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Ok so my ex bf and I broke up in January. I met him two weeks ago so he could help me with my car. The whole time he kept touching me and we were really acting like couples until be pulled out his phone and showed me a pic of a girl on his phone saying how that's his girl. I was upset on the inside but I still didn't let him know I was was. The whole time we kept acting like a couple. We didn't kiss though or anything. So yesterday we were messaging back and forth. He claimed how he showed me the pic of the girl just so that he could get on my nerves. I spoke to him today, he told me that right now he's too busy with school and work and that he doesn't want a relationship right now. We both go to the same college. I tried to be supportive because I still want to be with him and he also said he'll let me know when he decide if he still wants us to be together again. I asked him if he claimed he was too busy for me because he was dating someone and I also asked about the picture of the girl. He said "the picture is my business don't worry about that". I'm so confuse right now because I feel like just maybe he broke things off with me just to be with her. When we were together everything was fine. I just don't know why the sudden changes toward me that led to the breakup. I really do want to get back with him but not right now after this semester ends in May. Any ideas? Please help (link)
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Oh honey... he's playing you.
I'm not gonna give you advice on getting him back, because someone like that is bad for you. Especially the comment that you didn't need to worry about the photo he blatantly and purposefully showed you? That's manipulation. He's testing to see how smitten you are and how much you'll tolerate. You deserve someone that treats you like a human being... I recommend you date around.
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I'm a lesbian and I'm not sure how to tell my family. They are very Christian and homophobic. I asked my best friend but she wasn't sure. She said I definitely need to do it though. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. Please help me (link)
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You don't HAVE to do it.
I don't like saying that, but it's entirely true. My best friend is gay, and he's never come out to his family. I don't think he ever intends to, since he's pushing 30 at this point. He felt, that for him personally, coming out was more trouble than it was worth. He knew his family wouldn't respond well and that he might not get to see them ever again if he did come out. So he just didn't.
He did move out of state and has a long-term boyfriend he lives with. He does come home for holidays and just doesn't bring it up.
Some of the family knows, of course. His brothers figured it out, and I think some cousins around his age, but they don't say anything.
I understand that it's really hard to hide a vital piece of yourself from people that you love. I know that's really hard to consider the fact they might reject you, and the very real reality that not every family comes around. I've seen people get thrown out for being gay. I've seen their family send them away to get brainwashed into being straight. I've seen them under so much religious pressure to be straight that they got married to the opposite sex and killed themselves after a while. I've seen physical violence from family because someone came out... I understand that this isn't easy and it's horrifically terrifying.
That's why you should know that you DON'T HAVE TO come out. Especially not right now. You could definitely put it on the shelf and come out after you graduate high school and college and move out and know that you're not going to end up homeless if this doesn't go well. You really need to sit down and think about your backup plan. If you tell them and it goes bad, what will you do? I hope you have a solid support system in your life, and you should consult with them.
Don't jump the gun on this just because you dislike having a secret. Secrets like this are really hard, but they're really hard for a reason. You have to know that no matter what happens you're going to be okay.
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A boy fucking in ass whole will a girl get pregnant.. (link)
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Quick and Dirty: No.
Do it in the butt and you get no baby.
Just like if someone puts it in your butt you won't get pregnant. Same thing.
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So, I'm a teenager, and my parents seem happy together. They go places together and talk, but... Well, first off, they don't sleep in the same bed. My mom has three dogs who like sleeping with her, so she sleeps on the couch with them. My dad sleeps in the bed alone because the dogs annoy him when they crowd the whole bed. Is this weird? Also, I know this'll sound weird, but they never have sexual intercourse. I know it's none of my business, but I know for a FACT that they haven't done anything of the sort since I was, like, born... I'd know if they did, LOL. Since they're never alone in a room with the doors shut or whatever, and they're just never... Alone. Except for when they talk and are at the store, but I know that my parents aren't intimate. There's honestly no way. Is this weird? I've brought it up a few times jokingly, and my mom says because she's too busy or whatever. It's kinda concerning. (link)
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The older you get, the less you care about sex. It's a strange and unfortunate thing that happens in life. You don't need sex to be in a happy relationship. And as a person with four dogs that crowd my bed, I can see this kind of thing happening to me in the future. Lol.
