There is a certain aura of peace when you help somebody in need. I am here to give anybody advice who asks or is in need of it, located in NYC.
Gender: Female
Location: New York, New York.
Occupation: Writer
Age: 23
MSN: kenzie201085@gmail.com
Member Since: February 27, 2015
Answers: 13
Last Update: October 22, 2015
Visitors: 2676
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Give advice ? (link)
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If you are having difficult trouble understanding american's while they are speaking, there isn't much I can help you with. I would suggest getting an app or watching free videos to help you learn the language. I'm sorry I couldn't help you out more!
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No one is giving me the support I want n it been so hard 2 me because I haven't tell anyone how I fell (link)
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How do you feel? What kind of support are you looking for? I'm here to help!
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Hello!
As the headline says, im trying to be a better man, and being able to do some self defense is never bad idea. I heared that some martial arts are tied with some sort of philosophy and through it teaching other things for life then just "beating people" (because beating people is NOT my desire in the first place). I will be most grateful if you give me any suggestions i could follow.
Thank you! (link)
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I'm not extremely familiar with martial arts, but I am familiar with art and commonly martial arts is tied with a form of art that uses progressive serenity. Martial arts in its entirety is based of of philosophical means of being able to have full control over your body. This control offers inner and outer peace, I wish I could give you more information but I'm not too familiar with this particular topic. If you are looking for a martial arts that gives you means of protection without the use of crazy force and want a more artistic arts, one that gives knowledge of life in itself I highly suggest trying Aikodo martial arts. This particular art allows you to defend yourself by letting the energy of your attacker do the work in protecting yourself, and often is the most eye opening form of martial arts.
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ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
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This is a bit hard to answer, but I'll do the best that I can to help you out.
At ten years old you shouldn't be having suicidal thoughts or self-harming, but as a person who has been in the same situation as you have I am in no position to tell you that you can't do that. I know how hard it is to deal with things at such a young age, everything seems like it's the end of the world- trust me, I know! Having your first boyfriend is a big deal no matter what age you are. I had my first real boyfriend when I was sixteen- and up until that point I thought I was weird because I didn't have a boyfriend until the middle of high school.
You are just getting into the age where life starts getting real, and sadly- the real world sucks. There is no other way to word it, it just sucks. Boys will come and go out of your life and I can promise you, you will have plenty of boyfriends! Try not to worry about the boy who didn't stay with you, in a few years you will hardly even remember him.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friends fighting. Having friends fighting is hard to deal with because they expect you to choose sides, am I right? That can lead to major issues, and since I don't know the full situation the only advice I can really give you on that topic is to stay neutral. It's best not to pick sides, take a step back and just say "I'm staying out of it." If the friends you have had since first grade aren't there for you anymore, forget them! I know it seems so hard right now, but there will be so many people who come into your life and leave abruptly with nothing else said.
You will find good friends who won't leave your side over some silly fight. As for your depression and self-harm I advice you to stop hurting yourself! I will forever have scars on my body because I was a naive 14 year old girl who didn't know how to deal with her depression appropriately. There are so many things that you can do to help manage your depression. The firs thing I recommend you do it tell your parents. Some people don't understand that depression doesn't stop for anybody.
Depression doesn't care if you're skinny, short, tall, old, young. Depression can take a hold of somebody and rip them at the seams. If anybody is going to be understanding, it isn't your friends it will be your parents.
Keep looking up and know that time heals most anything, and at ten years old you have your entire life ahead of you.
Don't hesitate to ask more questions at my advice column if you need it.
-kenzieanonymous
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I have been diagnosed with Major depression with psychotic features (I see, hear and feel things that others can't). My friends say that it is all in my head and that I'm just making an excuse as to why I choose to be depressed and I can prevent it. Is this true? Am I making of all of this up? If I am, what are some things I can try in order to not choose to be depressed? If I'm not making this up and my friends just don't like it, then what can I do to help myself not be so depressed so I can get through the day?
