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Why on Earth is God keeping me alive?
My whole life, so far anyways, has been one, big, miserable hell. I'm going to be 19 in September and I don't feel like I can trust anybody. I've been told I'm pretty even beautiful, but I am not popular. Everybody makes fun of me, all throughout school they've made fun of me. My friends make fun of me, my family makes fun of me, and they do it in front of people who just met me which gives them a bad impression of me. I feel like everyone hates me because of some of the stuff they say. Everyone talks down to me when I say how I feel and I just hate it! Everyone seems to want to know how you feel and then when you tell them, they yell at you! I hate my life, and I hate being alive. No one would miss me if I was dead, so why does God keep me alive?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
well just ask god to help you get through all of this. and probably why god is keeping u alive is because your not like those people. (friends and family)
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Perfect website for you: Wix.com/shelbysworld/TEST
But other than that.. Life will get better if you seperate yourself from everyone that makes fun of you and make new friends and have a fun life. Just dont let people get to you. They're lame anyways. But you shouldn't think of hating life before you have acually lived one. :)
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There is no "God" so it isn't keeping you alive...
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Look, I know how you feel. It's not easy to let things like that go, but you need to. I'm your age and sometimes stuff like happens to me. You can't let things get to you like that. Don't take it personal okay? Don't talk down on yourself, your underestimating yourself. Your a strong young women who's growing up. I wouldn't take anyone serious when their teasing you. You gotta be strong and let it slid of you. If not, your going to be taken down each time, and it's going to be hard to get back up. Trust me, you have friends who love as well as family. Don't let yourself think you have no purpose because you do. Right now you may not know what it is, but in the end you'll find out. You'll find someone as well. Dig deep, and breathe. God is there for you, whether or not you believe or see it, he's there. Everything happens for a reason, you got to be patient, even take action if you need to. Take control and say it's NOT okay, that wasn't funny or STOP. You have to pick yourself up, don't depend on someone else because in the end, your the only one you CAN truely trust. Hope I helped and if you have anymore questions or need someone to talk to , msg me. Good luck and take care :]
-Lacey
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your alive because you have a purpose that he needs you for, remember that God loves you, despite what other people say, you are perfect in his eyes, he made you afterall. so istead of worrying about ohers opinions, know that you have a place reserved in heaven, and a Father who loves you. you just have to ask him,
hope this helps
miyuki-rini =^.^=
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Please trust me on this, I went through the same thing recently. My life so far has seemed pointless and it has sucked most of the way through.
I was thinking how you are not that long ago. Everything goes wrong and nobody seems to care, right? But believe me, whether you know it or not your family would miss you. They just don't seem to respect you. What you need to do is not just tell them how it makes you feel, but be assertive. Don't let them walk all over you, tell them that it is NOT okay. If that doesn't work and you still are being harassed, disrespected and talked down to, do the same thing back to them. Don't talk to them, talk AT them. After they realize how it feels they'll stop.
Even if your family is a bunch of losers that wouldn't miss you, there is always that one person that you don't even seem to see that loves you for who you are and just doesn't have the nerve to tell you. I've been in both positions before.
So if you are ever having suicidal thoughts, just think, "What am I REALLY leaving behind? What could happen with my life?" You could end up living a happy, successful life.
When it seemed to me like there was no point anymore, and that I was all alone, I joined a martial arts class. I was great, and within a year I was at brown belt. Next year I'll get black. So find something that you like and are good at, then join a class or club. You'll find people like you there, because you obviously have similar interests. These people would get to know you - possibly before they even MEET your family.
I found a purpose in life here, on this site. My purpose is to help others find theirs, and this site is just the beginning. Now you find yours, because you won't catch anything sitting still. You have to look for it.
Good luck, and have a good life.
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Is there anyone in you family (Mom, Dad, Aunt, Step-parent) that you can ask for help? It sounds to me like you need some counseling, but (depending on if you still live at home) you may need to have an adult in your family help you find one. You are young. You're trying to figure out what your place is in this world and why you are here. Its not uncommon to feel the way you feel right now, at your age. Its hard to communicate with others when you're not sure at all about yourself or what you're doing with your life. Your family may be insensitive, but I'm sure they do love you, and if they knew you were so miserable, SOMEBODY would reach out to you. Try to find a counselor/ therapist in you area. Believe me, it might sound weird, but it helps. Also, try to find some groups or clubs in your area that you might enjoy. Book clubs or volleyball or softball teams, chess, whatever you are interested in. This will help a lot because you'll be able to meet people you already have things in common with, and they will be new people, so they won't have any preconceived judgments about you, like your family would have. Its like starting with a clean slate. However, again, I strongly recommend counseling for your trust issues. You really need someone to talk to who's objective and won't judge you or your feelings. You're alive for a reason. Trust me, you would be missed if you were dead. Push those thoughts out of your head. They're lies to keep you from acheiving the amazing things that are ahead of you in your life.
