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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Since 3yrs I have been married. I am trying to getting adjusted with my mother in law and husband but not successful. Though my husband is good generally in all aspects except on tackling me and my mother in law issues. I have tried to do many adjustments and infact she also but nothing works for long. I have asked many times to my husband that better we will leave separately from inlaws, he said yes but not ready for it finally. On daily or alternate basis something happens, sometimes she gets pinched sometimes I got pinched. It is that bad now that it affects my health, my relation with my husband and with my 3.5 yr old kid. I don't know what to do it now, Iam very depressed and I have developed suicidal tendencies very badly but not in a position to do it as I am lacking that courage to take it.
Please tell what to do?
I want to first address the suicidal thoughts you are having. This is very troubling to me as these thoughts while now just that can easily change. You are depressed that is something you admit to and suicidal thoughts are part of the depression syndrome.
What I would like you to do is see a doctor about your depression and to get help for it. Speaking as someone who has suffered with depression I can tell you that when in a depressive state we do not perceive things exactly as they may be presented to us. This would definitely add to the problems you are writing about.
If you feel actively suicidal call 911 or the emergency help number for the country you live in. Tell the call taker you are feeling suicidal and let them send help to you. You can all so go to any hospital emergency room and tell them you feel suicidal and they will help you.
I don't understand the following lines you wrote; "On daily or alternate basis something happens, sometimes she gets pinched sometimes I got pinched. It is that bad now that it affects my health, my relation with my husband and with my 3.5 year old kid." Who is doing the pinching and why do they pinch you or your mother in-law? How is it affecting your health and your relationship with your child? I can't really address these issues effectively unless I know who is doing so and why. From one point of view it sounds like sexual harassment or spousal abuse. These are legal charges that can be brought most all states.
My next question is about this sentence; “better we will leave separately from in-laws." From this I assume you live with your in-laws and he is not ready to move out. If this is true and you are being abused by him or your father in-law then my advice is simple. You take your child and you and the child move someplace safe. Tell your husband if you wish to continue your marriage, that when he is ready to leave mommy and daddy he will be welcome to share your bed and home.
If you decide to follow my suggestion make sure you see a lawyer and have the proper paperwork done to insure your husband is court ordered to support you and your child. This is very important for today when court ordered his paycheck will be attached by the courts to insure you receive the funds the court decides you are entitled to for child support.
So I watched a YouTube video about the Illuminati or something. I was stupid and was researching all this stuff and started getting scared over all of it. I'm scared about like people taking over the world and everything. How can I stop this feeling? I'm honestly really scared right now.
First understand that what you watched was made for entertainment purposes primarily. It was designed to in a sense alarm or scare you for the purpose of entertainment. The chances of this happening are slim to none and as the saying goes, slim left the building about twenty minutes ago.
Okay I'm making light of this a bit and I do so on purpose for there is no reason to be scared unless you allow yourself to be scared. There are lots of ways to scare yourself almost to the point of being paralyzed with fear. There are some people who are paralyzed with fear to the point they will not leave the safety of their homes.
Programs like this for the entertainment value increase the level of fear with background music and with the announcers voice and how the announcer adds to what is being seen on the screen. I like to watch several real life programs with a high degree of danger to what is being shown. You may be familiar with one it's called Deadliest Catch. The narrator and the music does a great job of increasing the level of danger you see with his narration and the background music. The job is dangerous and many of these fishermen do die each year doing this job. One thing I know is they will never show anything like that on this program but they will do everything they can to excite the viewer to that point for the entertainment value.
The same is true with most all of these programs including the one you watched on Illuminati. The program was designed to increase the level of anxiety of those who viewed it WHILE THE WATCHED. Now that the program is over your good sense should return and you should understand that this was just entertainment. Yes it was entertainment based in fact as the wished to present it. The chances of this ever happening are so minimal that you should not be this worried.
Just keep reminding yourself that this program was more fiction than fact designed to entertain you. When you start to believe this your fear will go away.
My parents are going through severe financial difficulties. I'm a student still at home at 21 as I can't afford to move out. I recently reconnected with my ex boyfriend whom my parents and brother disagree of. We had a big verbal fall out and broke up months ago. He was a big drinker but quit almost a year ago in order to save our relationship. He says he loves me and I love him. My family found out about this and have threatened that if I so much as befriend my ex I'll be kicked out, and that I've somehow betrayed them all. I seen my brothers messages to his girlfriend and they're quite abusive towards me. My family stalked and followed me to his house. They've become increasingly paranoid and I feel vulnerable and bullied by their behaviour. Should I try to move out? I can't stay any longer. It's constant verbal abuse and I'm not even sure what for any more. I always try to keep the peace but they are taking it too far telling me who to hang out with and even following me. Please advise me as I'm so shocked by their abusive words. I want my boyfriend back but don't want to lose my family, even though they're being cruel through their own problems. It's like they blame me and him for their own difficulties.
It is unfortunate but when you live at home and are being financially supported by your parents you must abide by their rules regardless of how rude, obnoxious or abusive they may be.
