Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: I haven't been on this site for literally years but I thought someone here could help me. I can't go to my friend with this because I've told her similar things before and she immediately says the worst, like he is cheating and hiding things from me.

I'd really like someone else's opinion, please.

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he is 21 and I am 20. I basically live with him and I'm with him pretty much all the time. BUT I can never touch his phone. He literally fights me over it if I get ahold of it. He also has two phones. He says one is for games and the other is for calling and texting. I've been on the games one before freely with his permission. The other one I have only been on when I snuck around when he was sleeping, and I did find horrible heart-crushing things on it. He was talking to multiple girls, and even in sexual ways. He told one girl that he was going to have sex with her when he visited another state and she was agreeing to it.
Talking to him about it, he denied everything I said and said he was never actually going to have sex with her.

(This wasn't the first time I saw him talking to other people. A couple months before he was talking to his ex, who we went through terrible things with. She is psycho and I don't know why he'd even think about talking to her. I guess she was hard to let go.)

I've accused him before of continuing to talk to other girls, calling them beautiful, deleting the messages after, etc. He gets extremely mad, yells at me, and leaves the room. I can recall this happening 3 times where I'm seriously crying and scared of him.

It seems like every day I see on his phone a pop-up saying a girl accepted his friend request. I ask him and he says its someone he knew from where he lived before, and he had a lot of friends who were girls. But all of them are like... Beautiful, have lots of likes on their pictures(from him too), and.. ya know? Like, they don't seem like real girls. But their location sure enough says where he is from. BUT who even has that many friends? He adds a LOT of girls. "That request is from a long time ago." Yeah, okay.

He also used to take his phone in the shower with him. I say USED TO because he doesn't shower when I'm there anymore, I'm assuming because I confronted him about it.

One last thing, I was on his games phone and went on his Facebook to see him telling another girl she's "so beautiful" and then later, it was gone. He doesn't remember it all at. So, I know he deletes everything. And, of course, denies it.

I'm sorry this is so long. If someone can give their opinion on this, like how I can help the situation or help fix these problems we have, I'd be very appreciative. I really do love him. Taking away all of these things I mentioned above, he does NOT seem like someone who would cheat. I know him really well. But all of this is beyond my mind.

I think you deep down know the answer to this question. You can not force a man or woman to settle down if they are not ready. For instance, You are catching this man you really like talking to other woman and hes saying well I didnt do it. Then who did? You deserve soo much better.

Q: I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for.

Coming from someone who was raped and decided not to do anything about it I regret not doing something. If you raped someone and your admitting for it you need to go and turn your self in. Be the bigger person you ruined someones life just because they wants to move on and forget they wont be able to.

Q: This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks

Not really. Your body reacts on its own. I would just tell him I'm glad we are friends or something like that so he knows he is in the friends zone and staying there if that's were you want him

Q: I have lied to my boyfriend his car handle fell off so I try to fix it with some super glue he came to my house that evening and asked me if I tried to fix his hand on his car with super glue and I stood in front of him face to face and I said no so he said well I'm going to call my son and see if he done it so you got a hold of his son and his son said no I didn't do it look at the cameras that you have at your house and it will tell who did it. So the next day when he left for work I text him that I did ithe forgive me for that stupid lie but he still broke up with me because I did it face to face if you truly love somebody you shouldn't have to lie to him you should tell them the truth what should I do I asked him for a second chance but he's not listening or even talking to me

You have to think of a way to gain his trust back. That is the hardest thing to gain back it takes time and he may never forgive you. I'm sorry I hope you can think of away to gain it back good luck

Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years now. He was in the same college, two years elder. Passed out the year we started dating and started working. We haven't ever had major problems except for once when he couldn't clear a major exam and his parents blamed it on his distraction because of me but we eventually got back because he got a good job and he loved me.

We just spent the last ten days together on a holiday with his friends and a couple of mine and then at his place alone for a couple of days.
We got into a petty fight two days back and he told me he really thinks we should see new people. He feels since I'm just 19 and he's 22 there is a lot more in life then getting serious for each other.

I let him be for a day and when we met next to talk this out he said he doesn't want to see new people. He was just saying that to make me angry. But he feels like we should break up because he thinks relationships are restrictive and he feels bound and he can't be himself. He told me he wants to still be with me and do all the things we used to do like go out for dinners, watch movies etc but he can't be physical with me. He feels when we do he gets too emotionally attached to me and he doesn't want that .We are too into each other.

