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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I started college and these months I developed a friendship with a classmate who's really different than me.I'm gay, he supposedly straight, and hates gay people? but we're friends, I mean. The thing is we're getting closer and closer but I don't know what's going on between us, everything so contradictory. He's really insecure and doesn't like to show his feelings. I'm going crazy because I think maybe it's all in my head. But if it is in my head then why he never complains when I say that I love him and I send him hearts and kisses and stuff, even though he always telling their mates how he hates gay people, even though I'm out to everyone. I don't know what to believe. He tries to be with me every time we have on campus. We do everything together and I don't know what else he wants, I asked him what are we but he never replies, I tell him I love him but never replies. It's weird. What do you folks think?
Adviceman is right, if you don't see him hanging out with or dating girls, he may not be sexually interested in females.
It could be his upbringing. He may have heard how its evil or bad to be gay and if he has religious parents, he may not be willing even as an adult to acknowledge his feelings and the way he is simply because of what has been drilled into him. He may fear going to Hell for being gay If he begins a gay relationship. As long as he stays neutral and doesnt respond even though he knows he feels that way, to his thinking he feels safe as far as getting into Heaven.
Sometimes its not even how one is brought up and what is expected by parents but what they picked up from society. He may at a young age decided for himself that being gay is wrong and the fact that he is means he will not come open with it or acknowledge it in anyway hoping that at some point it will go away, which it never will. My husband just talked to a person the other day in a chat room online who lamented the fact that they were now in their 70s and had forced themselves to play the heterosexual part with marriage and kids all their life and now that they are on their on, feeling too old to even try to experience and live their life as the gay person they had always repressed. Its sad. He may end up one of those but as was said, no one can pressure them to be ready to accept their sexuality. Their mind says one thing, their heart and subconscious another and so they may fight their self for a long time. All you can do is continue to be a good friend and let him know your feelings and continue to live your life out in the open. Just because society is more open abut it and accepting in some ways doesnt mean he will be able to accept himself this way. If he pushed himself for your sake, the feelings of guilt or self hatred could be so great he gets really depressed or even worse. What an awful spot for you to be in. YOu may not want to wait for him forever, but then again, perhaps you do. But you just won't have the kind of value to the relationship that you hope for and response and love back from him.
I met this guy at few months ago and the next morning he texted me, saying that he wanted to get dinner. So the next friday I invited him to my house which was empty because the rest of my family was out of town. After that we kept talking and hung out at my house one night and we did homework. However, he began being very unresponsive in texts so I assumed he was't interested in me, but he'll occasionally message me saying he wants to hang out soon, but never really making any plans. Like he'll text me late at night saying he's free then and I don't know what to do because I do kind of like him but I don't want to be lead off if he isn't actually interested. From your point of view does it seem like he actually likes me or is he just messing around. Because I think if he was completely uninterested then he wouldn't message me at all.
If he's unresponsive in texts, trying phone calls and see what happens. People can get too distracted by whats happening around them and tasks to be done to respond to texts readily or even remember later to check and respond. If you really want to ask him to spend some time with you, just call and ask. If he texts you inviting you somewhere, you might try responding with a call. Let him know you have another choice of what to do that night, a girl friend asked but you'd prefer to spend time with him. Ask him if thats a for sure date with him or a maybe because if he might change his mind or something comes up, you want the courtesy of knowing so you can get together with the friend. He doesnt have to know its a fake option for you. But You do give the hint this way that you prefer to spend time with him and it sets an example of how he should respond in return.
You are correct in thinking if he was completely uninterrested he wouldn't contact you at all. While he might be shy, he is making the first effort, something shy people don't tend to do, I know cus I used to be shy or call it extreme social anxiety and I know I would never have made the first move in any kind of friendship, others had to make the first invite.
However....his interest may not equal the kind of interest you are thinking of or hoping for. If you want a commited bf/gf relationship, that may not be what he is after. A guy who is interested at that level with romantic interest included is going to have better contact with a girl. It is often more enjoyable for social reasons if you prefer friends of the opposite sex to find someone you like as a friend to go out with. He may prefer women friends over males and just wants someone he enjoys at friendship level to spend time hanging out doing stuff with as you would with a girlfriend. So this does not mean he is messing around with you and leading you on or trying to be confusing. It may be his only intent and he probably doesnt feel he needs to clarify that is what is going on for him thinking wise. If you have questions about him or his actions, you and he need to have better communication between yourselves so no one is left guessing. What helps is placing yourself in the other persons shoes and asking, if I were them, would I assume things or understand perfectly based on what I did or didn't say and do. He needs to do the same and I would ask that of him. Its not a bad thing to ask of someone who is a friend or something more. LEt him know how his actions come across to you. It may not be like that with his family or close buddies so he assumes you're the same. Teach him what you need to hear and how much info you need before you can be on the same page as him in k nowing where you both stand. When dating after a divorce, I had a list of what I must have, criteria a guy had to meet to be in relationship with me. So if he asked me on a 2d or 3rd date, thats when I went over what I was looking for in a romantic partner. If just a friendship, no benefits, then if I liked him enough for that I let him know but they all knew up front what I was looking for at that time so if they couldnt give it or were willing to, then that was as far as we went and parted ways. You might try deciding what qualities you are looking for and keep refining your list as you experience things you don't like.
