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humorist-workshop
My Girlfriend is abused
I started dating a girl in December, I'm not going to say all the normal love stuff, because, this was a normal relationship, we believed we were perfect for eachother, we loved eachother, ect. Her parents liked me, I went to church and all with them, they were Catholic I'm Baptist.
Well, she would always say how she's always hungry, she doesn't eat as much (later finding out they sometimes don't give her food for like a day or two), her parents call her names like slut, whore, bitch, just cause their mad or so, or they'd slap her, like, they slap her all the time when they don't get their way basically. Sometimes they whip them (her and her sister) with a belt I believe, but it never leaves bruises so she thinks it's "not illegal" because of that, but it burns and hurts her like hell. One time she said "my mother whipped me with a belt 15 times because I drew on the blinds"
Anyways on with the story, everything was normal, until the day before valentines day, her mom grounded her because we were 30 minutes late from the lake which was half a mile away. February 17th or 18th I forget, she got in a argument with her mom, as always the slapping, name calling, she was unhappy. We ran away in the middle of the night together, she said she was going to run away even if I didn't.
So, I protected her, we ran away, we were gone for 18 hours. When we came back, we went into the house and talked to the parents, well, the parents are HIGHLY manipulative and all so remember this later. The mother said how she doesn't even want my girlfriend there, if it wasn't for the dad she wouldn't be there, and responsibility this responsibility that, basically saying their all gonna die if she doesn't do things right, her mother is literally mentally unstable or something... The cop came obviously, the dad said I was a good kid he liked me and all, and we hugged when I left. Everything was normal.
The next day I went there, the mom was mad obviously, we hanged out for 2 or 3 weeks in a normal way. Then I had to goto another state for 3 weeks, I told them I was leaving, and I really was, but I had problems and went to the state over instead with my family for 5 days. Well, we snuck out when I got back because we knew we wouldn't be able to see eachother until the weekend, we always wanted to see eachother. This wasn't the first time we snuck out, and we've been caught 3 times before by her parents. They forgave us though each time.
This time, I lied to the mom sadly saying I was in Missouri. Acted like I was worried the next day ect, the sister had told the mom the truth I guess. The mother 2 days later (March 7th) filed a Protection Order, for no legit reason. Ill say the statements later. The P.O. was served to me March 9th
The dad, is like loyal to the wife because their catholic and all, not to bash the religion in any way. But he just is. I know he would never do this, he didn't file anything. Anyways I went to the house to reconcile with him and he just kept saying go, go, go bla bla no reason then just started saying I was too old. He knew I wasnt, he liked me, he was just doing this for the wife. Cops ended up coming I still refused to leave because I wanted to reconcile, then they tresspassed me.
Anyways, March 17th, I went to walmart, they were all there, the dad walked like "Hey (my name), I see you got a job!" What? "You're wearing your uniform!" Oh yeah "Well, bye!" he was all happy and everything.
After seeing me 3 more times he left with my gf to the car.
March 20th came, the P.O. court date, the statements on it were "Ran away, sneaking out to the lake several times, reporting bullying and saying everything will be okay" I reported her being bullied from people.. And they think thats bad? Hah. Well, the mom anyways. We told the judge about how their using me as a disclipinary tool, how they call her names and mental abuse, how I always just helped her. Not really detailing it but that's short for it, Judge said "Everything was in good intentions for her nothing was done wrong, all he did was help her." and set the P.O. for 3 months.
We got letters on March 24th and March 27th saying how they hurt her she doesn't wanna be there that they say their the "dictators" of the family and they slap her, call her bitch and slut, and that her Aunt threatened to kill me and has a plan and a gun in her car. And will do anything for her mom she doesn't care cause she loves her mom.
Sad.
April 3rd we violated it, she was being starved I heard so I was going to take her to McDonalds, cops caught us within 5 minutes because I "ran a stop sign", well I was on a slope. It was dark, so yeah.
