|
|
|
|
|
Q: I am 20 years old girl.2 years ago I met a boy (23 years) on facebook.He was from the another city of my country.I never add unknown people. Actually I was searching someone from his company. And I sent friend request to him. But after chatting I came to know that he was not the one. I decided to remove him. But from his old status I came to know that he lost his mother last year. I really felt bad. And decided not to remove him. We became friends. We used to chat for long time. He shared a lot of things with me so did I. He was a nice boy. He cared for me. I forgot to take my medicine. He asked me everyday that I took my medicine or not. He asked my opinion about his business card. I mean he gave me priorities. But after 2 months don't know what happened he started to change. He didn't reply me back like before. I didn't ask why. And I started to realize that I like him. I felt bad about it that how I fall in love with someone on internet. I decided to move on and not to talk to him anymore. But that time it seemed very difficult to me. I decided to remove him. One night I knocked him and told him something about my family and then told him that I am going to remove him. He said please tell me the reason. I told him and removed him.but still I used to message him and he replaid me. That time I came to know from other source that he hided things from me. He didn't told me that his father got married few days ago. He told me that he had a girlfriend for one year but he never loved her. But I came to know that after that he also had a girlfriend almost for 3 years. But he didn't tell me anything about it. After one months I added him again. He accepted friend request and talked to me like nothing happened. Everything became normal again. I gave him my number. We started to chat on whatsapp. Almost like before. It was my birthday. I asked for gift. He asked what I want. I told as your wish. He told me to ask for something. I told him that you won't be able to give me. He asked me what. I didn't want to tell him. But he forced me and requested me to tell what I want. I told him that I liked him seriously and I really wanted to spent my life with him. He told me that we didn't meet each other ever so we shouldn't think about it. One night I asked him,won't you ever love me?He said "you are a very silly girl,stop this childish,it will be good for you and relationship are really trouble thing for me". On reply I said I will wait for you because I am unable to love anyone else.He didn't say anything.One day I called him and we talked for the first time. That day he told me about his father marriage. We talked for 20 minutes. And he was nice. After that we used to talk. His birthday was coming I decided to send him a gift. I asked for his address but he refused to give it to me. But I knew his addressed already so I sent the gift. And he accepted it(There was his another female friend. She also liked him. She also send him gift but he didn't accept it.I came to know from someone.) And on his birthday he called me and said that I am crazy. But he was happy.Every thing was going well. One day I knocked him on whatsapp and after sometime he replaid. Like he always does. But I felt something is wrong. Don't know why!!! But my mind telling me that something is wrong. I felt that he was not replying me. Someone else was doing it. And the person talked to me little rudely. I knew that he couldn't talk to me like that. I end the conversation. I was so upset that he allowed someone to reply me by his phone. After 7 days I knocked him and asked about the matter. He told that it wasn't he. I asked who it was. He told it was his colleague. But he didn't tell the name. I got very angry. He tried to explain me that it wasn't intentional. But I didn't pay any heed to his talk. I asked him how could he allowed someone to message me. He said that his colleague borrowed his phone for some work and I knocked that time and she replaid. She also deleted the message but told him what she wrote. And she did it for fun. I was so angry. I shouted at him. And told him not to contact me ever. At last he also got angry and told me that I was just a facebook friend to him nothing else and he never thought about me.
After that I found out the girls name. She is 1 year older than him. She also proposed him. But he said no. I contacted him again almost after 3 months. He also did. One day he called me we talked for so long. And the next day the girl tried to commit suicide and admited into hospital but he didn't even go to see her. When I heard about it I really felt bad.I come to know that the girl is back in his life.They talk to each other.But they are just friend. He never tells me anything about it ever. I found it out from another source. I also ask him that if he has any problem to talk to me he can tell me directly I won't contact him again. But he says he has no problem to talk to me.
