|
gendre confusion
i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Better visit a sexologist who can give proper advice.
]
I think...personally, that you should not go through with the operation.
If you want kids, do not do it.
You can be perfectly happy dressing in male clothes- men dress as women, so why cant women dress as men? Coco Chanel did it. Probably for different reasons than you, but still!
Its fine. Do not leap into anything. If you want kids and want to get pregnant that is a sign if anything that you are still somewhat a woman inside.
Its okay to be individual- maybe youre classed as "gender fluid".
Don't place yourself in a definite box. And do not undergo s lifechanging operation if you have doubts- you may regret it.
]
Well because you havnt given me more of a history like your age or anything like that, all i would say is wait then until you KNOW your really ready to do anything major. You never want to rush into something like this and then have regrets later. also its perfectly normal to be a female yet do masculine things. im a female and i love fixing cars? so im not really sure what your reffering to here.
]
Have you ever thought about talking to a therapist and helping you decide what is the right decision for you? I don't want you to take that the bad way, but sometimes it's good to have a therapist to express your ideas and he or she can help you move closer to your decision :) whatever you choose, just make sure it's your decision in the end. Also, about the kid part, I mean adoption might be an option and adoption is a great option because there are so many children out there that need to be adopted for the right family :) Good luck!
]
Hey! This is really tough to give advice on and after thinking about what to say, all I can come up with is "Do whatever makes you happy!" It seems like right now you have the best of both worlds: you can appear how you're most comfortable with and what makes you happy AND you can still do what you want to do, which is conceive naturally. If you go through with an entire sex change, the latter will be out of the question. In my honest opinion if you're in the middle and hesitant, I would say don't do anything drastic. I've never looked into the process of gender changes and if/how they're are reversible but I would imagine if it was, it would cost money and a lot of time for your body to transition. Stay with how you are now, dress in what makes you happy but if having kids naturally later on down the road is what you want, you don't want to give that up just yet.
Good luck and just remember your happiness is what matters the most!
]
Just because you feel comfortable in male clothing or have masculine character traits does not mean you're having gender issues. It means you're an individual who knows what you want to wear and what you like to do. Gender stereotypes are just that: stereotypes. I wouldn't go as far as a sex change, especially if you want natural children.
Consider the clothing issue logistically: men's clothing is more comfortable. Period. It's looser, it has pockets that are functional, and it has less pressure because you aren't being compared to every other woman you walk by. If you were going to a formal event, would you rather wear a gown or a tux? Who cares! You're comfortable doing what you want!! =D
I say keep your natural body, if for nothing else than the sake of keeping your children options open.
Most importantly: you were beautifully and wonderfully made in our Lord's image. Your body is perfectly how it's supposed to be. And our Heavenly Father loves you, no matter what you choose. But He made you as He did for a reason, and creating/deepening a relationship with Him may be the key to helping you find out what that reason is.
]
I think therapy could help you make your decision with someone who is very well educated in this topic. It is a very huge decision and life changing thing to go threw. I am sure you have thought a lot about this but if you want to have children of your own the natural way than having the operation shouldn't be an option not right now maybe after you have a child.
]
I'm 100% for changes in sexuality and I support everyone who wants to change their gender and their sexualities. If you want to have kids naturally, maybe wait until you do find a partner and then if you could decide then if you'd like to go through the operation after having kids or before when you have a partner. You never mentioned how old you are but I would wait until you are positive you want to change your sex because I've heard it's a really painful surgery and you wouldn't want to change your mind half way through. Consider this:)
]
Life can sometimes be confusing. The events of our past, our experiences in life, and the way we think have all been formed by a complex and intricate web. That is how we have become who we are. But...the question is really who do we want to be? You have said that you want to conceive naturally and be a mom. That is a wonderful and amazing goal. In order to do that, your "female you" needs to emerge. Dressing and acting masculine often comes from rejections or difficult affections from our past and you may need help sorting out those desires. Perhaps there is some healing of the inner you that only God can do. God is able to help you…He wants to help you. Seek God to show you the reason for the gender identity conflict and ask for healing of whatever would hold you back from carrying out your deep desires to be a mom.
]
A sex change operation is a lot of money and you need to make sure you're ready to go through with it. I know there are girls who keep their ovaries and their uterus after getting a sex change and are still capable of getting pregnant.
]
Whenever I have a huge decision to make, I find it easiest to make a pros and cons list. Writing it out can help clear your mind! Keep the list out for a week or so, so that you can keep adding to it.
This is a really big decision and I don't want to sway you either way cause it really is what you want deep down. I hope this helped!! Children are a blessing so I can understand you not wanting to go through with it.
]
I would wait. There is nothing wrong with being a masculine bi female and you will still be able to have kids. This part of you, wanting kids, seems important. Don't give that up because of masculine traits, especially when it is OK to be you just as you described yourself.
]
Well, unless there is something wrong with you, why don't you just keep on being you and run with that! You seem like you have a pretty good handle on things and it sounds like you know what you want and what you like. You seem to understand your sexuality, you know how you like to dress and act and you know you want to conceive children naturally. If you want to have a sex change you will obviously have to wait until you give birth so it would appear to me that your options are limited. I don't exactly agree with you that wanting a child is a female trait! I believe both males and females are capable of deep loving and protective feelings toward their offspring. I also believe a father can parent equally well so I don't think you should label these feelings "maternal" and assume that you must be a woman in order to have them. Why don't you just be happy with who you are right now and live one day at a time? If you decide to make this decision in the future then deal with it when the time arises. Remember you can't live in the past and you can't live in the future, you can only live in the present. I am sure when the time comes you will give it careful consideration and make the right decision for you. Good luck!