April 9th, the mother chased me, followed me, I ran from her to my friends house and a cop started grabbing me for no reason when he came to investigate so I pushed him and got charged for assault and battery and a violation, went to jail for 6 days. I really did nothing wrong, this cop just started grabbing me then shoving me into the police car because I yelled my mothers number at my friend because he wouldnt let me call her, I KNEW the cops wouldn't call her thats why I tried. Cop wasnt listening to me say they were chasing me before all this, he detained me as soon as he saw me in my truck he said get out and I did then I was like am i being detained he was like yes. He cant do that without any further cause...
So yeah I was arrested. Went to jail for 6 days and now I'm under 24/7 supervision for awhile, we believe their going to give me probation in another state...
Well, we have around 3 open DHS cases on her, then 2 more from other people we believe. But DHS hasn't visited her since ending of March, its May now. And their all open cases.
Now here's where things get interesting, this just happened, and is why I'm looking for help.
2 days ago she showed up to my house, freezing, wet, covered in grass. It was a 4 mile walk to out here, through the lake woods and all. I was so sad I let her in, got her my sweats and got her warm, held her, she explained what happened how they hurt her and she doesn't wanna be there, she showed me a bruise which is the size of a french fry, my friend and her said it was bigger, it's 4 days old, still blood red.
Her mother ended up showing up, we called the cops, but she was saying she doesn't wanna be there they hurt her they hit her they call her names and just wanted help... A Sheriff came in, I was in the other room then because the PO, my mother was with them, my Gf had said all I've said how they hurt her and call her names she doesnt wanna be with them shes scared and unhappy and some stories on how they hurt before.
So sheriff took her to the police car and then talked to us then talked to her parents. There was another sheriff here then, they pulled out a letter. They talked for like 30 minutes. Now before we continue, this family is highly manipulative, believable, looks normal but when you leave their house their evil and hitting her. They've lie to the POLICE (not sheriff) to think were Sex Traffickers, idk if they believe it just because "were from Arizona" and my mother said it was okay if my Gf wanted to live with us, when she ran away, if it was okay with the parents. So because of that they lie about some stuff.
My gf said to the sheriff how when the police come her parents make them goto the room and their never really questioned or get to talk that the police and her parents just get along... So now theres gonna be more DHS and police involved I guess.
Anyways, sheriff sent her back with the mom, said theres going to be in-house DHS counciling, police, and all. It's devestating because my GF absoloutely doesnt want to be with them, they seriously hurt her. They wont let her go with her real mom the sheriff said "THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE" in a loud voice, because the mother lied to them we think.
The letter the mother showed them was a letter, in short, saying "I'm running away to see (my name)" which ruined everything I think. Because cops said she didn't run away because they hurt her, which is WHY she did run away, she told me, but yes, she came to me to tell me first, she wanted help they do hurt her.
What can we do?!
I've made about a 6 page letter to the dad since theres no Protection Order from him...
Were not doing this just so we can see eachother, that's part of the reason, but they really hurt her she wants out.
I have just turned 17 and she has just turned 15, at the end of April and beginning of May.
When she came here she said her mother had said "Now I see why (cousins name) mother let her boyfriend move in."
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
If you believe she's in danger, ask her to file a physical/mental harassment case against her parents.
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Honestly, I don't know your situation. I do know, however, that her running away and what not is a sign of febellion. Which isn't a bad thing. But do you KNOW she's telling you the truth. Because I've known teenagers to be sneaky, I've been one...not that long ago. However, if you truly believe, that she is in danger, and she is being completely honest with you, you need to call DHS. NOT the police. The police can't do anything about it. Call CPA or something. You tell them that you think she's being abused, and your story and that you want to help her. They should come out an do an inspection. It should happen a couple times, unannounced. I hope that helped.