We don't talk like before.He never knocks me. I don't knock him much. I still have that feelings for him. I still like him. But it doesn't hurt me anymore. I am doing okay in my life. I call him sometimes(like once in a month/months) . And he talk to me nicely like before we used to talk. I wonder he still remembers little things about me. I talk to him like a friend. I never talk about my feelings and all this. But last time when we talked he asked me,do I have a boyfriend now? I said,no. He asked,why? On my mind I was telling,because I told you that I will wait for you. But i didn't tell him that. I told him that you know the answer but may be you don't remember it.I was a little angry.
Should I move on?Should I cut contact with him?
And yes I always feel that he has some feelings for me. May be its not love,but its special.Did/does he have?I accept the fact that he would never love me. But I still love him. And I am okay with that.
Tell me what to do now?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is a really hard position to be in and I'm sorry you are going through this.
In my opinion, you should cut ties with him and let him go. Block him from everything and just work on yourself. It's hard because I know you still like him but he's hurting you right now. And like you said, you are okay without him. He's playing games with your heart by asking questions like that. And it sounds like he has other girls wrapped up in the games as well.
You deserve someone who will cherish every bit of you and not let time go by without talking to you. Think how amazing you will feel if you find someone out there that loves you as much as you love him? And he's out there. I promise. But if you settle for this guy than you may never find him.
I know it's a hard thing to do. Recently my boyfriend of 6 years dumped me. I was so heartbroken and hurt and I kept trying to convince him of what I saw in our relationship. But the truth is, he will never see it. I need someone who sees the same amazing life that I saw with my ex. And it hurts still, but it makes it easier knowing that I did everything I could and now I'm moving on and talking to a guy that treats me like an angel. In the end it's their loss, you are losing someone who treated you decently every now and then and that you could talk to. But with him, he's losing someone who loved him through everything and would always be there for him. To me that's a much bigger loss!
The easiest way to get over him is to delete everything. I'm such a pushover that this was tricky for me. But you need to get away from seeing his name on Facebook or anything else. You'll feel much better. And know that you aren't alone. So many people go through heart breaks with the people they saw a life with, but they also find new loves and end up where they are meant to be. I believe that divorce happens often because we accept too much of what we honestly don't want. You need to not settle.
I hope everything works out! I'll pray for you and hope you find happiness in all of this! If you ever need anything, feel free to ask!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is hard. I've been in two serious long relationships. The important part to note is the TWO. That means you will find someone again. It's hard to get back on your feet. It always feels like you lost something. What I've heard recently that made me feel better, atleast a little bit is that if you feel empty after a break up, then that person was probably filling a void in your life. Lonely and sadness is normal. But empty is not.
Saying all that doesn't make a difference on how it hurts though. I'm really sorry you are going through all of this! But you do deserve someone who does all the things you did for your ex to you. That's a more even relationship.
It's hard to find someone worth your time and that you connect with, especially when you are still hurt. But one day when you are feeling better, someone will come into your life and work with your insecurities and uneasiness about the relationship and getting hurt again.
I promise! And I know it doesn't make it easy, but just know that I too have been there. And it's not fun. But I wouldn't trade my relationship that I have now for the world! You'll get around this and be stronger than ever! If you need anything else or just want to vent, feel free to message me!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can't imagine what you must be going through. This is an awful lot for a 20 year old to go through! If you have an okay relationship with your father, maybe see if he would be willing to take you in for a couple months till you are able to save up money. But that's if you can find a job in his state!
If your sister and mother are going to your grandmas...do you have an okay relationship with your grandma? If you asked her to stay would she allow you? It seems ridiculous that your mother would rather have you live on the streets then live with her.
I know that both of these options probably don't sound amazing to you, but you can't live on the streets and keep a job. Both of these can be thought if as temporary! Do you have any work friends who are looking for a roommate? Maybe try checking on craigslist and see if anyone is looking for a roommate (beware that Craigslist can be dangerous though!) if you are working that often, you should be able to struggle through renting an apartment or atleast having a roommate and an apartment. But since you only make around $560 a month, you will have to be very frugal with your money . But the key is to find something temporary for now. Keep yourself going and keep reminding yourself that this isn't permanent. One day you will be more financially stable. You just have to keep working.
