My name is Nour,I'm 16. I was born and raised in " The Big Apple" I moved to Kuwait recently. I started this column because i've been through a lot of shit lately... i have tried to commit suicide, trusted people who have ruined my life, and i am a disgrace to my family :) I chose my name to be nobody..cause i feel like a nobody, and it sucks a lot :)
so I am willing to answer any questions you have, cause people always say i have the best advice...DON'T WORRY I DON'T JUDGE! people have Judged me too much, but i don't give a shit :) so write and i will answer :)
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
Website: When Sparks FLY
E-mail: nourbizri98@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: America But live in Kuwait
Occupation: student
Age: 16
Member Since: November 10, 2013
Answers: 16
Last Update: May 31, 2014
Visitors: 2922
Main Categories:
Love Life
Work/School Relationships
Abusive Relationships
View All
|
| |
I am a girl,age 23. my father has died in 2009, my mom is alive but she never take care of me. i live with my elder sister,she has 3 kids. she always quarreled with me. if i don't do any household work, she got angry with me. i have boyfriend,who never let me cry,he love me so much.i didn't meet with him for last 3month because my sister never allowed me to meet with him. i stay my room whole day lonely.nobody of my family call me or ask me anything. my study is also hampering day by day. for my condition my boy friend also feeling very bad for me and his study also destroying day by day.i cant tolerate this anymore.it is seem to me that my death is the nice solution for all.my family will get rid of me and my boyfriend will get a better life.i have no way to live.what should i do beyond this?
(link)
|
You should be able to do and go wherever you want your 23. When your 18 your allowed to leave your house and your family. It's the law they can't say no. So to be honest I think you should confront your sister and if she is not cooperating then move on with your life
Sincerely nobody :)
|
I started dating a girl in December, I'm not going to say all the normal love stuff, because, this was a normal relationship, we believed we were perfect for eachother, we loved eachother, ect. Her parents liked me, I went to church and all with them, they were Catholic I'm Baptist.
Well, she would always say how she's always hungry, she doesn't eat as much (later finding out they sometimes don't give her food for like a day or two), her parents call her names like slut, whore, bitch, just cause their mad or so, or they'd slap her, like, they slap her all the time when they don't get their way basically. Sometimes they whip them (her and her sister) with a belt I believe, but it never leaves bruises so she thinks it's "not illegal" because of that, but it burns and hurts her like hell. One time she said "my mother whipped me with a belt 15 times because I drew on the blinds"
Anyways on with the story, everything was normal, until the day before valentines day, her mom grounded her because we were 30 minutes late from the lake which was half a mile away. February 17th or 18th I forget, she got in a argument with her mom, as always the slapping, name calling, she was unhappy. We ran away in the middle of the night together, she said she was going to run away even if I didn't.
So, I protected her, we ran away, we were gone for 18 hours. When we came back, we went into the house and talked to the parents, well, the parents are HIGHLY manipulative and all so remember this later. The mother said how she doesn't even want my girlfriend there, if it wasn't for the dad she wouldn't be there, and responsibility this responsibility that, basically saying their all gonna die if she doesn't do things right, her mother is literally mentally unstable or something... The cop came obviously, the dad said I was a good kid he liked me and all, and we hugged when I left. Everything was normal.
The next day I went there, the mom was mad obviously, we hanged out for 2 or 3 weeks in a normal way. Then I had to goto another state for 3 weeks, I told them I was leaving, and I really was, but I had problems and went to the state over instead with my family for 5 days. Well, we snuck out when I got back because we knew we wouldn't be able to see eachother until the weekend, we always wanted to see eachother. This wasn't the first time we snuck out, and we've been caught 3 times before by her parents. They forgave us though each time.
This time, I lied to the mom sadly saying I was in Missouri. Acted like I was worried the next day ect, the sister had told the mom the truth I guess. The mother 2 days later (March 7th) filed a Protection Order, for no legit reason. Ill say the statements later. The P.O. was served to me March 9th
The dad, is like loyal to the wife because their catholic and all, not to bash the religion in any way. But he just is. I know he would never do this, he didn't file anything. Anyways I went to the house to reconcile with him and he just kept saying go, go, go bla bla no reason then just started saying I was too old. He knew I wasnt, he liked me, he was just doing this for the wife. Cops ended up coming I still refused to leave because I wanted to reconcile, then they tresspassed me.
