Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140810Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Today is my 23rd birthday and he didn't even get me anything. I don't even want much just something to feel special but no. We have a long distance relationship and I had a party Saturday that he wasn't able to come to because he couldn't afford the 500$ ticket but he was able to go out that night and spend over 100$ on drinks. He told me he feels like an awful boyfriend but then today on my birthday he tells me he's going to the casino on Thursday... So I'm guessing he doesn't feel that awful. On his birthday I made a huge deal I sent him a care package, visited him, and bought dinner and some other things for dessert. But he can't even send a card or anything. Am I just over thinking this and being a brat? Or is it time to rethink my involvement in this one sided relationship
No you are not over thing this. This is the problem with long distance relationships. You're not there so you're out of sight and easily put out of mind. In long distance romances it is easy for one or both parties to become lonely and look for companionship. That companionship turns into a relationship which turns into a romance. It was never meant to happen but it does. GI's face it all the time and this is why they receive "Dear John letters."
He realized it was your birthday and did nothing. He is either selfish, self centered or does not have the interest in this relationship that you have. My suggestion is you rethink this relationship as this may be his way of getting you to agree to end it for he may have found someone close to home to play with. I could be wrong but I also could be right.
What's the least painful way to commit suicide?
If I'm gonna do it is not a question. I don't want to waste my time reading more speaches about not doing it.
I just need someone to tell me. Now.
As a retired first responder with a fire department rescue squad. I can tell you there is no painless way to die. Judging from the expressions on the faces of the successful suicides the end is always painful.
Its obvious from your question though you are in pain and want to end the pain you're in. IF you want to live and end the pain you're in that we can help you with. We will not help you die that is not what we do here.
I have yet to hear of any problem so dire that there is not a solution for. There are people like us willing to help you if you are willing to tell us your problem and willing to let us help you. If you give those of us willing to help you an inch we will go a mile for you in trying to rectify what is causing you so much pain.
There is the National Suicide prevention center hotline available 24/7: 1-800-273-8255. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you'll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
You can also use this website to locate a crisis cent near you: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/getinvolved/locator.aspx
Anything you say to these people is strictly confidential.
So i am 15 Years old, and people in my year have started becoming more sexual. There is a guy i know and like who wants to do more than kissing but i am too insecure about my vagina to do anything. It hangs down alot and im worried he will be grossed out. Help:(
First of all DO NOT LET A BOY PRESSURE YOU INTO HAVING SEX. If he uses a line such as; "If you love me you will have sex with me." I can tell you for certainty he is not in love with you, he lusts for you.
Boys and girls at your age have a different definition for the word love. While girls definition is much closer to the dictionaries definition; most boys definition of the word is much closer to the word love.
Boys going through puberty are hard wired to have sex. That is all they think about because of the hormones now coursing through them. Hence the word horny. If your boyfriend is pushing you for sex tell him no and if he continues to push you for sex tell him he is sexually harassing you which is a felony even for him at his age.
Once someone boy or girl, man or women says no to sex. If the other person continues to push, beg, or in any manner try to force them to have sex with them, it is sexual harassment or rape. Tell him this that you said no and his continued pushing is unacceptable and if that is all he wants, or that is all you mean to him, he should find someone else.
Now as to your vagina. I'm a lot older than you, in fact I'm old enough to be your grandfather. So a little grandfatherly advice. As you can tell from my writing I am very liberal in my views on sex. You can ask me anything and I will give you and honest answer for I feel it is better you know then you don't know.
You happen to have a vagina that when the time is time is right will give you and the person you make love with a unique form of pleasure. What is hanging down I believe is your labia majora or outer lips of your vagina. When you become sexually excited these will become engorged giving you and your lover a great deal of pleasure. You both during oral sex and intercourse as the engorgement will bring the nerve endings forward. For him for the extra feel on his penis during intercourse and something else to give you pleasure with during foreplay and oral sex.
As a man I can tell you that I have never seen an ugly vagina. In fact I believe I would be correct in stating most of us spend very little time looking at the women's vagina as by the time we can view it we are more interested in doing other things such as fingering, licking and intercourse with it.
So don't be insecure about how your vagina looks. IF your girlfriends knew of the pleasure you will receive when you are ready for sex because of the type of vagina you have. They would be very jealous.
Below is a link to a website I recommend to all girls who want to know if they are ready for sex. I believe you may find this interesting as well.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html
Hi! 15/F.. I'm sorry if this story *̩s all over the place!? "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ Virgina *̩s very itchy! So 2day I went to the bathroom and I saw like almost a rash kind of red around the opening. I can't think of any thing that it could be? A Guy fingered me like 3 weeks ago and its been itching since. I'm to scared to talk to "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ mom about it? Any advice??
This is one of those questions where the only answer is to see a doctor. We are not doctors and even if we were we would need to see the rash in order to see what it is a decide how to treat it.
The rash could be anything from contact dermatitis to an STD. Or it could just be coincidental that you have a yeast infection. If it is a yeast infection you are not going to get any help from over the counter products.
You need to see a doctor the sooner the better. If you cannot see your own doctor then go to one of those walk in clinics that are popping u. Relief cold be just around the corner
I am involved with a married man (or was, or is?). Last week we spent two days together. On the second day, he told me it was over. He couldn't see me again, he hated the fact he was cheating on his wife, and it was killing him inside. We held each other and cried and said our Goodbye's. I felt as if the world came crashing down on me. I told him how sorry I was that we got involved in something that was against both our morals. He said he wanted to remain friends but we had to stop our flirting, texts, and messages.
