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What's wrong with my dad?
I've always known my dad had bad anger issues, but I didn't know it would get this bad. Yesterday I said something mildly negative about a commercial on eggs (which was playing on the TV at that time), and he thought I was saying it to him, and threw random stuff at me. I don't think most people could've misinterpreted what I said, and when I explained to him, he kept screaming at me to shut up. When he argued why he thought it was about him, he was being really hypocritical, and not making any sense. Usually he's a great debater (we've debated on different topics for fun before when I was younger).
Today, because my table was slightly messy, he kept saying I was a piece of trash. Which didn't really affect me because I'm used to his behavior, but it's been continuing from this morning to now. He hasn't been saying anything except for "rubbish, trash" and random outbursts of gibberish for the entire day now. I know it's directed to me, because he's always tried to be nice to my mom and sister.
I've always told my mom he has anger management issues and stuff, and needs help, but every time she responds with "shut up". She always tells me he's fine, even though recently he told me he was suicidal. When I bring it up to my mom, she immediately puts up a wall, and calls me a smartass, and sometimes stuff like "we don't need you, wish you were never born" but I've stopped caring about what they say.
My dad isn't an alcoholic, doesn't smoke, and I doubt he does drugs. He does have alot of stress because he's in a very stressful job, but nobody in my family even brings up the fact he needs help. I don't know what I should do, and I don't understand what's happening to him. Please help?
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Your dad seems to have a lot of problems controlling and effectively dealing with his stress and anger. He lashes out at people when they haven't done anything wrong, or at least haven't done anything to warrant being lashed out at. Nothing he does is your fault.
If you think it's safe to do so, I would recommend finding a time when he's relatively calm and talk to him directly about possibly going to a doctor or talking to a therapist, since your mom isn't willing to discuss it.
If you don't feel safe talking to him about this(ie you think he might try to hurt you or himself if you do), you can't find a time when he would be receptive to the idea, or you've tried that already and it didn't work, there isn't anything you can do for him. In this case, the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself. When he's angry/stressed, avoid him. When he seems to be relaxed, be ready to leave if he gets angry. When you get old enough, get as far away as you can go. He may have issues, but that doesn't mean he gets to take it out on you.
I hope this helps you. I wish you and your dad the best of luck.
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First none of us are doctors so we could not make a diagnoses. Even if we were a diagnosis it is impossible to make one from what little information you have supplied.
To even hazard a guess I would need to know your fathers age and some of his medical history and family medical history. For example does depression run in his family, high blood, pressure, cancer. Are his parents still living if not at what age did the pass away.
Why is this information needed? For one thing it gives clues as to what may be bothering you dad or causing him undue stress. For example if he is reaching the age that his father passed away at he might be stressed about that. He shouldn't be for advances in medical science have been tremendous still it is something that he could be stressed over. The same holds true for your mother.
This is more than an anger management issue for if I am reading you correctly this is something that is more recent in his behavior. What you really need is to try to get him to see his doctor for a complete physical including a screening for depression.
The hard part about this is the younger you are the harder it is going to be for you to him to see his doctor especially if your mother is ignoring the problem. If your father sees his doctor on a regular basis then a call to his doctor with your concerns could be appropriate.
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I'm sorry that you're going through this, it must be very difficult for you. Please know that the stuff he is saying to you is not your fault and has nothing to do with you.
He definitely needs help. You mentioned that his work is very stressful. It is possible that he may be using drugs of some sort to try to get rid of the stress. Side effects can be as you described.
He may be suffering from depression. It doesn't seem like your family is being very open to discussing the issue. Have you tried talking to your dad about it when he's having a "good" day?
My suggestion would be to call your dad's doctor and explain what's happening. The doctor may be able to force your dad to get treatment.
If your dad gets violent with you please call 911. When the police get there explain to them that you are concerned that your father may have a mental health issue and they will take him to a hospital rather than to jail.
Google search "mental health crisis line" for the area you live in. There will be either online or telephone help for family members having to deal with the issues you're going through. Having someone to talk to always helps.
Hope this helps. Please feel free to message me if you need to chat.
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