I do agree with you that some of the problems you are suffering are ones of transference where as they are making problems for you so they can ignore their own. This would fall under the heading of obnoxious and abusive though there is not much you can do about it.
I would prefer to tell you to stick it out and finish school then move out. It sounds like this may not be possible for you to do and maintain your sanity. At the very least you should feel safe rather than vulnerable and bullied in your own home regardless of who is paying the rent.
Therefore my suggestion would be to find an apartment you can afford. If you need to drop out of school to get a job do so and go to school at night to finish your schooling and get your degree.
You are an adult now and your parents should give you the respect of an adult. You are not the cause of their problems and it is unfair the transfer their problems to you. The best thing for you to do is to disassociate yourself to the extent you can as soon as you can.
I'm 19 and my bf is 24 and we have a 10 month old kid together. We have roommates that live with us so our son sleeps in our room in his crib. Me and my boyfriend hardly ever have sex and he said he doesn't really care for it n that its just not important to him. I want sex pretty much every day but I would settle for once a week I guess. He doesn't even make me feel wanted. He isn't very touchy feely I'm the one that usually initiates the kissing or touching. He doesn't like to cuddle or hold each other we sleep on our own sides of the bed and I feel like were an old married couple that no longer even have any interest in sex. I'm driving myself crazy here!!! I got birth control because he had said we don't really have sex because he doesn't wanna get me pregnant again and I got that last month and since then we have only had sex once. How do I make him wanna have sex more. Y is he being like this? Please help me!!!
The first thing you need to do is get rid of the roommates so the baby is not in the same room as you. At 10 mos. old the baby should be sleeping in his own room.
Now to answer your question I can only guess at the answer. I would guess that your pregnancy was not planned. He is doing the right thing by staying with you and supporting you and the baby. He is probably not ready to have another child and he may have not been ready for this one.
Having an unplanned child can be a real libido killer for a male his age. Now the fact that a pregnancy happened is a much his fault as yours since he could have taken precautions to prevent a pregnancy and worn a condom which are over 85% effective in preventing a pregnancy.
He may feel trapped having to stay at home when he could be out whooping it up with his friends. This is very possible and if so he blames you even though he is as much at fault as your are. Even though some of what he is mad about missing you are right there beside him climbing the walls to give him.
Yes he very well could be being a little childish about this. Then again even at the young age of 19 and being a mom you are more mature than his 24 years in many ways. what you need to do is as I said first get rid of the roommates so you can have a little privacy not only in the bedroom but in your own home.
You're looking for more sex. He is most likely looking for excitement and spontaneity. You can't have that because your sex, cuddling or foreplay has to take place in the bedroom almost on a plan, with the baby right next to you.
Most importantly than any of the above as that is all a guess, is you two have to talk, to have a serious conversation about life now and the future. You need to know exactly how he feels and he about how you feel about this relationship. Does he feel trapped because of the baby. Is he doing the right thing, as it is called, be cause he feels the moral obligation to do so. What does he see as a future for you and him and the baby. The same from you.
This is important for do you really want someone who is only with you out of a moral obligation. What type of a father will that be for your son? What type of home will you be able to make for him? These are important question.
From a legal standpoint the father is financially responsible for the child until he is 18. This may be the better option for all concerned with 2 lawyers working out the details and a judge making it a lawful order. The you each go your separate ways, he pays his child support and has his visitation if he wants.
This is far better than frustration building up to the point where someone gets abused or worse and someone ends up in jail.
Someone is blackmailing on kik. I sent him nude photo of mine, he want me to send again if I will not he said that he will post it online website wherein all country can see it. I dont know what to do. He said that he will spread it and all my friends can see it. Im afraid Im fron Hungary. Need help
Some advice for the future; NEVER SEND ANYONE A PICTURE YOU WOULD NOT SHOW YOUR FATHER OR BROTHER. ONCE IT LEAVES YOUR POSSESSION YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT AND IT CAN POP UP AT ANYTIME FROM NOW TO WHENEVER IN THE FUTURE.
Now as to the Blackmail. Blackmail is illegal in all countries. If you have proof of this then go to the police. All you need for proof would be an email from him DEMANDING another picture and if he doesn't get it telling you what he will do.
Without the proof you can still go to the police and tell them he has a nude picture of you. If you are not an adult then he is in possession of child pornography. By threatening to put the picture on the web he will be distributing child pornography. Both being in possession and the distribution of child pornography is a crime for which he can go to jail even as a juvenile himself. Child pornography is illegal in most all countries including yours.
If you want, although I do not advise you doing so; you can threaten him with the fact that you are going to the police with his blackmail threat and not only can he be charged with Blackmail. He can also be charged with several crimes under child pornography laws. He may tell you otherwise but the law is on your side even though you freely gave him the picture.
The age of consent and the age of being an adult can be two separate ages. It is generally accepted that a child is not an adult until they reach age 18. For the age of consent as for consenting to sex that age varies from country to country and in some places like the USA from State to state and can be as young as 14 or as old as 18.