It's not really weird. It's relatively normal.
Fun Fact: You sleep better when you're NOT next to someone else. Science says so.
If your parents don't fight. If your parents don't throw plates at each other. If your parents seem happy, then you shouldn't worry about it. Relationships work a lot of different ways. Many of which, you won't understand until you're in one that works contrary to how you thought they should work.
Want an example? I'm asexual. I don't have sex. It's not that sex is gross. It's not that I dislike being close to someone. I just don't feel sexual attraction to people. People can be nice to look at. People can be wildly fascinating. I just don't get that moment where you look at someone and want to have sex with them. I still date. I still have relationships. I still like to make out with people. I just don't have sex. To me sex and intimacy are totally separate things. And... that's weird. But it's how my life works.
So, I wouldn't worry about your parents. Love comes in a lot of different shapes and sizes, with different accessories and features. It's a strange beast, and it's a personal experience for everyone.
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Hello,
My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you. (link)
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Look I'm with your friend.
What will really come out of you telling him?
He's gonna be hurt. He's gonna be mad. He might leave you. He'll be wary of women forever (albeit with good reason).
You want to confess because you think it'll make you feel better, and it will. Him being mad is what you want. You want some semblance of punishment for something you feel guilty for.
That's great and all, but all this accomplishes is hurting someone that you care about.
You need to get this other guy off your back, and you need to NOT tell your boyfriend if you're hoping to make this work. It's totally dishonest, sure. I can't disagree with you, but sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
If you tell him, you're going to hurt him, and he's not going to trust you again. He might say he will. He might give it a good try, but the first time you step even a toe out of line, he'll be down your throat and bringing this up ALL OVER AGAIN. Over and over and over again, because he will NEVER be able to trust you.
You messed up. It happens.
Now you have to decide what you're going to do about it.
You tell him and risk everything that you want with him. You risk your relationship, your reputation, your credibility.
You don't tell him and you risk him finding out someday. But it's easier cleanup. Less broken hearts to cut yourself on.
Get rid of the other guy. Tear his heart out. If you want a future with your man, this other guy can't be anywhere around.
If you care more about feeling better, then be prepared to throw away your relationship.
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I'm 20 & I've always been quite shy. I've had one close friend for 13 years & I've had a boyfriend for 3 years who I'm crazy about. When I'm with them, I'm really happy & chatty, I like to go out with them etc. I've been getting better with my 'shyness' and I'm much more confident. I've just never really liked going out in big groups and find it really hard to talk to people I'm not close with. I'm not scared, it's just that I have no idea what to say. I find it hard to find things in common. I'm a private person, I don't like talking about myself to people I'm not close with, I don't drink alcohol, I don't like sport, I'm not girly, I love studying.. I'm starting to think I'm really boring. I don't fit in anywhere. I've been tested for social anxiety and was told I didn't have it. I was happy at school, I had friends, I'm happy to go to my tutorials for my course I'm studying, I talk to people online who I've never met.
I've just started my first ever job and it started off well, I was making conversation getting to know people but they're really different to me. I've been invited out for meals already because it's someone's birthday and someone else is leaving but I really don't want to go as I don't like fancy restaurant food/can't afford it. They're saying they'll get me to drink tea/coffee soon (I don't like hot drinks) and go out partying with them etc. When one person said they organise social activities I just start dreading the idea of that. I feel like I'm being made to change the way I am and it's really upsetting me, I'm in tears. I just want get on with people without having to do things I really don't like. Am I being selfish? Do I really have to go out, drink alcohol, waste money just so people will like me? :'(
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If you don't want to go out with these people, don't go.