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Hey, I'm here for you when ever you need to talk. I honestly wish I could help you out more but I can't, but what I can help you out is on giving you advice and I think what you have been doing for your girlfriend is the most amazing strong love because you protect her. You seem like a great guy too. the part I didn't quit understand was the part you said the police didn't do much about her. They should've left your girlfriend stay at a safer environment. I also think she should've mentioned how they don't feed her for so many days and have police give her a check up or find some sort of evidence against her parents abuse, but you said the parents lie a lot about who they are, so your girlfriend is going to have to fight hard on her freedom out of her parents home or she might have to wait until legal age to live on her own. I know you really want to help her, and sometimes things get tough. Keep in touch if you would like to talk:)
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My suggestions are:
One,Contact child protection services.
You said that she's an underage so the child protection service can (probably) do something about this. (Note: Don't let her parents find out about what you're doing)
Two, gather as much evidence as possible against her mother, like a record of her voice, take pictures of her bruises, anything that can be against her.
Since you've already gone to the police and they did nothing, it's pretty hopeless to try to make them to something, if you have any evidence against her Mom, I would suggest you to hand it to the child protection services so they can sue her parents.
That's all I can think of, hope I've helped.
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Wow...You've had a wild ride. Umm.. I've been in some what of a situation as you have but the police were involved as well. I THINK what you should do is talk to the police. If you have any text messages from your girlfriend saying that she said that she ran away because her parents were hurting her then show it too the police because you could get cleared thou. I believe you.. but like who do you think her parents are obviously going to believe... there daughter, or a random boyfriend of hers. About getting your girlfriend out of her house for good. You can always file a report of abuse to the police. To be honest my best advice to you would be to get EVIDENCE of her saying that the reason she wants to leave is because OF ABUSE!
If you don't say that, they won't listen too you and they won't leave you.
Hope everything works out..
If you ever need any help inbox me..]
Sincerely, Nobody :)
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This is a complex and disturbing story of what appears to certainly be an abusive relationship. It also involves someone who is a minor (though she may not act like or even consider herself a 'child' that is the case). I'm not surprised you don't quite know how to handle it. I'd imagine at least 50 percent or more of women twice your age and with twice the life experience would struggle to cope. The relevant (in your country, I'm from the UK but I'm assuming there's some equivalence) authorities and the police seem fully aware. And I assume there is a good sized file on the family. There's generally I believe, good attempts made at first to keep a family (even one as dysfunctional as this one appears to be)'together' as it were and to address the issues via education, liaison, counselling. Authorities are reluctant to dive in and take a child into care until other attempts at reonciliation have failed. It's a sound policy, but there can be tragic failiures. In that they may be waiting for 'something bad to happen' before they act, in effect. And the event is sometimes very bad indeed. I think from the tone of your letter that this is what YOU are fearing? That not enough is being done, and it won't be done until it's 'too late'. Unfortunately you cannot say to someone of 15 "Come and live with me". Even though this appears to be an ideal solution in this case, mostly it would NOT be a good idea and would leave the opportunity for many girls and guys under 18 to be horribly exploited and abused. I'm sure you can easily work out how sick-minded adults might abuse this scenario? Undoubtedly there is the situation dreaded by all social-workers here. "Child at risk". Can you satisfy yourself in some way that they are monitoring the situation? Is there someone you can contact and express your concerns to and arrange a meeting? Possibly you could detail specific events when she appeared emotionally very distressed, and/or physically abused...give dates? Get your observations, and concerns 'on the record' and get confirmation that you have submitted them. Not confirmed by an anonymous 'office' or 'department'...get the name of a PERSON. Somebody who will personally be accountable for it. Insisting on this is a good help...it means somebody is going to be held personally responsible if it's ignored and things go wrong. And they'll have a heap of explaining to do...possibly in court! In the UK there are telephone agencies which any child can ring and speak to someone if they are scared, believe themselves in danger, if their life-experiences just seem unusal or disturbing to them in any way. They operators are professional, trained and have far reaching powers they can call on pretty instantly if their 'alarm bells' go off at anything they hear. Is there an equivalent in the US? I feel sure there must be. Get her to call. Get something on the record, some 'paper trail' that might be helpful, even essentail. And of course, you'll want to be her 'go to' girl if or when things get to the point where she feels in danger. Maybe an arrangement that you or a friend gets on the scene as witness, or she comes to your/their house as soon as possible. Make a big noise and make a 'scene', report an emergency incident to the police...hammer on neighbours doors etc and worry about sorting it out later if you feel she's in danger. In short, you cannot handle this on your own, you have to hand it off to authorities, believe that they are following the official procedures and channels. But get involved in these processes as much as you can. When something dreadful does occur, there are inevitably cries of "We should have seen the signs" and "We should have acted sooner". and "She slipped through the safety net". And so on. Don't get too paranoid...but do everything you can to make sure your friend does NOT slip through the safety net. Best wishes. You're clearly worried. We can have a chat (via the inbox) if you like, anytime. CJB.