The threat alone should be sufficient to stop him with your picture. My feeling is if he is threatening you he will threaten others so lets stop it now and let the police handle it. You send one boy to jail or at the very least have to face a judge in court and explain himself; a message is sent to thousands of other boys that this is wrong.
I know you do not want to go to your parents with this though you should. Yes they will be upset as you have done a foolish thing in giving this boy this type of picture. As a parent myself I would rather you come to me and tell me what has happened, what is happening and ask for my help then have one of my friends or coworkers tell me their son has a nude picture of you and all his friends have one two.
Right now with pornography laws against child pornography the police can confiscate every digital recording device he has. Once the police has those devices they can delete the pictures. This is the only way to make sure the pictures go no further.
YEs your parents may punish you. Is it not better to be punished than be too embarrassed to leave the house?
So my boyfriend is still a virgin & i know hes a clean guy. I gave him head the other day and i swalled. Now im paranoid because i read that HIV can be passed through oral. Is that true even though hes never been sexually active?
There are no documented cases of HIV/AIDS being transferred through oral sex. Theoretically it is possible under the right circumstances that the HIV virus can be transferred through Oral sex.
If your boyfriend is truly a virgin, never having any type of sexual activity before including Oral sex and you are not a virgin, you didn't say. Then the greater possibility would be for you to give the virus to him if you had any sores in your mouth or any bleeding gums.
As a general rule though if the boy is clean and has used condoms when having sex the chances of getting HIV/AIDS through oral sex, including swallowing are statistically very low.
Since you are concerned and since it is a good thing to do with each new partner before you engage in sex. I would suggest you both go and have STD and HIV tests.
1. For the experience.
2. Because it is something you should do before having sex with any new partner.
3. TO put your mind at rest that you don't have the HIV virus.
Since I believe you to be under age I would be remiss if I didn't add the following.
Sex is wonderful between two loving people. Sex is not a recreational sport or to be used to prove your love for someone. Sex is the end result of your love for someone.
I realize young people have sexual needs brought on by all the new sexual hormones brought on by puberty, hence the term horny. This does not mean you have to have sex with everyone you date. There are ways to relieve the sexual tension without have sex with some.
Masturbation is safe, normal and just as enjoyable. What masturbation does not have is the chance of getting pregnant,impregnating someone or getting an STD. It can also be done in the privacy of your bedroom , shower or bath. It is also not a sin. While not condoned by the church it is not considered a mortal sin by any Church or temple.
i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally.
It is not all that abnormal to be confused about one's gender. What my concern is whether you are a true transgender or a cross-dresser. Being a cross-dresser does not mean your a Lesbian or a transgender.
Since you say you are considering having a sex change operation I suggest you seek out a psychologist who specializes in gender confusion and sex changes. IF you want to have a sex change you must do two things before you can have the operation,
First; you must live as a male for two years. This means living as a male, which includes using the men's public bathrooms and other facilities unless barred by law, dressing as a male and all things male. No make-up, men's hair cuts and so on.
Second; you must receive a minimum of two years of psychiatric counseling from two practitioners. This would include a psychologist and a psychiatrist to certify that from a mental standpoint you understand fully what is happening and you are mentally competent to make this decision.
By seeing a psychologist to help you sort out whether you are a true transgender who, should start the transition to male, or someone who is more of a cross-dresser. You are also starting the process for a transgender if this is what you truly want.
None of us are doctors and I do not believe any of us have the expertise to advise you as to which you may be. The best advice is to see a professional who can offer you the advice you need.
I started dating a girl in December, I'm not going to say all the normal love stuff, because, this was a normal relationship, we believed we were perfect for eachother, we loved eachother, ect. Her parents liked me, I went to church and all with them, they were Catholic I'm Baptist.
Well, she would always say how she's always hungry, she doesn't eat as much (later finding out they sometimes don't give her food for like a day or two), her parents call her names like slut, whore, bitch, just cause their mad or so, or they'd slap her, like, they slap her all the time when they don't get their way basically. Sometimes they whip them (her and her sister) with a belt I believe, but it never leaves bruises so she thinks it's "not illegal" because of that, but it burns and hurts her like hell. One time she said "my mother whipped me with a belt 15 times because I drew on the blinds"
Anyways on with the story, everything was normal, until the day before valentines day, her mom grounded her because we were 30 minutes late from the lake which was half a mile away. February 17th or 18th I forget, she got in a argument with her mom, as always the slapping, name calling, she was unhappy. We ran away in the middle of the night together, she said she was going to run away even if I didn't.
So, I protected her, we ran away, we were gone for 18 hours. When we came back, we went into the house and talked to the parents, well, the parents are HIGHLY manipulative and all so remember this later. The mother said how she doesn't even want my girlfriend there, if it wasn't for the dad she wouldn't be there, and responsibility this responsibility that, basically saying their all gonna die if she doesn't do things right, her mother is literally mentally unstable or something... The cop came obviously, the dad said I was a good kid he liked me and all, and we hugged when I left. Everything was normal.