As for your sister and mom, they don't seem to want to work and that's a rough life to live. I'm happy that you aren't just calling in sick all the time. And that WILL benefit you in the future! You sound like a very strong person and I feel for you because I know this is a rough time! I hope my advice helped a little and you can lessen your stresses. I hope the job you have will eventually become full time or has ways of moving up in the company.
If you need anything at all, feel free to ask!
Good luck!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is rough! And I can honestly say I feel your pain. The way you worded things sounds a lot like what I feel and go through. I myself am in a long distance relationship and have been for 5 years. We weren't the most stable and when we would stop talking and then start again, it would take me forever to trust him again and not feel like a nuisance.
Something my mom told me was that the key to a successful relationship was that both involved can't lose interest at the same time. What she meant by this was that no one is perfect, and even though your bf probably loves you very much, there's going to be times when you need to hold up the relationship. There's rough patches for everyone and sometime if you ever feel apathetic towards the relationship, maybe your bf will keep fighting for it.
Now after saying all that, I don't mean that he's feeling that way at all. I've found that boys often can't focus on two things at once, and as you said he's probably just busy and is thinking about that stuff. Try not to worry. Whenever I feel this way, I have to remind myself that sometimes my bf isn't as chatty as me, and he doesn't talk as much when new things haven't happened.
As for feeling better, keep remembering all your amazing qualities. Someone is lucky to be with you and he's realized it and wants to do long distance with you. Try keeping yourself busy and throwing yourself into projects. Having your own things and life will definitely help with the self consciousness. If you like books maybe start reading too. If I throw myself into a book, I'm not hurt that I can't talk long on the phone because I want to get to the next chapter. Girl friends can also be a Gods send! Just try and not forget that you are awesome, and that everyone deserves to feel that way. If you need anything else, feel free to message me! I definitely can understand how you feel 100% and I hope into advice helped a little!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: i am a female and i have a boyfriend. i'm almost 17 and he's 16. we've been together for 5 months now. i went to a guy's house, we did have a short fling, but it's over now and he ended up trying to pressure me into things, i continuously repeated i didn't want to cheat and even ended up crying over it in front of him, but that didn't stop him and he threatened to make me walk home, i was about 40 minutes from my house and had no clue where i was. so i got scared and allowed him to do some things to me..i never kissed him or touched him. then he got rather aggressive at one point and had me pinned against the wall, my back to him and arms behind my back held by his body, pulled my hair back hard and place his hand over my neck. at that point i was frightened if i didn't let him go farther he'd do it anyway and well i got him to agree to keep all clothes on and nothing goes inside of me. well the next day i told my boyfriend, he was quite pissed and yelled at me, telling me how stupid i was and that i cheated..i honestly have no clue what to do because i NEED to make it up to him and at the same time i feel like he should break up with me. also i want him to hold me and tell me it's okay and that i'm safe, yet i don't want to be touched ever again.....what do i do about everything?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Never ever talk to that guy again. I'm glad he didn't pressure you into sex but it seems like since he got aggressive something could have happened more. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I can imagine that would be very scary.
As far as your boyfriend goes, I can understand why he's mad. Ask him to talk and explain that you were frightened and if you mean it, tell him you won't put yourself in a situation where you are alone with an old fling. Also tell him that you really care about him (if you do) and that if he needs time to think, you'll give it to him.
This was very short, and I could be entirely wrong. Cause I obviously wasn't there. But I hope that you know no matter how angry a guy gets you can always say no. Get yourself out of the situation as fast as you can. I hope the agreeing to doing anything wasn't a people pleasing thing or lack of self worth. And I really don't think it is! But just know that you deserve to be happy and this kind of thing I hope never happens again to you! If you need anythinng else, feel free to message me!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I am a girl,age 23. my father has died in 2009, my mom is alive but she never take care of me. i live with my elder sister,she has 3 kids. she always quarreled with me. if i don't do any household work, she got angry with me. i have boyfriend,who never let me cry,he love me so much.i didn't meet with him for last 3month because my sister never allowed me to meet with him. i stay my room whole day lonely.nobody of my family call me or ask me anything. my study is also hampering day by day. for my condition my boy friend also feeling very bad for me and his study also destroying day by day.i cant tolerate this anymore.it is seem to me that my death is the nice solution for all.my family will get rid of me and my boyfriend will get a better life.i have no way to live.what should i do beyond this?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is a horrible decision. Suicide is never the answer because the people who care about you will never fully heal. They will always wonder what they could have done to make you feel better and have great sadness. I understand things get sad sometimes but keeping a positive attitude will always make for a better life.