The weekend went by and I barely ate or slept. Today he calls me (we work for the same department, different locations) and tells me he's not sure he's done with me yet. That he just wants an extended break. Why did he change his mind?
Some back story (without going in too far). I am married also. We started out as friends, talking back and forth at work to resolve the same problems. We are both over forty, with children, he loves his wife, I am with my husband because I am too afraid to be on my own (not financially, just physically alone). This is both our first, on cheating on our spouses. I've done massive research on why people have affairs, what happens in an affair, how does an affair end. I know that women believe they're in love, when they are really not (thanks to hormones!) and for men it's a break from the obligations of married life.
My problem is, now I'm in it, blind and dumb, but we click on so many levels (more than just sex). Why didn't he just end it and be done, why do you think he changed his mind?
Before you reply to my question, I know I am wrong, I know he is wrong. We are two selfish individuals, I deserve this, we are going to hell, etc. Try to refrain from putting me down more than I already do.
The other advisors could be right or this could be a case of the grass looked greener in another Meadow until he tried the grass and found out it wasn't. It is really hard to tell. It does sound like he is keeping his options open to see where his appendage with the other head has the best fit, so to speak.
What I don't understand is how a beautiful person such as you. I'm talking about the inner beauty I can see from your writing allows herself to be used in such a manner. You deserve better than to sit home and wait to see if he comes by for a quick shag in the bedroom then home to the wife and kids for dinner and sleep with his wife.
You should have more self-respect then allow him or anyone else to use you in this manner. If this is the only way you see yourself as being loved and loving someone. Then I would suggest seeing someone to help you regain the self-respect you lost. A clinical psychologist would be one such person to speak with.
You do not need to be depressed or mentally ill to see a psychologist. They help with all types of problems. With the loss of self-respect through talk therapy they will help you find where you lost it and how to rebuild it. You need to go back to find where and how it was lost before it can be rebuilt.
Ok, so here is a strange question for you: I asked my brother what he most wanted for his birthday and he said just that: "A bolt carrier group would be nice." Now here is the problem: I don't know what that is. Yes, I searched it on google, yes I found a picture in image search, and no, even looking at it I have no idea in the world where you would buy one or what exactly it is. Anyone know what I should do?
It sounds like your brother is either building a semi-automatic rifle or repairing or upgrading one he has. Before you can purchase what he is looking for you need to know what type of weapon it is for as one size does not fit all.
Once you have this information it is a simple matter of going online or a guns store to make the purchase. Be aware that these items do not come cheap. depending on the type of rifle he has the cost start in the $200 and up bracket.
Well I had sex for awhile now with different guys. Some guys I started bleeding with drops of blood not a lot but I don't know why? I don't know whats going on? I am scared to go get check out because my mom doesn't know nothing of this. So please help me
Hopefully you are over the age of 14, if so mom does not have to know anything about this. By a Federal Law called HIPPA you can see any doctor of your choosing without her knowledge of permission. It does not matter that you may be seeing a doctor under the family medical insurance. The fact that her insurance is paying for the doctors visit does not negate the law.
Briefly under the HIPPA law it states that young people 14 years of age and older cans see any doctor for anything related to their reproductive systems with total confidentiality. Meaning no doctor who sees or treats you for anything related to your reproductive system can discuss the exam, findings or treatment with anyone including your parents without your expressed permission in writing.
This also means mom can no longer be in the exam room with you whenever a female exam is being done to you. To receive the benefits of HIPPA all you need say to the doctors nurse or staff is that you wish to invoke your rights under HIPPA.
If you want you may go to any women's clinic and be seen and treated for whatever this problem is. All you need is proof of age that you are 14 or older. While you are there since you are sexually active I suggest you ask for a prescription for birth control medication. Under the HIPPA law they will write you a prescription if you ask for one.
hello everyone. I'm 15 female. Is there something wrong with me coz nobody had ever courted me so far. Like nobody since ever. I've had no boyfriend. I live in a city, im active in community and popular in our school.
Uhmm yeh I'm boyish type but I'm girly still. I play with guys on school and talked with guys always. Guys say that I talk like them and whilst girls on the other hand say that im still even girly. I have lots of crush in school and some of them know that I like them but they never courted me. Is there wrong with me? Coz I want to get a boyfriend. Thank you.
You say you're a little bit of a Tomboy yet you are also girly. That is like saying I'm a little bit country and I'm a little bit Rock and Roll.
Boys your age confuse easily. Meaning it depends how they see you as to why you may have boy friends and not a boyfriend. If they see you as one of the boys, as you say " yeh I'm boyish type," then they won't ask you out.
IF by being "Boyish" you mean you like to play sports or that you are very athletic, there is nothing wrong with that. Not knowing you I would have to say while you can be girly you may not look as girly as other girls. Your body may be more toned then other girls.
You may be more comfortable in slacks, Jeans and Polo shirts which would give off a more boyish look if you are toned up. You would have to work harder at looking girly with girlish hair styles, wearing dresses and skirts with blouses and sweaters.