He accepted that he still loves me and will because I'm a huge part of his life and he doesn't want to feel this way for any other girl. But right now he feels like he isn't fit for relationships and he can't see himself in one ever, even in the future. He knows i'd wait for this to work out but he said he didnt want to give me false hopes. He would try to make this work out too but right now he cant.

He feels now that we are bound by a relationship he would be able to express his feelings better in front of me. He loves me as much as he loves him mom and best friends and he wants me to be there but he said he can live without the sex.

We agreed on neither breaking up or dating. And I couldn't accept calling this a friendship so we just agreed on not defining it till he clears his head. But I can't stop feeling hurt and insecure.

I love him. But I can't understand what happened to him suddenly. What am I supposed to do? I'm in a delimma because I want him and this relationship back. Is there a chance ? Is this just a phase and should I just play along by giving him time?

Not to hurt your feelings but I assume your on here wanting real advice so I'll give it to you. To me those are signs he's either talking to someone else or wants to has someone in mind. At least he's being respectful ending it with you to talk to someone else and not cheat on your your best bet is to give a little space you are both young and there is a lot out their to explore if it is meant to be you will both find your ways back together

Q: I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do

I really can not answer this question. I'm not sure how old you are how ever it does show great responsibility that you are wanting to ask their permission

Q: will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up

Please don't it's not the answer there are support groups out there people to talk to. Try that first please

Q: Recently, I have come to the conclusion that being quiet is the best thing that I can do to ease my social probems. Socially, I am tolerated at my small highschool, and at home, I have to deal the luxury of having a non understanding mother to deal with not to mention my pest of a brother (age 9). My freshman year I tried everything to try to be liked and accepted by my peers. Mainly because I felt if I was being tolerated at school maybe its due to a problem that I have. By everything I mean everything ex: Carrying peoples bookbags, as well as mine to each class going out of my way to be kind despite their nasty demeaning attitudes. That failed. Now I am approaching my sophmore year and I see the same delima knocking on my door trying to make my situation work has only resulted in getting spit in my face. So my pivotal question would be how do I fly under the radar unnoticed? How can I approach my situation in the most quiet way possible. I am willing to do whatever it takes. It has taken me a very long time to see that some people just arent liked, and socially something in my character is the funk to any social success that I could get at school and at home. At this point all of my interest in making friends at my school has vanished I give up this has been going on for over 3 years now.(I am not completley friendless but many of my friends are outside of school) I just know that the transition from being sociable to suddenly nonsociable is a drastic one. I need step by step help on how to approach this goal.

I suppose you could do that. How ever some people just have trouble fitting in in large crowds my so being one of them. He has Aspergers. He gets nervous isnt sure how to act to in public. Be your self. it sounds dumb but dont try and be someone who you are not. If you want to make long term friends with someone you need to be your self. keep your head held high and if your not confident do what it takes for your self to be confident. think positive all the time. good luck

Q: Hey. I've been sort of depressed lately because I'm in high school and I'm about 6 or 7 months younger than a lot of my friends. I'm really jealous of them because I volunteer at two hospitals. I'm a greeter at one, and I do filing at the other. I volunteer Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays which totals 16 hours. A lot of my friends turned 15 halfway through this past school year (I'm a rising sophomore) and I'm just turning 15 on August 3rd. One of my friends in particular really really bugs me, because sometimes we hang out and she tells me how all of her coworkers and higher ups at work just love her, and literally tell her that she's a ray of sunshine. She also tells me about her perfect grades. I feel like asking her, "Why not just move to Stepford?" It just bugs me that some of my friends have jobs (this friend tells me about how other mutual friends have jobs too) while I volunteer doing slave jobs for no pay. It also bugs me that she's so perfect. I can't find any flaws but bragging without knowing about it. If flaws were little dots from markers, I would be completely covered in ink and she would have one little dot that probably nobody would notice because she would probably NOT WEAR MAKEUP AND STILL HAVE IT NOT SHOW AND BE FLAWLESS. Last year I volunteered at a Bible camp, and I got the little kids -_- who I really don't care for because idk they just annoy me sometimes.