Here's the situation:
I am no longer interested in hobbies that I used to like (example: video games, drawing, reading, writing, phototraphy). I also am crying off and on throughout the day. I can barely eat or sleep. If I do get to sleep, I have trouble staying asleep. I see shadow people and they constantly talk and touch me keeping me up all night to where I can't sleep. I basically get out of bed to go to work and when I get home, I just sit and do nothing.
My husband is understanding of my situation and is also trying to help me find a coping skill to master so my depression cannot control me any more.
My real Question is: What are some good coping skills do deal with my mental disorder? (link)
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Firs thing, your friends are absolutely incorrect! In no way do I mean this to be offensive, but if your friends are telling you that you are making your depression (psychotic or not) up- then they are not a great bunch of friends.
As somebody who has suffered tremendously through depression, psych hospitals and all- I know it can be extremely difficult to deal with depression and it can be even harder to indulge in the depth of your depression with people, no matter how close to you they are. Being depressed is in no way a choice. It is however, a choice to get help and live with your depression, but nothing is going to ever make you "un-depressed".
There are medications you can take to manage your depression, but this usually entails seeing specialized psychologists, which can be hard to come by. Also they can be very, very expensive. The best way in my opinion, that I have learned works far better than any medication that can be prescribed- is surrounding yourself with positive influence.
This probably sounds nearly impossible, after all when you are depressed you start to become irritable and the things you used to love you lose interest in. Find your niche, that thing that gets you through the day. Take every day just ten seconds at a time, tell yourself you can push through it. It is also extremely important for you to take care of yourself! No matter how many people tell you that you are crazy, or call you a liar- only you know how you are feeling.
At the end of the day, if the best decision you can make for yourself is to cut people out of your life, you should do it. Your husband being understanding of the situation is a great thing, but there will most likely be days where your husband lashes out at you for being the way you are. This does not mean he hates you, or he is mad at you per-say- he will most likely do this because he doesn't understand it on a personal level.
Seeing something and understanding the text-book behind it, does mean somebody understands the reality of it. Some things I do when I get depressed are-
1.) Talk to somebody (as cliche as it sounds, I find it helps!) But it has to be somebody who will listen
2.) Go for a walk
3.) Write down my feelings (No, this is not just something children do! It really helps!)
4.) Take a hot bath, light some candles, and open your mind to all of your problems and come up with a logical and safe solution for them.
5.) Anything distracting. Shopping, watching a movie, baking, etc.
I hope that these all helped, and never feel ashamed for the way you are feeling. For any more questions/advice feel free to visit my column and ask any questions you may have.
~Kenzieanonymous
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I am currently in my first year of university and decided to try to join a Drama Association. I went to an interview where I was asked a few questions and in about a week and a half I have to audition. They require me to do an improvisation, a monologue (which was chosen during the interview at random, but they still haven't sent me what monologue I'm supposed to be doing), and some sort of artistic presentation (recite a poem, a dance, singing, etc.). The thing is that I have acted before but nothing too big. I'm basically a newbie to theatre. I'm having trouble with the artistic presentation I need to bring - I seriously have got no idea what I should do. Its a theatre audition so I don't know just ‘what' would be preferred. I like singing and dancing a lot, but its not like I'm an expert in either one. I'm super nervous because I have never done anything like this and I'm afraid I'll screw up and look like an idiot. What tips should I follow through? Anything I should avoid?
PS. I'm a girl, although its not really that important, I don't care about acting male or female parts. (link)
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Theatre auditions are so much different than straight up acting auditions. While acting auditions expect you to be composed and "natural", Theatre auditions are quite the opposite. Since it is a life performance, Theatre requires their actors and actresses to be enthusiastic, and animated. Depending on the play you are acting in. I would suggest choosing a monologue that offers a wide expression of your emotional strength. If your acting strength is portraying anger, choose a monologue that is an argument. Use facial expressions, hand gestures, and use the stage to your full advantage.