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. But your boyfriend seems to be your beacon of hope. Let him make you feel good and appreciate things. Maybe to keep the peace do some kind of chore every day to help. And then see about getting a part time job. Then you can save up and move out of your sisters :) maybe even your boyfriend can save up too and y'all can move in together.
I just hope you find all the happiness in the world. I understand emotional pain is one of the worst things to deal with. But I think you can come through this and have a truly happy life!! Best wishes!
Please don't do anything to yourself, you can be happy again. I promise!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Whenever I have a huge decision to make, I find it easiest to make a pros and cons list. Writing it out can help clear your mind! Keep the list out for a week or so, so that you can keep adding to it.
This is a really big decision and I don't want to sway you either way cause it really is what you want deep down. I hope this helped!! Children are a blessing so I can understand you not wanting to go through with it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think that since you are asking me, you should pass on sex for time being. You are still so young and your first time is something you want to experience with someone who you really love because you will remember it forever.
Unless you are 100% sure than don\'t. And if he doesn\'t understand than you obviously made the right choice in not doing it with him. That\'s a very big age gap and he can\'t expect you to be emotionally ready to handle that. (Even though girls are more mature ;))
So my advice would just be to talk to him about it and say that you are not ready! Hope that helps girl! Inbox me anytime!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Im a 15 year old girl. I've noticed that I have this hard slightly darker than my skin lump under my skin in my inner upper thigh area. It doesn't really hurt unless I squeeze it. Whitish pus and fluid tend to come out when I do. I want to tell my parents but idk how to. It's embarrassing and I'm nervous about telling them I don't know how they'll react. I did my own research and yes I know the dangers of self diagnosis. Webmd says its a cysts. I know I should go to a doctor about this issue but I still haven't gotten around to telling my parents. How do I tell them? What do I do?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Parents would rather you tell them then keep it secret! And it\'ll be much less stressful when you do. I would just ask your mom to see her alone and then explain to her exactly what you just wrote! You don\'t know it\'s a cyst and it could even just be something as small as an ingrown hair!
Hope you get it checked out or let your parents know about it :) it\'ll be a lot less stressful when you do!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Hi ladies! What ways have you found to lose weight as quickly as possible without causing yourself any harm? I could really use your help. :)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The good ol fashion cardio :)
I'm actually studying exercise science as my undergrad right now. So there's tons I could bore you with but the major thing that will help you is some cardio. They recommend at least 3 times per week for at least 30 minutes. The first week will be rough but your body will adjust if you hang in there and will start to see results! You can run, jog, walk, bike, or rollerblade, etc.
And of course watching your meal portions is important but most is getting active! Best way to do this is finding what you like to do! I never thought I'd enjoy running cause treadmills bore me and I'd feel like death if I ran too much. But after running for a few weeks outside I realized I loved it!
The key is to start with walking briskly and jogging parts. This will train your body and then you can add in running!
You'll begin seeing improvements and will be strengthening your heart :) win-win!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I know they have strict rules and does the lunk alarm actually go off? Do they allow anyone to join?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Of course you can go to planet fitness if you are skinny! They only sound the alarms if people drop weights or judge other people.
I went to planet fitness when I was back in high school and found the low rates and 24 hour service awesome.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and it was an amazing 3 years. We always know how to make each other laugh and each other happy. We love and care for each other very much. About a few days ago, he came to me and wanted to talk. He told me he was re-evaluating his life and wanted to take a break from the relationship so he could "find" himself. He said also he needed some change. I know this break is meant to help us be able to go out and enjoy life without worrying about the other but it really hurts and it's really hard on me. He said that the spark between us was there still but it just wasn't kindling like it should. What makes me more upset about this "break" is he wanted this beautiful necklace back that he gave me for Christmas last year. I'm not sure what to do and honestly this break hurts me more than it is helping. I don't want to seem desperate but I really miss my best friend and I wish he knew that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hang in there girl! Break ups and breaks are tough!