Anyways, March 17th, I went to walmart, they were all there, the dad walked like "Hey (my name), I see you got a job!" What? "You're wearing your uniform!" Oh yeah "Well, bye!" he was all happy and everything.
After seeing me 3 more times he left with my gf to the car.
March 20th came, the P.O. court date, the statements on it were "Ran away, sneaking out to the lake several times, reporting bullying and saying everything will be okay" I reported her being bullied from people.. And they think thats bad? Hah. Well, the mom anyways. We told the judge about how their using me as a disclipinary tool, how they call her names and mental abuse, how I always just helped her. Not really detailing it but that's short for it, Judge said "Everything was in good intentions for her nothing was done wrong, all he did was help her." and set the P.O. for 3 months.
We got letters on March 24th and March 27th saying how they hurt her she doesn't wanna be there that they say their the "dictators" of the family and they slap her, call her bitch and slut, and that her Aunt threatened to kill me and has a plan and a gun in her car. And will do anything for her mom she doesn't care cause she loves her mom.
Sad.
April 3rd we violated it, she was being starved I heard so I was going to take her to McDonalds, cops caught us within 5 minutes because I "ran a stop sign", well I was on a slope. It was dark, so yeah.
April 9th, the mother chased me, followed me, I ran from her to my friends house and a cop started grabbing me for no reason when he came to investigate so I pushed him and got charged for assault and battery and a violation, went to jail for 6 days. I really did nothing wrong, this cop just started grabbing me then shoving me into the police car because I yelled my mothers number at my friend because he wouldnt let me call her, I KNEW the cops wouldn't call her thats why I tried. Cop wasnt listening to me say they were chasing me before all this, he detained me as soon as he saw me in my truck he said get out and I did then I was like am i being detained he was like yes. He cant do that without any further cause...
So yeah I was arrested. Went to jail for 6 days and now I'm under 24/7 supervision for awhile, we believe their going to give me probation in another state...
Well, we have around 3 open DHS cases on her, then 2 more from other people we believe. But DHS hasn't visited her since ending of March, its May now. And their all open cases.
Now here's where things get interesting, this just happened, and is why I'm looking for help.
2 days ago she showed up to my house, freezing, wet, covered in grass. It was a 4 mile walk to out here, through the lake woods and all. I was so sad I let her in, got her my sweats and got her warm, held her, she explained what happened how they hurt her and she doesn't wanna be there, she showed me a bruise which is the size of a french fry, my friend and her said it was bigger, it's 4 days old, still blood red.
Her mother ended up showing up, we called the cops, but she was saying she doesn't wanna be there they hurt her they hit her they call her names and just wanted help... A Sheriff came in, I was in the other room then because the PO, my mother was with them, my Gf had said all I've said how they hurt her and call her names she doesnt wanna be with them shes scared and unhappy and some stories on how they hurt before.
So sheriff took her to the police car and then talked to us then talked to her parents. There was another sheriff here then, they pulled out a letter. They talked for like 30 minutes. Now before we continue, this family is highly manipulative, believable, looks normal but when you leave their house their evil and hitting her. They've lie to the POLICE (not sheriff) to think were Sex Traffickers, idk if they believe it just because "were from Arizona" and my mother said it was okay if my Gf wanted to live with us, when she ran away, if it was okay with the parents. So because of that they lie about some stuff.
My gf said to the sheriff how when the police come her parents make them goto the room and their never really questioned or get to talk that the police and her parents just get along... So now theres gonna be more DHS and police involved I guess.
Anyways, sheriff sent her back with the mom, said theres going to be in-house DHS counciling, police, and all. It's devestating because my GF absoloutely doesnt want to be with them, they seriously hurt her. They wont let her go with her real mom the sheriff said "THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE" in a loud voice, because the mother lied to them we think.