Work is not a social activity. You're not necessarily there to make friends, you're there to work, and you aren't under obligation to conform to their standards or go out with them.
I've been at my job for 9 years. I don't really go out with anyone from work. We're not FRIENDS as much as we're just coworkers. I've never been out with most of them, and the few times I had people meet me out it was MY choice based on a shared interest we had in music or something.
This is just the adult form of peer pressure. There are two ways you can deal with it, without caving into them.
A, you can tell them to lay off because it's making you uncomfortable. It's actually an HR violation for them to NOT stop, because it then becomes harassment.
I know what you're thinking. That seems mean and you don't want to make a poor impression on them. You'd like to be friendly, but you'd like to feel like you're not being pressured to change.
That's where option B comes in... You just smile, laugh a bit, and tell them you can't. You have an obligation. You can't afford it. You'd love to, but (insert anything here and then stick to that being important). As for hot drinks, you just don't drink them and if they try to get you to, you laugh politely and decline.
It's not an ideal solution, but there isn't one.
You're in a situation where you're going to see these people for a while, so you don't want to have to live with the harassment... because that's really what it is... but you also want them to like you.
My approach is to pick your fights, which is a mixture of A and B. You can probably laugh off a lot, but if it bothers you, you just need to tell them that it bothers you. You don't have to change, you shouldn't change, and people will like you or they won't anyways. If they like you now, they'll respect that you don't like going out and that you're not into partying. That's people.
Adopt the slogan: It's not my thing.
Then you smile, and walk away. It's a brush off, but it's not a mean one. It's a way of escaping the conflict without really getting into it.
YOU SHOULD COME OUT WITH US!
Oh no, thanks. ::insert genuine smile:: that's not really my kind of thing. ::brisk exit so they can't argue::
If it gets to a point that these things don't work... talk to your manager. It's not tattling, it's asking for the work environment you're guaranteed under your corporate guidelines.
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How do I love myself? (link)
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Loving yourself is the same as loving anyone else.
You have to know yourself, really well, and then you have to take all the things that you don't like about yourself and ignore them.
Yeah, people are flawed, but when you love someone you tend to overlook those flaws, or love them FOR those flaws, and it's the same with yourself.
Loving yourself is really hard, because you are the person that will criticize you the most. You're the one that can look at a flaw and see nothing good about it, so you have to try to look at it like someone else would.
I also recommend seeing a professional. Loving yourself is hard, and it takes time, and a little help never hurt anyone. I'm not saying get on anti-depressants, or that you need medication. There are plenty of psychologists in the world, and they don't prescribe drugs. They just talk to you, they listen to you, they'll reassure you that your thoughts and feelings are valid. They can help you get to a place where you like yourself.
Think of it as couples counseling for you and your soul.
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I'm 14 and I've been cutting for a few years. I really want to stop but I keep failing. Does anyone have some good advice? (link)
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I'm obligated to tell you to seek medical help. There's a lot of reasons people cut, and you'd be quite surprised at the variety of those reasons, so isolating the reason you cut and getting help with that emotion or scenario is really important.
In the interim, as an ex cutter myself, I have some things you can try.
If you're doing it because you connect to the pain of it, try rubber bands, or even better are those hair ties that have the little metal piece on them. You snap them and it stings like hell. It's not the same, of course, but you get used to it. Also, you can hold ice until your fingers burn... that's a good one...
If you're a picker, meaning you pick at scabs, put Elmer's glue on your skin in layers... let it dry, then another layer... putting it over red marker helps with the look of a scab. Then you can pick it off at your leisure as an anxiety reliever.
If you're doing it to see blood, draw on yourself. Draw all over yourself with red marker. It's not the same, but none of these things are, really. You have to be willing to compromise a little to make it work.
The big thing is that you're going to have to identify and DEAL WITH your triggers... which isn't easy, but it's necessary.
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My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends) (link)
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That's tricky, and there's no easy answer.