This is all a guess on my part, based on what you have written. I don't know you but dressing the part is always good. Remember the old saying you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. In your case the honey is the dresses, skirts blouses and sweaters.
My boyfriend have been together for around 2 and a half years and we moved in together 8/9 months ago. Over the past few months things between us have started to go downhill pretty badly. We argue several times a week (mostly about things like house work and money) and our sex life is terrible! We treat each other horribly and don't show each other any respect.
I love our life together and when we are getting along things are great. Up until this point we were planning our long term future together but now I don't know if we have one at all. It all came to a head last night and we now haven't spoken for around 24 hours, something we have never done before even after arguing. We're at a total stalemate and I don't think either of us knows what to say anymore. Should I just give up on the relationship?
This to me sounds like to people who have or had a great sex life together and thought they were compatible enough to live together. Marriage and living together have a lot in common, about the only difference is there is no paperwork legally joining you.
One of the things I warn against when answering questions on living together is not to base a relationship entirely on sex. Sex will only take you so far. Then one day you wake up and need to talk to each other and do not know how to communicate with each other or cannot communicate on the same plain. I believe this is where you and your boyfriend are at now.
All is not lost as long as both you and your boyfriend wish to try to save the relationship. If you or he is not then it is time to decide who stays and who goes.
Should you decide to try and fix the relationship then this is what I believe needs to be done. Most young men at your age have had their mothers do everything for them. It is somewhat natural when entering into a living arrangement with a female that they would expect the female to take the place of their mother as far as the cooking and cleaning is concerned.
That may have been fine 20 or 30 years ago. Todays female wants a full partner in life in a living arrangement or marriage. I don't believe your boyfriend fully understands this. He may thing taking his dishes from where he watches TV to the sink is doing his share. You need to educate him that it is not fair to expect you to do all the cooking and cleaning and whatever else he expects you to do while he sits and watches sports on TV or goes out with his friends.
You need to make him understand that you have responsibilities outside the home all week just as he has. That you would like to spend some quality time on the weekends and not spend the entire weekend cleaning and doing other house work, that you are not the maid.
Now how you go about this is to take him out of the house to have this discussion. You could plan a picnic or a walk in the park or any place or activity where you can have a discussion without him trying to divert your intentions by getting you in bed.
In your own words you need to explain to him that your idea of a relationship is not being the cook, maid and sex toy. While you enjoy the se you need help with the house work and cooking. There is no reason he can't vacuum, dust, change the beds or clean the toilets.
It is possible he doesn't know how to cook. If so he can learn, I did and so did my son. My son had to learn, he's a firefighter and if he didn't learn to cook there would be no dinner on the nights he is scheduled to cook. It wasn't hard to teach him how to cook. We started with simple things like meat loaf, hamburgers, baked chicken and moved on from there. Today his shift looks forward to the nights he is the chef. To be brutally frank if I can teach myself to cook, then teach my son anyone can learn to cook.
You start by saying I love you and I'm looking at spending a lifetime with you. If we are going to spend a lifetime together there needs to be an understanding that we are a 50/50 couple in everything we do especially if and when children come along. I cannot be expected nor do I want to be the one to do everything. Then explain from there what you expect from him.
I know couples who have even written contracts about what is expect from each other. In the contract it spells out who is responsible for what. Also included are those things that can't be prepared for in which case they have written something to the effect; "whoever is most qualified will handle or supervise repairmen."
You have 2 1/2 years invested in this relationship. Moving in together is a step that lets you see a side of someone you don't see while dating. I think you need to see if adjustments can be made between to correct things before you throw in the towel.
I am 29 years old Indian boy.I live in dubai.At 20th Sept 2012 I got for a sex relation with a sex worker.I used the condom but there were some scratches at the under part of peni.After 6months of this meeting I suffer from the flu when I got the medicines of the flu it recovered but the headache in the back starts and also suffer from dirrea.then I went for the test which was negative but the problems of headache remain continue ,I went to India and May 2013 get elesa test but all were negative , Aug 2013 I get the card test which also negative, Oct 2013 elesa test negtive , march 2014 hiv1/2 negtive but headache , sore throat , neck pain still and morning temp 97.3 evening 99.1, Next month i am having a plan to get marry a girl. Please tell me if I should postponed the marriage? Waiting for your reply
You have had 5 negative test for STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus all have been negative. This pretty much say you don't have the virus. The other problems you speak of if the doctors can find nothing wrong with you may just be stress over your worry of having HIV/AIDS.
I've always known my dad had bad anger issues, but I didn't know it would get this bad. Yesterday I said something mildly negative about a commercial on eggs (which was playing on the TV at that time), and he thought I was saying it to him, and threw random stuff at me. I don't think most people could've misinterpreted what I said, and when I explained to him, he kept screaming at me to shut up. When he argued why he thought it was about him, he was being really hypocritical, and not making any sense. Usually he's a great debater (we've debated on different topics for fun before when I was younger).
Today, because my table was slightly messy, he kept saying I was a piece of trash. Which didn't really affect me because I'm used to his behavior, but it's been continuing from this morning to now. He hasn't been saying anything except for "rubbish, trash" and random outbursts of gibberish for the entire day now. I know it's directed to me, because he's always tried to be nice to my mom and sister.