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Wow! That is a tough situation. There's always a legal approach, but sounds like that hasn't been working for ya. My advice is get solid evidence and then take it to Health and Human Services. Evidence from hidden cameras is what comes to mind. Or try to record a conversation. Human Services then has the power to step in and remove her from the home and place her in foster care. At least she'd be safe.
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Sounds like a pretty tough situation. I'll try to help some, but no matter how things go down, it sounds like things will probably get worse before they start to get better -
First, you really should make sure you know the law where you live. At 17 you can probably be tried as an adult if you break the law, and if you are in jail you can't help her at all.
You need to know what you can legally do to help - it may be that even being alone with her could get you in trouble, maybe even ending with you having to be on the sex offender's registry. At 15, she isn't old enough to legally consent to be with you in any state, and in many states all her parents need to prove is that you two were alone together, and they can press charges for molestation of a child. You don't want that on your record...
Also, you can help her by finding out what is legal for her to do. She may be legally able to leave home no matter what her parents say - it sounds like that's not the case from what you describe with the cops and the sheriff, but check anyway - sometimes law enforcement doesn't know the law as well as they think, and sometimes if YOU don't know the law, they just go with the easiest course of action (sending her home with her parents) even though she may be legally able to say No to going back.
That all depends on the state you're in.
Next I would get everything that's happened all sorted out and written down. There's a lot of information there, and some of it sounds difficult, or impossible, to prove, and some sounds as if it might be exagerrated. I'm not saying it is - but as a young person, if you want authority figures who can actually, legally help her get out of this situation, they are going to need to take you seriously, and they will need to believe you and her over her parents.
To make that happen, write down everything - and then start going through and pulling out those things you can prove, one way or another. Things you have actually SEEN or HEARD her mom do or say to her - things you can take pictures to prove - if there are any hospital or medical records - if someone else actually witnessed abuse - those are the things that are going to get someone's attention.
You aren't going to be able to get her out unless the authorities or the law are on her side - if the law says she cannot leave home legally, then they will simply keep taking her back. Until there is some kind of proof, or some way to convince the authorities she is in clear immediate danger, trying to get her out of there will only get you into some serious trouble. Even kidnapping is something they might charge you with.. it wouldn't be pretty.
I hear a lot about how you are trying to help her, but try to work within the system - get the information to the authorities. Don't get angry or aggresive with them, just be persistant. And keep on being persistant. If you bug them and bug them about how she is in danger and needs to be removed, eventually they will do something.
But be very, VERY sure about what you're doing, and make sure she is, too. I don't want to sound as if I don't believe this - that isn't the case - but if she is exaggerating about her parents refusing her food, hitting her, etc., and you follow this route, she may not just be allowed to move in with you - in fact, that is probably not going to happen at all unless/untill she is old enough to leave legally -
The authorities will remove her from her home and she'll be placed in the system - that means foster care. There is no telling where she may end up, it may be worse than what she is having to deal with now.
All of these are things that must be considered. But before all - please find out the law and make sure you don't go to jail for child molestation, kidnapping, etc. - you could end up with a permanent record, and some serious jail time. And make sure she knows what is going to happen - will foster care be preferable to where she is now? Foster families, for the most part, take good care of the kids - it's the rare exception to find one where the kids are abused - but it does happen.