We break up 15 October he is the one asked but I still love him(I'm crazy about him I wish we can back up......after that I fall in love again but my BFF take him away from me... ->_
Some people need a person or an image or face to focus on in their minds to help in masturbation. This is especially true more often for men than women although females do the same, just don't realize it. As for thinking about a crush or an ex one isn't over yet, thats natural, especially if you haven't healed yet. In time, when you meet a new love who is so much more and better than you could have ever imagined meeting, then the ex will pale in comparison and you no longer will find a need to think that person when masturbating. The reason this is so normal is that the mind is actually our most important sex organ. Its those memories of a person or even a sexy episode on a tv show or in a romance story that we think about as we masturbate that gets us excited more easily, the kind of excitement in some cases that is just as special as having a lover in your arms cus your mind is now contributing that enjoyment. Some people I have heard, even with men, can't masturbate to photos or porn because its not a person they really know or at least they have a preferance for thinking of their sweetie or a past one or even some random live female they see at Starbucks or whereever regularly whose image they focus on when they masturbate cus it helps. Its all normal. Just keep on enjoying it, theres nothing you need to do.
I got a venus fly trap from Josh's Frogs, and it doesn't say in the instructions and information packets that come with it what it is and I can't find any information regarding it on their website. It's a white packet, about as long as my hand, and it has black stuff in it. My mom thinks it might be ground up flies to feed it and my sister thinks it's probably soil, but it's very dry and hard. The individual pieces of it are very tiny. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to try to feed it to my plant and kill it. Anybody know what it might be?
If Joes Frogs is a plant nursery, call and ask them or call a local nursery and ask. I bought one decades ago as a teen and it didnt come with anything, just the plant in the pot. Personally, I wouldn't feed it anything, just let it catch it's own flies. Until the season of more house flies being about arrives, It should survive quite a while on just getting water. Make sure it gets the right amount, not too much or too little as either way can be worse and kill a plant if it can't handle one of those extremes.
I have never had a real argument with my best friend, and I've been friends with her for more than 12 years. People say that if you don't argue with your best friend, it means you don't have a great relationship. Is that true?
Oh, and to clarify, by "real" argument I mean about anything important. We mostly only argue about silly things like the price of cheese or who will pick the game(neither of us ever wants to choose...its always like "you pick" "No you pick")
Anyways, yeah, does that mean that we aren't actually that great of friends? where did that advice come from anyways?
What is a truth for one person isn't likely to be a truth for everyone, only some people. My ex and I were a mismatch and I was abused as well so there was fighting or I learned to withdraw and not respond to any attempts of his to start a fight which made him even angrier. However with my wonderful husband of 6 yrs now, we do not fight. But we do have disagreements and the working out of that in conversation which sounds much like the little you gave as an example. It can be over something of importance like my asking, "HOn, when the last time you checked the oil in this car" asked because it made a funny sound."He says, "I've been watching the miles and theres no need for an oil change." "But remember last oil change they said to check the oil cus we have a very slow leak." I remind him, "No, I'd know if there's something wrong he says. "I still think you should check or we take it somewhere cus I don't know how to check on this car, just my last car." "Its okay Hon. Don't worry." So I drop it for the day only to bring it up again a day or two later. And the same back and forth. I remind him that its our only tranportation, and also our home since we're homeless for the time being so we need it to be running and we can't be careless." My point finally gets through and he checks and we were dangerously low, almost no oil left. In this exchange, some would call it fighting, but I dont see it as that. It was done still on a healthy basis, not demeaning each other, yelling, using anger, throwing things, withholding love or sex, no name calling, no ultimatums, etc. That is what I classify as a true fight. The rest is the normal not seeing eye to eye at any particular point or even as you mention, its even very trivial stuff for you. Yes, I can see it possible. Its not the normal experience for most people because their close friends and mates are not the most perfect match for them and also mature at the same time and wise. It takes all that to have relationships where there isn't the kind of angry fighting that most people think of when they hear the word 'fight'.
Hi, I am 23/f and I have a three year old teacup yorkie. I personally don't like being licked by dogs, but when I hold Mitzi (my yorkie) and see if she will
Lick me, she will do maybe two licks and that is it.
But when my fiancé comes over, she will
Lick his face for hours if he would let her, same with my
Mother. Why won't my dog do that to me?
So if its not a Male or female preferance that animals often have in humans, then that leaves only one thing. I realize you may not believe this, but I believe animals can pick up on thoughts or at least the pictures in your mind that accompany your thoughts so they are somewhat telepathic. Yes, they do learn certain words from you and body language as having meanings and will respond appropriately.