The letter the mother showed them was a letter, in short, saying "I'm running away to see (my name)" which ruined everything I think. Because cops said she didn't run away because they hurt her, which is WHY she did run away, she told me, but yes, she came to me to tell me first, she wanted help they do hurt her.
What can we do?!
I've made about a 6 page letter to the dad since theres no Protection Order from him...
Were not doing this just so we can see eachother, that's part of the reason, but they really hurt her she wants out.
I have just turned 17 and she has just turned 15, at the end of April and beginning of May.
When she came here she said her mother had said "Now I see why (cousins name) mother let her boyfriend move in." (link)
|
Wow...You've had a wild ride. Umm.. I've been in some what of a situation as you have but the police were involved as well. I THINK what you should do is talk to the police. If you have any text messages from your girlfriend saying that she said that she ran away because her parents were hurting her then show it too the police because you could get cleared thou. I believe you.. but like who do you think her parents are obviously going to believe... there daughter, or a random boyfriend of hers. About getting your girlfriend out of her house for good. You can always file a report of abuse to the police. To be honest my best advice to you would be to get EVIDENCE of her saying that the reason she wants to leave is because OF ABUSE!
If you don't say that, they won't listen too you and they won't leave you.
Hope everything works out..
If you ever need any help inbox me..]
Sincerely, Nobody :)
|
13,f
My 'friends' are really mean to me lately, patricularly two guys. Granted, one is my ex and I turned down the other, but they're both really very mean to me. They call me things such as sl-t, b-tch, and lesbian (obviously I'm not, I dated one of them, though I do have a pixie cut) every day, usually in my homeroom, where they both sit next to me. I try talking to my best friend (who is dating my ex) but she tells me its my fault. I tried talking to them today at our lunch table, and I called them mean, and they acted shocked and told me I'm the mean one, and everyone agreed (I almost started crying ), except for my best guy friend, who told them to shut up (love him). ...
The thing is, is that I /can/ be really mean. But I don't try to, really. I have bipolar disorder, and have struggled with depression since I was little, and anorexia at home and bulimia at school (I'm a mess). I think I'm pretty sometimes, though, so when they call me ugly I'm not too annoyed. It's just when they say I'm mean. I want to explain why and say that I'm sorry, but I obviously can't :( How do I deal with this? Because even though I hate them, I would die for them. (And yes, I do therapy, and blah blah blah, etcetera).
other info-
I'm NOT a sl-t, because I've never even held hands with a guy, let alone kiss one, and I havn't had a boyfriend for two years. The guy I kindof turned down tells me that I'm really desparate, but I never even speak to guys, I'm so insecure!!
Can you guys and gals and men and women please help me with this whole problem? (link)
|
Okay well obviously you need to check your choice in friens.. like seriously. but i also do have the same problems. I love my firends but they call me mean when i didnt do shit. There are 2 things you can really do here..
1) talk to each one alone. So they dont have to act cool infront of eachother. ( fake bitches)
2) take a break from them.. really cause then theyll be like wered she go and then come running back too you.
from my experience i chose the second one cause the first one wasnt working, and then they all came running back.
Also you shouldnt be a shamed of your bipolar disorder believe me everybody has it but they just dont realize it too..and when they call you a slut be like you know i would care if i care about you.. but i dont so there and then ust walk away cause there not worth your time.
and i bet your soo funny and preety that many other people would want to hang out with you ]
well goodluck.. if you need anymore advice im here.
|
I just told them about him today, and I've been dating him for several months. He's quite a bit older than me, but that's not the problem. He also lives very far away (he's come to visit me multiple times). My parents say it's the combination of the two, and they don't like what he does for a living - he doesn't make enough.
I'm 18 years old and just started college. I wanted to visit him over winter break, but my parents said that if I go, they're not paying for my tuition next quarter.
I'm not breaking up with him. What should I do? Do I have other options? Thanks (link)
| |
What I think you should do is intr
|
|
How do you know if he really isnt in love with you anymore (link)
|
If he dosent text you or call you first...if he dosent hang out with you. If he makes excuses to go and do other things. But really I think you should find out why he dosent have feeling towards you so you can understand how to fix it and learn from the future.
