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help plzz
Ok so i need advice so me and my gf been together for bout 3 years well on and off and we have a beautiful 2 year old son i love him to death well me and gf have talked about getting married and etc.. but i feel da same way but idk like we argue a hell of alot and she dont trust me and i dont trust her but its not really dat i recently talked to my ex that i dated in 2009 to 2011 and we was sooo in love but it was long distance so we never seen each other in person but we video chatted all da time so now that i got a good job and able to pay for da trip see her now and idk what to to be honest she was da only girl i ever trusted and she knew better den anybody and we had so much in common but now all i think about is what if i had seen her just once in person how wud it been like wen i talked to her tonight we both just lit up and just talked bout how we used to be and we broke up cause we was far away but i wanna know if i should go or not like i know if i tell my gf she just gonna get emotional but i just wanr this thought to be gone out my head please help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do not go see this other woman.
The best thing you can do for your child's future is to be there for his mother. Man up. You may not have been ready to start a family, but you have started one. Stop playing footsie with some girl you met online and go be a father to your child. And go buy your girlfriend some flowers while you are at it. It is time to grow up.
Miss Piggy
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You are right to question this. If you even remotely think you have feelings for your ex PLEASE do not marry your current girlfriend! Even though you have a child together it would be so unfair to everyone involved. Your first few sentences say it all as far as I'm concerned. You mention your son, that you love him to death, but you never mention loving your girlfriend. You also say that you don't trust each other and pardon me for saying so but I am not sure you CAN be trusted where your ex is concerned. I am pretty sure even if you haven't told her your gf has an idea that something isn't right! You need to take a little time for yourself and get your head on straight about what you really want. Trying to ignore your feelings for your ex will not make them go away! Even if it doesn't work out with your ex I don't think you and your current gf are anywhere near being ready for marriage. Please don't allow yourself to get pressured into something you are not ready for. A lot of people could end up getting hurt! Good luck!
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You have to realize that you can only have one.
If you love your girlfriend, I'd say try and fix it. You have a child with her, and you at least owe that to the kid.
There is couples counseling to help fix whatever problems with trust and arguing you have.
You also should realize that if you go on this trip to visit your ex, there isn't a chance with your current girlfriend. I doubt she'll wait around for you to visit your ex to see who you'd rather be with. No girl would.
So think through what you really want. You might just be missing your ex because your current situation isn't that great. So try fixing the problems, if it's not meant to be, then it's just not.
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You can't have it both ways.
Either you leave your current girlfriend, break up, and give it a shot with the ex, or you accept that your time with the ex is over, and be committed to your girlfriend. (or of course, you could choose to be with neither of them.)
There is no in-between where you get to have both. No sane woman is going to sit on her ass and wait for you to take a trip to see your ex, just to see if maybe you really want your ex instead of her. If you take this trip, your current relationship is over. You'll always be co-parents, but it's unlikely she'll ever forgive you or trust you again. I wouldn't. If a the father of my child left me for his ex, he would never get a another chance with me. All love and trust would be dead forever.
You know how you get thoughts gone? You stop thinking about it. There is no fucking magical trick. Make a choice and live with you choice! Don't be a dumbass or a floundering child. If you choice is to go visit your ex, then go do that in a honest and respectful way - break up with your current girlfriend first. You don't get to drag them both through drama just because you can't figure your shit out. If you really can't get your act together, then be alone.
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Life is full of "What if's" along with "should a," "could a" done. Fact is you and your present girlfriend have a child together. You owe it to your son to be a father to him. To help raise him to be a responsible young man and to teach him things only a father can.
That does not mean you must stay in the present relationship either, as from the sound of things, this is not good for him either. You do though need to stay near your son so you can remain in his life if you do decide to leave this relationship.
What you need to do before you make a decision to leave is to try and make this relationship work. What you need to do is find out why you two do not trust each other. This I believe is probably the cause of the arguments. Once you identify the why of it then you can work to correct the problem. There must be something there that keeps you two together and because of it you two have a beautiful son together. You need to find and rekindle what brought you two together in the first place.
The best way I know to do this is with couples counseling. In counseling you have a disinterest third party to bounce things off of. Who will tell you if who’s right or wrong and how you can go about fixing things.
Staying in a bad relationship for the sake of the child is not the right thing to do. The child will suffer if the parents do stay in a bad relationship. Trying to fix a bad relationship so that a child can benefit from a two parent home is the right thing to do before you make the decision to walk away. Of course trying to fix the relationship takes both parties desire to do so. If she is willing then my suggestion is you try.
So my answer to your question is not to tempt fate and not to give your present girlfriend any more reason to distrust you by going to see the old girlfriend. Do not go to see the old girlfriend. Stay home and try to fix what you have first.
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If you really love and care about your current gf, then try to make THAT relationship work first.. try to trust each other and express how you feel about getting married etc. As far as the EX goes.. she's an EX for a reason even though it was because it was long distance it wasnt meant to last, and I get it you have thoughts of what if's but look at it this way IF you and your EX was to work out like you say you would not have your 3 year old son, so i think it is not so good to dwell on the past however if you speak to your GF and tell her that you simply want to just meet this girl then go from there. DO NOT do anything behind your GF back that can possibly hurt your relationship. GOOD LUCK...with Kisses, KIERA xoxox
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