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i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19 and he wants to have sex.what should i do ?
i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
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Tell him to wait till you are adult. If he's not ready to wait, dump him.
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I'm very concerned about the age difference between you two. I'm sorry to say this but there is something not right about a 19 year old man wanting to have sex with a 13 year old girl. At 13, your not emotionally ready for that kind of relationship. Not to mention that it is illegal in most places and considered statutory rape for a 19 year old to have sex with a 13 year old.
It may seem really cool to have an older boyfriend but trust me, this is not the right relationship for you. Let me tell you a story...
When I was 16, I dated a man who was 24. I ended up marrying him at 17 and having a baby at 18. The marriage lasted 3 years. As I grew older, I realized that it's just not normal for a grown man to want a girl who is still basically a child. At the end of marriage, I found out that he had been having sex with many other women and also a man while we were married. He was not mature enough to handle a committed relationship. I worry that you will find the same thing. I don't want to see you hurt and you really don't need to end up having a baby to look after at 14 or 15 years old.
Stay in school, have fun, be a kid for as long as you can. Growing up is great but you can never get your childhood back.
Tell this guy you're not ready for sex and if he keeps pushing you then just break up with him.
That's my advice. Hope it helps. Good luck.
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If you're asking that question, then you know there's something wrong with it. You say no. If he doesn't like that, that's too bad because a loving boyfriend would respect your wishes and wait until you are ready. If you have sex with him, make sure that you use a condom and be aware that after that point, he is committing a crime and can be sent to prison. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but you should keep in mind the consequences of your actions.
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I highly advise against relationships with such a big age difference. Also, if you live in the US, it would be considered illegal for him to have sex with you.
I advise against these relationships because guys at that age, they are not mature enough to handle themselves in very strong relationships and the fact that you're 13, that's not something he would go around announcing to his friends and family. Ask yourself if his friends know about your relationship, or any one you know he is close to. Chances are, if you are not a part of his life outside of the moments you share, he is not in a relationship with u and only using you for sex. Don't make a decision that you will regret later.
And the fact that you chose to ask this question goes to show that you have concerns about this.
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I will be very blunt with you. Not only are you too young to even be considering having sex, I will address that next. But 5 minutes of fun with you could get him 25 years to life in prison for statutory rape depending on what state you live in.
Statutory rape is when someone under the age of consent has sex with an adult person more than 3 to 4 years older than themselves depending on the laws in your state. some States do not have this grace period at all. There are 6 years in age difference between you two. Not knowing your age is no excuse. No state has an age of consent anywhere near 13 years old.
Some prosecutors add additional charges and given your age I believe a prosecutor would add sexual predator, delinquency of a minor and what ever other charges they can find. Statutory rape is looked at extremely harsh. If he ever was to get out of jail he would have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
Now knowing all this why do you think he wants to have sex with you and not someone older closer to his own age? Is he a sexual predator? Is he a sexual predator in the making? Will he still be looking for girls your age and younger to have sex with when he is 25, 35 or older?
Why are you dating someone so much older than you? Yes I understand what I thrill it is for you to have someone his age interested in you. If he is a sexual predator it could be very dangerous for you. Sexual predators are a danger to young girls and boys. Please don't tell me you are very mature and know he is not dangerous. You are not old enough or have the life experiences to be that mature.
My advice is to tell your parents about him and what he is asking of you. Yes they will be upset and rightfully so. They will be more upset with him than with you for he is taking advantage of you naiveté. But they will be just as thankful that you came to them so they could handle this situation properly and enjoy having you with them rather than possibly planning your funeral. Which is something that is not something I am say to scare you but a real possibility if this man is a sexual predator.
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I think you aren't ready, hes way to old for you and you shouldn't do it at your age, trust me you would forget it, I am around the same age as you and I know its the wrong choice but if you really want to do it you can go and do it as long as you use protection. I suggest you don't, but its completely your choice, if your ready or you want to, then go ahead, just be aware of the after effects, the chance of getting pregnant, and the fact since hes 19, its gonna hurt a lot, it wont be too pleasureable.
But if ur ready for all that, its ur choice, use protection though, good luck
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I think that since you are asking me, you should pass on sex for time being. You are still so young and your first time is something you want to experience with someone who you really love because you will remember it forever.
Unless you are 100% sure than don't. And if he doesn't understand than you obviously made the right choice in not doing it with him. That's a very big age gap and he can't expect you to be emotionally ready to handle that. (Even though girls are more mature ;))
So my advice would just be to talk to him about it and say that you are not ready! Hope that helps girl! Inbox me anytime!
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I know you probably have a lot of feelings for him but the truth is he is taking advantage of you and what he is asking you to do is not only wrong it is illegal. If you really have feelings for him then you need to realize that having sex with him can put him behind bars for a very long time. If he really has feelings for you he would NOT ask you to have sex at the age of 13. He would wait for you as a good friend until you are older. Please don't let him pressure you into this. A lot of bad things could happen to you(and to him). You could get a disease or become pregnant and he could be arrested and do several years in prison. It is not worth it and HE should know better!
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I'm not the one that is saying you're too young for sex because I am not your parent nor do you live under my roof. But for one he is too old to be your boyfriend, and if you have sex that is rape. No matter if you wanted it to happen or not. He could potentially go to not jail, but prison for those actions. I would recommend you to not see this guy anymore, and maybe start dating boys around your own age. 6 years is a big difference now. When you turn 18 then legally you may do whatever you want, but for now just let him go do him. Not trying to lecture but you either need to tell someone or just end it now.