In your mind and subconscious is still your personal taste of not liking being licked by dogs. I would say she has picked up on this and is respecting it by not licking you much as in only giving a lick or two to show affection. Until your feelings about dogs in general change, she is not going to change because of what she picks up from you. By time it may be such a habit that Mitzi won't do differently no matter what. You trying to force her to lick you constantly, like exposing your hand to her face over and over may only confuse or irritate her. Perhaps a few animals can rationalize as humans do, but I dont think generally that all can. So it would be hard to teach her that its okay for her to lick you as much as she wants but no other dog can. Exceptions to the rule is often too complicated for pets to pick up and only confuses them as well as a humans, hurt or anger when they fail to understand that exception. Just look for other ways that she shows how much she loves you. If not sure, get a book about the breed and how they relate to their humans to know what to look for.
I would like to start off by saying that I love my little sister. I would do anything for her. That being said, I get really irritated around her and don't like spending time together. I am especially ashamed of my feelings because we have a large age gap; she's 4, and I'm 19 - and I feel that someone who is basically an adult should be more tolerant of a toddler, especially when that toddler is their own sister.
Although I am away at college for most of the year, when I am at home (my parent's house), I want very little to do with my sister. She cries and screams frequently (over the smallest of things) and it drives me crazy. She's very anxious/nervous and fearful of trying new things, and it bothers me the way my parents never push her out of her comfort zone. She constantly demands attention, and if my parents and I are having a conversation, she asks us to talk to her and insists on being included. If she's misbehaving and my parents try to talk to her and explain that she can't do X or Y, she just laughs and thinks it's a big joke, even if she drives my mom to the point of yelling. It makes me really angry. Even when my sister isn't doing anything wrong - she just wants to ask me a question or sit next to me - I get far too irritated.
I feel like my parents are far too passive about her bad behavior, therefore encouraging it. It really adds to my frustration. My parents say she's just a typical kid, albeit a little more anxious and sensitive than most, and she does well in school, so they're not really worried.
I feel awful saying all of this about my little sister. I really do love her. How can I be less irritated around her and improve our relationship?
As you said, you are an adult and she is a child so even though sisters, until she becomes an adult also someday, this period of time will not feel like a sister relationship and enjoying her as a sister.
What you are feeling is the same thing you'd feel if lets say you go to visit a girlfriend who is in her early twenties and has a toddler whom she doesnt discipline, who gets to interrupt and run the show. You came to see your friend but the childs behavior dictates how much quality time you get with the other adult. Same is happening here so I see it as no wonder that you feel irritated.
Its very possible that somewhere along the line, your parents got tired of the raising and teaching and disciplining process of having children and went lax with her. As their child, you can't tell them to work better with her, but you can do so. I have found that kids who wont behave for their parents will follow the house rules at others homes or with other people in their own home if that person consistantly expects and demands it of them and teaches them the rules. You'll need to be patient but at 4 she is intelligent enough to respect the following suggestions I will make.
I can't remember where I was taught as a parent to teach the interrupt rule but this is a good one.
You tell the child that when you are speaking to anyone, adult or not in conversation, and they want to tell you something, that they have to wait but they can put their hand on your arm without saying a word and when you feel that hand, you will only finish your sentence, thought or story and then turn to her and tell her its her turn to talk. It takes some training and for all you know, your mom may decide to do the same. Its simple. But at first, the child forgets. My granddaughter was doing this at age 2 and only forgot sometimes, at which point I'd take her hand, place it on my arm and remind her this is the way to let me know she wants to talk to me and to wait now until I am done. Then even If I lost my train of thought, I'd say something to the other person and make her wait so she got the jist of how this works again.
Another thing you could try is giving a certain amount of your time to her first when you arrive, letting her know this is her special time with her sister, maybe reading a story, being her personal jungle gym on the floor, bringing some toy from the dollar store to use to play with her with. Once you are done, you let her know that now its your time to talk with Mom. Mom was patient and waited to talk to you until you were done giving time to her. Now its her turn to not interrupt and let you have time with Mom. If she keeps begging for more and more time than you have to give or are willing to give, then use a kitchen timer, set the amount of time you'll spend with her and when it goes ding, she'll know it's time for play with her to stop and you to have time with Mom. If she takes to her usual crying and screaming to get her way, which by the way indicates shes been spoiled, is bored and hasn't been taught how to occupy herself at all, therefore needing constant input from others, you can try talking to her. In the beginning, it may ruin your plans for the day or the time period but it is very effective training for her. You cant just threaten without enforcing.