When me and my first boyfriend broke up I was devastated! But I found someone so much better for me after him. Even when I never thought I would.
I think it's strange that he would want his necklace back I because it was a gift for you. Guys should know better than to take back gifts!!
I know you miss him but just keep trying to better yourself and focus on your happiness!! If y'all are meant to be together he will come around! That's sucha confusing time in everyone's lives and he's probably just figuring things out. Guys often can't concentrate on making girls happy until they have something going for themselves. My boyfriend in the first year kept distancing himself because he said he didn't deserve me and needed to make money before he seriously dated me but 5 years later and I realize it wasn't cause he didn't love me or want to break my heart, but instead really cared for me. Point is, your guy could be trying to make himself successful before he continues to date you and make you happy.
You deserve to be treated like a princess and everything truthfully does happen for some strange reason. I'd just focus on making YOU happy and then maybe he will come around.
Try working out, going out with friends, bettering relationships with the family, and just enjoying some you time :)
Just hang in there and if you need anything feel free to ask me anything else!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: i have been told that i won't be able to get pregnant by the usual way because of PCOS and that i would have to do ivf if i wanted a child. i guess i reacted badly and stormed out of the doctor's office. :( since i am too embarrassed to go back to the doctor could you please help me understand the way ivf works and the whole process of getting pregnant that way? thank you!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not really sure of the full process but the internet is a beautiful thing and I'm sure you could find out information through there!
As far as being embarrassed, don't be! I'm currently doing my undergrad and have several internships at hospitals and all I can tell you from that experience is that you see everything!
Doctors are used to patients reacting in natural ways. It's very scary when you find out things aren't the way you planned. It's normal to get frustrated and your doctor understands that!
I'm sorry this has happened but luckily we have come a long way in the medical fields! So don't give up hope girl!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Do you have any suggestion for a birthday gift that ALL men like? I don't know him that well, but I want to give him something he will really remember. :)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ohhhhh fun!
Some more information would be amazing to give you real good advice. Like your age, relationship status, how long you've been together/liked him, sexually together, etc. But I'll give you some ideas so hopefully you will have an idea.
So if there's been anything he's been talking about, like a wallet, new shirt, etc. those are always good. Men are pretty upfront of what they want.
If y'all are sexually together...I got my boyfriend a hotel room and then bought some lingerie for him one year. He loved just getting away for a night or two. We didn't go too far and he loved it. Plus groupon has some amazing deals often!
Speaking of groupon...that can be a good place to get ideas. For my best friends birthday, we went canoeing in the ocean from a groupon! So that can be a good place to brainstorm, if your guy is into outdoorsy things.
And if you want to do something a little less...maybe make his favorite meal? Way to a mans heart is through his stomach! So maybe a full meal and some dessert?
I hope I gave you some good ideas!! And good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Ok so here it is. My boyfriend and I have been having alot of trouble with our relationship the last few months. We have been dating for almost a year and a half now and have lived together pretty much since the beginning.A few months into the relationship I started noticing a few things with him. He would be very secretive. For the first 5 months he wasnt working. He was having a hard time finding a job so things were financially tough for us as I had to pay for everything. I had no problem doing so as long as he showed he was trying. During this time he would come and go whenever he pleased. He would be gone doing I dont know all day long and always have a reason to skip out in the evening. I wasnt too worried as I was very happy with him. He treated me like gold and was very sweet. Said all the right things. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me.
Once he finally got a job things started to change. I noticed he started getting upset when he had to contribute to the rent, bills, food, gas etc. He felt as if he should be able to spend his money whichever way he wanted and if he couldnt help it was not an issue to him. I never once said he had to spend every dime on us but I was at the point of wanting some help financially. When we got together I had a savings and at that point because I was the main one supporting us it was all spent.
