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Is it wrong being sexual around the ages 12-13-14?
Okay so I started dating this boy Jayden he's insanely cute with hazel eyes justin bieber hair around April 4 . 2013 . We were both 12 in 7th grade and you know where I'm from half the people in my school already had sex one was actually pregnant she was in eighth . And well .. The only thing I've done sexual before was got my pussy rubbed like they're fingering me from the outside like through my clothes and now it's April 5 2014 . I've been dating Jayden . For 12 months now well okay . On July 10th my birthday he was in my room and we were making out and when we made out with eachother we always touched eachother like he would would rub down there and I would rub his dick . And this time he actually slid his hand down there I stopped kissing him and looked at him and he said " I love you so much " then bit his lip and started kissing me again of course I couldn't resist . So he put one finger inside me it didn't hurt it actually felt good an he started pacing up the speed then he put in two which sorta hurt because I'm really tight /.\ but after like 20 seconds it stopped hurting and he was going really fast and we were moaning really loud because my parents were gone . And I cam all over his hand after that he ate me out , we didn't have sex because we both agreed we wouldn't until 16 . Well on his birthday which was like a couple weeks after mind July 23rd I came to his house and his mom and brothers went out to buy a cake we were on his bed and I like sat on top of him and started making out with him he starts to take my shirt off .. Which Im really uncomfortable with my body but he's seen my boobs before because of pictures but anyways started kissing my boobs then we switched spots he got on top of me and he just pulled the part where it between your thighs up because we didn't want to go fully naked in case his mom got home . So he pulled his basketball shorts down a little and I gotta admit it was huge which made me nervous he started putting it in I didn't want him to put all of it in because I was sort of scared so he stuck half of it in and started stroking back and forth we were both moaning and as soon as he cummed you could hear his moms car doors lock so we quickly got up straightened our selves up ran to the living room and act like we were just watching tv I guess you can say that was the best present ever . And I really loved him I still do he means the world to me . Okay in September me and him broke up for about I think 1 week or 2 weeks because he hugged some other girl an the girl liked him . During that i was texting his friend jake all the time and I did like jake before I even dated Jayden and I started to like him again . So after school we walked to his house then the park down the street and no one was there so we went in this thing that had two big walls on each side I was sitting on his lap and we were just talking then I notice he got A Boner so I got up and got in my knees and we smiled at eachother he zipped his pants undone and pulled it out it was pretty big I didn't give him a blowjob because I honestly think that's gross so I have him a handjob about 5 minutes in to it and asked if we could titty fuck and I gave in and said yes when we started doing that he cummed all over my boobs and i got a text fom Jayden saying " myname I love you and I miss you so much please come to my house " and Jayden lived about 4 blocks from where I was at so I got up and put my shirt back on and told jake I have to go I gave him a hug and ran to Jayden's house he gave me a big hug an kissed me and said he was sorry and he loved me and he didn't want nobody else so I took him back but jake is Jayden's bestfriend so whenever me and Jayden went to the mall or something he would bring jake which would he extra awkward but now me and him are just friends and talk once and awhile . But this month was me and Jayden's anniversary we just went to the same place we hanged the first day we dated which was in front of my grandmas house with my friends Noah , and Boyd . We just laughed and talked about memories . Jayden did eventually find out what happens between me and jake in like February he was mad or awhile but he said it's okay we weren't together during that and honestly I felt like I only did to get over Jayden . But I love this boy to death and I'd not be with anyone besides him . I will marry this boy and I know that for a fact . You guys might not understand my life and yes I do regret doing that with jake I'm not gonna use the term " young and dumb " it's more like " dumb ass things To get over ex " but like i said I love that boy and I always will I just wanna know if I'm dumb for doing this with the one I love or not ? Even if they're bad opinions I won't care it's my life not anyone's else's . I don't even know why I bothered to ask this question when I shouldn't are about anyone's opinion . I'm not gonna get pregnant and im using protection and I have birth control pills . Definatly not having kids and the last time me and him had sex was about December . I told him we should wait a little more into really getting into it .
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At 12, 13, 14, most people are being flooded with hormones that bring on the sexual changes in their bodies. They can not avoid being a sexual creature now any more than one can avoid not blinking their eyes beyond a certain point in time. Your sexuality and the changes in your body are part of the physiology and functioning of your body. You can't hold off or stop these sexual changes to your body. With the changes come the sexual urges and the good feelings
What you are on is your sexual debut...its not about a loss of anything like virginity but a gaining of experience about your sexual self and it includes studying what your genitals look like, smell like, and what you taste like, learning how to bring yourself to orgasm with the clit or g spot. Eventually a person broadens their horizon and includes another person in the experience. I was glad to hear you are on birth control. Theres always the fact a person can use self control and avoid sexual exploration with another person unless there is really a good reason not to. Otherwise people will explore.