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
|
|
Is it wrong for a 16 year old and a nearly 24 year old to like eachother more than just friends? (link)
|
OFCOURSE it's not wrong but you just have to be aware he might have different intentions...espeacailly sexual intentions. Because your only 16 and you might not want to go there yet, you guys will be disagreeing on stuff and will probably be the result of ending the relationship. Or cause abuse against you but I think you should ask him what are his intentions because communication is really only he answer in this situation.
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
|
My mom saw my self-harm scars and told my dad.. Well he called me an attention-seeker. He doesn't know what I go through and why I do it and I don't want to tell him. What do I do?
P.S. Please don't tell me to get professional help or anything like that. Thanks (link)
|
please..counseling and rehab never work. BEEN THERE.. what you should do is instead of self harming yourself start talking to some one. like a vent friend. find someone that you can really trust and then just talk to them about what is going on and what you should do. Like when i use to cut my slef and smoke and shit cause i was sooo depressed..one of my friends would listen to me for hours just venting about my problems and after i had talked and talked i felt alot better. So try it. :)
Sincerely;
Nobody :)
|
|
I am a 20 year old girl. I have seen this guy 4 times. Two of them we were hanging out, once in a group, the other we went for coffee. We've only known one another for a short time, but I am quite sure I want to be his friend. But the trouble is, I seem to have quite a crush on him. I'm not sure what to do. He is popular and I am not. I don't want to be obvious about liking him. But I'm afraid to make a fool of myself around him. (link)
|
Just be yourself...but you should have put in your question how he acts around you and if he shows any signs of liking you or not :l and if he dose want to be your friend then it doesn't matter if hes popular ,cause if he cares about you then hell hang out with you. But as i said be yourself and start flirting and your not going to make yourself look like a fool because knowing guys they'll think its korky and really cute ;)
Sincerely;
Nobody :)
|
|
My sister says I have irrational fears. (4 phobias, and 13 fears) I would like to go to the school counsellor about them but I (unfortunately) am too scared. Like, I don't want to waste her time or interrupt her. What do counsellors talk to you about? What do they do to help you? Does anyone have answers to these questions? All advice appreciated. :) (link)
|
Honey, counselors are here to help you... and they don't care if you interrupt them because they WANT TO FIX YOUR OR YOUR SISTERS PROBLEMS! BUT i think that you should take your sister with you so you have proof and evidence and so the counselor can actually talk to her then you cause your not the one with the problem.
Sincerely;
Nobody :)
|
|
So i just transferred high schools and i am a girl who is a Sophomore this year and i went to my very first football game!I don't really get in much relationships because i usally worry more about my school. I was at my very first football game and my friend knew some older people that go to our school. one of her friends (which is a guy) knew the guy that i currently like. Me and him did playful eye contact in the halls then we started to talk over facebook for 4 weeks straight every day after school.He finally asked me for my number and we would text all the time and he would say goodmorning and goodnight he would always tell me how i was a good person and i was so beautiful all the time.We started to grow closer and closer i hung out with him and we kissed but after he sent a text "i want you" i took it the worng way of course and i didnt quiet like what he said because i do not want to have a sexual realtionship wtih him.The nest day at school he didnt talk to me much and ditched me to hang out with other girls which i mean its not that big of a deal but i felt like i was trying to be proved somthing. The he started to hug the girls and i started to hug and talk to more of my guy friends as did he. Then the text started to go away and we wouldent talk anymore he even wrote me a song. then we got in a disagreement about how i wasent sure if he liked me and i was so confussed because he sent me mixed signals. He told me that he liked me and that we should hang out more and that he missed me but then two days later he got a girlfriend but he still gives me the eye contact and when i look up he looks away and he just dosent look as happy as he usally does. He cant look me in the eye and he changed the wways he goes in the halls so he dosent have to see me. i dont understand what i did wrong and i don't know if he likes me still he acts like he likes me and i think he just expected me to be sad over it but i just dont know... (link)