Anyway this summer I started noticing that when his cell would ring he wouldnt let me see who it was even when he was sitting right next to me he would get up and move right away.
He would spend over an hour in the bathroom and take his cell in with him. After seeing some weird behaviour by him and also hearing some things from some people, Like when he crashed my car and begged me to take the rap which I did for him he told friends that I was just a girl, just a friend :( Anyway one night I was cleaning our room and came accross a piece of paper with his email address password. I knew it was wrong but I went on his email. I needed to know if he was hiding anything and boy was I right!
I saw that he was on dating sites looking for casual encounters. I saw he had TONS of Private messages from girls through facebook. All that he was flirting talking about how he wanted to F*** them! And asking them for their digits and if they were single. He never once said he had a girlfriend.
All this time I thought we were happy. He said Im the love of his life. We were a family, so I thought.
So when I confronted him on this he got VERY mad and defensive. Blaming me for his wrong doing. All he said for a reason why he was doing it was that he didnt know why and it didnt go any further than texing, phone calls or facebook.
One night I had him drop me and a friend off at a concert. He picked us up that night too. I found out later that he had met up with an old girlfriend and went for a drive. He denies it of course. The thing is I saw a convo of the two of them and he told her he needed to talk and see her and that he wants to see her body and he thinks she wants him. When I talked to het she told me nothing happened that she isnt interested in him that way. He did mention to her that he "kinda sorta" had a girlfriend and that things werent good between us and he just didnt want to hurt me. He told her how he remembered how good the sex was when they were together and if she ever thinks how good it could be now.
That night when he picked me up I didnt know anything. He held me all night long wanting to make love. We have a great sex life. We have sex everyday sometimes more than once. So what gets me is why is he looking elsewhere? Dont I mean anything to him? Why is he using me?
Since I found all of this out the trust is gone and he uses that against me. He picks fights with me for no reason all the time and it always ends up with him saying that he things I deserve better and he cant make me happy so I should just leave and he wont stop me. When we argue he bashes me to the point im begging him to stay. He makes ME feel guilty for not trusting him.
I think he is still talking and flirting and looking for other girls.
What should I do? Am I wrong to be upset and not trust him? Why is he making it out to be all my fault? He gets so mad at me, swears at me and always say when we argue that it all about me, that all I think about is myself...please help!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's sad reading this because I can understand the pain you are going through. I know you want his words to meet up with his actions and don't understand why he would say things if he didn't mean them.
But honestly, this guy is a loser. He is getting caught in lies constantly and doesn't even try to make you feel better. Just makes you feel guilty for not trusting him.
Regardless, he needs to be dumped. Once you end things with him and NEVER talk to him again, you will be able to find someone who appreciates you and loves you for you. Someone who will work hard to take care of you. I promise you'll be happy when you find someone who appreciates you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Alright, I dont know if something wrong with me or what. But i know that i have the beauty lol and im very sweet and innocent. 23 old. Every guys i met, which i meet guys all the time and so fast. But Every guys i met, we only last one day, one night. There was never a second or third date. It does hurt though. They never text and say whats going on. I asked a bunch of question but they never reply. Why every guy i met are being like that? I dont know what they dont like about me. But all i know is im so nice. It make me curious why guys just ditch me so fast without saying anything. Anyone think why? Is it because most guys dont like nice girls? I asked every guy i dated the same question:"what is it about me that you dont like?" Not a single guy answer. So, idk should i be naughty?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sometimes guys don't like a lot of questions. Especially those types of questions. They make them uncomfortable because they feel put on the spot.
I'm sure you are a very nice girl and I would not turn into a slut or "naughty". Continue to be yourself because the right guy is somewhere out there and will love you just the way you are. You just have to be patient and don't give up on dating because of a few losers who don't want to get to know you.