The easiest answer would be to split the day. You can't stay for the wedding, but maybe show up for the ceremony and then go home. It's still not going to be pretty. There are still going to be hurt feelings, but that's the nature of this particular beast.
Yes, it's crap if you don't show up to a friend's wedding.
Yes, it's unfortunate that you were married the same day she will be married.
Yes, it's painful for your husband that you have obligations on an anniversary.
But it's too late to go back and fix any of that timing, so you're just going to have to move on as best you can... which means splitting the day.
I say you go to the ceremony, then you go home. The reception is just food. She'll be busy with well-wishers and whatnot anyways. You apologize profusely, and then go home to your husband.
Do something really nice for him. Plan something that's really special TO HIM. Especially since he's military. You run the risk that one day your husband might get deployed and never come back to you, so it's important that you DO make the most of anniversaries and special events, in spite of other obligations.
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I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for. (link)
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There's not a lot you can really do if the victim isn't interested in pressing charges against you. You can turn yourself into the police, but they can't do anything if the victim won't press charges. If you're really looking for some kind of weird absolution for what you've done, you could confess to a priest, who will assign you penance, and you should see a counselor about it, too.
Don't FORCE the victim into the legal process. It's hell for the victim. It's more hell than you'll get being punished, which is F*kd up, but real life. If they're not good with it, then you're just going to have to learn to live with yourself, even if it eats you up inside... which is why I recommend a counselor.
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This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks (link)
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Well... if you don't want to flirt with him, never touch him, don't get flustered around him, and tell him VERY FIRMLY and even MEANLY if you have to, that you're not interested in him, and if necessary that his interest in you makes you uncomfortable.
If you're not opposed to his existence around you, then you can leave it there, but if he does something that bothers you: A, don't laugh at it. It's not funny, and giggling because you're uncomfortable is confusing to men. B, tell him to stop, that whatever he did is unacceptable, and that you would like him to leave you alone. If he fails to leave you alone, don't hesitate to get any kind of officials, school, parents, law, whatever, involved in keeping him away from you.
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'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant? (link)
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Only time will tell...
But I'm betting no. I mean it was stupid, and there's a chance she could get pregnant from such a thing, but she took the pill, so I'm betting you'll be fine.
In general, I'd be more careful than this in the future unless you're really into having a kid, paying child support, or becoming a deadbeat dad whose kid hates them for abandoning it since they were still a kid themselves when the child was conceived.
Sex is fun, but it's not really that hard to be careful about it.
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I'm 18 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 4months, and Before that ,we were good friends. I've been getting frustrated a lot lately because I feel like my boyfriend is still trying to find himself . He's a good person , but he has influences that cause him to feel angry/depressed . His mom is what I would describe a person who means well but shows it in wrong ways , causing my boyfriend to feel like he is a mistake . This can cause him to be a negative person . Then my boyfriend has these days were he is very positive he feels thankful to have me and is very happy . My problem is , I just started college and I feel like there is so much going on in his life that it's starting to stress me out . I love him to death don't get me wrong but I feel like the choices he's making is showing his true colors and I don't want to be stuck with the person for the rest of my life that I don't agree with any of his choices . Am I being to picky? I feel bad because he's been through so much and I want to be here for him but if he's going to be drinking and smoking while I'm working hard to get a degree , is this really worth it? (link)
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From age 18 to about 23 is the WEIRDEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE for a number of a reasons... but the biggest one is because everyone you know is going to do that "find themselves" thing and try to break out of being a child, but not really grow up.
You're on a good path. I feel personal pride for you knowing that you're in college and have a goal. You may have noticed that not everyone is going to be like that... and as a side note, some people are going to start with one goal and halfway through find a new goal, or lose track of their goal and things get weird. BUT, you have a good path going on and you can't let someone else ruin that for you.
You wouldn't be the first couple to split up because of college and life changes. You also wouldn't be wrong to split up just because you don't like the person he is becoming. That's your right as a part of the relationship.