You ask her to stop crying and listen to you. When she does, you tell her that you would like to stay for a while but you won't if she cries and throws a fit. You let her know you'd like to enjoy some time with her but also with Mom and will split your time between the two of them. If she cries and throws a fit, you'll only remind her once to stop and if she doesn't then you will leave and she wont get to play with you and your Mom won't get to spend time with you. Then Mom will be sad too. If it comes to the point of going thru on your threat, do it even if its just to leave for a half hour to go run errands and then come back. You make sure she heres you say that you are leaving because she wouldn't control herself and stop crying. Once in a while if a child is tired or not feeling well, its understandable they can't control being fussy but all the time, then its a learned thing. Over time, she will follow your wishes and rules but unless Mom picks up on them and enforces them the same way, you'll see your sister still disrespect Mom and interrupt her or cry for her attention. So Im saying its possible she will put her hand on your arm to get your attention without speaking as a sign she wants to tell you something, but may not do the same with your Mom. Kids are very good about learning to follow a particular persons rules. My own granddaughter followed my rules and her daddys rules during her toddler years, as my daughter was too lax with her. Now you may not enjoy or get anything out of spending some time playing with her first but thats what comes with this kind of age difference. Don't let guilt and shame hang around or it will cripple your efforts to make this work.
17/Female
I'll start from the beginning of this.
A few months ago I started making new friends, and talking to two guys who are both friends with each other already. I started talking to Guy 1 through text, and we hit it off pretty well, talking about our interests and having fun making jokes, talking nonstop, although we are both kinda awkward individuals in person, and has a hard time with other subjects out of that, but after while we started to like each other, slowly telling him about some issues I have within myself, to which he just listens, to which I can appreciate. Now, going back, Guy 2 and me first started talking he was mostly helping me vent and give me advice, and listening to my problems, to which I told him so many things, I don't know why I trusted him so quickly after some brief conversations at school. Our friendship built from that, we pretty much know many things about each other, and contrary to Guy 1, is better with his words, and not awkward all that much. Now, Guy 1 and myself have been sort of flirting and know about each others feelings while Guy 2 has just told me their feelings which I had already guessed he did; I just didn't want things to get complicated, because I had questioned before "Did I go for the wrong guy?" But just thought Guy 2 liking me wasn't possible. Now, I'm confused as both guys are great, and I get along with both of them, just in different ways. Guy 1 I can be happy and laugh a lot by our jokes and interests, and he brightens my mood at the end of our conversations but sometimes they can be one sided or awkward and he doesn't know how to respond out of "okay", " alright", etc. while Guy 2 I can't help but be honest with him, and have conversations that are based on emotions and still have fun improvised comedy, after our conversations I guess I feel relief, and contentment, if not sometimes a little depressing, because of the conversation topics we've all hit across the board, but we never seem to get awkward or just come to just saying "okay", we always have full conversations, if not sometimes I can be a bit spacey.
Anyways, I have no idea what to do here, and things would get complicated if I started going for guy 2, as well, me and guy 1 have been kind of already kind of close in respects to romance, just by simple hugs and flirting but honestly, I'm just rather confused. Any help is appreciated, and thank you for reading this lengthy story/question.
Hi Hon. I will answer the best I can out of my own experiences in such cases, although realize I dont know these guys other than how you have described them. Guy 1 sounds like he could possibly be a more shy person or at least one of those who is generally more a private person and one of few words if not shy.
Since you seem to be enjoying convo more with guy 2 and it flows rather than becoming awkward, I would venture to guess you are much the same, social, outgoing, talkative, and willing to be an open book with someone who shows they really care to listen and have appropriate responses to make. If that is what you need, then this is your first opportunity to learn to choose a guy for a relationship based on some things, that he is the best one for meeting your needs, you are the best one for meeting his needs in a friend and of course, you both act as best friends towards each other and there is that little bit of attraction and sizzle in the background that promise a romantic relationship if the two of you decided to go that way. Every female should mind these things even the adult ones. I married at 20 before I had learned anything and it was a big mistake and I stayed 30 years but was learning things along the way. Once divorced, I had a better idea of what to look for in a man and am now happily remarried 6 yrs.
I personally wouldn't count on just flirting including hugs and arm around the shoulder, hand holding as a sign of there being the best match for a relationship. Why? After I was divorced, I dated alot and met so many men who flirted and touched me that way and were in no way a good match for me at all. Flirting is important tho but I see it as the vehicle for me that led from becoming the best of friends with my current husband, that led to us becoming sexual together because in the flirting and kisses, there was the sizzle and romance. Its not always evident right at the start with a guy and wasn't present at first with the 2nd husband, but feeling very comfortable with him, feeling like we'd been friends for a lifetime from the first moment we met was just as important. Remember this for your future relationships as well cus HS romance lasting a lifetime is possible but very seldom so its more likely that neither guy will end up being the one you marry and have kids with someday. However, thats no reason to not enjoy and experience a relationship to the fullest right now. Its part of the learning experience. So keep in mind that there isn't always an instant heart flipping reaction with a person to fall in love at first sight or early on. Some relationships start as a small ember hidden under the ashes of frienship and continue to slowly grow until they become as great a blazing fire as the one you felt at first sight.