I've always told my mom he has anger management issues and stuff, and needs help, but every time she responds with "shut up". She always tells me he's fine, even though recently he told me he was suicidal. When I bring it up to my mom, she immediately puts up a wall, and calls me a smartass, and sometimes stuff like "we don't need you, wish you were never born" but I've stopped caring about what they say.
My dad isn't an alcoholic, doesn't smoke, and I doubt he does drugs. He does have alot of stress because he's in a very stressful job, but nobody in my family even brings up the fact he needs help. I don't know what I should do, and I don't understand what's happening to him. Please help?
First none of us are doctors so we could not make a diagnoses. Even if we were a diagnosis it is impossible to make one from what little information you have supplied.
To even hazard a guess I would need to know your fathers age and some of his medical history and family medical history. For example does depression run in his family, high blood, pressure, cancer. Are his parents still living if not at what age did the pass away.
Why is this information needed? For one thing it gives clues as to what may be bothering you dad or causing him undue stress. For example if he is reaching the age that his father passed away at he might be stressed about that. He shouldn't be for advances in medical science have been tremendous still it is something that he could be stressed over. The same holds true for your mother.
This is more than an anger management issue for if I am reading you correctly this is something that is more recent in his behavior. What you really need is to try to get him to see his doctor for a complete physical including a screening for depression.
The hard part about this is the younger you are the harder it is going to be for you to him to see his doctor especially if your mother is ignoring the problem. If your father sees his doctor on a regular basis then a call to his doctor with your concerns could be appropriate.
I love my family very much, but for some readon, I am unable to stay away from my grandmother. Nothing bad is going on at home, it's just that I can't stay away from her. Is there something wrong with me?
Grandparents and grandchildren sometimes enjoy a special bond. If you are one of those grandchildren that have a special bond with your grandmother you are one of the lucky ones. I had a special bond with my grandfather who unfortunately passed away while I was still in my teens and I was devastated by the loss.
Unless grandma has asked you to stay way or your parents have asked you to stay away for reasons that are not obvious in your writing. Then enjoy the time you have with your grandmother. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or the relationship you have with your grandmother.
Good evening. I am a 23 year old female. While I was in college, I was living at home due to some family and financial issues. I earned my degree in December and I am looking for a full-time job. But, before I start with the what is going now, it would only be fair to give you background of the problem. Since I was in high school, my mom has had a bad opinion of every guy I've ever dated. I thought it was just natural, like no one was good enough for her daughter type of thing. But, she made me break up with two guys I dated in high school. She just said that she wouldn't drive me to the dates (back then, we didn't drive) and I wasn't allowed to drive with them, etc.
As I got older, I realized her dangerous behaviors. None of these guys were "bad guys." They may not have been the most attractive, but none of them were bad. We live in a neighborhood of private schools nearby, so people usually go to the local private schools and they are very strict. No one did drugs, drank, etc. Everyone was pretty good. It was about control. It was about who she would want to date vs. who I would want to date. The problem has escalated to a terrible point and it is very serious. At 23, I have a boyfriend who I have been dating for over 2 years. We have talked seriously about marriage. She refuses to meet his family and hated him for no good reason. The nagging was constant. It was like she would never stop. She would stand over my bed talking about it at night and when I would wake up, she was there again talking about it. When I'd come home from having dinner with him, she would constantly be asking me when I was going to break up with him. At breakfast, all she talks about is how I'm going to break up with him. I think the part that annoys her the most is that this is the first boyfriend I had as an adult and she cannot control the relationship. But, the nagging started affecting me. It got to the point where I even thought about breaking up with him just to stop the nagging. But, then the following happened.
A couple of days ago, he made a sexual move on me that I did not like. It was not the first time he did this. This sexual behavior is very violent and it was not exactly something that I liked. It was a turn-off because it actually hurt and I spent so much time fighting it off, that I couldn't really enjoy anything. This has happened quite a few times where he has kind of forced himself. But, I am also at fault. Although I was telling him to stop during the action itself, I didn't mention it afterwards. I acted as if it never happened. I guess I was kind of scared to say something. But, looking back, I think if we would have talked about it seriously afterwards, he would have stopped.
I went on a trip with my mom last weekend, and she kept on nagging and nagging the whole 5 hour car ride there, so I just told her that I was going to break up with him because of this (above). You need to understand my mother's nagging. It is like interrogation tactics in a criminal investigation. It gets to a point where you just want to scream.
I hadn't seen him in one week because I was out of town and working late. And when I saw him today, my world just came together. I saw him, hugged him, and thought to myself that I could never live without him. He is the love of my life and everything I could ask for him a man. He's sweet, generous, loves me, and respects me more than anyone else in my house. Did I mention I had to sneak in secret to see him? Because of how scared I am of my mom. I'm 23 years old... I shouldn't have to sneak out to see my boyfriend, who I am likely marrying within the next two years. Being in his arms today reminded me that I didn't care if my mom wouldn't come to my wedding or if she never meets his parents. We have each other and that's all that matters to me.
Since this weekend, my mom is STILL NAGGING ME... BUT DIFFERENTLY. She keeps asking me if I'm sad, how I feel, and when we can "talk." She starts telling me how I need to make more friends, how I abandoned my old ones (which is not true. My best friend since 2nd grade never spoke to me again after she found out my mom lost her job and we couldn't afford things). She starts saying that I need to do this and that and finds other things to nag about. So, it pretty much confirmed my emotions. My mom is going to nag, regardless. I need to get out! All I need is to find a job by summer ( a full-time). But, in the meantime, I'm going to have to find a temporary place to live and I need a loan. Where can I get a loan? I'm not in school anymore... if you can please help me... please tell me what my options are. I am so overwhelmed. Please...
