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Becoming intimate with a guy: I am insecure about my Vagina
So i am 15 Years old, and people in my year have started becoming more sexual. There is a guy i know and like who wants to do more than kissing but i am too insecure about my vagina to do anything. It hangs down alot and im worried he will be grossed out. Help:(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You know what? If you feel insecure, don't do it. You should always listen to your feelings. If it doesn't feel right and you don't 150% want to do it for whatever reason, then don't. I have a girlfriend that had sex before she dealt with her security issues and she is suffering now. She's had sex with a lot of guys that don't care about her, she's never had a boyfriend or gone on a date, and she feels so sad because guys are only interested in her for a one night stand. Don't be that girl. It's hard in school to not have sex or give in. I waited until I was 18 until I lost my virginity and honestly, I wish I waited longer. It was horrible, it hurt and I really wasn't ready. I knew I wasn't but I did it anyway.
I can't stop you from doing whatever you want but if you're not feeling secure and comfortable, even if he's on top of you naked, you ALWAYS have the right and the responsibility to say no.
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I won't lecture you about your age or anything like that, I'm sure you've probably heard it all before. I will say that you shouldn't do anything until you're absolutely, 100% ready and comfortable for it. Don't buy into peer pressure. There's nothing wrong with not becoming more sexual when everyone else is. But, if you do decide that you're ready for the next step, there's nothing to be insecure about. Everyone is different. All vaginas are different. Some are smaller, some larger. Some hang down more, some don't. There is no "normal" when it comes to that. Insecurity happens, though. I still go through it from time to time. But I can pretty much guarantee that if a guy is into you, he's going to have no complaints about how things look down there. And if he does, don't waste your time on him.
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Dont do anything you will regret later.
Dont get pressured. Youre not supposed to show your intimate parts until after you get married.its so much special that way. you will know if a guy loves you or just needs you physically. He wont respect youbelieve me if you get more close. Good luckyou will l be fine in time someone special will deserve you.
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I would advice you wait having sex now will cause u problems in the future so wait..its hard but trust me its better than being told u lost your virginity and no man likes girls who are not virgins when it comes to marriage
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Boys are pretty dense. If HE is lucky enough to see your privates, then he won't be worried how it looks. Don't be afraid to voice your insecurities. If he doesn't make you feel better about them, than you shouldn't get sexual with him.
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I think the real question is... Are you ready to do more than just kissing?... Vaginal worries aside.
If you are and you are really that insecure about the look of your private area, maybe you could speak to a doctor or have counselling.
However if you are not entirely sure or even have slight doubts about this person or having sex then don't do it. because sex is never a thing you want to regret. You are also only 15 and do have time yet. all my friend had, had sex by the time we were all 16. I nearly did. Twice. but i wasn't ready and didn't have the confidence yet. I then lost it at 18 and do not regret it at all.
Oh, and one last word of advice... In order for anyone to love or respect you and your body... You have to do it first..:)
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It sounds like you are concerned about the size of your labia minora (inner lips) or labia majora (outer lips). This is a very common concern- so much so that there's a whole website about it! It's a great site called "Labia Library."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I think you'll find if you look at that site that you're pretty normal!
However, high school boys can be, well, jerks. So make sure the guy you do "more stuff" with is not a jerk and is respectful of you! If he is a good guy he won't care what your vulva looks like. If he's a jerk he's definitely not someone you should be going further with anyway :).
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First of all DO NOT LET A BOY PRESSURE YOU INTO HAVING SEX. If he uses a line such as; "If you love me you will have sex with me." I can tell you for certainty he is not in love with you, he lusts for you.
Boys and girls at your age have a different definition for the word love. While girls definition is much closer to the dictionaries definition; most boys definition of the word is much closer to the word love.
Boys going through puberty are hard wired to have sex. That is all they think about because of the hormones now coursing through them. Hence the word horny. If your boyfriend is pushing you for sex tell him no and if he continues to push you for sex tell him he is sexually harassing you which is a felony even for him at his age.
Once someone boy or girl, man or women says no to sex. If the other person continues to push, beg, or in any manner try to force them to have sex with them, it is sexual harassment or rape. Tell him this that you said no and his continued pushing is unacceptable and if that is all he wants, or that is all you mean to him, he should find someone else.
Now as to your vagina. I'm a lot older than you, in fact I'm old enough to be your grandfather. So a little grandfatherly advice. As you can tell from my writing I am very liberal in my views on sex. You can ask me anything and I will give you and honest answer for I feel it is better you know then you don't know.
You happen to have a vagina that when the time is time is right will give you and the person you make love with a unique form of pleasure. What is hanging down I believe is your labia majora or outer lips of your vagina. When you become sexually excited these will become engorged giving you and your lover a great deal of pleasure. You both during oral sex and intercourse as the engorgement will bring the nerve endings forward. For him for the extra feel on his penis during intercourse and something else to give you pleasure with during foreplay and oral sex.
As a man I can tell you that I have never seen an ugly vagina. In fact I believe I would be correct in stating most of us spend very little time looking at the women's vagina as by the time we can view it we are more interested in doing other things such as fingering, licking and intercourse with it.
So don't be insecure about how your vagina looks. IF your girlfriends knew of the pleasure you will receive when you are ready for sex because of the type of vagina you have. They would be very jealous.
Below is a link to a website I recommend to all girls who want to know if they are ready for sex. I believe you may find this interesting as well.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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First of all, don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Worry about yourself. If you don't feel ready, don't do anything you aren't ready for. Especially because everyone else is doing it. And if the guy is pressuring you, tell him to kick the bucket. Hard. And as a girl who has happened to have had sexual experiences with other girls I can tell you, you probably are thinking too much into your vagina's appearance. It's easy to be a bit insecure about that area. But just like everything else private parts come in varieties and when you do finally feel ready I'm sure the other person involved won't be judging.
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