools" so I yeah she knows. Of all the girls that I have a crush on Shes the different one,because I didnt even bother to know those girls more,but this girl shes really different from the others....I dont know. I miss her a lot,because its summer vacation here in the Philippines,and Im not gonne see her at school anymore because were entering college soon (we have a different schooling system here) I think Im falling for her,and this my first time to make an effort to know a girl. Oh and never had Girlfriend before so I dont know what to do...so bear with me...Should I continue this??
If you confessed on April fools day, then she probably didn't take you seriously. Take her somewhere nice and sit down and explain your love. Don't just say "I have a crush on you", tell her everything you love about her. Say you want to visit over the summer, and don't want to let college pull you two apart. Tell her all that you love about her, and that you want to be together. Yes, it will be very hard, and take all your strength to do if it's your first time, but if you don't tell her and you two go off to college with you never saying anything, I promise you will have major regrets. Ask a friend to help you prepare for telling her, so you will know what to say and not get tongue tied. It will also make it a little less scary of your prepared for whatever answer she may give you.
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How i convince a girl to do sex with me
You should never just "convince" a girl to make love with you. Most girls work differently than guys. Girls want to hit the sheets when they feel a strong love for another. I get sex is something guys like to rush into, but you should get to know a girl and take it slow. Don't pressure her, and show her that you respect her. Sex is referred to "making love" as a reason.
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I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I'm very much in love with him.. he has been fantizising about seeing a girl with me.. I'm not at all about a "threesome" he hasn't said it out but he hints bout it turns him on to see another with me... I'm scared if he's wanting to be with someone else or he just doesn't love me or respect me.
If he truly loves you, then he will lay off all these hints. Many do like three some sex, so it's very possible that he thinks you feel the same way about it. Ask him if he's happy with you. It'll take a lot of courage, but you need to get the truth right out of his own mouth. And pay attention, because if he feels you won't like his answer, he will lie to you. So watch closely. I know you are in love with him, but if he's just using you to get sex, then he doesn't really love you. It's better to get the truth, then do something you might later regret.
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I've become friends with someone in Japan and have been talking to him for the past four-five months. The thing is that I'm 18 and he's 33. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. He started calling me "sister" and telling me that he loved me. I thought it was more of a sibling kind of love since he called me "sister." It began to get awkward when he started talking about seeing me and us living together. When I asked him how he really felt about me he said that he wanted to "make a love" with me. I explained that I didn't feel the same way and he shouldn't have referred to me as his sibling if felt that way. I told him that I was already in a relationship and thought it would end from there. The only thing that DID end was my title as "sister." After a while he began, again, telling me how much he loves me and wants to see me.
I will admit that it's partially my fault for not giving a stronger "no", and I do enjoy only some of the attention he gives me, but I can't stand hurting other people's feelings. The last time I dealt with something like this someone threatened their own life. He's also my friend and I don't know if he'd stop talking to me because of how I feel. What exactly am I suppose to do?
No one likes to hurt people's feelings (except for rude jerks). But what he's doing is hurting you. You need to make it clear to him that you want him to give you back your old title as sister. Some guys will never give up unless there is some kind of shock to bring them back to reality. If you have a social networking site that you are friends with him on (Facebook, Instagram, etc) then post some pics of you and your boyfriend on there. He might even be thinking you made it up to let him down easy. If you post pics of you and your boyfriend (maybe even some where you both look love struck together) then maybe he'll back off a little. Or better yet, tell your boyfriend about this. Let him know that you like the guy as a friend but nothing more and see if he will have a talk with him. Your boyfriend may get jealous and want to straighten him out. Either way, this guy shouldn't be doing this when he knows your not comfortable with it.
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