So that's my advice - I know it's not what you would like to hear, but it's the only smart way to proceed. Make sure you know the law, and work within the law. Get all the facts straight, and then be persistant with them. If you stay calm and you have good, solid information with proof (if at all possible) - someone will listen to you, and then she will get help.
Be careful, and good luck!
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If your GF really is getting abused at home she needs some hard evidence that abuse is happening. Does she have a cell phone capable of audio recording? Could you possibly get her a small device to record on? If she can keep a recorder her pocket she can switch it on when her parents start abusing her. Then she can have some undeniable evidence to show the police.
The fact that she says they whip her with belts and has no bruises to show for it makes her story sound skeptical. I have seen an abuse victim after getting lashed with a belt and it's some of the worse bruising I've ever seen. The bruises were similar to giant blood blisters that look like lacerations. It sounds to me like your GF is stretching the truth when it comes to physical abuse. If this is the case you need to tell her to stop. It's making her loose credibility in the eyes of the police. If Mental and verbal abuse is happening, no one will believe her because it seems like she is lying about the physical abuse.
Tell your GF to get hard evidence of the abuse. Get a recorder and tell her to tape her parents calling her a slut and a bitch. Once she has hard evidence the police will take her story seriously.
I'm sorry your both going through this. I can tell you love your girlfriend and care for her very much. Be careful and learn your rights so you don't get arrested anymore. Once your 18 it can seriously damage your life! If I were you I would read up on the civil rights laws in your state. Learn your rights and in all your interactions with the police always stay calm and never break the law! Whatever you do, never loose your temper in front of them.
Good luck honey, I hope it works out.
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Look, I'm not an expert on law and I have never experienced this. I would suggest not seeing her for your own safety. This family is unstable and you can seriously get into a lot of trouble, like prison time, if you keep doing it. I know you love her and want to help her but you have to be smart about this. Putting yourself away won't help her at all. Go to your school, maybe try going to the police station and sitting down with an officer. Just talk about it and ask them if there is anything you or they can do. It is a really difficult and sad circumstance but do not ruin your life. I know the answer seems easy because we know what's right and wrong, but it's not when the law is involved. I'm not sure when the legal age is, but she might be able to leave by her will at 16 and then she can come live with you. Go to your school counsellor or teachers for advice if the police won't listen, they can help. And if you don't go to school, seek out a local counsellor
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Well several things can happen
1. I would say it is imperative to call child services and tell them of the mental abuse along with the physical. Mental abuse is in many cases worse than a physical trauma as shown with many veterans that have PTSD the mental trauma they cannot overcome as easily as saying learn9ing how to compensate with losing a limb.
2. Get a really GOOD LAWYER and get her to get and Emancipation letter from her parents because of the abusiveness.
3. You need to have your parents contact child services.
4. She is going to need a good psychologist to help her mentally heal.
5. DON'T GIVE UP KEEP TALKING UNTIL SOMEONE HEARS! And if people keep sweeping you under the rug I would alert a local news station they love that sort of stuff.
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Yikes! You've got yourself quite a situation here. Her mother clearly has aggression problems and with aggression comes hostility as well as lying and fabrication of the truth. What I suggest you do is go to child protection services considering she is 15 years old, I would advise you to take an adult with you as you would get the respect you deserve. Tell them everything you've told me and an investigation will be conducted, they will take it from there. Take pictures of any abrasions on your girlfriend's body or get her to possibly video record this kind of behavior. The most you can do at this point considering your age, is giving your girlfriend the moral support that she needs. Police are not going to believe you without proof, it is basically this girl's parents' word over yours, who would you believe? I admire your compassion to help your girlfriend. She needs to become more involved in this matter and you cannot voice her problems all the time. I hope these guidelines have given you a peace of mind. Please contact me if I can help in any other way. All the best
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Wow, that was long. OK. Let's break this step by step:
- There are a few things you both have to consider. Does she have any plans for the future? A job? Keep on studying? Because she has to start thinking about it. Why? Because if the situation is that impossible to escape she needs to break free. It sounds tough, I know, but if the police is really not going to help I see it as the only way.