Don't hold back and look uncomfortable on stage, theatre directors will know by your body language and voice. Be loud, and have fun. Directors look for people who can have fun on stage and portray a character properly. If you feel most comfortable dancing, then find a way to add dance into your audition.
Drink lots of water the night before, don't go on an empty stomach, do the best you can to settle your nerves, get lots of sleep, and have a game plan! Knowing what you are going to do on stage before an audition is so important- unless improvisation is your best feature.
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Why are there some people who rarely seem to experience failure? Like they have some magic answer to achieving success all the time? I work so unbelievably hard at the things I do and with the utmost level of passion and enthusiasm, keep an open mind and am always going for things and putting myself out there. I'd say I fail 90% of the time and succeed 10%. Of course, I'm grateful for when I do succeed, but I just don't think I'm reaching my full potential; as if I don't hold this magic key certain other people seem to have.
My brother is one of these people who never fails. In high school he was top notch at just about everything: ranked in top 10, amazing musician, star athlete, organized, level-headed, "kind", you name it. He didn't get rejected from any schools and got full scholarships. Now a few years into college, he continues on that path and is starting to get opportunities for really impressive career endeavors. No internships or programs ever turn him down. My parents seem to think that hard work is the answer to everything, but quite frankly I put my entire soul into what I do and don't achieve the way he does. Why are there some people who just KNOW what to do to achieve success? They make me feel like I am blind.
I understand that comparing myself to other people is not the answer, but watching my brother and some of my friends/classmates/colleagues right now achieve the kind of success I so envy is blinding my ability to see things clearly. It's also making my view of a bright future somewhat dim. I am terrified I will have to live at home forever or be miserable in a career that makes me a living but that I don't enjoy (I am in the process of attempting an extremely difficult, competitive career path in the arts).
I know these are questions without clear answers, but please. help me out with some level-headed ideas as to what I am doing wrong or why I feel this way or anything really. (link)
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I think that almost everybody who has fallen unsuccessful has asked this question. For instance- when I Was trying to publish my first novel, I got rejected so many times until I hit that one publishing company that loved my book. During that time it baffled my mind how some people with no experience in writing were lucky enough to get published first time on submission.
The answer to that question? Some people are just lucky. If you are a believer that life has a plan for everybody, it may seem difficult to understand how people who work only 10% of how hard you do, can be so successful in life.
There are so many aspects of unfairness in any field of success. Take a look at acting or the music industry; why is one person who can't act or sing so successful and rich, when there was probably somebody way better at acting who could have taken their place? Most likely they are better looking, or have a family member who was famous.
There are so many double standards that are looked at everywhere in the world of success. I am not insinuating you are unnatractive or less talented than somebody- those are just mere examples. What I am trying to say is, some people are just lucky and any industry is full of double standards. Any industry you go in there will be an ideal shoe to fit. From the way your hair is styled down to the price of the shoes on your feet.
Working harder for your success compared to somebody who just signs a check and calls it a day, will be so much more rewarding. Like when writing my book, actually writing my book myself was so much more rewarding than what I imagine having a ghost writer write it all for me, would feel like. The people who work harder are generally level headed and more understanding than people who's success just come to them.
I hardly think Steve Jobs success came easy.
I suppose the real answer will never be known. Whether it be rude double standards, or luck- just make sure not to let yourself become discouraged and keep working towards your goal. Eventually you will accomplish it.
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Someone posted a selfie with #HMU4ATBH and I have no idea what that means. When I tried that hashtag all I got were more selfies? What? (link)
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It means,
Hit me up for a 'to be honest'. If you don't know what a 'to be honest' is, it is the "truthful" opinion of oneself to another person.
