First off, I am deeply sorry for the issues you are facing right how. And while each person's experience is different and thus I would never suggest that I know how you feel, In some was i can relate.

Pushing people away and isolation is common in depression. As is the lethargy you mention. And I would venture to guess that the very fact that you even ask this question means you have a good enough head on your shoulders to not want to make a hasty and rushed decision on the state of your relationship with either guy.

As hard as it is, I think if you can hang in there for a while until you can get a grip on your depression a bit, then with a sound mind you will be able to look at things more clearly and in a way that will be best.

For now, just work on yourself before dealing with anything else. Worst case scenario, you'll end up havaing made a new friend.

First off, I honestly think this is mainly a self-esteem issue and not one of intelligence. Granted, I personally wouldn't consider smoking weed a "smart" thing to do but there have been plenty of smart people throughout history who have done so.

Let me start by switching out the term smart which can be a relative term to something more appropriate - intelligence. Now, did you know that there is something out there called the theory of multiple intelligences? It was developed by Harvard University professor Howard Gardner. See this link - http://www.tecweb.org/styles/gardner.html

Basically, it means that people can be "smart" in different ways and I'm more than willing to bet you fall into at least one of his categories.

Although I don't think it is necessary, if you are really insistent on a test, this this one - http://www.edutopia.org/multiple-intelligences-assessment .

Work on your self esteem, try to kick the weed habit and don't worry about how smart you are as that we are all intelligent in different ways.

Well, if would be helpful for us to know what exactly you want help for and why you are looking for support.

You can send me an email and I'd be glad to do what I can.

In today's world, many people question whether or not those things you mentioned count. But, I think there's a pretty simple way to make that call.

More than 80% of the world engages in masturbation at any given point in their lives. Those are the ones that admit to it. It's likely the rate is much higher than that. If masturbation disqualified someone from being a virgin, virtually nobody would be one at all.

As you refer to it, being fingered, is essentially masturbation by another person. So, while surely this is more intimate, I would say that the same general idea applies here.

So, if you had only done those two, yes, I would consider you a virgin.

However, oral sex and anal sex say it right there in the name of the activity - sex. These two types of activities are the only types homosexual couples can engage in (oral) lesbians, (oral or anal) gay men, and nobody would consider those in active homosexual relationships to be virgins.

So, basically, oral and anal disqualify you from being a virgin in my opinion.

Probably the easiest way to answer him is by saying that you've been sexually active but never had vaginal sex.

I hope that helps.

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing. I know, first hand, that it can be difficult to hear that you have contracted any sort of STD, whether permanent or not. But perhaps a little info on Herpes, or as it is technically called, HSV or Herpes Simplex Virus, might help.

First off, there are essentially two kinds, oral and genital. And, believe it or, both are rather common, especially oral. I think it's like 1-5 people will get it. Ever seen anyone with a cold sore? That's HSV, not any other illness. In many cases, the oral version is so common and comes from so many forms of contact that it's not even considered an STD all that much anymore. After all, babies get it from older relatives with a cold sore kissing them sometimes. Students who wrestle in school have gotten it from close contact with other wrestlers who are having an outbreak at the time.

So, long story short, while there was a stigma with herpes, it's really not that bad so long as you treat it. In fact, even the stigma is fading some to a degree.

Don't give up. Nothing is worth ending your life. Be strong and know that you can get through this and I am very, very confident that someone, maybe many guys, will still want you. After all, if HSV stopped people from having a desire for one another, we'd have a lot more single people.

Just be careful with relationships and continue using the Zoloft. You got though the breakup, you can do the same with this. And I really think you'll come out stronger.

Well, I'm sure it is a difficult thing to announce to anyone for that matter let alone you parents. But, the one thing that is certain is that whether you come out and tell them or now, your body will show the signs of pregnancy and they will know eventually anyway.

So, even though you are worried about it, the best thing is to just come out with it. I'd say you should sit your parents down and just approach them with honesty and sincerity.

Your parents clearly have big hearts in the fact that they adopted you as a child. I'd like to think those big hearts, although possibly a bit shocked or worried for you, will be there to help, comfort and accept you in this time of your life and beyond.

From my personal viewpoint, any respectable parent would see it as a mature and responsible decision that you want to have the baby and do not want to end the pregnancy. It is also very caring and thoughtful that you want to keep him/her as your own.

Good luck and know, even though it might not seem like it right now, everything will work out in the end.

Telling your parents that you might be pregnant (and I say might because you really should get it confirmed by a doctor) has to be difficult I'm sure. But so is bottling it up. And as long as you plan on having the baby, which I sincerely hope you do, they will find out eventually any way so there is no point in hiding it.

