Member Since: July 26, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 26, 2009
Visitors: 340
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My whole life, so far anyways, has been one, big, miserable hell. I'm going to be 19 in September and I don't feel like I can trust anybody. I've been told I'm pretty even beautiful, but I am not popular. Everybody makes fun of me, all throughout school they've made fun of me. My friends make fun of me, my family makes fun of me, and they do it in front of people who just met me which gives them a bad impression of me. I feel like everyone hates me because of some of the stuff they say. Everyone talks down to me when I say how I feel and I just hate it! Everyone seems to want to know how you feel and then when you tell them, they yell at you! I hate my life, and I hate being alive. No one would miss me if I was dead, so why does God keep me alive? (link)
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I can not say I know exactly how you feel but I can tell you I went through that all my life at school and out. Being picked on, teased for wearing the same clothes day after day because my parents couldn't afford to buy me new clothes and keep food on the table. I contemplated suicide many times over it. Although I did have the support and love of my parents I spent most of my life dealing with it myself because it was me who had to deal with the pain and agony. I even got shoved in lockers at school because I was unpopular and I could fit in them. I never had a girlfriend in school and it took a long time for me to get my confidence back. You obviously believe in God because you asked why he keeps you here, God does everything for a reason if we can't see it at the time. He does love you and one day you will be where you belong and pain will no longer be apart of your life. You have a purpose in life and you will find it. I'm only 23 so I'm not that much older than you and I still sometimes struggle with why am I still here dealing with all this? I ever though it would get better but there is someone out there who loves you and cares about you and you will find that person who will love you through it all and no matter what happens. Sometimes you have to find your own way through the jungle before you find the exit. I'll pray for you and keep your head up. By the way I am getting married in October. So no matter what happens It CAN get better. Good luck
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