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Why do some people rarely experience failure?
Why are there some people who rarely seem to experience failure? Like they have some magic answer to achieving success all the time? I work so unbelievably hard at the things I do and with the utmost level of passion and enthusiasm, keep an open mind and am always going for things and putting myself out there. I'd say I fail 90% of the time and succeed 10%. Of course, I'm grateful for when I do succeed, but I just don't think I'm reaching my full potential; as if I don't hold this magic key certain other people seem to have.
My brother is one of these people who never fails. In high school he was top notch at just about everything: ranked in top 10, amazing musician, star athlete, organized, level-headed, "kind", you name it. He didn't get rejected from any schools and got full scholarships. Now a few years into college, he continues on that path and is starting to get opportunities for really impressive career endeavors. No internships or programs ever turn him down. My parents seem to think that hard work is the answer to everything, but quite frankly I put my entire soul into what I do and don't achieve the way he does. Why are there some people who just KNOW what to do to achieve success? They make me feel like I am blind.
I understand that comparing myself to other people is not the answer, but watching my brother and some of my friends/classmates/colleagues right now achieve the kind of success I so envy is blinding my ability to see things clearly. It's also making my view of a bright future somewhat dim. I am terrified I will have to live at home forever or be miserable in a career that makes me a living but that I don't enjoy (I am in the process of attempting an extremely difficult, competitive career path in the arts).
I know these are questions without clear answers, but please. help me out with some level-headed ideas as to what I am doing wrong or why I feel this way or anything really.
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Not sure this applies. But my husband and I often notice people who are applying themselves as much as the others who find success and yet nothing happens to them in life. Example, a really talented singer is doing everything right, she has amazing talent and yet no matter how much exposure she gets, no one really takes notice. Then you have a rock band with a lead singer who has an awful voice and somehow without even trying, they become popular overnight and go on to produce many hit albums. Hubby calls this situation, "Being born with the Golden Spoon stuck up your ass". It means that no matter what this person does, whether they work hard for it or not, whether they even have the ultimate talent or not, they are going to find success and all people will think they are the greatest thing. Neither of us have the 'so called golden spoon' and we have to work hard for everything and yes, it doesn't seem fair. But when you look at the population as a whole, those born with such luck are in the minority. There are more people like you and I who have to work hard for every inch of gain, as it doesn't just fall into our laps like for the lucky few.
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There is an old saying that might be applicable to what you are saying her. There are people whose plans fail and those who plan to fail. Then there are those people who just have no plan at all.
There is nothing wrong with having a plan that fails as long as you learn something from that failure. Failing at something is learning. If you plan to fail then you do not learn or if you have no plan at all then you are doomed to failure.
I don't know where you fit into the above. Hard work alone is not the key to success alone. It takes a clear plan on how you are going to get their as well. That plan is your road map. Yes there may be roadblocks and even detours along your route of travel and it is to be expected and you adjust your plan as required when you come upon these things. You must have a road map, a plan, before you start out on the road to your goal.
What goes hand in hand with you roadmap is conquering time management. TO many of us let time manage us. When we allow time to manage us is when we begin to see a higher rate of failure for we tend to miss deadline or fail to complete projects.
You say you're a hard worker and you probably are. Is it possible you work too hard? Meaning you have taken on to heavy a course load. If so this is another pothole in your road map to your goal for once again no matter how well you try to manage time there are only so many hours in a day and you have more work then you have time to properly complete.
I don't think you're a failure and I don't think you plan to fail. What I believe is either you have no true plan, one that you have sat down and mapped out on paper, or that plan is flawed in some manner.
What you need to do is stop. Take a weekend off and relax get your head together. Spring break should be approaching and this would be a good time to stop and reevaluate where you are, what your plan is if you have one written and make the needed adjustments.
You are probably saying this guy is nuts and is nuts offering me any answers or solutions but I really am. I've given you a road map to find the answer to your problem. since I do not know you and can only gage your problem from the little you have written this is the best answer I can give you to help. Being overworked does lead to failure and I think this may be the core of your problem. If you sit down and map things out as I have suggested it should become crystal clear to you.
You can always write back to me in a private message should you need more help.
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I think that almost everybody who has fallen unsuccessful has asked this question. For instance- when I Was trying to publish my first novel, I got rejected so many times until I hit that one publishing company that loved my book. During that time it baffled my mind how some people with no experience in writing were lucky enough to get published first time on submission.
The answer to that question? Some people are just lucky. If you are a believer that life has a plan for everybody, it may seem difficult to understand how people who work only 10% of how hard you do, can be so successful in life.
There are so many aspects of unfairness in any field of success. Take a look at acting or the music industry; why is one person who can't act or sing so successful and rich, when there was probably somebody way better at acting who could have taken their place? Most likely they are better looking, or have a family member who was famous.
There are so many double standards that are looked at everywhere in the world of success. I am not insinuating you are unnatractive or less talented than somebody- those are just mere examples. What I am trying to say is, some people are just lucky and any industry is full of double standards. Any industry you go in there will be an ideal shoe to fit. From the way your hair is styled down to the price of the shoes on your feet.
Working harder for your success compared to somebody who just signs a check and calls it a day, will be so much more rewarding. Like when writing my book, actually writing my book myself was so much more rewarding than what I imagine having a ghost writer write it all for me, would feel like. The people who work harder are generally level headed and more understanding than people who's success just come to them.
I hardly think Steve Jobs success came easy.
I suppose the real answer will never be known. Whether it be rude double standards, or luck- just make sure not to let yourself become discouraged and keep working towards your goal. Eventually you will accomplish it.
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