The next day I went there, the mom was mad obviously, we hanged out for 2 or 3 weeks in a normal way. Then I had to goto another state for 3 weeks, I told them I was leaving, and I really was, but I had problems and went to the state over instead with my family for 5 days. Well, we snuck out when I got back because we knew we wouldn't be able to see eachother until the weekend, we always wanted to see eachother. This wasn't the first time we snuck out, and we've been caught 3 times before by her parents. They forgave us though each time.
This time, I lied to the mom sadly saying I was in Missouri. Acted like I was worried the next day ect, the sister had told the mom the truth I guess. The mother 2 days later (March 7th) filed a Protection Order, for no legit reason. Ill say the statements later. The P.O. was served to me March 9th
The dad, is like loyal to the wife because their catholic and all, not to bash the religion in any way. But he just is. I know he would never do this, he didn't file anything. Anyways I went to the house to reconcile with him and he just kept saying go, go, go bla bla no reason then just started saying I was too old. He knew I wasnt, he liked me, he was just doing this for the wife. Cops ended up coming I still refused to leave because I wanted to reconcile, then they tresspassed me.
Anyways, March 17th, I went to walmart, they were all there, the dad walked like "Hey (my name), I see you got a job!" What? "You're wearing your uniform!" Oh yeah "Well, bye!" he was all happy and everything.
After seeing me 3 more times he left with my gf to the car.
March 20th came, the P.O. court date, the statements on it were "Ran away, sneaking out to the lake several times, reporting bullying and saying everything will be okay" I reported her being bullied from people.. And they think thats bad? Hah. Well, the mom anyways. We told the judge about how their using me as a disclipinary tool, how they call her names and mental abuse, how I always just helped her. Not really detailing it but that's short for it, Judge said "Everything was in good intentions for her nothing was done wrong, all he did was help her." and set the P.O. for 3 months.
We got letters on March 24th and March 27th saying how they hurt her she doesn't wanna be there that they say their the "dictators" of the family and they slap her, call her bitch and slut, and that her Aunt threatened to kill me and has a plan and a gun in her car. And will do anything for her mom she doesn't care cause she loves her mom.
Sad.
April 3rd we violated it, she was being starved I heard so I was going to take her to McDonalds, cops caught us within 5 minutes because I "ran a stop sign", well I was on a slope. It was dark, so yeah.
April 9th, the mother chased me, followed me, I ran from her to my friends house and a cop started grabbing me for no reason when he came to investigate so I pushed him and got charged for assault and battery and a violation, went to jail for 6 days. I really did nothing wrong, this cop just started grabbing me then shoving me into the police car because I yelled my mothers number at my friend because he wouldnt let me call her, I KNEW the cops wouldn't call her thats why I tried. Cop wasnt listening to me say they were chasing me before all this, he detained me as soon as he saw me in my truck he said get out and I did then I was like am i being detained he was like yes. He cant do that without any further cause...
So yeah I was arrested. Went to jail for 6 days and now I'm under 24/7 supervision for awhile, we believe their going to give me probation in another state...
Well, we have around 3 open DHS cases on her, then 2 more from other people we believe. But DHS hasn't visited her since ending of March, its May now. And their all open cases.
Now here's where things get interesting, this just happened, and is why I'm looking for help.
2 days ago she showed up to my house, freezing, wet, covered in grass. It was a 4 mile walk to out here, through the lake woods and all. I was so sad I let her in, got her my sweats and got her warm, held her, she explained what happened how they hurt her and she doesn't wanna be there, she showed me a bruise which is the size of a french fry, my friend and her said it was bigger, it's 4 days old, still blood red.
Her mother ended up showing up, we called the cops, but she was saying she doesn't wanna be there they hurt her they hit her they call her names and just wanted help... A Sheriff came in, I was in the other room then because the PO, my mother was with them, my Gf had said all I've said how they hurt her and call her names she doesnt wanna be with them shes scared and unhappy and some stories on how they hurt before.
So sheriff took her to the police car and then talked to us then talked to her parents. There was another sheriff here then, they pulled out a letter. They talked for like 30 minutes. Now before we continue, this family is highly manipulative, believable, looks normal but when you leave their house their evil and hitting her. They've lie to the POLICE (not sheriff) to think were Sex Traffickers, idk if they believe it just because "were from Arizona" and my mother said it was okay if my Gf wanted to live with us, when she ran away, if it was okay with the parents. So because of that they lie about some stuff.
My gf said to the sheriff how when the police come her parents make them goto the room and their never really questioned or get to talk that the police and her parents just get along... So now theres gonna be more DHS and police involved I guess.
Anyways, sheriff sent her back with the mom, said theres going to be in-house DHS counciling, police, and all. It's devestating because my GF absoloutely doesnt want to be with them, they seriously hurt her. They wont let her go with her real mom the sheriff said "THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE" in a loud voice, because the mother lied to them we think.
The letter the mother showed them was a letter, in short, saying "I'm running away to see (my name)" which ruined everything I think. Because cops said she didn't run away because they hurt her, which is WHY she did run away, she told me, but yes, she came to me to tell me first, she wanted help they do hurt her.
What can we do?!
I've made about a 6 page letter to the dad since theres no Protection Order from him...