Lillian Garvin
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Please don't do anything unless you personally are ready. I wouldn't recommend you do it for several reasons. The first reason being that he is 19. It scares me a bit that he suggested you have sex with him because he is probably well aware of the law that states that anyone under the age of 17 can not give legal consent to sexual acts or any kind to someone 17 or older. So basically, if he has sex with you, in the eyes of the law it is rape. If your parents ever found out they could sue him and have him charged as a registered sex offender. So on his part, it is stupid to risk it. Not only is it illegal, and disturbing given the huge age difference, but being 13 your body is not physically ready for intercourse. You are still growing and maturing so it is likely sex wouldn't feel very good for you, in fact it may hurt a lot more than it should for a first time. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything you are uncomfortable with or that you feel your body isn't ready for. I also wouldn't suggest having sex with him if you haven't been together long because this will be a person who you are sharing your first very intimate moment with and you will remember it forever. If he hasn't been with you for long and is suggesting you have sex with him, he may be using you for that. If he isn't then he wont mind waiting a few years until your body is not only ready, but legal as well.
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I'm sorry sweetie but this guy does not love you. He is a pig asking for sex from a thirteen year old who isn't even legally allowed to consent. That shows that he doesn't care about you or your feelings. All he wants is to satisfy his own personal desires. You deserve better than that, let me tell you. I know that you like this guy, but the feeling is not mutual, don't be fooled. I know that you don't like to hear that, so I'm sorry, but I suggest you find someone closer to your age, who respects your wishes, and report this pervert to your parents.
I had a similar experience, and I was molested, so I want to save you from going through that. I wish you all the best, and if you do decide that you wanna stay with him, which I strongly suggest that you don't, don't give in, you are not ready for sex at thirteen. What would happen if you got pregnant for instance? Remember that sex is not the answer, sex is the question, and yes is the answer. And your answer is no.
Good luck, I hope you find someone better. :)
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"DO" NOT.
He doesn't love you yet.
He's "preying" on you.
I'm not sure where you're located and WHAT the "style" of thinking in your area "IS",
BUT
NO,
You haven't even mentioned if YOU want to have sex.
And I'm under the impression that if you did, you would had done it already.
I suggest that either you "REVEAL" to him that you're not ready"...
NOT in a private location, and
NOT at night, and
NOT where you can easily leave, (quickly and safely)....
He may just be a young dick in an old man's game...
That's a SIX year difference AND you're 13!!!!
I vote NO!
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You are underage, and that could put him in jail. You might want to remind him that. After both parties are 18, age is but a number, but right now, it's a slippery slope. And if you don't want sex, tell him so.
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I wanna add something here that i didnt add to my previous post in reguards to this topic.
I understand that you may feel like you have really deep running feelings for this guy, and he may really have them for you, and you may be of the mind set to where in YOUR head, no one will change your mind and tell you that you "cant be with him because of this or that" i know this feeling well because when my NOW husband of 13 years FIRST MET, i was 13 years old and he was newly 21. so i REALLYYYY really DO get it. i understand. BUT (and this is what you need to keep in mind ok???) should anyone find out that you two have been messing around, not only will you not even be able to be with him in a casual sense, but he will go away for a LONGGGG long time. so if you really love him and he REALLY loves you, and you both REALLY want to make things work in the long term, then you need to talk to him about NOT doing this right now.
My husband and i both knew this law at the time, and took that long period of time to just get KNOW one other really well. so well that i got to marry my best friend. He waited for me for as long as it took because he loved me (and im not gonna lie it was difficult) but in the end, as the years went on, we both got to meet each others parents first, spend holidays with both our familys TOGETHER even! and our familys just messed so well that when it WAS finally OK, it was just so right.
i guess im just trying to say if he loves you then you should be able to talk to him and he should be able to understand that this just CANT happen right now, but that you care and want things to work (if thats what you both want i mean) give it some time to get to know each other on a level thats really really deep without the sex first. if he cant handle that then he was just using you and you dont need him anyway. ; )
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First off, tell your parents, cus I'll bet they have no idea you are dating a 19 yr old. Whats wrong with this situation is the age difference. He is of legal age of consent to have sex but you are not. If someone his age goes after a younger person for sex, that is a punishable crime called statutory rape. What is statutory rape?
Statutory rape is the crime that someone can be charged with if they have sex with a person who has not reached the age of consent, but who agrees to have sex. Some countries have different names for this. Some states in the US for example call it 'unlawful sexual penetration' or just 'rape'.
This laws are in existance to protect younger people. Please read the following link on teens sex and the law.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Yes, we are aware that lots of kids your age are having sex but usually with someone else of same range range, under 18. Each state has their own laws regarding two minors having sex if someone, like a parent were to protest and make an issue of it. Its an entirely different matter when an older guy who knows better, is going after young girls knowing full well they are flattered to have the attention, not realizing he's interested in them just for sex, not because he likes her personality. His intent in going after someone your age is to pressure you into giving him sex because an experience like this is beyond your scope of experience and why you felt led to ask us. All it takes is a threat by your parents to call the police. In fact, in some states, sexual contact that constitutes him having committed statutory rape with you can be something like just having kissed. So depending on the place you live, he may already be guilty of statutory rape.
Even if you really do want sex too, it still is a crime.
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