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Taking a break...but it hurts.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and it was an amazing 3 years. We always know how to make each other laugh and each other happy. We love and care for each other very much. About a few days ago, he came to me and wanted to talk. He told me he was re-evaluating his life and wanted to take a break from the relationship so he could "find" himself. He said also he needed some change. I know this break is meant to help us be able to go out and enjoy life without worrying about the other but it really hurts and it's really hard on me. He said that the spark between us was there still but it just wasn't kindling like it should. What makes me more upset about this "break" is he wanted this beautiful necklace back that he gave me for Christmas last year. I'm not sure what to do and honestly this break hurts me more than it is helping. I don't want to seem desperate but I really miss my best friend and I wish he knew that.
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It's totally normal to feel this way. And you have every right to want to know what's going on. "Breaks" in relationships can be good or bad.
If you've been dating for 3 years and you both feel like it's been great then i'm sure it was for a good reason.
After this long period of time, sometimes it's best for both parties to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship and see if you both want to possibly take the next step. But if you're saying that he wants to be able to just go out and enjoy his life, then you might just want to ask him point blank what he really wants. Because with that statement, it seems like he wants to look into his other options.
Believe me, it's not you. Sometimes, this can happen in a relationship and one partner doesn't notice it. Maybe you two do need some alone time.
I really do understand where you're coming from. But maybe you need to just go out and not be worried about this situation. But just know that there is a difference in a "break" and a "break-up" surely he would have made this clear on which one he wanted to do.
Go out and have some fun and just relax. When he's ready, he'll call you and maybe by that time you'll want the same thing or you'll see that there's something else out there for you.
Good Luck.
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Breaks, breakups, arguments, even momentary ignoring are all painful. Everything you are feeling is valid & completely normal. That said, the second i read he asked for the necklace back everything changed, that's your sign that this is absolutely NO BREAK. You can either accept that now or the second after you hand over the gift & his fear of pissing you off & not getting the necklace back are gone. If this were merely a break to find himself & he had every intention of coming back to you the expensive gift wouldn't have even been mentioned. I know this isn't at all what you want to hear, but also know you pretty much knew already. If he doesn't want you it not the end of the world i promise. It just means he wasn't the one & now u get to go find who is. Necklace is yours, it was a gift end of that discusion
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If he's asking for gifts back, love... this isn't a "break" it's a "breakup" and he's not man enough to tell you the truth.
A break is just a break. It means that you don't see each other as much, but you're still friendly. Maybe you casually see some other people, and then get together to evaluate the time apart and decide if you're going move forward with the relationship or if you're better off apart.
A breakup is severing ties with a person and trying to recoup time and money put into the relationship that you just ended. Asking for gifts back means it's over... and he just doesn't want to go through the business of actually telling you.
And that sucks. And he's a real douche bucket for that. Since you're 17, I'm assuming he's close to that age, too... and... well... teenage relationships just don't usually last. I know three people still with a high school sweetheart. It's crappy, but it's just how it goes.
Keep the necklace, give it back. Do whatever makes you feel better. You're not getting him back, though...
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first off NO, he does not get the necklace back, it was a gift fair and square. whatever B.S. reason he has for wanting it back just say "NOPE, you should have thought of that BEFORE you gave it to me SORRY" ; )
secondly, YES after a while "the rose" can "fall off the bloom" relationship wise and thats when the real layers of people can start to show and that can be a scary time. maybe he was scared off by that? idk.
From what you said HE said, it sounds like he was just "having fun" and now that things are getting the slightest bit serious he wants out. In what WAY is he feeling like he needs to "re-evaluate" things? and why cant you be there with him, by his side to help him do that? if not as a gf but a best friend? who said that your all the sudden no longer good for helping with issues hes having? you should be number one for this stuff. These are the things that would be going through MY mind at least.
why dont you wait it out and see if he comes to you. dont call him. dont text. lets see if hes really serious about your relationship EVEN through all this "re-evaluating" hes doing. ; ) good luck sweetie.
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Hang in there girl! Break ups and breaks are tough!
When me and my first boyfriend broke up I was devastated! But I found someone so much better for me after him. Even when I never thought I would.
I think it's strange that he would want his necklace back I because it was a gift for you. Guys should know better than to take back gifts!!
I know you miss him but just keep trying to better yourself and focus on your happiness!! If y'all are meant to be together he will come around! That's sucha confusing time in everyone's lives and he's probably just figuring things out. Guys often can't concentrate on making girls happy until they have something going for themselves. My boyfriend in the first year kept distancing himself because he said he didn't deserve me and needed to make money before he seriously dated me but 5 years later and I realize it wasn't cause he didn't love me or want to break my heart, but instead really cared for me. Point is, your guy could be trying to make himself successful before he continues to date you and make you happy.
You deserve to be treated like a princess and everything truthfully does happen for some strange reason. I'd just focus on making YOU happy and then maybe he will come around.
Try working out, going out with friends, bettering relationships with the family, and just enjoying some you time :)
Just hang in there and if you need anything feel free to ask me anything else!
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