| |
this happens to every girl in the world i promise you that..and the only thing you can do is confront them. The reason why he isnt talking to you though is probably because you took the "I want you" the wrong way. usually when guys say that they mean they want you as in as a "girlfriend". but dont worry because many girls take that the wrong way. And the fact is, if he STILL makes eye contact with you and wrote a SONG ABOUT YOU, he probably has you in the back of his mind and is dating the girl so you can get jealous. whats a better way to make a girl go crazy about you :P So my advice would be to really go up to him and talk to him about it because you guys wont be able to break the wall between you too( wall=problem) so you guys can understand how you guys feel. Hope everything truly works out
|
|
This all started 4 years ago when my father died. My parents had been married for 31 years. I was married at the time and the marriage was going south. It was an abusive relationship. When my mother moved in with me after my fathers death it was a good move. It gave me the stregnth to leave my now ex husband and my daughter and I were there to support her during her tough time. We leaned on eathother financially for a while. I got a better job and now am self sufficent. In the last few months things have gotten rocky. I have now found someone that I can see spending ther rest of my life with. We are taking things slow since we are both divorced. My mom started asking me "where are you going?, when will you be home? Are you going to eat?" then she started telling me how i could spend my money on my daughter. She thought since she paid about $250.00 in bills that she was entitled. Well, about a month and a half ago she decied to move and be near my brother and some of her friends. I was so happy. Finally my boyfriend and I could start working on us. Now she has decided to move back because she is not happy there either. She has a boyfriend here and she wants to hang out with him but not too much. I think she thinks its not ok because of my dad. We talked a few days ago and she said she didnt want to live with me and that she was going to move in with her BF. Last night she said she was moving back in with me!! Like the convo never happened. I dont want to hurt her but I doint want to live with her. I cant. She is too controlling. I am 35 and she is 68. She is in perfect health and so is her 74 yr old BF!! They both go to the gym everyday!! How can i tell her I dont want her to live with me without making her feel like no one wants her? (link)
|
Omg your mom is just like mine but mine is like 30 years younger :P But what you should tell her is what you literally said in your question. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that dad would have wanted you to move on and live your own life too the fullest. even if shes 68 :) tell her that you want to focus on your boyfriend and that you want to be happy together. and you guys live in the same state right? so she can come and visit you as much as she wants... so i think you should just talk it out and let it go where ever it want.
Sincerely;
Nobody :)
|
I've been talking to a guy I like a lot from another state. He's in Florida and I'm in Connecticut. We've been talking for 2 months now and a couple days ago he stops replying/won't answer any of the new texts I send. He only has an instagram, I have him added on there. He's liked and uploaded pictures since the 2 days have passed. Our ages are 19 and 26. I know that seems a little old for me but we have a lot in common and he's amazing! He does like me too and i know he isn't catfishing me. Don't worry. And we aren't together. Am I being too clingy or what?
I feel like I'm being a little clingy. I just thought he was different and perfect for me. We totally click when we're talking and it's amazing. He never said anything bad about me like i am too clingy/anything like that. And That night we weren't fighting at all. Any advice?
I am a female and the 19 year old to be clear. (link)
|
Okay..well at first i thought he was cat fishing you.. but he probably has been really busy and doesn't really have time to talk because he is 26 AND probably has a job. and i don't think your being too clingy because you want to talk to him theres nothing wrong with that. but the thing is just dont like text him 24/7 he probably needs space to think or something.. so i think you should just not text him back until he starts texting you again.. cause then you'll know if what you have is real or not..