My personal opinion based only on what you have shared is that guy 2 sounds more like a match for you than number 1. If you have feelings of guilt in making a choice to pick between one and the other, keep in mind and also mention to both of them that hanging out and dating are only periods of time used as discovery periods to learn more about the persons to decide whether to continue on with one or not with the goal of making some kind of commitment to each other even if it is just to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Since lots of your friendship is through text only, if not ready to decide, see how you do with each when you spend time face to face alone with each hanging out. That's a better way to find out if you have the most in commom with a guy. I say that cus one man was able to talk endlessly online in chat and flirt but when we met first time at a coffee shop, I couldn't get any convo out of him, if I asked him questions, he'd either nod yes, shake head no or shrug his shoulders and spoke not a word. That was worse than awkward, downright painful!! LOL, so get used to at least half the time spent in person to see how you really do together with each before you decide. Hope this helps. If you have any other specific questions that come up along the way, you can always write to me again.
Hello! I am a 17 year old girl who has no idea what to think about this 19 year old boy I'm talking to. I started talking to him over the summer, and we only hung out twice. We texted a lot when I left the area because I was only staying there for a summer program for school. We texted a lot at first, but it started to die off. He invited me to go to a few parties he was having, but they were always late at night, and my parents didn't want me driving 45 minutes to a party that late. The one time I actually drove up to go to one (I'm surprised my parents even gave me permission) he wouldn't answer my calls or texts so I was alone in a different city at midnight with nowhere to go. I eventually just drove back home, and he texted me right when I got on the highway asking why I wasn't there and if I could sneak out. I tried going up there two more times, but he never answered my texts so I didn't even bother actually driving up there. He has never once offered to drive to see me or even meet me halfway. When we text it takes him hours to respond even though I respond fairly quick. Recently he asked if there was any possible way I could drive up and stay the night. Keep in mind he is a college student who lives with other men. He wants me to lie to my parents so I could stay the night with him, and he brought up doing sexual activities. I'm still a virgin, and I've never done anything but kissed three people (him included). When we were texting about me coming over for a night he responded extremely fast, and he was texting more than he usually does. He was also sweeter than he normally is telling me things about how if he took my virginity he would be attached and never would want me to leave. I know he's only trying to get in my pants, but I'm desperately trying to see the good in him. Is it worth it to salvage whatever we have or should I just cut my losses and cut it off? We've been texting on and off for 5-6 months, and he was so sweet when we first met. Is there any possibility that he cares for me or is it all an act to sleep with me and then end it? Thanks for your help! I'm a little naive, and I would appreciate any feedback/advice at all. :)
P.S. I've asked this question already, but I saw your answers, and I would love to see your take on my situation! Thank you so much. :)
First, I want to mention texting or phone calls and how even if one person recieves contact and responds right away that the other may not have their call or text passed on by phone co. and register in their phone. I've had that problem with contacting my sister before Holidays but was able to get thru to her husband. My own husband never recieives texts and calls from me, they show up later as a missed call even tho we test in same room and his phone never rings. I don't know if it means an over load of more cell phone users than towers to transmit or what but I used to not have the problem. Occasional calls do go through but seldom so your guy responding that once may be a fluke or he may not be interested in really hanging out and really liking all of you, just wanting sex.
What I will say about hanging out or dating is that both are a way to get to know the other person better to see if they are someone you want to continue to move on further in relationship with or not. Its a discovery period and not a commitment at all to being bf/gf. But too many see it that way and thats where the trouble and misunderstandings come in.
So my opinion is that hanging out twice is only enough time to become attracted to what you see and pick up on at a surface level only. It is not enough to know what that person is really like deeper down. Now as you've spent time texting him, you've gotten a chance to learn a bit more about him, you should be picking up on more things about him.
My observations: Obviously right after meeting you this summer, there was no problem with texting. Same for me, there used to be no problem calling my husband but there is now. So either he is ignoring your calls unless you text you want to stay the night and have sex, or he isn't getting the calls. I can't say which it is so you might do an experiment. Ask if any of his roommates have the same phone service as he does and ask for the phone number of a roommate to call them as soon as you hang up with him to see if your calls are going thru as you've been having trouble lately with people not recieving your calls. You dont need to mention that its him not answering calls. If at the same time of day/night, with same calling service, the call is recieved by his roommate or even do this with a friend of yours who uses same phone service as him. If the other test person gets the call just fine right after you hanging up on a call with him, then its not a problem with calls not going through and showing up much later but him deciding to not answer.
If you want to make a decision to continue a relationship with him and trust him based only on him choosing to acknowledge your texts and keep in touch, thats your choice.
However its not a solid one by itself as there is so much other stuff to look at that can give you clues as to his character and whether its the sort of male you even want to spend any time with in a relationship.