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dont blame god and when you have ruff times walk away from it it makes it 5 times better but if its that big then you should stand up for yourself and put them in your shoes show them how it feels dnt feel down just cause one person denys you it matters what you think of your self
not any body else there the stars and your the moon your bigger than the stars so just face them
but be careful
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Wow, this is tough. I really feel for you.
My best friend felt like this the first 18 years of his life. Now he's married, and is happier than anyone I know.
It sounds like you should start from the ground up. That means learning to stay in touch with yourself and love yourself. I know this sounds a little corny, but everyone is beautiful and special in their own way, even you. You are responsible for figuring out what makes your beautiful and special, I'm sure when you get to it, it won't be that hard to come up with something. If you can love yourself, things will become a little easier.
You might want to consider seeing a doctor, depression can be caused my a chemical imbalance in your brain, and seeing a doctor could help you get things sorted out. It doesn't make you crazy, depression is WAY more common than most people think.
As for the last part of your question, God knows what he's doing. I'm not religious, but I believe in him, and I think he has a reason for making us all the way we are.
Go out and do some volunteer work, help someone load their groceries into their car, let someone go ahead of you in line, even the smallest things will help you start feeling a little bit better.
I know you can get through this, and I've never met you! We all have the strength inside of us, just get it out. And please don't hesitate to shoot me a message on here if you want.
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You need to find somebody to help you. see a doctor or therapist. i am not implying you are crazy so dont worry. other people have this problem. dont do anything stupid, just take it day by day one step at a time everyone has a purpose in life and yours has not been figured out yet. if you cant find anyone who will listen keep searching. look up a doctor or therapy locations in your phonebook. then call them and get some help. : )
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There must be a reason ... You are not alone someone in the world have the same or similar problem (eg.me).
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God is keeping you alive because He has a purpose for you. whether you know it or , this hardship right now is only going to make you stronger. never forget that God loves you and He is listening to you. The trick is to learn to talk to God he will solve your problems and before you know it everything will be just fine for you in life
there is someone out there who loves you even if they dont know you just yet soo stay alive i highly reccommend it anyway♥♥
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Oh boy, I've gone through what you're going through. It seemed that in middle school and part of high school, I was made fun of CONSTANTLY. Like, it never stopped, and it was always happening. My family, my friends, my "enemies", and even random people I barely knew.
Here's what I did: pray. Pray your heart out. God is listening, and He loves you. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but He does. If He didn't love you, do you think you would even be alive? I know you feel like He's torturing you by keeping you around, but the truth is that we all face struggles in our lives, because that's just part of life. It doesn't mean God hates your or loves you any less.
I wish I knew a passage from the Bible to give you to read that would help you, but I'm drawing a blank.
God bless you. You're in my prayers.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Alright, I am a firm believe in my Christianity and right now I feel God speaking to me telling me to help you. He always give us obstacles to face in life, that's a part of living. He however, gave you a bigger obstacle not because he doesn't love you or because he doesn't believe in you. He let this happen because He knows you can HANDLE it! People who make fun of you aren't worth your time, show them you are better than that and just walk away. You need to trust God and let him know that you love him because with all your faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, nothing can go wrong.
<>< God loves you with all of his heart!
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Your whole life is only miserable because your making it that way. People making fun of you? Really? God isnt making you care what they think of you. You do. Stop caring, if you dont like them what do they matter? If you told me your life was miserable because of things you couldnt stop like i dunno getting robbed of everything you had or getting diagnosed with a incurable disease thats going to kill you, then i would understand. You cant magically cure that disease but you can stop caring what other people have to say about you. Your 18 its about time to grow up and realize that kind of stuff doesn't matter.
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maybe gods keeping you alive because he knows that there is more for you in the future and if you look forward to it, and embrace everything then it makes you a stronger person so you can take the world without fail. of corse there will be the bad points, but everyone has a purpose and they need to be at the right point in life to find their true calling. so dont give up on life as there is so much to do. take risks and just try to enjoy being you instead of taking grief of everyone else. try doing something new until you find comfort in what youre doing.