]
I have never experienced what you are going through, but I think if you search around where you live you will probably find groups or even online groups with people who feel the same way that can give you better advice.
All I can say is that what we classify as feminine and masculinity is all a social construct. It's all made up. You can be, feel and act however you want. You can be a woman that dresses and acts like a man, that's totally fine! If you're considering surgery, always remember it is irreversible and if you want kids then definitely take that on board when considering. Also, why not speak to a counsellor or therapist? They might be able to tell you about LBGT groups and maybe help you understand what you want to do.
Whatever you decide, it's totally fine. As long as you're happy, then that's all that matters. Good luck with everything!
]
Be a female. It comes more naturally. And it sounds like deep down inside that is what you want to be.
]
Well, maybe you should have kids now and then when you're done having however how many kids that you want then you can get a sex change. And adopting is okay too.
]
Gender is cultural, dress and act however you feel on any given day. Your body, however, is unique and wonderful and having the ability to give birth and nurture a child is a door you don't want to close just yet.
]
There's not alot I can say to help you here as it's all down to what makes you feel comfortable and only you know that.
Since you're wanting kids yourself and naturally, you could wait until after you've had kids to have the sex change. And in the mean time just continue doing what you can to be your true self.
I wish I could be of more help and really hope all goes well for you.
]
Do not get the surgery. Go ahead and wear masculine clothes, act masculine and identify as a male, but learn to love your feminine traits as well! You can learn to love your male mind and your feminine reproductive system. Beauty is about loving who you are. And if you have a problem with that, may I suggest loving who I am?
The one and only,
Miss Piggy
]
You dont have to have a sex change. If you feel more comfortable dressing as a male and acting like one then you can still do that being a female there is nothing wrong with that. A gender change will only change your physical appearance. If you feel like your meant to be more masculine you can go ahead and be that way a lot of woman actually dress and look like men without having to go through a sex change and they are very happy.
]
If you go through transitioning it is possible to not change your reproductive organs. You can takebhirmones that change your levels of testosterone which will give you more "manly" features all while keeping your reproductive part the same. BUT you will have to, well it would be ideal to keep your breasts. Even if you bind them. Studies show that it's healthier (most of the time) to breast feed your child. Yes you can use formula if you really desire top surgery. Of course how you conceive will depend on your sexuality. If you choose to end up with a man after transitioning you can obviously do it the natural way. If you end up with a woman, there are sperm diners or the use of female bone narrow which is being tested. This is quite a complex situation. Most females want to transition fully and not conceive the baby but to each their own. Good luck!
]
It is not all that abnormal to be confused about one's gender. What my concern is whether you are a true transgender or a cross-dresser. Being a cross-dresser does not mean your a Lesbian or a transgender.
Since you say you are considering having a sex change operation I suggest you seek out a psychologist who specializes in gender confusion and sex changes. IF you want to have a sex change you must do two things before you can have the operation,
First; you must live as a male for two years. This means living as a male, which includes using the men's public bathrooms and other facilities unless barred by law, dressing as a male and all things male. No make-up, men's hair cuts and so on.
Second; you must receive a minimum of two years of psychiatric counseling from two practitioners. This would include a psychologist and a psychiatrist to certify that from a mental standpoint you understand fully what is happening and you are mentally competent to make this decision.
By seeing a psychologist to help you sort out whether you are a true transgender who, should start the transition to male, or someone who is more of a cross-dresser. You are also starting the process for a transgender if this is what you truly want.
None of us are doctors and I do not believe any of us have the expertise to advise you as to which you may be. The best advice is to see a professional who can offer you the advice you need.
]
You don't have to get a sex change..I mean if you still would want to conceive naturally then you obviously don't want to be a man..You just feel more comfortable in guys clothes, that's fine. It doesn't mean you have to be a man..those female traits are naturally there. I feel like you should take some more time to think about things, and get to know yourself a little more. A sex change is a big deal, so if I were you I'd make sure I was 100% ready to do it.
]
I know people in the same position you are in, and your situation is completely normal, I think if you really believe you aren't the right gender then have the sex change but AFTER you have kids, that way you can still have what you want and be happy. Keep me posted :) with love, Kiera xoxo
]
Well, firstly you need good medical checkup and counseling.. since it doesnot seem that you know everything about yourself, sex change is a big decision.. and you have not even mentioned about your sexual affinity.. whether you are attracted to men or women.. first be clear medically what you are, what is really inside your pshycology through counseling and then decide..hope your confusions clear soon..all the best friend..
]
Well, firstly you need good medical checkup and counseling.. since it doesnot seem that you know everything about yourself, sex change is a big decision.. and you have not even mentioned about your sexual affinity.. whether you are attracted to men or women.. first be clear medically what you are, what is really inside your pshycology through counseling and then decide..hope your confusions clear soon..all the best friend..
]
Well, firstly you need good medical checkup and counseling.. since it doesnot seem that you know everything about yourself, sex change is a big decision.. and you have not even mentioned about your sexual affinity.. whether you are attracted to men or women.. first be clear medically what you are, what is really inside your pshycology through counseling and then decide..hope your confusions clear soon..all the best friend..
]
Well, firstly you need good medical checkup and counseling.. since it doesnot seem that you know everything about yourself, sex change is a big decision.. and you have not even mentioned about your sexual affinity.. whether you are attracted to men or women.. first be clear medically what you are, what is really inside your pshycology through counseling and then decide..hope your confusions clear soon..all the best friend..
]
More Questions: |