Dragonflymagic is correct banks do not make loans or what would be classified as an unsecured personal loan for the reason you want one. Not at the present time anyway; there was a time some banks did though that was long before the last banking collapse.
I have a suggestion that might help you in moving out of your moms house. Instead of looking to rent a place all on your own there are alternatives. You can look to rent a room someplace close to where you work or you can look for a roommate to share an apartment with.
The following website is one of a number of its kind that you can use to locate a room or a roommate to share an apartment with.
http://www.roommates.com/
Now for a little grandfatherly advice and since I am of that age I am going to offer it.
I did not like reading that whatever sexual activity you two were engaged in was violent and hurt you and that when you said stop he did not stop. This is wrong, very wrong and show a side of him that you need to stop, step back and really think about for he has done this more than once according to what you have written.
There is nothing wrong with any type of sex act between two consenting adults. The operative word here is CONSENTING. If either party is not consenting then it is not done. It matters not what that sex at is as long as you both consent what happens in the privacy of your home or bedroom is fine and is not weird. It becomes weird when it is forced on one of the partners by the other. Which seems to be the case here.
I'm very liberal on in my views on consensual sex. I don't really care what the act is as long as you tell me it was consensual between you. It may not be my cup of tea but that's fine if it is yours. If you want him to spank you, fine, if he wants you to spank him, him fine. If one of you wants to be ties up that's fine too just as long as you both consent. There is a whole list of sexual positions and acts that two people can do and enjoy together provided there is consent. If forced on one it is at least sexual assault if not rape.
Depending on what he act you are talking about was and the fact that he did not stop when you tried to force him off of then you were raped. How is it possible that someone who says he loves you would resort to raping you for his sexual pleasure?
I would like you to find a psychologist to speak with about what happened. Everything you tell the psychologist is confidential so he cannot get in trouble by you and the therapist discussing this issue as what you say stays in the room you say it in. Your EAP program at work can help you both find a psychologist and pay for the first few visits then your health insurance should take over.
I think it is important to do this for in your zeal to get away from your mother you are grabbing at the first lifeboat to come by. This life boat has some tendencies that could end up hurting you. Before they do you need to let someone help you take a better look at the lifeboat you have clung on too.
17F
So I like this girl from work. She is just a very refreshing person to talk to and be around, not to mention I think she's incredibly beautiful. It started off with pure infatuation but has calmed down a bit. So I have a couple questions I need answered.
1. She is 21 and I am 17, is that too much of an age difference? I turn 18 in August
2. She agreed to go to prom with me as a "friend" but she already had her prom so is there something more there? She seems into it. Already got her dress, wants to go pick out corsages...
3. Should I make a move? I already told her how I felt and she said on occasions she felt a little more for me than just a friend but isn't sure if she could be in a romantic relationships with a girl (she has hooked up with girls only) I was thinking maybe if I take her on a date, it could open up her mind
Any other comments, just make them :)
Generally speaking a difference in age is just a number. For example my mother in-law was 5 years older than my father in-law. Yes she was teased a bit when they first married about robbing the cradle but it was good natured.
In your case depending on the age of consent in your state there could be legal complications if you two were more than just friends. These complications evaporate when you turn 18 as you are then legally an adult. Until then in the eyes of the laws of your state she could be charged with any number of different violations of the law because of your difference in age.
She very well could be into you as more than just a friend. But given the laws of your state she can only be your friend until you turn 18. This may be why she has agreed only to go to the Prom with you AS YOUR FRIEND.
Then of course there is the lesbian aspects of the relationship you are asking her for. If she is unsure of her sexuality this too could be causing her to hold back. For girls in college to be bi or keep their sexual life mostly or entirely to their same sex is not uncommon. After they are done with college most return to heterosexual sex or possibly being bi.
The reason for this is lesbian sex is easy to come by and it is safe. It is also a means to an end meaning it brings the sexual relief they need and desire as well as loving companionship without the worries of pregnancy.
There may be a lot more here than just your age difference. I would give her some time to figure out who she is sexually while the age difference becomes no longer a legal problem in August when you turn 18.
If this relationship you are looking for is meant to be; then the short wait be worth your patience.