And yes, you're going to feel a little bad because in your head you're leaving him while he's going through a lot, but you shouldn't feel bad. Life is up to the people living it. You can't fix his life, and you can't let him drag down your own.
Not to mention, you are really going to enjoy talking to and potentially dating people at your college... they're going to on your same level mentally, and you'll temporarily fall in love with a liberal arts major, and it will be a story to tell your kids in the future as a reason they, too, need to go to college. Lol.
Have fun. Live well. Regret nothing.
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I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything? (link)
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Probably not.
Here's the thing. You voluntarily sold him naked pictures of yourself. He is allowed to do whatever he wants with them.
You could, maybe call the police on grounds of extortion. I mean... he's kind of blackmailing you, but I'm not sure they would really care. Maybe the cybercrimes division? You can always see what they can do, and at worst you'd be no better off than right now.
I say you bite the bullet and let him post it. Yes... it will be on the internet forever, but it will fade off into the millions of naked people on the internet and the chances someone you know will find it are slim. But that's just me.
What's important is NOT TO SEND THIS GUY ANYTHING ELSE.
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I'm just curious, what does your body start using first, muscle or fat? Say that I was stuck on an island or something and I have water but I haven't eaten in a day or two, would my body eat away at my muscle and then stored fat or vice versa? (link)
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It depends what you're doing... if you exert a lot of energy in a panic, it uses muscle because of the higher energy content... if you're just hanging out, building a fire, etc... it will use fat.
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can kissing and fingering causes late periods
(link)
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No. No it cannot.
Based on your age, your period might not be regular yet, or if you make a dramatic change in lifestyle, like picking up a sport, or quitting a sport, that can affect your period... also stress, sleep deprivation... all kinds of things can make it late, but not kissing and fingering.
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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg
I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.
I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me. (link)
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A, you're not ugly. In fact, you have some amazing eyes going on.
2, With your facial structure, you can pull off almost anything with short sides... I don't recommend a shaggy look for you.
The problem right now just seems to be that the top is WAY too long... The long top look is in right now, so if you just trim it up and ask the stylist you see for a good way to style it, you would probably be fine...
If you're looking for something completely different... I would ask your stylist. I know men don't like going into a cost cutters without a plan, but that's how my hair gets sorted every single time...
Me: "I dunno what I want. Make me pretty."
Stylist: "Kay."
Or, I go in with a vague idea...
Me: "I want something like this, but not awful."
Stylist: "Yeah, we can do that."
If you just want something to tell your stylist... you can always start with a crew cut, and let it grow out from there, so you can plan something better. Crew cuts are clean, neat, low maintenance, and generally work on any face.
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So I'm 15 and yes I know that I have not experienced real love yet with a boyfriend. When I'm in a relationship I never say I love you first because frankly I don't know how to tell if I even love them, so when they say I love you I just say it back. Which I know isn't right and I should be upfront about my feelings, I just rather not break someone's heart. When do you finally realize what love is and how do you know if you truly actually love someone ? Any advice is welcomed, thank you for anyone who answers my question. (link)
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Honestly, you never really know until something weird happens...
You think you know you do, and then realize you don't KNOW that you do. Then you think you probably don't, and realize that your heart hurts when you think that...
One day, you're going to wake and think about someone, or look at them sleeping next to you, and you will just know.
As stupid as that sounds, that's literally what happens. You'll smile like an idiot, and be happy all day... until you start wondering if THEY love YOU... and then the whole process starts over... and one day you wake up and know they do...
THEN... you start worrying about the future... and that's love.
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My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
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Don't go running to your dad. It's not worth it. And if your mom is a crazy person that degrades you, then let her be your grandmother and sister's problem.
Everything, right now, is about you. YOU can do this.
First, you need a cheaper place to live. I know it's unappealing, but you could stay at a cheaper motel. I lived in one when I first moved to a new state, for six months. It was crap, and a little scary because it was essentially a hooker motel, but nothing bad happened to me. You keep to yourself, and nothing bad will happen to you.