I'll tell you what I told my 3 daughters when they were your age. Watch all the other girls who are dating and breaking up back and forth all the time. Watch what effect it has on their grades and studies in school and decide if you want to experience the same. They reported back to me that indeed the popular girls who dated all the time one boy after the other, were getting bad grades and skipping classes, or started smoking, etc and their focus was not on school anymore, they were too distracted. I told the daughters, that is exactly what happens. And at their age, it is even harder to choose to find a balance and give enough time to studies when boys are so fun and interesting.
Then I told them I understood that even since they decided not to date until they graduate, just in case they did meet and become attracted to a guy and it ends up they have deep feelings and want so badly to experience sex together, then I told them to come to me and we'd get them put on birth control. Knowing they had my okay, none of them ever needed it. All 3 avoided dating in highschool, had male friends but no boyfriends. But once school was done, they found boyfriends and sex partners. I gave them a choice that was all theirs.
You have made a choice too. Now that you have tasted what sex is like with a partner, there is really no going back to not doing it ever until, say you finish high school.
Just to clear up what being sexual vs. having sex is, I want you to think for a moment of two females or two males exploring sex together, they dont have the right parts for penis in vagina sex, so when guys give each other a hand job/blow job, is that technically not sex? It sure brings on orgasms which is something that happens with sex. Sex is not just one act but made up of many that happen in a natural progression. You can't single out one piece and say it is not sexual. Other than a quick peck on the lips, I find even just kissing a man to be sexual. Its several steps away from having pen-vag sex and can't get pregnant from kissing but it is part of the arousal process of our genitals which is part of being sexual. Then theres touching each other, cuddling clothed or naked, foreplay to work on arousal, oral sex, hand jobs and fingering, which should bring orgasms for both guys and gals if the partner is doing it right. If not, talk to each other and instruct what changes to make. And then finally, there is "intercourse" the more technical word for what teens call 'Sex', penetrative penis in vagina sex. But all the rest is sexual as well. You just decide what it is you are comfortable with. There is no rush to do it all at once.
You mentioned knowing you'd marry him some day. Thats wonderful. You may be right and then again things may change. I do know that some people meet in school and end up marrying the only person they ever dated and had sex with, but the highschool sweethearts that marry is a very rare occurance. It is more common that people meet and date and have sex with several people before they find the right person to marry. If you have lucked out into the right one...then you are blessed indeed. You have no control though on whether he changes his mind as he grows older. Hopefully not for your sake. In case things don't go as you believe they will, all is not lost, dating several people rather than just one helps us to form an idea of what we are looking for in a long term partner by being able to make comparisons from our experiences. Just remember the traits you liked about him and look for that in the next person.
Hope my ramblings have helped you some.
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Wow that was a lot of detail I did not need to know.
Well, obviously people do sexual things at your age. They're exploring and all that but my own opinion is that it should wait. Only because a lot of girls can't hold their ground. Like they say they'll wait till they're older but in the moment, they give in and end up having sex. Which is what happened with you, I mean you both said you'd wait but you gave in during the moment.
So I wouldn't get sexual with someone unless I know I will stop them or I'm ready to have sex. Or even better, date a guy who won't push your boundaries.
So it's not that it's "wrong" to be sexual at that age, it just leads to more if you're not careful and girls that are 12, 13 and 14 aren't really equipped to handle it.
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Is it wrong to be sexual at ages 12, 13, or 14. Wow is that a loaded question of sorts.
First there is a difference between being sexual and having sex which is what I believe you are asking. Being sexual at the ages you mention is all part of going through puberty which is what happens to all teenagers at the age you mention. How you handle being sexual depends on whether you are just a sexy person or a person who is having sex.
I hate sounding like an English teach and I'm not. I have spent my entire working life as a salesman and words and how you use them are important. There is nothing wrong with being sexual at the ages you speak about. This when you learn about your own sexuality. This is the time for making out and masturbation to find out what turns you on. It is not the time to be having sex.
There are many reasons why you should not be having sex at the ages you write about. For girls more than boys the old double standard comes in as well. Besides both boys and girls being too immature in body and spirit; Girls must think of their reputations as well.
Boys cannot keep having sex a secret, they will tell their best friend. This friend will tell another and before she knows it the girls who are having sex with their boyfriends are suddenly the most popular girls in school for the wrong reasons. Once this horse is out of the barn there's no putting it back.
Using birth control medication is good and using condom as well is even better. You should never have sex with anyone without using a condom regardless of if you are on birth control. For those girls under ages of 14 they cannot get birth control medication without parental permission and they must rely on condoms alone. Condoms alone are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy.
There is one more point that needs to be brought out about boys in this age group. They do not have the same definition of love that girls do. In fact for most boys their definition of love at this age is synonymous with lust. So I ask you this question; did Jayden come back to because of true love or lust? Meaning would his new girlfriend not provide the sexual relief you had provided and therefore he lusted for the relief you provide him? This is a question you need to answer since you see him as your future husband. If his love is only that of lust then he does not see you way you see him.
This is the true problem between being sexual and being sexually active at the ages you speak of.
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