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How to stand up for myself to him
(I am seventeen, girl, gonna be senior.. He is nineteen, boy, just graduated). So me and my ex have been broken up for about nine ish months? We dated for eight and had a reeeeally messy break up. While we were dating he, yes, had me pretty whipped. It's something I'm really not proud of. But he took advantage of that in a lot of ways and really hurt me... To sum it up he pressured/guilted me into physcial stuff, dumped me in a text, and told me he only stayed with me for so long cause he liked hooking up and he never actually liked me. Yet yeah, he had me whipped cause he reallly had me fooled that he loved me. He would actually force me to look him in the eye while he said he loved me... Didn't really think someone could lie to my face like that but ugh that's another story. Point is, I found out after we broke up that'd he'd talk a bunch of shit to his friends/baseball team. Just really disrespectful stuff you shouldn't be saying about your girlfriend. Anyway. Even though we’ve been broken up he will still mess with me. I’m pretty sure he gets enjoyment out of it. He'll just rip on me cause he knows I used to take it and he thinks I still will. Which okay... truth time: I'm not a very assertive person, he knows that, I don't know I'm just... a doormat. Or I used to be. For example, last week:
Him: Put some clothes on you look like a whore.
Me: You’re a dick.
Him: You love my dick.
Me: (quietly) Stop.
Him: Make me.
Me: Come on.
Him: You know what?
Him: I think I still have you whipped. I’m pretty sure I could get you do anything.
Me: You’re an idiot.
Him: If I dropped my pants right now would you suck me off?
Me: (attempted to push him away, he stopped me)
Him: I’m not gonna lie sweetie, you’re a tiny little thing. That’s probably not a good idea.
Me: Just let me go.
Him: I can’t take you seriously. You’re just so cute when you’re mad.
This is where he tries to pinch my cheek and I smack his hand away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up to him.
Me: Let go.
Him: (Laughing)
Me: Seriously, stop.
Him: Okay, okay. But remember, as much as you deny it you know you’re still mine.
UHM CREEPY?? Like I don’t even know what that means and I’m just so pissed off at him right now, like I honestly don’t even know what to do!! He’s basically dating this other girl so what the heck does he think he’s doing…? I want to talk to him but every time we talk he just has this way where as you can see from above, I can never find it in me to just REALLY tell him off. Sometimes I think he’s right. He gives me all this shit and I can never just yell at him. And it really takes a toll on me… The thing is, I don’t want to get anyone else involved (like my boyfriend) because I feel like I’m never gonna solve this problem until I can handle him myself. I need to do this for me. That last line has been in my head 24/7 for the past few days because I think he’s right. I need to tell him to piss off but but I’m scared I’m not gonna have the guts. Please help me… Tips, things to say? Anything.
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This guy is SUCH a tool/asshole.
In my opinion you should cut all contact with him and just ignore him whenever he tries to talk to you. He thinks he still has you but obviously you both are dating other people and he needs to respect that. I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of telling him why you don't want to talk anymore. Just cut all contact and go on with your life because you deserve SOOO much better!
Good luck!
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This guy is a classic example of an asshole who has gone too far.
You posted "Him: I’m not gonna lie sweetie, you’re a tiny little thing. That’s probably not a good idea.
Me: Just let me go."
That right there is a threat, You should and need to let someone know what this guy is doing. It is pretty clear in the conversation that you are intimated by him and he is using that against you. You do not say anything to him, You let an adult know that this guy is had not only threatened you but he is harassing you. You had told him to stop several times and he didn't. That is wrong and definitely needs to be addressed. No one ever has the right to put a hand on you like that.
Also, From now on you need to say something. Be stern and tell him to fuck off if you have too. Never ever let someone walk on you, As long as you do people will always take advantage of you and I learned that the hard way.
Tell your parents or let someone know who can take action towards him.
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Ohhh no no no sweetheart. You NEED to stop this. This guy sounds like a complete moran with a huge ego problem. If you're too scared to 'tell him off' then just say simple little this to make him insecure.For example:
Him: If I dropped my pants right now would you suck me off?
You: *Smiles* Sorry I don't put dirty used LITTLE toys in my mouth.
He may act like it was a stupid remark but he'll always be insecure that his penis is small.
And if he brings up the whole 'I have you whipped thing' again just tell him you faked it. You faked every moan, you faked every smile, you faked every 'I love you' and he never ment jack to you. So if anyone is whipped it's him because he keeps coming back for more of 'you'. Stand up for yourself sweetie. Don't let an idiot walk all over you like that. Just make little remarks that you know will cut him the deepest. Goodluck (:
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