Alternatively, you can check Craigslist or a venue of your choosing, for people seeking roommates. Sometimes, you can find 4-5 people living in a house together, and they're paying very little per person. It's not always the best condition... sometimes you don't get a ROOM, but you get SPACE... This is only for a short time, though, so you do what you have to right now.
Second, you need a better job, or a different job. I recommend finding a second job. A, it's easier to get a second job that a better job. 2, you can pull more hours working two jobs than one job. D, with your current schedule, you'd be a ringer for working overnights at a grocery store or something, and graveyard shifts, depending on field, will pay just a little more.
If you find yourself with free time, you can even get a third job with a flexible work schedule. The aim is to put in a lot of hours, and save as much of your income as humanly possible.
GET A BANK ACCOUNT. If you have one jointed to family, don't use that one. You want one that's just you, and you want your places of employment to do direct deposit. Straight into the bank. You pull out ONLY what you need for rent and food, and you save the rest. Also... get a public transportation pass. It seems hard to get one, because it seems expensive at the moment, but over the course of the year, you'll actually spend LESS and be able to save MORE because of the pass.
This is going to be hard work, but at the end of it, is that you can save, assuming you budget correctly and have no vices, enough to get a studio apt, all to yourself, in a lower middle class area in a short amount of time. It's not going to be the best place you'll live, but it will be JUST yours. It's home base. It's a safe haven.
Also, with all the work experience you can accrue in that amount of time, you can write a proper resume and hand it out to better places of employment. What your resume will reflect is that you can work hard, and that you don't give up. Whenever possible, include a cover letter with your resume that talks about WHY you hold so many jobs at once, and how your main goal is to be able to have one job. Also, talk about how you'd like to work for that company, etc. Go to a library, ask for a book on resumes and cover letters... also check the internet...
It's not going to be easy, and it's going to suck for a few months... but this can be done. I've done it, I've watched other people do it, and at the end of it all people are so much stronger than they would give themselves credit for. You have to think of you... And remember that YOU are what's important, and that you have no limitations.
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will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
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Honestly, no. God won't forgive you. If god ends up being the Catholic god, you'll go to hell. If god ends up being the Muslim god, you'll go to hell. If god ends up being the Indian incarnations of god, you're still gonna have a horrific afterlife. God never forgives suicide, because god is an unforgiving narcissist that spits on people who take his gift of life for granted...
Or so the legends tell you.
If you really believe in god, you should just take the life you have and live it, because those that suffer are supposed to reach the highest levels of heavenly awesome in the afterlife. The hell you face here will keep you from eternal hell in the afterlife... if you believe in god.
If you don't believe in god, you still shouldn't kill yourself. Not because life is awesome and you just can't see it right now, or something, but because that's a selfish, cop-out, stupid way to go. I know you're sitting there, and you're thinking something along the lines of, "but my life is over, so what's the point?" And... no. Your life is not over. It's just going to be radically different, no matter how your trial turns out. And that's scary and it sucks, and I'm not saying it's going to be at all pleasant, but you made a decision and it came with consequences. That's not your whole life, that's an aspect of your life.
Life is hell. I'll admit that. I've tried to kill myself a number of times over the years, and I'll admit that, too. But here's the thing, guy... Every single time I wake up on the other side of my attempt and think about how stupid that attempt was. Not because the world is suddenly aglow with the epic awesome of epiphany, but because it doesn't solve anything. If I'm not here, nothing got better. I'm just not here.
If you go to jail, your life isn't over... it's just different... and you'll have to deal with that, sure. I know a lot of people in jail, for various reasons. I know people in jail that will never get out. Their lives aren't over. And YOU are not going to go in for life, no matter what the verdict is.
Can I tell you not to do it? No. I can tell you that if you do, it will be the single most ignorant, childish thing you did in your life. But at the end of the day, what do you care about some advice off the internet? You have to face your own demons.
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