- I don't know much about the law of your country because I'm Spanish, so I would like you to search every possible way of reporting this abuses (via other police stations, centers...ANYTHING) and everything that could be offered for her situation, I'm sorry I can't be of any help in that area.
I'm sorry, that's everything I can do for you. Please, keep posted, I really care.
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Short answer: get away from this girl and never see her again.
Longer answer: everything she has ever told you is a lie. "They are starving me!" Is she skinny? Bones poking out? No, I thought not. "They are whipping me with a belt!" But no bruises or marks. Amazing. Dude - I got whipped with a parental belt when I was a kid. Trust me, it leaves marks. They are not the size of a (McDonalds) french fry. "Oooh, my parents are so smooth and manipulating and belivable!" You poor sap.
"a cop started grabbing me for no reason when he came to investigate so I pushed him and got charged for assault and battery and a violation, went to jail for 6 days"
Jesus. You do not fight a cop. Ever.
Look man. *Even if this girl is telling the truth*, rescuing her will F your life up. Think about her life. Can you see her ever being a nice little wifey, cooking a wholesome dinner, raising her kids well?
Actually, that point bears repeating. DO YOU WANT THIS PERSON TO BE THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN? Hell: I wouldn't wish her on *any* kid, let alone one of my own.
And she's only 15. Christ. And you are 17. Do you mind if I shout at you for a bit? No? Cool.
*** GET THIS PERSON OUT OF YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU TURN 18. ***
The second the big hand and the little hand point at 12 on your next bday, stuff just got real. Assault a cop, and you won't just get six days. Abduct a CHILD from her PARENTS, and you won't just get a stern talking-to. Some states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws. If yours doesn't, YOU WILL GET A CRIMINAL RECORD AS A PAEDOPHILE FOR LIFE.
And she doesn't care, because she lives for drama. You are just a bit player in the movie she stars in, the one that's all about her.
You need to get serious, son, it's desperately important. Getting serious means cutting off *ALL CONTACT* with this lying psycho and her psycho family. There will be other p*ssy. This one will ruin you.
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I'm going to give it to you straight. This is an incredibly difficult situation, but priority number one is realizing it's not long until you're 18 and a lot of the things you've been doing will not be able to be explained away with "I wasn't doing anything wrong" because they'll be on your record forever and there's no room on a rap sheet for the story behind it. It's not enough to do right in this world, you've got to appear like you're doing right, too. This sounds superficial and meaningless because you have someone you love who is in pain, and I know you're trying to do the honorable thing by taking care of her, but appearances do matter and there are things the two of you are doing that are starting to appear shady enough that the cops are coming after you. By no means am I saying that cops are the best judge of character, but rather: you don't want to be in the position to be misjudged. That can f*ck up the rest of your life, no lie. Once you hit 18 and you violate a PO on your underage girlfriend, that's kidnapping and you could be looking at prison. Bring her a sandwich at school until this gets straightened out, don't take her to BK, ok?
With your girlfriend, it looks like her parents are not even close to perfect people, and I don't think religion has anything to do with it. There are impatient, rude, vulgar people of every faith and it's almost always a response (as unenlightened as it may be) to real obstacles. There is no excuse for abuse, and if that's truly the case, you are not the person to save her. Your girlfriend needs to go to a trusted authority, like a school counselor, and work on finding a safe living environment with stable adults caring for her.
I honestly don't feel convinced from your account that your girlfriend hasn't massaged the picture of less-than-graceful parental discipline to sound worse than it is. They are her parents and they almost assuredly really do have a genuine love for your girlfriend and are possibly legitimately upset by things she's doing, like lying to them repeatedly, and maybe other things that you don't know about. You've said her father seems like a nice and reasonable guy and that he supports his wife's discipline, that doesn't sound like criminal abuse to me. If you want to be there for her for the long run, helping her either get help from a competent authority if it's truly abuse, or helping her have a better relationship with her parents will be better for you both than any more running away or lying. I don't think that's the answer you wanted, but one day you'll be 30, and looking back on a serious criminal charge for your 15 year old girlfriend will be a much bigger regret than you realize.