Okay so I started dating this boy Jayden he's insanely cute with hazel eyes justin bieber hair around April 4 . 2013 . We were both 12 in 7th grade and you know where I'm from half the people in my school already had sex one was actually pregnant she was in eighth . And well .. The only thing I've done sexual before was got my pussy rubbed like they're fingering me from the outside like through my clothes and now it's April 5 2014 . I've been dating Jayden . For 12 months now well okay . On July 10th my birthday he was in my room and we were making out and when we made out with eachother we always touched eachother like he would would rub down there and I would rub his dick . And this time he actually slid his hand down there I stopped kissing him and looked at him and he said " I love you so much " then bit his lip and started kissing me again of course I couldn't resist . So he put one finger inside me it didn't hurt it actually felt good an he started pacing up the speed then he put in two which sorta hurt because I'm really tight /.\ but after like 20 seconds it stopped hurting and he was going really fast and we were moaning really loud because my parents were gone . And I cam all over his hand after that he ate me out , we didn't have sex because we both agreed we wouldn't until 16 . Well on his birthday which was like a couple weeks after mind July 23rd I came to his house and his mom and brothers went out to buy a cake we were on his bed and I like sat on top of him and started making out with him he starts to take my shirt off .. Which Im really uncomfortable with my body but he's seen my boobs before because of pictures but anyways started kissing my boobs then we switched spots he got on top of me and he just pulled the part where it between your thighs up because we didn't want to go fully naked in case his mom got home . So he pulled his basketball shorts down a little and I gotta admit it was huge which made me nervous he started putting it in I didn't want him to put all of it in because I was sort of scared so he stuck half of it in and started stroking back and forth we were both moaning and as soon as he cummed you could hear his moms car doors lock so we quickly got up straightened our selves up ran to the living room and act like we were just watching tv I guess you can say that was the best present ever . And I really loved him I still do he means the world to me . Okay in September me and him broke up for about I think 1 week or 2 weeks because he hugged some other girl an the girl liked him . During that i was texting his friend jake all the time and I did like jake before I even dated Jayden and I started to like him again . So after school we walked to his house then the park down the street and no one was there so we went in this thing that had two big walls on each side I was sitting on his lap and we were just talking then I notice he got A Boner so I got up and got in my knees and we smiled at eachother he zipped his pants undone and pulled it out it was pretty big I didn't give him a blowjob because I honestly think that's gross so I have him a handjob about 5 minutes in to it and asked if we could titty fuck and I gave in and said yes when we started doing that he cummed all over my boobs and i got a text fom Jayden saying " myname I love you and I miss you so much please come to my house " and Jayden lived about 4 blocks from where I was at so I got up and put my shirt back on and told jake I have to go I gave him a hug and ran to Jayden's house he gave me a big hug an kissed me and said he was sorry and he loved me and he didn't want nobody else so I took him back but jake is Jayden's bestfriend so whenever me and Jayden went to the mall or something he would bring jake which would he extra awkward but now me and him are just friends and talk once and awhile . But this month was me and Jayden's anniversary we just went to the same place we hanged the first day we dated which was in front of my grandmas house with my friends Noah , and Boyd . We just laughed and talked about memories . Jayden did eventually find out what happens between me and jake in like February he was mad or awhile but he said it's okay we weren't together during that and honestly I felt like I only did to get over Jayden . But I love this boy to death and I'd not be with anyone besides him . I will marry this boy and I know that for a fact . You guys might not understand my life and yes I do regret doing that with jake I'm not gonna use the term " young and dumb " it's more like " dumb ass things To get over ex " but like i said I love that boy and I always will I just wanna know if I'm dumb for doing this with the one I love or not ? Even if they're bad opinions I won't care it's my life not anyone's else's . I don't even know why I bothered to ask this question when I shouldn't are about anyone's opinion . I'm not gonna get pregnant and im using protection and I have birth control pills . Definatly not having kids and the last time me and him had sex was about December . I told him we should wait a little more into really getting into it .
Is it wrong to be sexual at ages 12, 13, or 14. Wow is that a loaded question of sorts.
First there is a difference between being sexual and having sex which is what I believe you are asking. Being sexual at the ages you mention is all part of going through puberty which is what happens to all teenagers at the age you mention. How you handle being sexual depends on whether you are just a sexy person or a person who is having sex.
I hate sounding like an English teach and I'm not. I have spent my entire working life as a salesman and words and how you use them are important. There is nothing wrong with being sexual at the ages you speak about. This when you learn about your own sexuality. This is the time for making out and masturbation to find out what turns you on. It is not the time to be having sex.
There are many reasons why you should not be having sex at the ages you write about. For girls more than boys the old double standard comes in as well. Besides both boys and girls being too immature in body and spirit; Girls must think of their reputations as well.
Boys cannot keep having sex a secret, they will tell their best friend. This friend will tell another and before she knows it the girls who are having sex with their boyfriends are suddenly the most popular girls in school for the wrong reasons. Once this horse is out of the barn there's no putting it back.
Using birth control medication is good and using condom as well is even better. You should never have sex with anyone without using a condom regardless of if you are on birth control. For those girls under ages of 14 they cannot get birth control medication without parental permission and they must rely on condoms alone. Condoms alone are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy.
There is one more point that needs to be brought out about boys in this age group. They do not have the same definition of love that girls do. In fact for most boys their definition of love at this age is synonymous with lust. So I ask you this question; did Jayden come back to because of true love or lust? Meaning would his new girlfriend not provide the sexual relief you had provided and therefore he lusted for the relief you provide him? This is a question you need to answer since you see him as your future husband. If his love is only that of lust then he does not see you way you see him.
This is the true problem between being sexual and being sexually active at the ages you speak of.