Were not doing this just so we can see eachother, that's part of the reason, but they really hurt her she wants out.
I have just turned 17 and she has just turned 15, at the end of April and beginning of May.
When she came here she said her mother had said "Now I see why (cousins name) mother let her boyfriend move in."
I find your story somewhat outrageous though this does not mean I don't believe you. From what I read I see you need, especially your girlfriend, and adult advocate who can not only advocate for her but as a matter of law must protect her.
The best person for this would be a trusted teacher or her school principal. As a matter of law if a child goes to one of them with a problem like hers they must protect her. Whipping a child with a belt even on the butt is child abuse not discipline. There is a very fine line between discipline and abuse and it has been crossed in what you are reporting here.
You say there are no bruises from these whippings. This is not quite true. There will be welts and possibly some bruising. If she is whipped on the butt she may be too embarrassed to show anyone the bruises but she has to in order to prove the abuse.
You are too young to be her advocate and being as young as you are the courts are going to put little stock in what you tell them. This is why she needs to tell a trusted adult such as a teacher or principal what her home life is like.
When she is next whipped with a belt she needs to tell this person. If as I belief she is whipped where the welts and bruises are not apparent, such as her butt. The school will call the police who will take her to a hospital where a doctor and nurse will document the abuse. This documentation will stand up in court and be hard for her mother to refute.
When it is child versus parent or children versus adults, lacking substantial evidence as you have written; it is unfortunate the courts have no choice but to rule for the parents.
I think it is admiral of you to try and protect her and you have done well in your attempt. Now if she will follow my advice and confide in a trusted teacher she will have the evidence she needs to prove she is an abused child.
If school is already out for the year before she can confide in a teacher or before she is whipped again. Then the next time her mother whips her, beats her and leaves welts or bruises that can be seen. She should call 911 for help and tell the 911 call taker what has happened to he. Her mother cannot turn away the fire department, police and paramedics until the paramedic has examined her and found her to be okay. If found otherwise she will be taken to the hospital both for a doctors examination and protection.
Hey guys, I'm 19/f and my boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 years and a half now. Our relationship is perfect except for one thing, and that is I'm not social at all. I'm more of a quiet, laid back person. My bf in quite the opposite. He loves to be social and I think he has been avoiding calling me because when we talk on the phone most of time he does all the talking and he talks for a very long time. Sometimes I interact and say a few things but I always feel like it's never good enough. He has tried to make me more social but it never works. Sometimes I think he deserved better like someone who he can talk to and get feedback and I'm not that person. What can I do?
Lets see; you two have been together for a year and a half. He calls you on the phone and does all the talking and you do the listening. You think he would prefer someone more social more talkative?
Why, you have been together a year and a half, and as you say the relationship is perfect. Why suddenly are you questioning this? If he wanted something, someone different do you think he would still be calling you or continue this relationship with you.
Remember opposites do attract and this makes for great relationships. Also if something isn't broken don't try to fix it. Yes it is okay to have some insecurities from time to time especially at your young age. Based on what you have written I see no reason to question this relationship. If he wanted something more from your relationship he would either say something or find someone else.
Since it appears from what you have written he is neither asking anything of you and you are not aware he is looking for someone else. My suggestion is to relax and enjoy your relationship with him.
Hello, I'm 19/F. I know for sure that my bf ignores me sometimes. When I talk to him about it he always say that ignoring someone is very disrespectful and he would never do that but still he does. I've ask asked him tons of times if he ever ignores me and he always say no but I'm very sure he does sometimes. The problem is I'm sick and tired of asking him because he would think I'm an insecure person or something and no one what's that. What should I do?
I know how you feel no one likes to ignored. I once pulled a nasty trick on my boss who swore he read all of our weekly sales reports. I wrote in one of mine what a great time his wife and I had on the town that week and while the expense for the night were on my expense report there was no way he would find it.
Well he never called me so I called him. Again he swore he read the report, I know his secretary read it for she called me on it. I asked her not to say anything. When he said he had read it I asked him to have his secretary bring the report in, this time that portion was highlighted for him to read. Fortunately we were good friends and all he did was call me some names I won't repeat but I accomplish my objective. I cannot say he read everyone's weekly reports but from that point on he read mine.
That won't work for you but maybe this will. Find the most obnoxious shirt you can and buy it for your boyfriend. Of course you talk to him about it first and if he is ignoring you he probably won't say anything to you. Then give it to him. When he reacts to it as I suspect he will. Remind him that you did tell him you were going to buy the shirt for him and expected him to wear hit but as usual he wasn't listening.
As they say the proof is in the proving. Don't spend a lot of money on this, What I'm saying is there are ways to prove to him, as I did, that as much as he say's he is you know he is not listening to you.
Its been almost 3 years and they have had there good times and bad times but today i didnt talk to her because I didnt want to fight and when we spoke she kept fighting with me... I feel like dying because she is my life and i am so stressed out, what should I do?
Sometimes arguing is as a form of stress release or so some psychologists may say. Constant bickering and arguing I don't think can be good for a relationship.