I hate to say your not being a very good friend. Your friends are excited and you should be excited for them. You are volunteering that's awesome at least your not sitting on your butt playing video games. Who do you help at work. You help families sick people. Your not a doctor but greeting people are just as important especially in a hospital you are there showing them some one cares saying hello to someone who maybe never gets a hello from anyone. Don't grownup so fast slow down take a step back and look at your life. Focus on your family support your friends. I hope things get a little better for you

Q: I am so confused. I dont know what to do anymore. I am depressed all the time. To the point where all I want to do is cry and at times it takes all I have not to. I feel so alone. I have been married for 8 years but we never talk and lately he and I have been sleeping in separate rooms. We dont even argue we just dont talk. I know I am not happy anymore and I havent been for a long time. But we have children together and this is the only serious relationship I have ever had. To top it all he is controlling so I have never had a job and I dont know if I can support myself or my kids without him. I dont want to be miserable forever but I am terrified of life without him. I dont know how to survive without him. And I have absolutly no friends not a single one because my high school friends and I have drifted apart and I am not allowed out to have any. And I have no family I grew up in foster homes. So without him I am completely alone. I have no one to turn to. No one to stay with til I get on my feet. Am I being selfish by wanting a life of my own. What do I do? Where do I go from here?

Your question hits very close to home and instead of telling you what you need to do I'd like to tell you what I did. My husband and I have a daughter together he raised my son. There was moments I was miserable but lately everything seemed perfect other than he was sleeping on the couch son I started sleeping on the other couch to be near him. We talked but not enough. He was controlling I found out he abused my son. I worked he didnt. I didn't make much money. He walked out a year ago today actually just left took all money the only car my drivers licenses he thought he took enough that id be stranded I was terrified I cried I had to take my kids to work with me. That's evening I finally called failed ended up moving a long ways away and starting over and trust me every day is still a challenge and for the most part I am happy. I work full time family helps with kids but state would pay for child care. I still don't have a vehicle but I'm working on it. You can do it abuse is not just physical abuse. It's emotional and finial as well. There are shelters phone numbers you can call there is a ton of support for single mothers. Remember if your not happy your kids aren't happy.

Q: i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance.

It's her life. Someone else's life shouldn't bother you that much. What does it matter what she did in her past as long as she wasn't cheating on you. At least she was honest with you.

Q: this is odd but i need someone who knows a little something about when it comes to hiring plumbers.

I rent a two bed, two bath place and we continually have plumbing issues. we have the standard low flush/low consumption toilets which clog ALL THE TIME, even to the point to where even a standard plunger cannot unclog it. Well ive had a leaking tub faucet for the past month and called my management company to fix the leaking THAT, but also asked to have the plumber check out one of my toilets as well (just a quick look to make sure theres nothing legitimately wrong with that toilet ) my question is, it is normal or fair for the property management to charge ME for the plumber to come out to fix the faucet?

last time i called to have management send a plumber to unclog my toilet, (cause my son flushed the toilet paper spinner down it) i got charge 400 bucks! just for that! and he did the same thing i just asked this guy to do. i soooo dont wanna get charged 400 bucks because i also asked him to check out my toilet while he was here fixing the leaky faucet. = / i cant afford that.

can they do that?? i know that theres certain things that THEY have to cover, but idk if they can try to pin the toilet thing on me, there was nothing wrong with the toilet, he said he would let them know that. The toilet just has a small throat and clogs easier then the better toilets.

You would have to read threw the renting contract you signed to see who is responsible. Normally no that is their job to pay for that. I don't from someone who doesn't do repairs because I'm renting because I don't want to own my home I don't want to have to worry about the fridge being broke etc I call my land lord tell him what's wrong he fixes it you could possibly take the management to civil court to pay you back for what you had to pay I would send the bill with my rent money to the management.

Q: i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally.

I think therapy could help you make your decision with someone who is very well educated in this topic. It is a very huge decision and life changing thing to go threw. I am sure you have thought a lot about this but if you want to have children of your own the natural way than having the operation shouldn't be an option not right now maybe after you have a child.

Q: Is it possible to get a rental car with 100$ in NYC?

I guess anything is possible but I highly doubt it. You have to have full coverage insurance. Then you have to pay a deposit and rental fee and then for the miles you use. After wards you have to refill with gas. Make sure car us clean.

Q: My friend found a baby kitten at her work and I ended up taking it because she couldn't. It looks about no more than 2 weeks. It can bearly hold its head up and shakes when it walks, its eyes are fully open and it fits in the palm of your hand. I have a bottle for it and it takes a few drinks then pushes away. How do you know how much to feed it? Do you know exactly how old it i? Do you know what I need to do for a kitten this young? Please help!!!

I do apologize I do not know much information on baby kittens. However you can try contacting your local vet and they can answer a lot of the questions you have. Good luck.