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Hi Everybody,
So I am 19 years old and recently my mother and younger brother moved away, and I moved into my fathers house. As well as my boyfriend of 3 years even more recently moved away. I now live with my older brother, younger sister, step mom and father. I cannot be upstairs for long periods of time because I have some issues with my sister and I get very mad and irritated with her because she does not know what an inside voice is. Anyways, my mother and I are very close, and she is truly my bestfriend. And ever since everyone moved away I feel very lonely. I have never had many friends, so I basically sit in my room and do homework, and go to work, and go to college. I get very anxious not having anyone to talk too, and I have a strong desire to get a dog. I feel as though a dog could lift my spirits and save me from becoming depressed. The problem is, my step mom and sister have 4 cats 1 small dog and 1 guinea pig. I was close with my mother dog but she obviously moved away with my mother, and I just want to feel wanted. I know that having a pet that I could love and would love me back, and keep me company would fix my problem, but how on earth am I supposed to convince them? They know I want a dog, but they don't realize that I need a dog. (link)
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Want and need are very, very, different things; however they disguise themselves so similarly that it's hard for people to tell the difference. Especially people that aren't the ones with the desire for what they want, or in your case need.
I am not familiar with your family so it would be hard for me to give you any solid advice on how you can convince them to let you get a dog. Chances are if you use stress from college life as a reason, they will backfire by saying something along the lines of, "If you are stressed with college, being responsible for a dog will be even harder." If this is the case, tell them about library dogs.
They have been proven to encourage a confident consumption of books, and dogs are proven to be an attractive companion whilst reading or studying- helping students of all ages. This method of dog therapy is quite weird to many, but proven to work. Thus- a dog would actually help you with your studying and college work.
Dogs are capable of understanding up to 250 words and gestures, as well as emotions. While this may be a weird and seemingly pointless thing to say to your parents in order to convince them to get you a dog, it will prove that dogs are capable of understanding people on an emotional level, thus helping you emotionally with issues that you can't talk to your parents about.(the average dog is as intelligent as a two year old child, and can count up to five).
Now, these next things I am going to list don't have anything to do with dogs- but are successful tips on how to get what you want.
1.) Repeat something back to people, for example if somebody said "I like dogs but," you say back to them, "You like dogs?" This shows assertiveness and makes people feel obligated to do what the other person wants.
2.) Ask for more than you really want. For example, say you really want a small yorkie- ask for a golden retriever. When they say no, then ask for a yorkie. Because they said no the first time and the second thing you asked for was less than the original thing you asked, they often feel bad and say yes.
3.) Mirror body language, this subconsciously makes the person think they agree with what you are saying.
4.) Ask for a small favor before you ask for what you really want, since they said yes the first time they will automatically (in most cases) agree, because it makes them feel superior and as though you are reliant of them.
5.) Have other's around you agree with what you are saying, the person who does not agree often then agree's simply because everybody else is agreeing, and they think it must be right.
All of those have been proven scientifically to work in 70% of situations.
For any more advice make sure to favorite my column and I will be sure to answer you in any ways possible. I hope that it all works out for you and you get your dog in the end!
~Kenzieanonymous
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Hi my parents finally found out that I want to be tested for being bipolar. It runs in my family and my emotions have been like a roller coaster since I was little. I'm kind of happy that I can get help, but Im scared. Like scared to the point were I would say I'm not going and wouldn't cooperate. And the thing is I don't know why! I've wanted help for so long but now that I can get it I'm terrified. I guess I'm afraid the medicine is going to change who I am and I've done some reasearch and the side effects are kinda bothersome to me. I dont know. Has any one ever been screened before for it and is now on the medication? (link)
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I am sorry to inform you that I have no personal experience with bipolar disorder, but that does not mean that I don't understand or relate with you.
Many disorders have run in my family and are hereditary, some of which I even suffer from. Anxiety, depression, insamnia, suicidal thoughts. All of which I have taken medication for, I fully understand the conflict you are feeling.
Medication and deciding to go onto medication can be a very scary decision. Especially when the decision is not up to you. It is an excellent start by telling your parents you want to be tested for bipolar disorder (assuming they were told).