Hope this helps!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Why is it so hard too kill yourself?.... I've tried it soo much . I can never do it! Ive puttin soo much knives to my throat i even asked people if they would do me the favor. I offered a couple grand. Just im sooo depressed ! The love of my life is in mexico visiting family! Im just soo sad cause out of no were she calls me and i barely wake up and she says i cant deal with your bullshit anymore, soo i say what ?? Whos this ? She says yesenia and i was like wasup babe?? She says she doesnt wana talk toe anymore. She clicks and i call her aunt and says she doesnt want to talk to me ever again! Soo i gave her time to think a couple of days and i call her again and she dont answer her aunt says shes busy or do something! You know what i think is she found somebody else over there in mexico and probably did something with him and she doesnt want to feel guility so she broke up with me..... I would still take her back thats how madly in love i am with her ! Shes my life ! I live for her ! I want to get married with her , i want to have kids , have a great family, have tons blessings, and be very healthy , the most important thing is to be with my wife! I know she wont take me back sooo im giving up! Its the easiest way! I know what im going to do. Im going to make her CD and leave my girlfriend yesenia a letter say i want her to be happy amd how much i love her! And her to have tons of kids and have a great husband cause i cant! Im a mess up. I know i dont make her happy at all. Im the most horrible person! Being heart broken is sooo painful ! Ive lost 15 pounds in 9 days i never want to eat. i just wish we together and she was laying on me shoulder just telling me how much she loves me! But i know thats never happeningg! Im 15 and im going to kill my self ! The best way listening to our songs and staring at pictures we took and just get hammered and just cuting my wrist. Doesnt sound painfull at all. I want yesenia to have a great life and just to be happy! I wish i would of gaven that to you babe! I love you! I love you soo much more then love! Te amo mamita chula mi princesa! Love you babe!! Us way past forever te la promento ! I more then promise and swear maybe well be together after life who knows!! I love you my queen! Bye.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heartbreak is one of the most painful things in the world to go through. When I was 16 I went through my first heartbreak. and it sucked...I was sad for a couple months before I began to feel normal again. The good news is I did move on and don't feel any kind of feelings towards him anymore.
Now I am going through my second heartbreak. And it sucks a little more than the first. This just goes to show you that even though something hurts right now...it won't last. Time heals everything. I felt so much stronger for my last bf than for my bf before that. And I know that its going to take me some time to feel normal again, yet I know that one day I will find someone who I feel even more strongly for than this guy.
I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. And I know it sucks SOO BAD right now because you have such strong feelings for her and she didn't really give you any closure. But killing yourself is such a waste. You are more important than this relationship you are in. You can always pick yourself up and better your life!
Its going to hurt for a little and I know that sucks :/ But really try not focusing on it. For example, I only let myself cry once a day for a limited time (like when you're showering), then make it once a week. And before I know it, I'm no longer crying. Try to make yourself go out and do stuff with friends. Go to the gym. Better yourself in any way and your confidence will go up and you won't feel as bad. You will find someone who will appreciate everything you have to offer and never have to worry about them leaving you.
I really hope this helps! If you need anything else just feel free to message me!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: (I am seventeen, girl, gonna be senior.. He is nineteen, boy, just graduated). So me and my ex have been broken up for about nine ish months? We dated for eight and had a reeeeally messy break up. While we were dating he, yes, had me pretty whipped. It's something I'm really not proud of. But he took advantage of that in a lot of ways and really hurt me... To sum it up he pressured/guilted me into physcial stuff, dumped me in a text, and told me he only stayed with me for so long cause he liked hooking up and he never actually liked me. Yet yeah, he had me whipped cause he reallly had me fooled that he loved me. He would actually force me to look him in the eye while he said he loved me... Didn't really think someone could lie to my face like that but ugh that's another story. Point is, I found out after we broke up that'd he'd talk a bunch of shit to his friends/baseball team. Just really disrespectful stuff you shouldn't be saying about your girlfriend. Anyway. Even though we’ve been broken up he will still mess with me. I’m pretty sure he gets enjoyment out of it. He'll just rip on me cause he knows I used to take it and he thinks I still will. Which okay... truth time: I'm not a very assertive person, he knows that, I don't know I'm just... a doormat. Or I used to be. For example, last week:
Him: Put some clothes on you look like a whore.
Me: You’re a dick.
Him: You love my dick.
Me: (quietly) Stop.