Q: I was seeing this guy mostly on and sometime off for about 7 months. At first he seemed like the perfect boyfriend, but then his ex interrupted our picture. The thing is, he has a daughter with her, who is adorable I may add. His daughter is going to be 3 this year and they basically are in a custody battle over her because the Mom would rather party then raise her daughter and though he works full time, he says if he got custody he would make it work so he's with his daughter even more than he is now (everyday after work). He's a great father at 27, his ex is 19 right now and I'm 22. See, the only trouble is that when he sees his ex, his attitude completely changes for the negative... but he doesn't realize it, which caused little disagreements between us and now we've stopped talking because I know I can't fix whatever is going on between his ex and him. I'm not saying I've tried to fix their situation as that is purely between them and I can only be supportive, but he never wants to talk about it.. he'd rather be bitter. So now we are in limbo with eachother and I found out I'm pregnant. I have never believed in abortions, so I am keeping it. He once told me if I got pregnant he would support us 101% like his current daughter but now I'm not so sure and he may have deleted my number. I was thinking I might wait until I know I won't miscarry to tell him since I have some health issues. Part of me says he'll be excited to be a Dad again and the other part...

I wouldn\'t wait. I\'d just let him no hey I am pregnant it is yours I\'m not very far along right now but I thought you\'d want to know. Just if things don\'t work out between the two of you never stop letting him see his child I know in your mind your like ya I\'d never do that. It\'s not easy always I have two children and sometimes it\'d be do much easier just to cut them out they are so much drama good luck and congrats on the pregnancy

Q: Hi, I'm 19/F. I'm deeply in love with my boyfriend of almost 2 years now but our relationship has been kind of private due to my parents. They are not allowing me to start dating until I get at least a bachelors degree but I love my boyfriends so much. He wants me to tell my parents about us so do I but I'm scared that they'll get mad and start drama. His mother knows about us and I just want to be able to tell my parents about anything. What should I do?

Sweet heart you are 19 years old. If you love this man then tell them. I was married separated 4 months before I meet the love of my life it was rocky I wasn\'t sure I was ready to give it my all he waited and proved how much he loves me we have been together 6 months and I\'m taking him to meet my mother in 2 weeks. You can do it

Q: 26/f
This is a bit of a strange question I suppose.
I'm going into psychology. I intend to work with people. I'm very, very good at my job, which is involves social work. I got into the school I wanted, I raised a wonderful, sweet cat who's a fantastic companion, I'm happily single, headed toward my dream career, independent, etc...
But I never fit in. I don't connect with my age group at all. I look young for my age, but I feel like I'm closer to 40 than 30, and my body is falling apart inside - I'm a medical mess (crohn's disease, chronic pain, arthritis, history of anorexia, PTSD, depression, chronic insomnia, and formerly nightmare disorder). I have an affinity for classical music, I get piano sonatas stuck in my head and people I consider close friends laughed at me when I excitedly showed them a new book of arias I'm working on learning.
Even in my own friend group I'm not part of the group. I always feel like I'm observing from the outside, even when I make an attempt to be part of the crowd. It's not that these people exclude me at all. They make efforts to INCLUDE me, if anything.
I just don't feel like I fit in my own skin somehow.
I'm not really sure what my question is... does anyone have thoughts on this? Suggestions? Experiences?
Thanks to everyone who responds.

I am the same way ! How ever mine is confidence and same with what you have been diagnosed with. You can fix so much with walking daily or get into running. Huge confidence builder. Walk while listening to music. Writing makes me feel better making lists. Find something that interests you. Good luck.

Q: So there's this guy, let's say his name is Alex, and I really like him I just don't know if he likes me. We go to Karate together and he's always looking at me through the mirror and smiling. We text almost all the time and our conversations never die. But I just wanna know if he likes me. He's always calling me his little monkey and sending me monkey emojis, but he doesn't act like he likes me. What should I do? We only started texting a week ago but I've liked him forever. I don't wanna scare him away by telling him I like him.

It sounds to me like he likes you and you two are lowly building tour friendship. I would continue the way you are getting to know each other maybe ask if he\'d like to hang out , outside of karate. Good luck.

Q: My boyfriend is ready for sex and I'm really scared about loosing my virginity what should I do about this? And what does it feel like to loose your virginity?

If you are worried and nervous about it. Then your not ready. Losing your virginity is special and should be done with someone you love and you are comfortable with. It is painful and good.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.