The idea of getting help and the actual point where you go and get help are completely different things. For the longest time I wanted to tell my parents about my suicidal thoughts, and hurtful nature. When the time came for me to actually proceed in the process of getting help it seemed like every thought I had of wanting to get help disappeared into the oblivion.
Medicine can change who you are if not the proper medicine for you, no psychiatrist will prescribe you medication they believe won't be good for you. It's a scary thing trying new medication but the good part about it is, if you don't like the effect that it has on you it is completely your decision to end that medication and try a new one.
If you don't like the side effects of a medication, don't take it. Taking a medication you are afraid of taking can scare you into having a bad reaction, simply because you think you will.
It is very brave of you to take the initiative to get help. I commend you immensely for that, be sure to favorite my column if you ever want to ask me and more questions. I would be happy to answer them.
~kenzieanonymous
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Okay. 1) I have EDS type 3 makes it hard for me to lose weight because of my loose joints. Hard to exercise. 2) I'm 5'8" 3) I weigh 210 4) I was doing the Atkins diet for 2 months. I lose about 20 lbs.
I am well portioned and instead of looking like I weigh that much, I look about 150.
I've been hitting the gym 3 days a week since January.
I have lots of muscle in my legs, and some in my arms...
My mom says; "Muscle weighs more than fat." "Muscle is smaller than fat." "If you build muscle you'll be smaller."
I don't want to be a freaking whale my entire life!!! Okay.. So this is the problem.
Muscle is smaller than fat, yet it weighs more. So if I go to the gym and get smaller, yet I STILL WEIGH THE SAME... how can I change it so I weigh less..
I don't know what to do and I'm not going back to my anorexic behavior.
"But you're too fat to have an eating disorder."
I don't care. I just want to be thin. (link)
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Hello, I noticed that your advice was already answered but I would like to add some things if you don't mind!
For starters congrats on the weight loss! I can completely relate to you with this, at my highest weight I was 250 pounds, and am now 137. I also measure 5'8 so I was always well proportioned, but I have also suffered numerous eating disorders seeing I followed in the path of my mother.
I am not going to comment advice on a diet plan that you should work on, it seems that you need advice on something much deeper than diet plans. You seem to be falling in common types with eating disorders or body dysmorphia. You do not have to be "too fat" in order to have an eating disorder. In fact, even at my highest weight I had an eating disorder. Weight does not define the rules of disordered eating, it could be eating too much, too little or a lot of both.
So my advice to you would be to stop working so hard at being thin but rather healthy. Depriving yourself of foods completely like one does on the atkins diet is not healthy. You need to movie forward in steps, and let me tell you, the body needs at least 1200 calories per-day to function properly. That is not taking into consideration current weight and height.
Your mentality of needing to be thin is exactly what is stopping you from losing weight, you probably are losing weight- only losing a small amount that it doesn't even show up on the scale. If you want to get through this period of non-weight loss, change what you are eating. Don't deprive your body to small calories, give your body the nutrition that it needs and continue working out. Don't diet, but make a lifestyle change.
Before you worry about your weight loss, I would work on your mentality. You have the symptoms of a blooming or already formed eating disorder, and your mental health is far more important in this case than weight loss.
Stay beautiful, stay motivated, and favorite my blog if you ever want to ask more questions about weight loss or eating disorders. (From a fellow survivor, and successor).
~Kenzieanonymous
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I was invited to a big back woods party that I really want to go to because I've been stressed. However, it's on the same night that I usually spend with my boyfriend and the person throwing the party doesn't like my boyfriend. The owner of the property has no problem with him. I don't want to let my boyfriend down, but, I also need some fun. What should I do? Please help asap! Female 19 (link)
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Hello, I am pleased to say that I have come up with a few solutions for your question. While this question has already been answered, I'm not so sure it was answered to it's fullest potential. Before you get to the advice, I would like to let you know I work for a professional advice column paper in the city.
