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should I have told her the truth?
I am a 17 year old female and my cousin who is 42 years old says she noticed that I have been acting differently and wanted to know if I had sex with my boyfriend and I lied and told told her no but wh en in reality I did should I have toold her the truth
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It is not her business. Remember, always express your feelings unless you are trying to hide something.
Yours truly,
Miss Piggy
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I can understand why you lied. Her question most likely caught you off guard and unprepared to answer. Whether or not you are having sex is a very personal question especially at your age still living at home with your parents and still considered a minor regardless of the fact of whether or not you are above the age of consent. The age of consent and legal age of being considered an adult are two different things.
A person’s sex life is just that, "THEIR SEX LIFE." This cousin is an adult when she asked you that question is she the type of an adult you could confide in or would she have gone straight to your mom and reported you were now sexually active.
I believe that question is the one you had to react to on the fly and your answer was if I say yes she is going to go to mom and tell her. If this is the case you had every right to say what you did and no reason to correct your lie. If on the other hand she is a relative that you can confide in and wish to confide in so as to ask questions of, should you have any? Then yes you can go to her and correct your lie but only for that reason.
No one has any reason to know anything about another person’s sex life unless that person wants to share it. In fact until you reach 18, and have full medical confidentiality, you have a limited medical confidentiality under a federal law called HIPPA covering your reproductive system.
This law was crafted by congress so that young people 14 years of age and older would seek medical assistance when needed or get information concerning their reproductive system from doctors, without fear or their parents’ knowledge of them doing so. These visits to doctors having anything to do with their reproductive systems are totally confidential. Doctors cannot by law discuss these visits with anyone without your written consent to do so.
This also means mom cannot be in the exam room with you for any type of female exam. Mom cannot make a doctor’s appointment for a female examination or force you to have one. If you do have one at moms request the doctor cannot give a report to mom without your permission.
NOTE: The doctor cannot tell if you are a virgin or sexually active based on an examination only. Just that your Hyman is missing which is not a sign of loss of virginity or sexual activity. Also under this law you can ask for birth control medication and the doctors’ must prescribe it.
While I have provided more information then you requested; I did so as I felt you needed this information and it backs up my reasoning as to why I feel you did not do anything wrong in answering no to your cousin.
It is my feeling she had not right to ask you that question in the first place. Given the way the question was put to you had every right to answer the way you did.
Just for the record I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Others my age may feel differently. Being 17 and above the age of consent in most states. The only thing I can suggest is to take the proper precautions if you are to remain sexually active.
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You are the legal age to have sex so it would be better if you sit down and talk about it with her she nay be surprised at first but she should eventually come around xxx
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If you think you should have told her the truth, you still can. You might get better advice from her than you'll get here.
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It is really none of her business if you are having sex or not. It is your life. If you want to talk to her about it and think that it would be helpful to tell her then go for it. If you think it would cause problems, then I say keep it a secret.
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I wish I had more info before advising you! You mention that you are acting differently. Is this because you are worried about possible pregnancy or STD? Just giddy in love? Sex is a personal and private matter so whether you tell your cousin or not is entirely up to you. I am sure you already know about condoms and birth control but there is a lot of misinformation out there. If you are unsure of something or have any questions or concerns I would advise you to confide in a trusted adult.
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