What you two need to do is find out when and why you argue. When I say "when" I don't me where you are or the time of day so much as I do when you argue what proceeds the argument, what is it you are doing or attempting to do. Has one of you just come home from work and the other starts asking questions?
Example; I arrive home before my wife, I have time to relax. My wife comes in the door and the first question I have is, "what's for dinner." She has no interest in dinner at that time, she wants to relax, tell me about her day and basically de-stress. An argument usually erupted until we talked about it. Now I ask how her day went and we talk about other things before we discuss the evenings dinner plans. Result much less arguments.
This is what I mean by when. Is this example anything like when your arguments start? Two people in love can argue over the most ridiculous things simple because of the closeness of the relationship. If you love each other you need to find out what the root cause of these arguments are. You would be surprised how silly some of these things are and how simply the can be corrected. Sometimes it requires a disinterested third party such as a couples counselor to help you root out the root cause of your arguments and fix the problem.
Just remember that just as it takes two to Tango it takes two to argue. If she is the one who usually starts the arguments, then next time one starts take her in your arms hug her tight, kiss her and tell her everything is okay. You will be surprised how fast the argument goes out of her. Stress is a big cause of arguments and by giving her a big hug and a kiss, assuring her she is safe and loved can be a huge stress relief to her.
So my boyfriend and I broke up for about 2 months now and I was begging him to be back with me for a while.. We were together for almost 2 years and we've broken up once before but got back together after 3 months of me trying to see him and convince him. Well lately ive been in no contact with him for a month now and he's always checked my snapchat stories ever since. Suddenly yesterday when i posted a picture of me on instagram of my trophy from tae kwon do competition he liked it right away. What does that like mean? I still have feelings for him but im trying not to hurt myself with high hopes but its hard still. The purpose of me in NC is just for me to heal a bit, improve myself, and ultimately make him miss me.
Sometimes things are meant to be and sometimes they are not meant to be. You can try as hard as you want you cannot force something to happen either. It would appear you are more in love with this boy then he is with you and are reading way too much into a simple liking of a photograph.
In liking your photo all he really did was congratulate you on your award. You do not have to be in love with someone to congratulate then just be their friend or even a distant acquaintance.
My suggestion is you start looking for a new boyfriend. One who will love you and treat you for the person you are. Someone who will let you know how much you truly mean to him.
I am a 17 year old female and my cousin who is 42 years old says she noticed that I have been acting differently and wanted to know if I had sex with my boyfriend and I lied and told told her no but wh en in reality I did should I have toold her the truth
I can understand why you lied. Her question most likely caught you off guard and unprepared to answer. Whether or not you are having sex is a very personal question especially at your age still living at home with your parents and still considered a minor regardless of the fact of whether or not you are above the age of consent. The age of consent and legal age of being considered an adult are two different things.
A person’s sex life is just that, \"THEIR SEX LIFE.\" This cousin is an adult when she asked you that question is she the type of an adult you could confide in or would she have gone straight to your mom and reported you were now sexually active.
I believe that question is the one you had to react to on the fly and your answer was if I say yes she is going to go to mom and tell her. If this is the case you had every right to say what you did and no reason to correct your lie. If on the other hand she is a relative that you can confide in and wish to confide in so as to ask questions of, should you have any? Then yes you can go to her and correct your lie but only for that reason.
No one has any reason to know anything about another person’s sex life unless that person wants to share it. In fact until you reach 18, and have full medical confidentiality, you have a limited medical confidentiality under a federal law called HIPPA covering your reproductive system.
This law was crafted by congress so that young people 14 years of age and older would seek medical assistance when needed or get information concerning their reproductive system from doctors, without fear or their parents’ knowledge of them doing so. These visits to doctors having anything to do with their reproductive systems are totally confidential. Doctors cannot by law discuss these visits with anyone without your written consent to do so.
This also means mom cannot be in the exam room with you for any type of female exam. Mom cannot make a doctor’s appointment for a female examination or force you to have one. If you do have one at moms request the doctor cannot give a report to mom without your permission.
NOTE: The doctor cannot tell if you are a virgin or sexually active based on an examination only. Just that your Hyman is missing which is not a sign of loss of virginity or sexual activity. Also under this law you can ask for birth control medication and the doctors’ must prescribe it.
While I have provided more information then you requested; I did so as I felt you needed this information and it backs up my reasoning as to why I feel you did not do anything wrong in answering no to your cousin.
It is my feeling she had not right to ask you that question in the first place. Given the way the question was put to you had every right to answer the way you did.
Just for the record I\'m old enough to be your grandfather. Others my age may feel differently. Being 17 and above the age of consent in most states. The only thing I can suggest is to take the proper precautions if you are to remain sexually active.
Boyfriend is withdrawing how to spark his interest again
You have posed your question with insufficient information to give you a good answer. For instance it would be good to know your ages. Why, for one thing it would be nice to have this information so we would know if you are of legal age to go to certain types of clubs and make certain types of purchases.
Do you two live together, do one of you have an apartment where you can have some privacy. This too is important in what type of suggestions can be made.