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I am going to say some things you are probably not going to like or agree with but I am going to ask you to at least consider them. First of all you have to realize it is NOT your place to save this girl. You are only 17! This little girl is only 15 and you helped her to run away!I know you think you are helping but you are actually making things much worse for your girlfriend and yourself. You are literally destroying any hope for your future by choosing these illegal actions! I am sorry to be blunt but neither of you are mature enough to handle this type of situation on your own. If your girlfriend is being abused then she needs to get a respected adult on her side to help prove it, like a school counselor, a teacher or a clergyman. If you and she do not choose some other way to handle this situation soon I see it ending very badly, with you in jail and your girlfriend in a detention center! Here comes the second part you may not want to look at. Whether this girl is being abused or not she is NOT mature enough to care if she gets you in trouble! Frankly I think she is thriving on this drama and you are only too happy to play the part of the white knight riding in to the rescue. Someday when you are older you are really going to regret these decisions, although I know you don't believe it now. At 17 and 15 you are far too young to be trying to live anywhere together. You both need to finish school and prepare for your future. What if you are sitting somewhere 10 years from now with a criminal record, no education, no job, and no girl. Yes, it has happened even to the most "in love" couples once they get out there in the real world! If this girl tells you she is starved or has been beaten tell her to go to the school nurse or counselor and report it immediately. Once she sees you are not going to come running and try to whisk her away I think you will find her situation will suddenly improve!I think you are a great guy and very brave for wanting to help her but no matter how you look at this it isn't your battle. Do the right thing, do the mature thing, and tell her to report this through an adult. Good luck to you both!
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The law doesn't protect the abused. It protects whoever has money. Work hard at your job, save money, and get her out of there.
This will take time. But, don't worry. Her parents have her for now, but she will eventually be with you. The early bird gets the worm - which is what he deserves.
From moi to you,
Miss Piggy
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I find your story somewhat outrageous though this does not mean I don't believe you. From what I read I see you need, especially your girlfriend, and adult advocate who can not only advocate for her but as a matter of law must protect her.
The best person for this would be a trusted teacher or her school principal. As a matter of law if a child goes to one of them with a problem like hers they must protect her. Whipping a child with a belt even on the butt is child abuse not discipline. There is a very fine line between discipline and abuse and it has been crossed in what you are reporting here.
You say there are no bruises from these whippings. This is not quite true. There will be welts and possibly some bruising. If she is whipped on the butt she may be too embarrassed to show anyone the bruises but she has to in order to prove the abuse.
You are too young to be her advocate and being as young as you are the courts are going to put little stock in what you tell them. This is why she needs to tell a trusted adult such as a teacher or principal what her home life is like.
When she is next whipped with a belt she needs to tell this person. If as I belief she is whipped where the welts and bruises are not apparent, such as her butt. The school will call the police who will take her to a hospital where a doctor and nurse will document the abuse. This documentation will stand up in court and be hard for her mother to refute.
When it is child versus parent or children versus adults, lacking substantial evidence as you have written; it is unfortunate the courts have no choice but to rule for the parents.
I think it is admiral of you to try and protect her and you have done well in your attempt. Now if she will follow my advice and confide in a trusted teacher she will have the evidence she needs to prove she is an abused child.
If school is already out for the year before she can confide in a teacher or before she is whipped again. Then the next time her mother whips her, beats her and leaves welts or bruises that can be seen. She should call 911 for help and tell the 911 call taker what has happened to he. Her mother cannot turn away the fire department, police and paramedics until the paramedic has examined her and found her to be okay. If found otherwise she will be taken to the hospital both for a doctors examination and protection.
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