For example, he seems to be only inviting you to partys late at night, not to do other things like go for walks on a weekend at a park, go out to dinner, dates where you can spend time sharing things about yourself and your past background, the kind of stuff that eventually two married people know about each other. Right now, you are going thru something all teen girls go thru, the excitement of a male paying attention to her. But there is good attention, true interest and seemingly good attention covering up only wanting to use her. Sexual activities is all well and good, however remember you are not 18 yet and I know its just a year but the law had to set a limit. You are under age and he is over so any sexual activity from him with you would be breaking the law and considered rape or taking advantage of a minor. I dont care how grown up you are or how mature you feel, its best not to mix with any guys sexually at your age if they are older than you. I would think you are not ready yet as you want to be with someone the first time that you have deep feelings for and him for you in return. As I have said before and adviceman too, sex without the love felt towards the other on both accounts, means it is nothing more than fucking, or sex for self gratification, not caring about whether the other person is happy. Only when both people have a strong friendship bond, are in love with each other, then sex is a way of showing that love and its calling making love for that reason, its done out of love, wanting ones partner to be pleased, not caring if you get satisfied that night or not as your turn will come another time if not the same night. That is ultimately what every female wants and not all have. If you wait until you find a guy like that, you'll have less regrets. None of my daughters had sex until at least a year or two after graduating HS. Once graduated, they began looking seriously for men they were able to get into a real wonderful relationship with before having sex with them. Learn from the mistakes of a past relationship and choose the next guy based on him being a step or several steps better than the last one.
So if you are curious and just want to finally experience sex with a partner, do I think he's a good candidate? No. He asked you so early on, after only 2 times hanging out and just some texts that its more likely impossible for both of you to be at the point of being each others best friend and also being in love.
if on the other hand, you just want sex for sex experience sake and a poor experience at that, then go ahead and continue with him cus my impression is that all he wants is gettin into your pants. A guy will lie through his teeth to get that and his line of how he'd be attached to you because of sex is bullshit. That's how females tend to operates, letting their emotions rule and sex is an emotional thing for them so many believe them self to be in love with a guy even if the sex is poor and the guy mistreats her just because sex is in the picture. Males don't need sex to fall in love and have those emotional ties with a females, it is a very important ingredient in a relationship for them but it doesn't often lead to a love bond, especially with the younger guys not ready to make that kind of commitment or a life long commitment.
And now a compliment to you, that I wouldn't consider you naive, just inexperienced which all of us are at that age. Your womans intuition is working really well in that you already were questioning the guys intentions. But you show wisdom in reaching out to ask for advice. I think in time if you continue to be wise and rely on your womans intuition, you will find a guy who is worthy of you.
I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.
He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.
I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.
He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.
He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.
Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...
Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...
Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..
I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance?
Found that you sent this to my inbox. I already saw and answered it in the postings for whole group. So go back and look. In short, I said that I was sure he liked you, a guy has to, to seek out a girl to talk specifically to her. As to whether just as a friend or hoping for more, one never can tell at this stage as it takes hanging out together more to find out how much you like each other.
So you need to approach him and ask if he'd like to sit with you at lunch, if you ride the same bus, sit with you there, or hang out at a pizza place. Whether hanging out or dating, both mean same thing, its a period of time one uses to get to know more about a person to see if you still like them or have discovered things that make you no longer like them in that way and if so, you tell them you're moving on. Hanging out and dating are Not a commitment to be a couple, its a discovery period before committing to be bf/gf, or engaged or married. So dont let talking to him be such a scary thing, its only learning more about him by doing lots of talking and spending time together.
My friend likes a guy that broke my heart and he likes her back. I'm not sure if I totally moved on. What do I tell her?
I understand the asking for permission part to date a guy who just broke up with you but my opinion is there is a time limit on that. If its a fresh breakup up in the last couple weeks, okay, a girl should ask her friend if its okay. However if its been a few months with no sign of the two of your reconciling and getting back together, then he is single, available and she should be able to make a move on the guy if she likes him, or him make a move for her. Your emotions and heart break and feeling of not being over him should not hold back and or dictate whether any two people get together just because you are not ready yet and haven't moved on. That is something that needs to happen inside you and will take time. Your moving on time period will always be something that takes time and if two people are better suited for each other, they should not have to wait until you feel over it. Some gals pine for a guy for years and it would be unfair to have to wait for years until the girl with the broken heart finally says, Okay, I can give you the green light to go after him now. Thats not how it works in real life honey. So my advice is to not say anything. Its a crush and crushes don't last forever. From middle school until we marry, we date many many different guys because we need to do so, to learn what we really like and want in a relationship. Most certainly you don't want your next relationship to be with a guy who didn't care about you as deeply as you did him. How will you know if its true love. These things you learn by experience and that experience isn't long term with one person only, but with multiple dating experiences in your life and many times feeling you're in love with different guys each time. The thing to remember is to look for the things you did like about the last guy to find them in the next, and to avoid the things you didn't like about your last sweetie in the next guy. This means each relationship should be a step better than the last, always improving on the type of guy you're in relationship with. Theres no way to avoid the heart ache and pain of one not working out but its a necessary part of life. If you close up your heart to avoid getting hurt in the future which you most likely will, then your heart will be protected but unable to receive and benefit from the love of people who do care about you, family included, not just the new love interest. So icky as it is, this is a natural process. Give yourself time to heal, don't discourage your friend and don't say anything. Now if for some reason they do get together and want to go out somewhere as a group to do something and you're invited, if you are not yet over him and it would hurt to see him pay attention to your friend, thats the only time you need to say something, its based on the current situation. You tell her that you're not over the hurt yet and it would bother you to see him with her so its not her you want to avoid, shes still your friend and you're happy its working for her but you choose to not hang near her when he's around her. If she's a good friend, she'll understand. Good luck.