Asking an open ended question as you have without any type of supporting information makes answering it next to impossible. If you do not wish to share this information for the world to see. Pick an advisor to ask this question of in a private message. Then only you and the advisor can see your information. After the question is answered you have the opportunity to delete the question as well, further reducing the chances someone will know who you are by your question.
In most instances when you write to us the more information you provide the better the answer you will receive. There is no limit on the space you use to write your question. Just use good paragraphing to make it easier to read.
I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't feel happy at all lately I know this has nothing to do with relationships it's mostly about me but I feel like I need to talk to someone , iv changed so much in like 2 years I don't myself anymore I'm hardly happy.. I feel like my mood changes a lot , lately I feel so alone like there's no one I can count on. The past few days I just randomly break down crying cause I feel like I'm trapped and there's some sort of void missing in my life I feel like I need to be happy , and it feels so weird because I'm someone that has everything in life but what's everything with out happiness? I don't know what to do I feel like I cry a lot I feel like I'm going crazy mentally broken down.
I\'m not a doctor but I am familiar with the points doctors use to screen a person for depression. In your writing to us you hit a few of them.
All of us get depressed from time to time it is normal. What you need to find out is if your depression symptoms are representative of clinical depression for which medication, treatment or both are appropriate or simple depression we all suffer from at times.
Clinical depression is a lot like diabetes in that the body is not making enough of one or two chemicals to handle the stress, stress be the primary cause of depression, you may be under and control your mood. If not you end up in a depressive state. This is easily fixed and unlike diabetes if medication is recommended it is usually only short term to help you get back to your normal self. The medication is actually a synthetic of the hormones you are lacking.
What I suggest is you make an appointment to see your family doctor for a complete physical. You\'re going to need one to rule out any organic problem for how you feel anyway. While you are there ask the doctor to screen you for depression. It is a non-invasive test that is simply a number of questions the doctor will ask by which a diagnosis can be made.
So, I got two weeks leave with very little notice and I want to take my family on a trip, but everything is so expensive at the last moment. :( Any suggestions on how to make a happy family trip memory without going in debt for life?
Thank you all!
This is a tough question to answer for someone you don\'t know and do not know their finances. For instance if it is affordable, last minute deals on cruises can be heavily discounted depending on how many cabins the ship has available. Cruise lines hope to break even on the cabin rentals and look to make their profit off the sale of alcohol and items sold onboard the gifts shops.
Road trips can be very nice, affordable and back door educational by visiting National parks. If you can find a mobile home to rent campgrounds are inexpensive and a great way for family\'s to relax and reconnect.
These are the best that I can think of without knowing more about your families likes, dislikes and financial abilities.
I am i girl and i am a young teen. And i am 13 . I have this friend n we watch porn together.. Dont hate. We have been THAT horny that we hump n grind, but with clothes on.. Normally. A couple of time we have done it naked under a cover , n another time we like played with each other not put our finger up just did circles around the top of each others fanny. I enjoyed it tbh n she did to but weve never kissed n we r into boys still. But i REALLY want someone to like finger me but what i would really like is someone to lick me out .. But im definitly not gunna ask her that would be embarrassing . But ive got this other friend that watched porn with me before but not full on porn . N we decieded to play dares but we didnt no what dare each other so i searched it on youtube. I wanted it to come up with like kissing but it didnt. And i havmt had my first kiss yet(emebarrassing..)But i want to be able to kiss somebody. Im sorry for being long i just need some advice so pleeeaase help me :) thankyou xxxx
First your not a lesbian. Lesbian is how you are born not something you learn to be and you would have felt this long before your present age.
what is happening is you and these girl friends are experimenting with your sexuality. This happens to us all when we start through puberty to both boys and girls. It is totally normal.
Why do we experiment with some one with the same sex. Simple it is safer and less embarrassing to so. Also parents are less likely to be concerned with two people of the same sex being behind closed doors together or spending the night sleeping in the same room or even in the same bed.
You are not only experimenting with your sexuality and learning about how your body responds. You are also relieving the sexual tension building up within you because of the new hormones puberty has brought out. What you are doing can come under the heading of mutual masturbation.
This is all normal and will continue to be normal well through college but for other reasons as you go through college. So relax you are not a lesbian and you are very normal for your age.
As for kissing somebody that will come when the time is right. Don\'t be surprised if you and one of your girlfriends decide one day to practice kissing on each other. For girls this is totally normal as well.
Is it possible & worth cleaning the slate & restarting a 15yr relationship when he has cheated & lied about it to your face for 6yrs that you know of! And you ALWAYS believed him when you ask him questions,and he also tries to avoid or stay on the question. Basically BROKE my trust & faith in him! And other issues in relationship but KNOWS he cares & have tried to breakup before but ALWAYS drawn back! THERE IS A COSMIC LIKE CONNECTION BETWEEN US lim 35 he is 37
I wish you had provided a bit more information about your relationship. Are you two married, do you have children? Is his cheating a long term affair or with several different affairs.
The reason for the question is that for questions such as yours. I feel it is not our place, generally, to tell you what to do but to give you guidance as to what you might want to do. There are times when it is best to end a relationship; most of this time it is when the wife or person writing to us is being abused.