I know you are worried because your parents are strict. But I am willing to bet that they are that way because they love you and don't want anything to happen to you. Sure, they might be upset or disappointed but because of that love for you those feelings will pass and they will be there for you.

I also think any respectable parent would also commend you on showing the maturity to take responsibility for the situation and would respect you for caring enough to bring the baby into this world whether you would put him or her up for adoption or raise the child yourself.

Sit them down with you and let your emotions and heart pour out about the situation. I really think you will be better off for it.

I can give you my perspective as a guy who happens to like alternative looks.

Personally, I think what you have right now sounds nice. But, if you do decide to go with a different color, your best bet in my opinion would be to go with something on the lighter side or the color spectrum.

I would consider coloring the blonde hair and leaving the black as is. A nice neon green or light purple/pink might be a good way to go for you. Not a big fan of blue unless it is very minimal and only in subtle streaks. Red is cool but might be a bit cliche.

But, if you do decide to color the blonde side, like I said, just be sure to keep it lighter rather than darker. The darker you make it, the harder it will be to change it to something else in the future and the chance of making it blonde again is not very good.

Hope that helps.

It's never a good thing to be in an accident. Even if nobody gets hurt or there is no serious damage, it can still shake you up physically and emotionally.

But in my opinion, you are being too hard on yourself. Car accidents happen all the time and most people who get hit will probably realize this. Maybe not at first but once the initial shock wears off, the person you hit will probably be willing to get past it and move on.

Stick with the job and don't just quit out of the blue. First off, it looks bad to future employers and second it is not the easiest thing to find a decent job nowadays.

Give it some time, if the situation becomes unbearable, then consider looking for a new job. But, if at all possible, you probably shouldn't leave the one you have unless you have something else lined up and ready.

First of all, it's not a generational thing. This has been a silly little thing that goes on in high schools for a long time.

That being said, while you shouldn't let anyone's opinion or attitude dictate what you wear, if you are set on name brands and such, there are some things you can to do make some cash.

First of, mowing lawns or babysitting are good options. You can also offer to wash cars in the neighborhood.

If you have some computer skills and a creative side, you might be able to join a micro-jobbing site like Fiverr.

Another option is to sell some of your older things. If that happens to be clothes, that might also help to make some room for your new stuff in your closet.

Good luck.

As the owner of a sweet and wonderful dog, I can understand the attachment people have to pets. In fact, unless you are a pet owner, you likely can't understand that they are truly another member of the family.

That being said, a parent's first responsibility is always to his or her child or children. Simply put, being a true parent means the children come first.

So, in my opinion, the first priority has to be your allergies and asthma. If there is a way to limit the allergens and things that trigger your asthma and still keep the ferret, that would be an ideal solution. However, if there is not, perhaps your mom should consider finding a nice new home for the fury little friend.

As a general rule, it makes sense that grapefruit juice, as one of the main components of the fruit itself, would have a similar effect as eating grapefruit. However, there are some things you will have to watch out for that might make the juice alone less of a good option for weight loss or even a contributor to weight gain.

It's a good start to make sure the juice content is high (like 100% or something near) but you should also be sure that the brand you buy does not contain any added sugar or sodium. Excess sugar will obviously contribute to weight gain and sodium increases cravings which can do the same thing.

The other thing you might want to consider is not to drink it too often. This is because you need a good balance to avoid ingesting excess calories and possibly getting ulcers from the acid in the juice.

So, my recommendation would be to drink it sparingly but also drink plenty of water. The water is a zero calorie option that will also flush out toxins in the body.

Good luck.

First off, I commend you for the fact that you are thinking about the cost to your parents. That's very thoughtful and mature of you.

But, let's get to the issue. Being that you have your own doubts about wanting to do it suggests that it's probably not the way to go, at least for now. You seem to be much more interested in the fun of the game than anything else and that's fine. After all, that's what sports are supposed to be about, especially at your age.

I'd say if you want to keep the option open to try the pitching thing, maybe you can just watch some instructional videos on Youtube or check out a book at the local library that teaches softball fundamentals.

That's how my father and a friend learned about the sport of soccer when they first started coaching a local youth team.

You might even consider talking with grown women who play the game and pitch. They might be willing to work with you or give you some tips on what you can do.

Good luck and have fun.

The answer to your question is yes. This is true at pretty much any age but often even more of the case in the teenage years because you have a lot of hormones working and are coming into your own in terms of sexual development.

Technically, the porn is not unusual either but it is important that you don't let such imagery and video become something of an addiction or affect your relationships with others.

I am a major believer in the mantra "everything in moderation." For example, having an ice cream cone once in a while is fine, but eating a half gallon tub every few days, or worse yet, every day, is not very healthy.