Im 22, boyfriend is soon to be 26. Been together for 6 months. He by far treats me better than anyone and Im starting to really care for and love him. He's had a very bad past, and used to abuse pills and drugs and a lot of stuff. At the beginning I caught him abusing pills about 3-4 times. I could tell by the way he acted and a couple times he ended up telling me he did take one. He knew I wouldn't wanna be with him if he's doing that. Well, now i am certain he's gotta be doing something. He tells me he smokes weed sometimes, yet for months and months he's said how proud he is that he hasn't smoked at all. I confronted him the other day if he took pills and I told him I notice how sick he looks and gets out of no where and how he can't keep it up during sex. He'll look pale, complain about his heart beating weird, start sweating, sometimes feels cold to touch, and complains about not feeling right. That's when he said no I smoke sometimes though. Anyone know sure tell signs of someone taking pills? The ones he would be taking is like xanax or serious pain killers. He acts sketchy but I have no sure way to find out. What are signs? I don't think smoking the weed he smokes, which is wax (thc wax like marijuana) would do those symptoms? Plus, he's had those symptoms when he's been with me all day and I know he didn't have time to go smoke (I would have smelled it)
While looking for a good reference for you to look at in answer to your question. I came across a website that offers a toll free hotline for questions and help like the question you are asking. They have trained councilors answering the hotline to help you with your questions. The hotline is not only for the abuser but is for friends. and family of the abuser to call for help or to get answers for questions as well.
Pain Killer Abuse - 24 Hour Addiction Treatment Helpline: 800-559-9503
You may also want to visit there website as it offers a lot of information. For answers to specific questions such as yours I would suggest calling the hotline.
http://www.painkillerabuse.us/
My grandmother has four grandchildren and seven great grandchildren and has a list of her favorites to least favorites. I'm at the bottom of the list, behind the great grandchildren and everyone. I don't know what's more irritating, the way she treats me or the reason why she treats me that way.
I am the second born and second girl in my family. My dad was the first of her children to have more than one child himself. Up until I was born, my grandmother could have special one on one time with each of her grandkids when she went to visit one of them. I ruined that when I was born and I think it got under her skin.
Also, I think she'd have rather me been a boy. There's only one boy in the family, my cousin, Wesley (my only friend in the family) who can carry on our family name. We don't have the most common last name, but there's no way it'll just die out if Wesley doesn't have a son. So far, he's had three daughters. When his second and especially his last were on the way, my other cousin and grandmother were almost in tears at the news of them being girls. They say that he doesn't need another girl because he already has one/two and I just think, "$#it, is this what they said about me?" I think they think of me as being some kind of disaster or curse and it sucks of them.
As for the way they treat me, I'm a nothing to them. I'm 26 and live in the same town as my parents which is an hour away from my grandmother, cousin, and cousin's family. My sister is 28 and lives nine hours away. My grandmother (and grandfather when he was alive) always ask my dad when my sister's coming for a visit. When they know she's coming soon, they ask and ask when my dad will bring her to see them. Meanwhile, I live an hour away and they never ask to see me. I see them pretty much only when my sister's in town. I know I could go see them, but they'll never tell me when's a good time. They're uninterested in seeing me and in sick of it.
My mom's family never leaves my dad out of anything, but my dad's leaves me and my mom out all the time. They'll invite him to drive down and go to dinner with them, which he keeps a secret until after he goes because they didn't invite us. They invite all the other relatives and their spouses, but don't want me and my mom.
I try with them. For example, I went to the funeral of my cousin's mother (uncle's ex wife), I was there for her the night my uncle died even though I hardly knew him, and I got up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday and drove three hours to and from some kind of ceremony that my grandparents wanted me at. My sister does non of those things, but my cousin buys her Christmas presents and buys me Jack squat. My grandmother wants to see her and doesn't care to see me. I'M DONE!
If this is all because of my birth order and gender, I have less of an interest in tring with them. My dad and Wesley are the only people I want to try with at all from that side of the family. I guess my question is, I'm a bad person for feeling this way? If so, what should I be doing?
Unfortunately you are not the first person to feel this way we get many letters just like yours. Fact is based on what you have written it has been this way for as long as you can remember. This tells me it is not you, it is them. The why of it I can't really say.
Fact is I know exactly how you feel for we have a different but similar situation in our family. When my wife's brother married we were left out of the wedding. Her dad for the longest time thought we had refused to attend until we told him we never received an invitation. If her Aunt had not said something w weeks before the wedding we would never had known.
We had a newborn infant and I had just started a new job. Had we had sufficient notice I could have made the time off part of my contract of hire and brought my parents down to baby sit their grandson. With the little notice we had and never a real invitation we were not able to attend.
Since then for over 30 years she has systematically left of out of major events in their lives and the lives of our niece and nephew. We hardly know the women and have no idea what we have done to offend her. Some time later I met her brother at a National meeting of the company we both worked for and he told me that is just the way she and her mother are. He too was not invited to the wedding and he stay as far away from her and his mother as possible.
I felt a little better but my wife and her brother had been very close and that hurt me.
Jump ahead 30 years, very recently, my brother in-law is executor of an Aunt's estate. This Aunt was more like their mother than Aunt. I've finally had it as I'm getting dunned by the state for taxes on funds I haven't received. So I write a searing letter to him detailing all the slights over that past 30 years and giving him a specific date he has to have the estate settled by or I will have the courts settle the estate. He settles the estate but say nothing about the slights we felt of how hurt his sister is.
I tell you all this because having a similar situation I did what I thought needed to be done. I felt he needed to know from us how we felt then the ball would be in his court to fix or ignore. He has not made any attempt to fix the wrongs.