So this girl I've been friends with since 6th grade, so only a year (I'm a 12 year old female) we are both in 7th grade. Not long, but we've become close. She has acted a little "I like you" around me. So in Gym we were playing basketball with some other friends. So my team which was me, her, M (I'm calling people by the first letter of their name) and M #2 who got hit in the head and was at the nurse with M #3 from the other team. Long story short, A asked if we wanted to switch teams. A #2 (the girl mentioned at the beggining) automatically said,"I want M (me) on my team!" And took my hand. Gently...I held it because I didn't want to hurt her feelings...I am attracted to girls, but there is this other girl I like. Even after it was decided we'd remain on the same team she held it. Idk it's weird. This is special to me because it's the first time someone took my hand. I see her as a friend but it felt good. The girl I like has kind of moved closer to me when we were working on science, we were kind of acting romantic with each other. Two other girls I'm friends with have done similar things! Hey they all want me ;). But I only want one and she's expressed the least interest in me. I'll rank them:
1. A
2. I
3. T
4. H
Do you think she likes me?
It sure sounds like she likes you romantically. For me, I don't have to have romantic feelings to 'like a person'. I'm straight so when I used the term that I liked certain girls, it meant that I liked their personalities and they liked mine and we had enough in common to become friends. I have never been friends with someone I don't like. And even in a romantic relationship, couples of any sort and including marriages, need to be best of friends first. But I want to clarify its not enough for romantic love. People have something invisible called pheremones that our subconsciouses pick up on and many don't believe it is that important but I beg to differ. Lets put it this way. Since you believe yourself to be attracted to females, lets say pheremones is that wonderful exciting feeling and wanting more from a kiss of someone with similar pheremones to you. When pheremones differ too much, neither will be attracted to each other or only one will be attracted romantically. What this feels like is romantic kissing of your mom or aunt. It would feel disgusting, turn you off and you want to back away from it. I have been kissed by men whom it felt like I was romantically kissed by a brother or father so instead of feeling good it was repulsive. At your age, some of you may be correct and remain gay your life, others may explore more and discover yourself to be bi sexual, capable of being attracted to just one man whom you marry and have lots of female lovers on the side. I have actually met quite a few women just like that and it worked and their husbands knew ahead and supported this part of her. You are only just starting to explore your sexuality. You don't need to have it all figured out yet and be a pro at relationships instantly. As far as sex goes, it can be a lifetime of learning experiences and new discoveries. I have not yet stopped experiencing new things sexually and I am in my fifties. So enjoy the girls where both of you are attracted enough to each other to make it work and don't force it or push for the others constantly as that would be like sexual harassment. It doesnt have to be just unwanted attentions from a male to a female.
If you want my opinion on A, I'd say she is a bit afraid to acknowledge any feelings she has toward you as far as romantically inclined but her hidden desires will surface and cause her to take actions and say things that reveal what her conscious mind isn't ready to accept. There is no reason to force her to come to grips with this yet. But if you enjoy her most, allow her to set the pace and accept what she offers even if she calls it only friendship but to you feels more like a romantically involved couple. At 12, she shouldn't have to declare she is strictly gay or bi. And you shouldn't demand that of her either. Part of any hesitnacy coould be the scariness of new territory, or sex isn't spoken of in her home and she was raised to avoid the topic of sex or thiinking about it, or parents could be highly religious and believe anything other than monogamy between a man and woman is a sin and that is something she wont feel free to explore in any of those cases until she is older and more likely an adult at 18 where her decisions are now her own and the parents can't make her life miserable if she was caught doing innocent stuff like holding hands with you a lot at her house. The parents won't see that sa fitting what they accept as normal if they are closed minded. So just go with the flow and enjoy whatever type of relationship you get with her and forget about labeling it.