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hey, know exactly how you feel. so many bad things have gone bad in my life and i'm 18. people at school make fun of me too because i have a lisp and i've been told by so many people that i'm pretty and beautiful and i just wonder if they are telling the truth because i just feel like no guys like me, but just don't think that you should die because your life is so bad. just pray to God, don't hate being alive because your life is precious. if people make fun of you, just don't listen to them because ther are all dumb, i've learned from this and people might make fun of you because they are jealous but don't worry i think that everything will turn out just fine.
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put ur faith in God, and u will see that God is there for you..im 19 and im going through relationship problems, nothing major but i still pray to God for him to control my emotions and make me a stonger person. I think that up to this day God has never left me, and is my only true friend. When you feel as theres noone left in this world, talk to God and watch him work a miracle in your life. He has you here because he puts trail and tribulations in our lives so that we can overcome them and put our turst in him. Later when all this pass by you'll be able to testify the wonders God has done in your life, and will be able to tell other people, who are going through this same problem, why God kept you alive. God is good, and will never leave you.
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You have a purpose, thats why. God loves you. I'm not a religious person, I'm an average teenager. I've been lucky to realize my faith at a low point in my life. I was depressed for months, and I didn't go on any medication. God healed me, and he can heal you. I believe EVERYONE is here for a reason. Think about it. You might not feel important, but your absense would cause a profound difference. It would change your family and friends lives, their decisions, their fates. You think our president would be the same without his kindergarten teacher? We all belong here for a reason, and we are all of equal importance. Don't let anyone make you feel down, or not as good as them, because you are just as good.
Stand up for yourself. Don't take rude comments, people making fun of you, being talked down upon. I don't mean throw a tantrum, but calmly tell them that you don't tolerate immature behavior, and that if they are going to be rude you don't need them in your life. I know a ton of people who are real jerks, and I made good, sincere friends. Nice people who understand you are out there, trust me. Maybe you need to make some new friends to feel better. Get out of your toxic environment and go where you will be appreciated.
Find a purpose. If you can find something you are passionate about and devote time to, you will feel so much better and more focused. I enjoy writing and helping others. You could help a charity cause. Also a huge thing: remember there are people who are way worse off than you are. Possibly seeing them and lending them a hand will help you.
If you want the people in your life to understand, why don't you try to write them a letter. You can gather your thoughts in an organized manner. Don't whine or complain, just write your feelings and how you wish you could fix things.
Giving up isn't an option. You have no where to go but up, things can only get better! Look at your oppurtunities and make the best of life. It won't always be like this, I promise.
If you need to talk, I am always here. If I can help someone get through a depression I would be tremendously happy.
God loves you,
Abby
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let me tell you what I believe..i'm not sure if you really religious..but i do hope this helps.
i believe we are all God's angels.
and we're all sent down here for a reason.
even if it's the simpilest task...like helping someone cross the street..or if it's the biggest thing, like curing cancer. and when your purpose that God has planned for you is done..your life ends..
you have a purpose in life. or many purposes. and you havent finished it/them yet. and God wants you on earth to serve that purpose.there isnt really a whole lot i can do about how you feel..and i do hope that your family and friends stop. and i do hope that you realize that life is a beautiful thing, and that you enjoy it.
i do hope i helped.
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I can not say I know exactly how you feel but I can tell you I went through that all my life at school and out. Being picked on, teased for wearing the same clothes day after day because my parents couldn't afford to buy me new clothes and keep food on the table. I contemplated suicide many times over it. Although I did have the support and love of my parents I spent most of my life dealing with it myself because it was me who had to deal with the pain and agony. I even got shoved in lockers at school because I was unpopular and I could fit in them. I never had a girlfriend in school and it took a long time for me to get my confidence back. You obviously believe in God because you asked why he keeps you here, God does everything for a reason if we can't see it at the time. He does love you and one day you will be where you belong and pain will no longer be apart of your life. You have a purpose in life and you will find it. I'm only 23 so I'm not that much older than you and I still sometimes struggle with why am I still here dealing with all this? I ever though it would get better but there is someone out there who loves you and cares about you and you will find that person who will love you through it all and no matter what happens. Sometimes you have to find your own way through the jungle before you find the exit. I'll pray for you and keep your head up. By the way I am getting married in October. So no matter what happens It CAN get better. Good luck
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I understand I'm only 13 n i unerstand but in my point of view everyone is alive for a reason so dont say tht.
