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My dad called me an attention-seeker..
My mom saw my self-harm scars and told my dad.. Well he called me an attention-seeker. He doesn't know what I go through and why I do it and I don't want to tell him. What do I do?
P.S. Please don't tell me to get professional help or anything like that. Thanks
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please..counseling and rehab never work. BEEN THERE.. what you should do is instead of self harming yourself start talking to some one. like a vent friend. find someone that you can really trust and then just talk to them about what is going on and what you should do. Like when i use to cut my slef and smoke and shit cause i was sooo depressed..one of my friends would listen to me for hours just venting about my problems and after i had talked and talked i felt alot better. So try it. :)
Sincerely;
Nobody :)
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I'm sorry that your parents aren't very supportive. Sometimes, when a kid is self-harming, the parents get angry at them, tell them they're grounded, and say they're just trying to get attention. It doesn't help much when they do that.
When I first started cutting, my mom didn't exactly approach it the right way. She said I was just doing it because one of my friends was doing it, which wasn't true at all. But I was able to talk to her about it, and now she's very supportive. I was thinking that you could ask your mom if you could see a therapist. I mean, I know you don't want to get professional help, and I didn't want help either at first. But a therapist might be able to help you find better ways to cope with whatever you're going through and make your parents understand you more.
Sometimes, when you don't feel like you have anyone to talk to or anyone who will support you, calling a hotline is a good idea.
The self-harm hotline is 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288).
And if you want to talk to me, my email is athena4896@gmail.com.
I don't know if you have read this far or not. But I think you should try to find a few alternatives for self-harm. Here are some of the things I do when I have an urge to self-harm, and I think you should at least give them a try.
- Take a shower -- you can make it super cold or super hot, or just keep it at an average temperature if you just want it to be relaxing.
- Go running. Exercise is a great stress reliever, and the pain in your legs can distract you from the urge to cut.
- Try meditation, breathing exercises, or relaxing yoga poses. I meditate for a few minutes every day, which helps a lot. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and bring your focus to an inward subject. When I meditate, I usually focus on my breathing or on a calming image from nature, such as the sunset.
- Write in a journal or write poetry to express how you feel, if you're someone who is creative or enjoys writing.
- Call or text a friend. They can make you feel better or help you get your mind off of things by talking about something completely different.
- Do a hobby or another activity that is enjoyable and will help distract you. Try a puzzle that will challenge you and distract you from the pain you feel.
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist. The pain gives a sense of relief, and it leaves marks that look like scars, but they go away overnight.
- Drip some dark red paint on your wrist -- this helps if the sight of blood is important to you.
- Write out your anger on a piece of paper and rip it up.
- Holding an ice cube or rubbing it on your skin is helpful. You can dye it red if that helps.
- Try the butterfly project. Draw a butterfly on the place where you want to cut. Name it after someone you love, and let it fade naturally. If you cut before the butterfly fades away, it dies. But if you don't, you set it free.
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lightoftruth is right; you need professional help. You cut yourself because you want to feel something to relieve the pain or stress you are under. It is also a sign of depression.
Teenage depression is a real diagnoses. Something your grandparents or great grandparents would have said is just a phase teenagers go through and will grow out of. Some did others did not. Your father by saying you were just seeking attention was not all that far off the mark. Cutting is also a cry for help, he just doesn't understand, most likely because he suffered as you are and his parents felt it was just a phase.
Teenage depression is very treatable, easily diagnose. Teenage depression painless is diagnose and generally only needs short term treatment to help you get past what is truly bothering you and causing the pain and depression.
You have not said what it is that is causing you to cut. What I will tell you is that at 15 you are in the right age group to be suffering from teenage depression. Part of the problem is some overwhelming stress you are suffering from. It could be something at school or at home or a combination of things. You may or may not be fully aware of what is stressing you to this point. The other part is hormonal brought on in part by puberty.
Whatever the cause is the organic part, the hormonal cause is easily treatable by a doctor. The stress you are under needs to be treated in therapy with a psychologist. The psychologist is someone you can talk with in total confidentiality to get at the root cause of your stress and find a better way of dealing with it rather than cutting. Nothing you tell your therapist gets back to your parents. It has to be this way for you to be open and honest with the psychologist. When the psychologist does talk with your parents it is to support you and suggest ways they can help you between visits but not to tell them what was said or discussed by you or between you. This you must believe if the therapy sessions are to be fruitful.
Cutting is not only harmful it is dangerous. As a retired firefighter/first responder. I can tell you and must warn you that if you cut too deep or in the wrong place you can bleed out before help arrives. From the time you call 911 to the time the first help arrives is on average 4 minutes. You can bleed out in less than half that time. Then there is the scarring which will be with you for your entire life. Plastic surgery does not remove the scars it makes new ones that move the scars to places harder to see such as natural creases within your skin.
How do I know this. While I may be considerably older than you. I have been where you are and have the mental and physical scars to prove it. Therapy works if you work with the therapist and you will be much happier if you do. You do not have to suffer or cut.
You need professional help. If your parents will not get it for you. Then next time you feel like cutting pick up the phone and dial 911 instead. Tell the call taker you are cutting or feel like cutting yourself. Help will be sent to you. Another thing you can do is talk to a trusted teacher or a principal. Show them your scars. They have procedures to follow to see to it you get the help you need.
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But you NEED professional help. Seriously, it's not good to cut for whatever reasons you have.
You don't need to make your dad understand. He probably won't, my dad never did either. Lots of parents don't understand no matter what the reasons may be.
You need to stop hurting yourself. You can't stop on your own. You need to get real, serious help. Talk to your mom.
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...You're dad is a dick. (I said it.) Instead of trying to talk to you about it or trying to help you, he called you an attention seeker. I'm not even sure I want to know what other kinds of things he says to you. But cutting really is bad honestly, I get the whole needing to inflict that pain on yourself... it making you feel better but in the end it doesn't change anything. It's only a temporary fix for that moment. It just becomes a scar, a bad memory, a thing to remind you of those horrid thoughts you had at that moment. You may not want professional help but you should talk to somebody and since your mom seems to care, try talking with her first.
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