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Is it weird that I like older men?
I'm a 21-year-old female. I recently noticed that I might have a thing for older guys; late 20s to even late 40s. Sometimes I find myself lusting after them and I feel like it might be totally wrong but still so right. I don't have any "daddy issues" either and I'm definitely not after any guy's money, so my question is: is it weird that as a particularly young college student, I'm attracted to older guys? I've never been in a relationship before so I'm not sure if it's totally normal or I might be confused....
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Theres nothing wrong with this in the least. My hubby and i are 7 years apart, he is older then me and this works for us because ive always been way more mature for my age and tho he may have been 21 and i 14 when we got together, we were at the same place in life for this to work. Still both living at home with our parents, but he with a car, a job, and socially inexperienced in alot of ways that i was not. I lead the way socially and changed him by building his confidence into the man he is now. he was shy, sweet, smart, funny, and devilishly handsome all rolled into one. Thats what i was looking for and after having had lots of guys friends (and still do) and seeing they way they were (and still are even tho their my age) their STILL perverts and dont have their lives together, where as my husband already knew he wanted a family, a good wife, and at the end of the day someone that could make him smile and laugh. thats it.
Age is just a number, its really more about where you are in life, like what phase your and that other person is in. Usually younger guys are still in the "i just wanna have fun, have sex, and play video games or do sports" of some kind phase. Older men have already by there, done that, and are realizing they need to work, have a place and or a car, if they want to attract quality women. even if they are younger somewhat.
Man of quality usually want that "ok lets get serious here" lady. They are feeling the clock ticking too just like women do, only it can be later on in life then us. At least thats how i see it.
good luck
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What you are describing is not weird or odd and from a psychological perspective it is certainly somewhere on the spectrum of what one might consider normal sexuality.
Maybe it surprised you a little but that's OK.
Think of it like this, if a young girl is really only attracted to say, men of another race, guys with black hair, tall guys, guys with tattoos etc, we really don't think of it as anything but their personal preference. This is no different.
Just because you like the model of a car that might have a few more miles on it that the one straight off of the assembly line, that doesn't mean your preference is in any way wrong or odd.
Sure, some people might not see it that way but attraction is not built on what other people think or feel but what you do. So if anyone doesn't like it, that is their problem to deal with and not yours.
I hope that helps you out a bit.
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There are several different ways at looking at why you find yourself more attracted to older men.
One reason for this would be simple comfort reasons. Older men are going to be, in most instances, more gentlemanly especially those in the older ages. They will treat you like a lady. They will wine you, dine you and not be someone you have to fend off all evening. Their objective is the same as the younger male, they will eventually want to have sex with you, it is just they have a bit more fineness about them, generally.
The second reason you might find older men attractive is also about comfort though for different reasons. Is it possible you are still a virgin? If so that is nothing to be ashamed about more so something to be commended for. If you are a virgin or someone who is not very sexually experienced. You might see the older men as someone who sex will be more comfortable with, someone who be gentler. An older male will be someone to make sure the sex is good for you before having his pleasure.
Then of course there is the fact that older men are generally more stable. Have good jobs and ready to settle down. There is a lot less trial and error with an older man. Younger men greatly confuse love and lust and in general see the two words as being synonymous. The older the male the better he knows the difference, the truer his intentions.
There is nothing wrong with any of this if any of these may be your reasons. Be honest with yourself when you think about why you're attracted to an older man and one of these may be the reason.
You have every right to be treated like a lady. No women should be treated like a piece of meat which many young men do. It is not just today's young man; it goes back long before your grandfathers day. Yes our mothers instructed us on how to treat a lady and you will instruct your son on how to treat a lady. Some will but most won't follow what mothers teach them.
Should you be a virgin or sexual novice an older man will be, for the most part much, more considerate when having sex with you. Younger men, in general, are only interested in their pleasure and are not truly concerned with the woman's comfort or pleasure.
Older men are more stable, the older the man the more stable and the more set in his ways. There is a trade off here you need to be comfortable with in being with and possibly marrying a man much older than yourself. That is what you will miss out on by being with and possibly marrying an older man.
For a man in his thirties a night out may not be dinner and dancing. Dinner yes and maybe a play or a movie. Most likely a nice dinner at a fine restaurant and home to bed and maybe some sex or a good book.
Your definitely not confused about anything as I see it. You seem to know what you want just not understanding why you want it. There is nothing abnormal in dating above your age. Age is just a number a way of tracking the years of a life. If in all other respects you find yourself compatible with an older male then go for it.
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It is surely an unjust and even insulting generalisation to suggest that a young woman who finds older men attractive has 'daddy issue' or is a blatant 'gold digger'. We could no doubt find some equally insulting generalisations about older guys who prefer the company of younger women? The thing about 'general cases' is that there is no such thing as a general case. All cases are particular in one way or another. A successful relationship depends on many things, perhaps not least of all a strong feeling of connection. The hard-to-define feeling that the person you are with is somehow 'right' for you and you...well...connect, basically. Being the same (or closely similar) age does not make it happen, or make it probable that it will. Neither does an age gap preclude it in any way (or make it impossible to happen, if you prefer). In fact I don't believe there is any way to contrive or engineer this feeling of connection, or resonance. Just happens mate. If you are attracted to an older guy, then the tendency of human nature is to be drawn towards the thing that attracts us. Keep an open mind is my advice. He won't be right, or wrong just because of his age. It'll be because of who he is. Up close, we see the person as they are. If there is something of an age gap it's probably fair to say that both of you might have to work that little bit harder. You won't always see things with the same eye. Some stuff that is new to you will be very familiar to him already. Socially, you might well find yourself introduced to some new situations and environments. Because it's safe to assume that many things you find enjoyable now will have lost their appeal and been replaced by other interests in, say 7 years time. It might call for a lot of understanding and consideration on both sides. Both being willing to embrace new things. But being willing to share things you might not have enjoyed otherwise, consideration and understanding are very fine things to cultivate in any relationship, don't you think? Look at the person. And look at how regards and treats YOU. If the relationship makes you feel you are just a pretty, young (and probably short-term) amusement and he's condescending towards you then it's not a good idea. If you feel valued and a properly 'equal partner' (to coin a phrase) in all aspects of the relationship, then that's exactly what you are. Regards 'normal' relationship desires, the desire to be loved, valued and respected is the normal one. The one we all want. Find it where you may. ps The 'environment' bit I wrote sounds a bit confusing to ME already. Basically, if he's say, 30 he'll live in a '30 year old world' while you live in a '21 year old world'. You'll both have to be prepared to come out of your respective 'worlds' a bit sometimes. Is that better? I'm sure you know what I mean.
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