I'll pray for you n please dont loose faith or trust in yourself
, Elaine
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This may sound Cliche, but I know exactly what you're going through because I have been there too.
For years I was sunken into a deep depression. It started at 9 years old, at start of my pre-teen years, and it's still going, but suppressed right now.
For many days, I sat there wondering why I was even alive. My mom was an alcoholic, now just drinks occasionally. She used to beat me, threaten me, and put me down. My dad used to put me down, and he's hit me before too.
The guys I dated were all jerks, and only wanted sex. I got into cybering, but that is all I was used for. I tried alcohol, and the pain got worse.
So at 17 years old, I finally decided to give up for good. I overdosed one morning off pills, and went to school. For awhile I was dizzy, but I wasn't getting real out of it like I was anticipating. That morning, my mom was drunk. So she made my situation worse. At lunch (every day), a bunch of kids would pick on me, and harass me. Call me names... everything. That day, I just said Fuck it.. and stormed out to the Psychologist's office in school. I told her my dad and what I did. I was taken to the hospital, to get checked, did tests and everything. I sat there for hours with my parents which I hated.
I can't get a job, not even one at McDonald's, and I have work experience. I have been to more than 30 interviews, and I got the same old call I am not good enough.
My boyfriend of two years treated me like, Shit! We were engaged but I wouldn't even call it a real engagement. All he did was abuse me, threaten me, control me, and overprotective me in so many negative ways. I couldn't do anything.. and if I wanted to do something I would have to get his permission. He's cheated on me, and lied to me. He even got high on pills when he swore he wouldn't do drugs. Never wanted to cuddle. All he wanted was sex. I felt depressed and worthless. I finally got out of it, and left him.
After all of this, I am still going strong. I finally met someone I truly love. My mom is improving her habit, my dad hasn't done anything for awhile, and my ex stopped trying to contact me. How did this all happen? I talked to them. I told them, I care about you, and I want the best for you. All I ask is you care for me in return (except for the ex of course.) Tell your family you need them. If they keep making fun of you, they're obviously not truly family. Same with friends. You need new friends. You honestly do.
I could never fit in with people. I was always an outsider. Goes back to Elementary when I used to tutor and hang with the mentally challenged kids. Yeah, I got made fun of for that. But I didn't care. I enjoyed what I was doing. I had no friends back then.. I was down about it, but I know things would change.
It took years and years for me to better myself. I use to question my existence. But now I know I am here for a reason just like everyone else. We're here to learn and teach, to make a difference, to teach good in troubled people, cheer people up when they're sad.
And no one hates you. Obviously us at Advicenators do not hate you one bit. We care for you, even though we don't know you personally. We're here for everyone on here.. and that is what I like about this site.
God is keeping you alive for a reason! If he wasn't, you wouldn't even be here in the first place. You were brought into this world for a reason. It's totally okay to not know what that reason is yet.. for some it takes years; and others a lifetime to know. I am 19, and I don't know what my purpose is. I am majoring in healthcare in college, and that is what I love. Maybe do the same route? Go to school for something that interests you.. something you know you could teach others in. Are you good at math? Go to college to become a math teacher. No one likes math anymore, but with people like that, they can make math fun, while learning at the same time.
If every little thing is going wrong, and you have no hope, I would say go start a new life. Meet new people. Do that for awhile to build yourself back up. It's never an overnight thing, so be willing to commit at getting better for the rest of your life.
Don't give up hope, because I didn't and I am glad I didn't. I know right now it doesn't seem that way at all, but it will, I promise. I can't guarantee you perfect life, but I can guarantee things will get better. Keep the faith, pary a little more to God, and do something you enjoy to keep you happy. If you don't know what you like to do, experiment a little Join a tennis team, a local chess team, a blood drive; whatever. Do what makes you happy.
You would be missed by us, if you left. I know we don't know you personally (as I know of), we still care about those who are connected to this site. Everyone is individually special.
Keep going strong.. it took me years to.. and I am still working on it, but now I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. If you give up now, you'll never get to see that; metaphorically speaking that is.
Keep the faith, and I will pray for you.
