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So I like this girl...
17F
So I like this girl from work. She is just a very refreshing person to talk to and be around, not to mention I think she's incredibly beautiful. It started off with pure infatuation but has calmed down a bit. So I have a couple questions I need answered.
1. She is 21 and I am 17, is that too much of an age difference? I turn 18 in August
2. She agreed to go to prom with me as a "friend" but she already had her prom so is there something more there? She seems into it. Already got her dress, wants to go pick out corsages...
3. Should I make a move? I already told her how I felt and she said on occasions she felt a little more for me than just a friend but isn't sure if she could be in a romantic relationships with a girl (she has hooked up with girls only) I was thinking maybe if I take her on a date, it could open up her mind
Any other comments, just make them :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1. Be smart about sleeping together and know the age of consent wherever you are from. Aside from that, a couple years difference isn't a big deal.
2. There could be something more there. Don't put too much pressure on the night and see how it goes.
3. I would try to ask her on a date to talk about prom, and shop together. The best dates are small fun things that you do with your friends. Aside from that, she's going on a "date" with you to prom, so there is nothing wrong with getting together before then!
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1. Age difference is not a problem, as long as you aren't having sex/doing sexual stuff until you're 18, or whatever the legal age of consent is in your country.
2. This doesn't prove anything definitively. She could be totally into you or is just willing to go with you as a friend. Best to take what she said at face value and see where it goes from there.
3. If she's not sure she's down for a romantic relationship with a girl, then y'all need to talk it out. Tell her you're into her. Ask her if she wants to go on a date, or not, or if she wants to wait while she figures things out. If she says yes, great! If she says no, try and move on. If she wants to figure things out, be patient, and then act on whichever answer you get as described above.
I wish both off you the best of luck
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Generally speaking a difference in age is just a number. For example my mother in-law was 5 years older than my father in-law. Yes she was teased a bit when they first married about robbing the cradle but it was good natured.
In your case depending on the age of consent in your state there could be legal complications if you two were more than just friends. These complications evaporate when you turn 18 as you are then legally an adult. Until then in the eyes of the laws of your state she could be charged with any number of different violations of the law because of your difference in age.
She very well could be into you as more than just a friend. But given the laws of your state she can only be your friend until you turn 18. This may be why she has agreed only to go to the Prom with you AS YOUR FRIEND.
Then of course there is the lesbian aspects of the relationship you are asking her for. If she is unsure of her sexuality this too could be causing her to hold back. For girls in college to be bi or keep their sexual life mostly or entirely to their same sex is not uncommon. After they are done with college most return to heterosexual sex or possibly being bi.
The reason for this is lesbian sex is easy to come by and it is safe. It is also a means to an end meaning it brings the sexual relief they need and desire as well as loving companionship without the worries of pregnancy.
There may be a lot more here than just your age difference. I would give her some time to figure out who she is sexually while the age difference becomes no longer a legal problem in August when you turn 18.
If this relationship you are looking for is meant to be; then the short wait be worth your patience.
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The age difference shouldn't matter if you're about the same maturity level. Some college agers are more still like highschoolers in maturity and some highschoolers are more mature like college age people.
Is there something more to her getting a dress and going to prom with you? I don't know. You have to ask her. Same problem I see with young people whether same sex or heterosexual couples, one is always guessing what the other person meant and asking us to interpret what the other person is 'thinking, feeling, what they really meant'. We're just advice givers, not psychics...lol
Should you make a move? I think you already did by telling her how you felt. Since she said she isn't sure. And you want her to be sure about her feelings whether she is interested in you for hooking up or not, what would you need to ask her?
I'd say it would be asking her what she will need to be sure. At her age, she is still exploring and its very likely she isn't sure of what she wants yet. And the way to find out is by exploring without making any solid commitment to one person yet and toward labeling oneself sexually. She may be straight and bi curious, or bi sexual or lesbian. She will not know until she has given all options a try. So I see no reason why you can't spend time together on dates.
I am guessing here by your choice of words but it sounds like she has only had sex with girls for sex sake and not been in a dating relationship with any. If thats where she is currently at and she can't give more because she isn't ready to explore more, then don't pressure her. Some bi women are able to be sexual with many women, and for others, it only happens with one where they have the romantic relationship but also have a romantic one with a man. Its for her to figure out for herself without pressure. If you dont pressure her for any kind of commitment off the bat, I'm sure she'll be more open.
I've known several bi women who didn't make the discovery about themselves until they were married several years. Going from straight in a marriage to discovery they're bi and acting on it with hubbys full support is an amazing thing to see. Not all people figure this kind of thing out yet at this age. >Good luck!
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