I know that boyfriends can be a hard thing to deal with at times, trust me I know. There are fights, dealing with jealously and so, so many more underlying issues within all relationships. Your significant other not like a person in your life, is just one of those things that is bound to happen.
Sadly, there is not much one can do to change the opinion of others. For starters, I would find out just exactly why your boyfriend doesn't like the host (assuming that you don't already know). Being honest is key to any relationship, so you should definitely discuss why your boyfriend doesn't like him- and make sure he is honest about it!
If your boyfriend doesn't like the host due to something serious i.e a hostile personality, maybe you should consider not going to the party. Although you and your boyfriend usually hang the night of the party, you are your own person and should be able to do things without your boyfriend sometimes.
Being with the same person on the same night can get boring and exhausting, although I am not jumping to conclusions about your relationship without knowing you or your boyfriend personally. Perhaps you could discuss your boyfriend attending the party with you, and if that isn't an option do what you want to do.
If you had to answer right now would you rather see your boyfriend tonight or go to the party, that is your answer. That is what you really want to do, and I think you should do it. If you don't go out partying every single weekend and want a weekend to relax and let go, I suggest you do it.
Working around everything you want to please your boyfriend is not healthy, and if you feel that you can't go to this party because of your boyfriend- you may want to have a conversation with your boyfriend on why you feel like this. Your boyfriend cannot dictate your feelings, and again I am not saying your boyfriend does.
If you going to a party one night disappoints your boyfriend maybe that is an issue your boyfriend needs to take up with himself rather than with you.
Take my advice and think in this moment, would you rather party or see your boyfriend for one night. Don't think and just answer, your answer should be what you do. You should be able to get away from the reigns of your normal routine for one night, like when you diet but allow yourself a cheat day once a month (in no way recommending cheating on your boyfriend!).
At the end of your day, it is your decision. You however should not worry about disappointing your boyfriend if this is a once in a blue moon thing that you do.
I hope you found this helpful, be sure to favorite my column for more advice if needed!
~kenzieanonymous
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I want to start off an say that I am in a great place in my life. I feel happy, beautiful and hopeful. However, I am trying to move forward from a recent rejection and I just want to hear some encouraging words. So, I got rejected by a guy I notice at school. I had decided to give him my number and he never called. When we see each other in class, neither one of us says hi or even hold eye contact. I was sort of surprise he did not call but they are reason other than me that I have to consider. However, this is the first time I seen someone who I am attracted to and he seems smart , but I only know him from school. I just want to move on knowing that the right guy would find me to be great as I see myself. However, I did notice this guy and I wanted him but since he did not call, I have to move forward. I would love something to make me feel better. (link)
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Let me start out with this; you cannot let a phone call define your self worth. Now, I understand this can be a difficult thing to do because now and days it seems all we care about are the phone calls from the cute boys/girls. Although I don't know you personally, I can guarantee that every negative thought about yourself is untrue. You have probably been thinking about reasons why he didn't call, the monster in your head saying things like "am I not attractive enough? Am I not thin enough?" Etc. The answer to those questions is, you did nothing wrong. Boys can be difficult to understand, and so can girls. We may never know why he didn't call you, we may never know whether or not he liked you. Maybe he was nervous, maybe he simply hasn't raised the courage to call you yet.
Whatever the answer to that infamous question is, it doesn't matter. The reason why he never called you is not something of importance, what is important is moving on and finding somebody worthy or your time and emotions. If a boy is going wait you out and make you sweat and agonize over hearing his voice on the phone, he isn't worth it. There is somebody out there who likes you, maybe you don't know it- maybe they don't even know it yet.
In a few months or years, or however long it takes, you will get over this boy and you won't even remember him at all. Perhaps you will remember him forever, but all he will be is a memory of a boy who wasn't worth your time. You are amazing, beautiful, and I hope that you truly believe it.
I don't think I could tell you anything that will make you forget him, that is something that only you can do. All I cans say is don't let a boys rejection define your self worth or how you feel about yourself. Stay beautiful.
~Kenzieanon
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