When one party in a relationship cheats there is a reason for it. Sometimes it is the fault of the other party and sometimes it is not. Most of the time it is the result of some insecurity on the part of the person cheating.
You ask; \"Is it possible & worth cleaning the slate & restarting a 15yr relationship.\" I really cannot answer this question as I do not know you, but you can answer this question by honestly answering these questions:
1. Do I still love him?
2. Can I learn to forgive him?
3. Will I ever learn to trust and respect him?
These are three very important questions for which I believe the answer must be yes before you can move forward.
If you do not love him anymore, can you learn to love him again? If you cannot forgive him why can\'t you. Last why can\'t you learn to trust and respect him again? These are the questions you need to answer to those questions you have answered no to. When you have answered this question or questions then you have one more question to ask yourself. Will counseling help resolve these or these issues you have?
I have gone through this process of self-questioning with you for I believe you are on the fence of whether or not to go through the effort and pain of the process of cleaning the slate & restarting. I believe when you go through this process you will have the answer and it will be the correct answer for you.
I'm 19 and he's 27. We've been dating for 4 months, we're in love and I can't picture my future without him. Though, I'm afraid problems will occur regarding our age difference. Not so much what people think and say, more of me worrying if it will cause problems between us.
Whenever we go grocery shopping, he can't buy alcohol with me. I can't go with him to any event that is serving alcohol. It makes me feel utterly indifferent, I have 3 more years until I can drink. That's just one problem that has occurred regarding the age difference.
I would just like know, do any of you fellow Yahoo users know of any cliche and or very real situations that can occur because of a vast age difference in a relationship? I'm not looking for relief, I would just like to know of what could come and prepare for it.
As far as I\'m concerned you are both adults and your ages are just numbers. It is really up to you two as to whether or not you let the difference in the numbers be a problem.
Yes there are some establishments that do not allow people under the legal age to drink on their premises. There are just as many that do allow under age adults on their premises, they just do not serve them. The law provides they not be served; it says nothing about the underage person drinking from their date’s glass. This is a loophole in the law that some owners are willing to take a chance with, others are not so they exclude those under the legal drinking age.
As for other problems you might face, those are really up to you. My in-laws were 6 years apart in age with my father in-law being the younger person. Yes my mother in-law was teased that she robbed the cradle. Her answer was, \"so what.\" She believed as I do that their ages were just a number, if anyone had a problem it was their problem not hers. They married, had a loving relationship that produced a son and daughter. I married their daughter and got the better end of the deal as I got her mother for a mother in-law.
There is nothing to prepare for. If you love each other then any obstacles people might throw in your direction can be overcome. The only warning I will throw out is he being 27, has already sown his wild oats and is ready to settle down. At 19 you have not experienced many of the things young adults will experience in their early 20\'s. If you can reconcile fore going these experiences then you can have a wonderful life together.
Ok so i need advice so me and my gf been together for bout 3 years well on and off and we have a beautiful 2 year old son i love him to death well me and gf have talked about getting married and etc.. but i feel da same way but idk like we argue a hell of alot and she dont trust me and i dont trust her but its not really dat i recently talked to my ex that i dated in 2009 to 2011 and we was sooo in love but it was long distance so we never seen each other in person but we video chatted all da time so now that i got a good job and able to pay for da trip see her now and idk what to to be honest she was da only girl i ever trusted and she knew better den anybody and we had so much in common but now all i think about is what if i had seen her just once in person how wud it been like wen i talked to her tonight we both just lit up and just talked bout how we used to be and we broke up cause we was far away but i wanna know if i should go or not like i know if i tell my gf she just gonna get emotional but i just wanr this thought to be gone out my head please help
Life is full of \"What if\'s\" along with \"should a,\" \"could a\" done. Fact is you and your present girlfriend have a child together. You owe it to your son to be a father to him. To help raise him to be a responsible young man and to teach him things only a father can.
That does not mean you must stay in the present relationship either, as from the sound of things, this is not good for him either. You do though need to stay near your son so you can remain in his life if you do decide to leave this relationship.
What you need to do before you make a decision to leave is to try and make this relationship work. What you need to do is find out why you two do not trust each other. This I believe is probably the cause of the arguments. Once you identify the why of it then you can work to correct the problem. There must be something there that keeps you two together and because of it you two have a beautiful son together. You need to find and rekindle what brought you two together in the first place.
The best way I know to do this is with couples counseling. In counseling you have a disinterest third party to bounce things off of. Who will tell you if who’s right or wrong and how you can go about fixing things.
Staying in a bad relationship for the sake of the child is not the right thing to do. The child will suffer if the parents do stay in a bad relationship. Trying to fix a bad relationship so that a child can benefit from a two parent home is the right thing to do before you make the decision to walk away. Of course trying to fix the relationship takes both parties desire to do so. If she is willing then my suggestion is you try.
So my answer to your question is not to tempt fate and not to give your present girlfriend any more reason to distrust you by going to see the old girlfriend. Do not go to see the old girlfriend. Stay home and try to fix what you have first.