Him: Make me.
Me: Come on.
Him: You know what?
Him: I think I still have you whipped. I’m pretty sure I could get you do anything.
Me: You’re an idiot.
Him: If I dropped my pants right now would you suck me off?
Me: (attempted to push him away, he stopped me)
Him: I’m not gonna lie sweetie, you’re a tiny little thing. That’s probably not a good idea.
Me: Just let me go.
Him: I can’t take you seriously. You’re just so cute when you’re mad.
This is where he tries to pinch my cheek and I smack his hand away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up to him.
Me: Let go.
Him: (Laughing)
Me: Seriously, stop.
Him: Okay, okay. But remember, as much as you deny it you know you’re still mine.
UHM CREEPY?? Like I don’t even know what that means and I’m just so pissed off at him right now, like I honestly don’t even know what to do!! He’s basically dating this other girl so what the heck does he think he’s doing…? I want to talk to him but every time we talk he just has this way where as you can see from above, I can never find it in me to just REALLY tell him off. Sometimes I think he’s right. He gives me all this shit and I can never just yell at him. And it really takes a toll on me… The thing is, I don’t want to get anyone else involved (like my boyfriend) because I feel like I’m never gonna solve this problem until I can handle him myself. I need to do this for me. That last line has been in my head 24/7 for the past few days because I think he’s right. I need to tell him to piss off but but I’m scared I’m not gonna have the guts. Please help me… Tips, things to say? Anything.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This guy is SUCH a tool/asshole.
In my opinion you should cut all contact with him and just ignore him whenever he tries to talk to you. He thinks he still has you but obviously you both are dating other people and he needs to respect that. I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of telling him why you don't want to talk anymore. Just cut all contact and go on with your life because you deserve SOOO much better!
Good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I don't need judgement but I take ecstasy. I take it like once every two weeks. sometimes i skip three weeks. I've been doing this for 5 months. I've missed my period for 3/4 months now. I am not pregnant. I've been to the doctor n it was negative. Ive taken a bunch of home tests, ept, first response and the cheap dollar store tests n they were negative. I'm a college student n have a hard family life. I took loestrin 24fe birth control up until november. or october not sure. my period turned WACK n was off schedule but now im just not getting it anymore. I dont know if its drug use, stress or stopping my birth control. im scared. any type of advice or suggestions? i know you're not doctors
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Im also on loestrin fe and i didnt have my period for almost 8 months. when i went into my gyno worried about it, she laughed and said most people dont complain about not getting it.
Since youve been to the doctor and they said everything was good, i wouldnt worry.
Stress also can deal with it a lot. Not really sure what kind of effect ecstasy has on it..but since youve went and seen your doctor my advice would be not to stress about it and enjoy not getting it for a couple months. lol and noo im not a doctor. so take my advice lightly but i hope i helped :]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: My best friend has been getting into drugs the last month, and she is now addicted to Cocaine. Her parents and sister know, as well as me and almost everyone in school. She doesn't know how much we all want to help her, and shes getting out of control. She ran out of her house the other day because her mom said she had to do the laundry, she flipped off her mom before she left. Her mom ended up calling me crying asking me questions about her and whats been going on. I explained everything.
I told her she was addicted to Cocaine. Which she already found out. I told her that she doesn't care about anything anymore.
She has always told me that I'm her best friend and she cares so much about me, but now she says that she hates me and I am a hypocrite (She told me this after I said I want her to be healthy again). I get that the drugs are messing with her head, but is there Anything I can do to make her see how much she needs to smarten up?
She has to be able to want the help first, I understand this, but I don't know if she will even talk to me anymore..?
Help???
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My ex boyfriend was into drugs. And its not easy at all. Her family should see about putting her into rehab because no amount of telling her things will help. She has to have help and professional help. Withdrawls are very hard and can be damgerous if not carefully watched. Im sorry youre going through this. Maybe see how her parents feel about rehab or even a halfway house.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Info
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gender: Female Location: Florida Age: 20 Member Since: January 4, 2006 Answers: 70 Last Update: October 11, 2014 Visitors: 5669
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