Leah
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heyyy!
this is really touching and i truly feel bad for you. i wish i was there physically to help you out. ofcourse its not fair when your the one getting the wrong end of the deal. the one thats being picked on. the one thats never been put first.i was once alone i couldnt talk to my friends about my problems because it was just way over their heads. i surrfered alot through my life and never actually got over what happened to me in the past but dont you think that your alive right now for a reason?there mayb another girl out there feeling just as alone as your are today waiting to find someone like you to help her the way that you wished to be helped. you say that you feel like everyone hates you but your wrong. i mean right now i dont hate you. you dont need to be popular to feel loved. if people make fun of you then theyr not nice people, theyr not someone you would call a friend if they hurt you. theres always going to be someone thats not going to like someone else i mean i have my enemies too we all do. ways to make you feel better is doing things that make you happy like singing, reading, going for a drive just anything that makes you smile. and the problem with your parents i really think you should talk to them tell them you really hate it and if they dont stop then you can only change yourself. just laugh it off and pretend you dont care. make yourself believe you dont care and you wont.if you ever need me just add me sia.d.sus@hotmail.com
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You are going to be 19.
There is a whole world at your feet to make your life, where you don't have to feel as though you are beneath others.
Move an hour away from where you are now, meet your own people, do your own thing, be your own person.
We are given life to make something of it, not sit around feeling self pity.
So what are you waiting for?
31/f
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I understand exactly how you feel.Unloved and alone right?And probaly misunderstood,right?Everyone feels that way some point in their life.But,if your freinds are making fun of you then they aren't a real friend at all and you shouldn't hang out with them.Meanwhile,your friends and family both are making fun of you.You shouldn't act like it bothers you at all.If you do they will do it more.On the other hand people would miss you if you were dead.I'm sure that your family would be upset if you was to die.Keep you head up and let those comments roll right off your back.If your going to make something of yourself one day you don't need to let little comments like that bother you.
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hey,
i just wrote this really great message to you, and then the page refreshed and I lost it all, here i go again. =]
I was in a similar situation when I was 18 (im 21 now)
i felt like my life was pointless and heres why.
I was raped, my younger sister died, my parents divorced, 5 close friends of mine died in High school, (all at different times) my grandmother died, (my last living grandparent. she raised me), Ive struggled with my weight my whole life after my rape, and kids teased me every year, my mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and my senior year she decided to leave her 2nd husband and could no longer afford to take care of me. At that point, I HAD TO MOVE OUT, not because I was ready, but because I had NO CHOICE, i had no relatives to move in with, so I was sure i was going out on the streets....
I guess you could say Ive had it rough...
At that point in my life, i wanted to die. life was too hard and I just didnt believe I could pull through in the end. it was pointless and I thought I was just God's toy. I wasnt even sure there was a God....
one day, I woke up on a friends couch, and I decided I was NOT going to let this happen. NOT TO ME.
so the day I graduated High School, I started my first job. there was no summer break for me. I have been working every day since.
Today, I am 21 yrs old, I bought myself a brand new car, I have my own apartment, i pay over 20 bills every month including cell phone, insurance, gas, rent, you get the idea.
all on my own.
NOW i realize that by making me go through all of those things, God was preparing me for my life. He was making me understand that the world is never fair, but you can turn BAD things into GOOD things with the right attitude!
If I had an easy childhood, I would still be sitting at home with mommy and daddy taking care of me and not knowing what the real world is like, just like most of the people my age are doing right now. All my friends are envious that I have my own place and do what I want. I have to remind them of all the bad things Ive gone through just to get where I am...but in the end, i am the most successful person in my large group of friends....and i am the YOUNGEST. =]
The reason I told you my life story is because I think young teens/adults like you can learn alot from me. It can be motivation, to keep your chin up, and dont get depressed.
God works in amazing ways. dont ever doubt him.
If people are constantly teasing you, tell them you dont care anymore. most people prey on other peoples self esteem because they like the reaction you give them.
So next time someone says something bad about you, act like you dont care. dont yell, or get defensive, be indifferent. Honestly sweetie, if they dont take the hint, then they arent the kind of people you need to be around anyway. Screw them. You will find some people who understand you and like you for who you are. I promise things will be hard at first, but I also promise that the mental strength you will gain from this will be VERY worth it in the end.
if you ever want to talk or want some 1 on 1 advice, ive experiencced alot and can help with almost anything. feel free to email me anytime, 24/7. im here for ya =]
stephanie.ellick@gmail.com
steph 21/houston
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You know, you're feeling the pain of it all right now, but later you'll be glad that most of it happened because you are going to turn into a strong adult. You're going to be wise, and you're going to know how people really feel. Everyone has to go through bad things, but how they let them affect them is their decision. No one can change the way you feel except you. If you're tired of how they treat you, don't put up with it. You must be doing something to give them the impression that it's okay to talk down on you. You've got to change this. Ignore what they say, get some hobbies, and have fun with your life. No one messes with a happy person.