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
|
|
Me and a really wonderful guy were talking. Just as friends because we relatively just met before that but I developed a little crush on him. It wasn't anything serious at the time but later as we continued to talk, we became closer. He was going through a bad break up at the time when we started getting closer. And I took advantage of the fact that I could really get close to him by helping him out and genuinely supporting him. I never told him I liked him because at the time I wasn't 100% convinced I did like him a lot. He used to message me daily and talk to me all the time. You see, I'm a type of person who likes to get to know someone first before declaring my feelings. And I'm not the most confident person in the world to boldly admit I like someone. I was hoping as we got closer and time progressed and he healed from his pain, that things would be good between us to the point that he too realized he had feelings for me. Next thing I know, he was talking to another girl. I think they were just talking but then they got closer. She out right told him that she liked him, and went a little crazy about it posting it that she was in love, etc. she's got a really annoying bubbly personality. (I'm not saying this because of how I feel. Other people have said the same.) anyway, I was so disappointed when I found out he liked her. Like what the hell did I even mean to you? I help u through all your problems and this is how it ends. The girl is a nice girl and I think she has a good heart. He says she understands him. I'm pretty sure he told me he was glad I understand him. He says he doesn't want a relationship now and that they're just talking and he's not in love with her but it still hurts. She seems like a confident person. Whereas I like to give hints and hope you take it. He told me he's really good at reading people, well clearly not so much. What sucks more is that I see him and the girl a lot and it just breaks my heart each time to think about it. I really liked him and now I'm just sad with regret. I don't want a relationship right now and I told him that (during a regular convo). He told me the same goes for him. But now this is the situation. I don't want to tell him because that will make life for all of us complicated. I want to get over him and move on.:( (link)
|
Well... All girls have to deal with broken hearts and sometimes it's hard. But what I think you should do and it works all the time by the way is just stop talking to him..so it just dies down and you get over him... And then you can start talking to him and he'll realize that wow.. She's pretty cool :) and then things will change :) and even though he doesn't want a relationship if you wait awhile maybe he'll change his mind!
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
|
|
How do you break up or, tell a guy you dont want to be thier gf without hurting them?? (link)
|
With breaks ups its hard not to break someones heart. but if you want to do it right so you guys are still friends then you have to .
1) say that you will always love him and that you will always have a specail place in your heart for him.
2)then say that youve been thinking that you guys need space because your messed up ( grades gone down or parents or on your period)
3) if he keeps arguing be like i need to think about me right now and then just say ill see you around or bye!
hope everything works out :)
Sincerly,
Nobody :)
|
So i asked a really close friend of mine out...lets call her V. V rejected me and it was kinda awkward for a week, about 2 weeks later everything was back to normal until we played truth or dare and someone told V to kiss me..so she did. During that week her 2 best-friends were telling me to ask her out again, and kept on saying "what if she likes you?". And finally yesterday there was a dance and she asked me if i could slowdance with her, i accepted and during the slowdance we were really close to each other, nose-to-nose. After the dance she thanked me... Do girls change their mind so easily?? What should i do??
(link)
|
Well this girl is obviously a good friend... the reason why is because she feels bad because she rejected you. Like FRIENDS can dance together and they can get really close. like i've made out with my best friends ( which are guys) a bunch of time and were still cool :P so its not that bad. but if you really want to know whats going on inn her mind.. i suppose you ask her, cause girls love a guy with confidence ;)
Sincerely,
Nobody :)
|
|
My mom married a much younger guy last year, and living with him has been awkward because he flirts with me when my mom's not around. Yesterday when my mom was at work I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with my little brother and sister, they were sitting on the floor. My step dad came and sat by me. He put his hands in between my thighs over my jeans and started touching my breasts. He did while my sister and brother were sitting on the floor with their backs to us and it was dark. When he did that I was scared . I told him to stop and he told me not to tell him to stop. My sister & brother were watching the loud movie, so they weren't paying attention to us on the couch. I tried pushing him away and moving. He kept on bothering me the whole time and I was scared to get up and when my mom got home I went in my room. I never feel comfortable around him. He'll put his hand on my waist, rub my stomach and get too close to me in front of my mom and it feels uncomfortable, and he's always saying "You're beautiful" My mom thinks he's playing around. And he looks at me with perverted eyes, all the time. i know my mom loves him so much and I know she wont believe me & she'll stay with him because he has money and we have nowhere else to go. She has stayed with him even though he beat her up before. (link)
|
okay.. this is nott good.
you need to call child services and you have to stay with your little sister all the time becauuse he might be doing it too her tooo, and she might not being seeing it now..but she will eventually. If your mom wont listen to you.. there is always filming what happens.. take your phone and place it on something and record the whole thing and show it too her. She will probably be heart broken but think about your sister and brother.. and even yourself.
Sincerly,
Nobody :)
|
|