You could write your grandparents and tell them how you feel and how hurt you are. They will either tell you that you are wrong and they don't play favorites but they do all grandparents do my parents included. They can also just ignore your letter which is most possible.
What you really have to know is you have done nothing wrong. You have tried to have a relationship with them and it has gone no place. Now you can chose to continue to try of just go your separate way. If you chose to go your separate way that does not make you a bad person. Just be there for your dad and Wesley when they need you.
Because of that bleeding my wife is not allowing me to fuck her she is scared will she become pregnent what can I do she is telling she can only pregnent after her studies
For the last time; YOU CANNOT MAKE A WOMEN PREGNANT BY HAVING ANAL SEX. HER REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM CAN ONLY BE REACHED THROUGH VAGINAL INTERCOURSE. GOT IT.
Now if your wife is bleeding when your having anal sex she needs to see a doctor. The reason for the bleeding could be several factors. Internal hemorrhoids which would also make anal sex very painful for her. You could be to rough entering her, not using enough lubricant. You could be overly large in girth and tearing her. Remember the anus is not designed to be opened from the outside in. When you have anal sex you are forcing muscle to do what they are not designed to do and you could be tearing her internally.
One other thing to consider. I fucked a lot of women before I met my wife but I have never fucked my wife; even when we first met. I make love to wife. There is a difference to making love and fucking. If you are fucking your wife instead of making love to her; this too could contribute to her bleeding.
Most important is you get your wife to a doctor and find out why she is bleeding. There is nothing to be embarrassed about in telling the doctor why your wife is bleed. I assure you nothing you say to the doctor will shock the doctor or be something the doctor has not heard before.
Me and my boyfriend have just started dating, and he already wants a kid. I am 17 and he is 18, I love kids, BUT I'm not 100% I'm ready. I am a girl to likes to go out and have fun. Any suggestions on how to handle it?
There is so much wrong here I'm not sure where to begin.
We can forget about your ages for the moment. You two just started dating and he is already talking about having children. Does he mean now or some time in the future like after you two have been to college. If he means now then I suggest you find a new boyfriend as this one is being unrealistic. His desire to have you get pregnant is also a desire to control you. This is not good.
You're right not to want to be tied down to children at your age. Not just because you want to have fun. Children are a big responsibility. Children need a lot of maintenance, there is clothing, shoes, diapers, formula, food, medicine, doctors, dentists, toys to play and learn with, books and a host of other things. How does he intend to pay for all this. At 18 he cannot possibly have gone to college and with a high school diploma finding a job is next to impossible.
Many of the traditional jobs that were there for the high school diploma only people are being taken by those coming out of college as they are the only jibs available and they need the money to pay off student loans.
No now is not the time for you to have children. When you are ready to have children it has to be a decision that both you and hopefully your husband make together and you both want to have a child. Other wise you will have problems.
As my mother would have said; "There are plenty of fish in the sea." So find yourself a new boyfriend, go to college and have fun as well. Hopefully when you finish school the job market will be better. Then when you are ready you can consider bringing a child into this world.
Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't really know which category to put this in. If you could help me I would be grateful.
So I went to a school dance years ago and a random guy that I didn't know walked up and started dancing with me. It was okay at first but things started getting more...skeptical, I guess. He got behind me and started grinding up against me, and his hands held me at my waist. I felt slightly uncomfortable at this point but didn't say anything. Then his hands moved over the spot where my genitals were and his fingers were rubbing against that spot. That was when I tried to move away, but he just pulled me back and did it more. I tried to say 'no' and 'stop' but it didn't come out very loudly. I tried moving away several times.
My question is..is this considered sexual assault?
Yes, any time someone touches you it is an assault. If they touch you in a sexual manner, such as you described it is sexual assault. If his fingers entered your vagina, even through your clothing, it could be considered rape.
Depending where you live the statute of limitations on these types of crimes is generally 5 years. Depending on how many years ago this was and how old you both were at the time; it would probably come down to she said, he said unless other girls come forward to say he did the same to them.
Given the fact that you bring this up now and are questioning if this is an sexual assault. I would say this incident is still bothering you. Sexual assaults are traumatic even one where no actual sex is involved such as penetrative rape.
You're feeling bad that you did nothing and let it happen, that you did not yell or scream loud enough to make him stop. Don't feel bad you have no idea what he would have done or said had you screamed loud enough for others to hear. When the music stopped I'm sure you walked away; that was the right thing to do.
What I suggest since this is bothering you is that you need to bring some type of closure to this event that gives you comfort. None of us can do that for you as we do not have the training for it and it needs to be done one on one. What I suggest is doing the following.
Contact a psychologist for some talk therapy about what has happened. A psychologist is trained to help you find the closure you are looking for. To find one specifically trained in this area you could call your local rape crisis center or call 1-800-656-HOPE.
Calling this number will connect you to an organization called RAINN which though them your call will be routed to your closest crisis center. RAINN stands for Rape, Assault, Incest, National Network. The volunteers who answer the phone are trained to help you.
While your abuse may not be recent it is fresh enough in your mind to be bothering you. This gives you the right and the need to call a crisis intervention center for assistance. Through them you will find the right specialist who can help you put closure to what happened.
Putting closure to something does not mean you will forget what happened. What closure brings is a way of dealing with this properly so you can move on with your life and have a good life and a good sex life since this was a sexual assault.