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People, no matter who they are, tend to pick on people who don't defend themselves. Stand up with one strong defense and watch them back down. Don't get wild and crazed, but put them in their place.
My younger sister is like that. Anyone can say anything to her and she doesn't defend herself. One day my older sister started up with her and, I guess she had just about all she could take. She let her have it in no uncertain terms and it shut my older sister up and she never did pick on her again. This was 10 years ago.
You can't sit by while people insult and offend you. The least you should do is say, "Don't speak to me that way. I would never speak to you that way, don't do it to me." Be very firm, without yelling. Voice your displeasure and don't apologize for it!
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Honey, listen to me. People have made fun of me for years, made up lies about me, made me look bad in front of other people as well, and had a misconception of who I was as a person. I'm not making this up.
But I kept on going and not being put down. Why? Because I knew I wasn't what people were thinking of me or saying about me. I knew that if I let those people get to me, then I would be brought down and trodden all over as if I were dirt. But I kept my head high and whenever I heard somebody say something bad about me, I would pity them because they don't really know who I am inside and that is what you've got to remember. What people say doesn't reflect who you are, that's your decision to make. If you let what they say influence you, then of course you won't be happy.
When they talk down to you, talk right back, defend what you feel. It isn't a sin to say it and when they yell at you, say "Well, you did ask. If it wasn't what you wanted, then I'm sorry but that's how I feel so live with it". When they make you look bad in front of other people, make an effort to get to know that person and give them a second impression because that way, they get to know you better. When it comes to family, you have every right to say "stop", same with friends as well because they should know how to treat you right.
A few years ago, I had trust issues as well. But I overcame that by getting to know the people around me better and I came to trust them more. And all I had to do was talk. It didn't matter what I wore, looked etc. All I had to do was open up to them and I found a different world where they (to some level at least : ) ) accepted me for who I was and I changed the way most people saw me.
God is keeping you alive so that you can make those changes for you, not for anybody else. If your not happy, then you should try and find ways to changed that unhappiness into something better.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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you were put here for a reason.
maybe the reason was to help other people who feel this way to keep livin, and keep working towards their dreams.
these people may not mean it to hurt your feelings.
confront them!
and believe me, many people would miss you.
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God? Why does God still have you alive. It's not a ridiculose question. Alot of people ask that question everyday. I'd say that if you believe it is god that still has you alive on this earth, that you have a meaning to be alive... You just haven't gotten there yet. Give it sometime. You're only 18/19. You'll find your way.. My friend say though if you need someone to talk to his Myspace is myspace.com/suffeering_soul
He says he's going through the same problems you are. o.o
But anyways, maybe it's time for you to get your own life, move out of your parents house, and never let what other people think about you effect you, if they can't take the time to get to know you themselves, fuck them!
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yep, Know that feeling. people will always do shit like that, its just normal. you just have to grow a thick skin and deal with it. I had to do the same thing, it sucks, but its do-able. I've asked the same question; there's no sense in shit, but I've noticed that shit happens for a reason. My buddies would get killed, and it eventually saved lives months down the road. took me a while to find the point to my continued existence, but now I know what I'm still alive to do; its still bitter, don't get me wrong, but somebody wants me around to go back with my friends to afghanistan. I may not come home, but by damn I'm going to keep fighting and make a difference until they put me in a shallow grave on some forgotten battlefield in a godforsaken land. If it does happen, my buddies will make it home to their kids. so its more than worth it. People who kill themselves are fucking cowards. bottom line. Those people, no matter how much they're assholes, care about you. My first sergeant said a few months ago "you fuckers know how I feel about people who kill themselves, they hurt the fuck out of their families and friends; so If you're going to do it, just give me the common courtesy, and lay down a fucking tarp to contain the bloody fucking mess you'll make when you do."
life will get better, kid. just push your way through the low points and you'll do fine.