So basically, don't worry about if you are normal or not because you're just fine. The only thing you have to remember is not to allow it to get to the point that it becomes so distracting that you can't focus on other things and people.

Hope that is helpful.

What you are describing is not weird or odd and from a psychological perspective it is certainly somewhere on the spectrum of what one might consider normal sexuality.

Maybe it surprised you a little but that's OK.

Think of it like this, if a young girl is really only attracted to say, men of another race, guys with black hair, tall guys, guys with tattoos etc, we really don't think of it as anything but their personal preference. This is no different.

Just because you like the model of a car that might have a few more miles on it that the one straight off of the assembly line, that doesn't mean your preference is in any way wrong or odd.

Sure, some people might not see it that way but attraction is not built on what other people think or feel but what you do. So if anyone doesn't like it, that is their problem to deal with and not yours.

I hope that helps you out a bit.

Anytime we start something new, for adults like me it may be a new job or moving and for kids like you it is frequently a new school, it can be a little scary. But perhaps the key is to look at it from a different perspective.

Instead of worrying about things, take it as an opportunity to experience something new and exciting.

Sure you may have a little trouble finding your way around at first but this could be your chance to socialize with other kids at the school. To learn the easiest ways to get from class to class would be a good conversation starter.

Everybody is the new kid at some point and even though there will always be some jerks out there, I bet a lot of the other kids will remember that "new kid" feeling and be nice, not out of pity but out of basic human decency.

As far as the bullies go, don't bother with them. The easiest way to get them to leave you alone is just to show them that they don't bother you (even if they do). If they don't feel like they are having an impact on you, they'll move on to someone else. After all, bullies are often bullies because of their own self-esteem issues.

Good luck.

It really depends on why he doesn't want you using deodorant. My guess is that there is some type of ingredient in most, if not all, deodorants that can either slow or stop the infection's healing process or maybe make the treatment ineffective.

If the doctor is OK with it, there are a number of natural products that can be used for the same purpose as a conventional deodorant. One that I myself used for years is a crystal stick.

Although they are technically called Crystal Deodorant Sticks, these don't usually contain things like aluminum chlorohydrate, aluminum zirconium, parabens, phthalates or alcohol, all of which may be the type of stuff the doctor doesn't want in your system.

Good luck and hope you get that infection cleared up soon.

Without knowing the guy and getting to try to understand him, giving a definitive answer here is a little bit hard. that being the case, I'm going to try to answer with some general advice.

Basically, the first thing is I wouldn't feel a need to put a label on it like father figure. The important thing is that he cares about you. Whether that is because he sees you like a daughter, he cares about your mom and thus it filters down to you, he's just a good guy, or any other reason whatsoever, it really doesn't matter.

So, long as he cares about you in an appropriate way, which it seems like he does, that's what counts.

I am very sorry you are going through such a horrible experience. But I honestly think, even if you don't realize it, deep down inside, you don't want to do this. That's probably why you are reaching out. And I commend you for doing so.

I can assure you, without a doubt, that you are not the least attractive person in the world. And if people make it a point to say you are, I think that says more about them than it does about you.

If your friends treat you like crap, they aren't real friends. Did you ever think that maybe they do so because they might envy you for some reason? That happens more often that you might think.

Sometimes family can be difficult as well. But is it possible that they are not trying to treat you badly but their actual intention is not coming across well? For example, when a parent refuses to let a child get his or her driver's license until he or she proves themselves responsible enough that they will be a safe driver. It may seem mean or nasty to the child but it's meant to protect them with a loving purpose.

If they really are just crappy to you, there has to be a reason. That doesn't mean it's you. They may be struggling with their own issues. In any instance, the best bet to sit down and really have a deep conversation with them and possibly seek the help of a therapist.

Even if you don’t use one for this issue, I high recommend seeking out professional mental health services anyway.

You ask if people would be sad if you commit suicide, the answer is yes. I would be saddened by it and I'm sure that would be the same for anyone else who cared enough to answer this question. I am 100% certain that there are people in your life you would miss you dearly, many so much more than you could ever know.

But no matter what, taking your life is not the answer. You can get through this.

There are tons of different phobias out there. This is no different as that it is exactly what you are dealing with.

From my own personal struggles and search for answers, I can only make three suggestions. The first one is to give it a try with another therapist.

Secondly, and likely what a therapist may recommend, I would consider trying a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. One that is proven to have good results for many people is called ERP or Exposure and Response Therapy.

As a last resort, or possibly in conjunction with ERP or visits to a therapist, you can try to look into hypnosis. There are some methods you can find to do it yourself or you can seek out a professional for this as well.

I am confident that over time you can overcome this or at least learn to cope with your phobia in a manner that limits its impact on your life.

Good luck.

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