-gunner
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I've felt like this before. This used to happen a lot in middle school too.. even sometimes now, in high school. Everyone will always tell me, "oh your so pretty, you have such different style, your different looking." it sounds kind of better, typing it, but if you see their face and stuff, it doesn't feel like its always a compliment, like i'm pretty but i'm weird, or something. my mom talks down to me a lottttt. she says, she only critiques so much because she wants me to be 'perfect.' but that doesn't ever make me feel good about myself. like any little part of me, she has to critique i hate it! & sometimes it makes me hate myself. i feel like i know kind of how you feel. I have a very hard time opening up about my feelings, i don't like sharing them with anyone, not family or friends. it makes me feel awkward, & i don't like it. i then tell my mom how i feel about something, & she just looks at me weird, & shes even called me weird before. so i know what you're talking about in most ways.
how i cope with it: when my mom tells me that she thinks i'm weird or critiques me, i tell her how much its hurting my feelings. i just recently started doing this.. & i mean, just maybe try to tell your family/friends/whoever that you don't like it when they say mean/rude things to you & it really hurts your feelings & make your feel bad. if they keep doing mean things to you, after you told them.. you either need to stop being friends with them.. & with your family, well, i'm sure they'll listen, it may take a few reminders, because they may just be use to putting you down, but if they don't stop after a little while.. you need to leave or something.
just remember, that even though things have been bad, or are bad now, doesn't mean they always will be. maybe your just around some really shitty people. try to go meet new more positive people.. your only 19, you've got a long life a head of you. & when you feel bad, maybe try writing it down in like a journal or something, that's what i do, & it helps me.
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God obviously has big plans for you if you're still here...don't give up. Have you ever tried talking to Him? Maybe you should...just tell Him how you feel...faith can move mountains, it can definitely help you. The people who answered before me are right; God has a plan for you. Someone told me once that the harder you have it and the longer you have to wait...the bigger the plan!
I agree that it isn't cool that your family, friends and others bring you down. Are any of them believers in God? If they are, explain to them that they really aren't representing what He's all about by treating you the way that they do. If that's too defensive or they aren't believers...just tell them what you told us, that you feel that they may be concerned when they ask about your feelings but then you feel that they don't want to hear it. It's not okay for people to treat you like that.
Also,I think you should find someone you can talk to about this...and someone who knows God personally; a lot of people do and they would love to minister to you and explain the plans that He has for you. ("For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11.) Talking to a pastor or someone at a local church can help you regain some confidence, learn about God's plans, and get plugged in to a community that is not known to judge or tease or gossip. It's a family, one that possibly will make you feel accepted (though it's one not known to dwell on who's popular, but rather enjoy friendship and fellowship) and one that will show you how beautiful you are (on the outside, and the inside, which feels so much better). It's a good family to have. :)
And if you need anyone to talk to about God, my personal e-mail is nellybly22@gmail.com. E-mail me sometime and tell me how you're feeling, and if I don't hear from you...rest assured that if you were dead, God and I would miss you. Talk to Him about that...
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Everyone is put on this earth for a reason and sometimes we do not know what that reason is. The truth is when you are in High School people are immature and sometimes people just need someone to pick on to make themselves feel better about themself and even after high school going into college not everyone is 100% mature. My family tends to do the same thing to me too they say mean things or even embarrassing things around other people that really do not know me that well. You might want to sit down with them and tell them sternly that you do not apprechiate it and you would like it to stop and tell them why. Communication is the key, I do not know you...but maybe you need to stand up to people and let them know how you feel. Talking to your family is the key to working things out with them, Have a meeting with mom and dad and tell them that you want no interuptions. They are your family and they should listen to you.
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Someone would miss you if you were dead. If nothing else they'd miss ridiculing you. I had this guy that I hated kill himself. I miss him. I never wanted him dead. So this whole death kick you're on is stupid. You never know who it's going to effect.
That said, I went through this stuff in high school. You can't blame God for it. He didn't do it. You need to stand up for yourself. Scream in their faces if that's what it takes for them to listen to you about it. I had to do it to my mom and my friends more than once. Once I got the message across that I wasn't going to take it anymore (and make enough social situations uncomfortable to to put in a 13 year sitcom) they took me seriously.
The point is, you need to stand up for yourself. No one else is going to do it.
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because god has plans for you in life and its not your time to go yet. you need to be more posivite. maybe you should talk to someone if you feel like this, sweety. i think you have a lot of good ahead of you in life.
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