Hi,
My name is Tyler and I have a friend by the name of Cameron. We've went through so much pain forsaken events between each other such as fighting with each other, cussing at each other, upsetting each other, and more. He claims he's straight but I just don't see it but yet again I've never seen him in a relationship with a guy. Anyways, so it's around Christmas now and tomorrow is Christmas Eve so I don't expect to have this answered before Christmas Day but he told me personally in a private text message that he had depression and that he was just being mean to everyone/thing because he had such a thing. He recently graduated from my high school this past June and I didn't really see him that much after he did and I do miss him even though he lives up the road from me but when I say I miss him I really miss him even though he can be mean to me. Everyone was saying that I need to let him go or that I need to stop holding onto him as a friend when he 'doesn't care'. He's apologized to me and told me that he appreicated me being there when he was 'at his lowest'. I just don't know where I should go from here because I truly care about him more than I even care about myself and my family which has caused problems within my family earlier this year. I just don't want to cut him out but at the same time I want him to understand that I trying to talk to him because I feel as if he can't stand me as a person even though he told me that he liked me as a person/friend earlier on. He doesn't have the greatest home life meaning like his mom doesn't care for him and doesn't really care, his brother doesn't live with him anymore, and his dad doesn't even see him anymore. I want him to understand also that I have this goal to get close to him but to me mentally I feel as if he would hate that and would want to push me away. Even though he may be just a friend/bro (since we fight like brothers), he means so much to me and I can't ever not see him happy and there was a tragic time where I had 'feelings' for him even though I am a guy too. It was a thing that tore us apart for awhile and it hurt that we broke off as friends for awhile but I kept pushing to get to him and he finally came back and talked to me. I don't know what I should do next in this friendship situation and yet the last thing I told him was and I quote 'Hey man, I know you don't really want to talk to me but I wanted to say that I was sorry. Yeah that's all I'm saying. I hope that things get better or have gotten better. Happy Holidays if you actually celebrate the season. L8r....' I want to know what is the best thing to either do or say to him to fix everything around and me having feelings for him wasn't recent but it was back in August and it happened again in the fall of 2014. Thank you so much!
Life isnt fair. Just because one person develops feelings or attraction to a particular person doesnt mean the other will feel the same. There is no way to make a person who doesnt see you as a romantic interest to all of a sudden feel that way. I tend to believe it has a lot to do with human pheremones. even in the animal kingdom, some animals attract mates by their pheremones, or scents or their mating call. Humans are somewhat the same, everyone has their own type of pheremone but just like the blood type you have, its something you can't change to match that of another person. Pheremones can differ slightly, be only half a match or not match at all. If there is no match, someone is not going to have feelings for the other. The best thing you can do is to stop pursueing him as a romantic interest and just act friend like towards him. Even if someday he decided he was gay, the two gay people still need to have close to or matching pheremones to feel that romantic attraction, otherwise all you can have is just friendship. THe healthiest of long term partnerships such as marriage for example require both being good friends and both attracted to and having a great sexual relationship where one doesnt weaken the other. If one is missing, the relationship will either be a rocky one or fall apart/break up. Sorry to be bearer of bad news but this is life and cant be changed.
Hi,I leave in a traditional,conservative country.
I have just entered university,it's been 3 months.
At the beginning I met a girl who was really similar to me.
we spend almost all our free time chatting by telegram.
we have just started going out.BUT the problem is that she is completely different in the real world.
she is too shy(just in front of me)that we can not talk AT ALL!
she told me yesterday that she is scared of talking to me face to face
What I have to do GUYZ???????
Its not what you have to do but what she has to do.
I grew up having severe social anxiety which meant I was scared of talking to people face to face too. What I can tell you is that there is hope for her to overcome it but by not changing anything or doing anything different and avoiding facing her fears, she will not get over it. you can only encourage her to do what it takes to overcome it. Sheer will power won't work but certain exercises followed diligently for a month or two will take care of it. However she has to be really ready and wanting to get over this anxiety, being sick and tired of how it cripples her social life. Until she reaches that point, she will not be ready to do what it takes. When she is, have her write to me from my column at dragonflymagic and I will tell her what she needs to do. If she is not shy around all other people, only you, then her fear is more of saying or doing the wrong thing and making a great error in person that would cause you to not like her anymore. When somebody has a crush on another, this form of anxiety again will need her to face her fears in small steps that she can handle but she must do something. How about instead of having a conversation with you, just meet for the length of playing a board game and have her talk only about stuff related to the game and when its over, she can go home and keep up being with you where some little conversational amount is required but she doesnt have to come up with whole conversation yet. That might help. Just be supportive but you can't force her if shes not ready.
okay so i am going to give some background story to my im having this feeling
girl, 14
so during early december, our school organised a trip to places, and in that trip, we had amazing trip leaders, and so we added them on facebook to keep in touch. there are 2 leaders that are pretty awesome lets call them T and F. personally, i like F more that T and my friend likes T more than F. so i usually chat with F and i kinda like him (as in like a brother) and lately its kinda awkward since he said im his sister and being sweet. i still want to talk to him but ive started a conversation like 2 days ago and he still havent reply my message.
i want to chat with him because i dont feel lonely, but him ignoring my message happens often but when we talk, he usually says he misses me and shit. when he dont reply, my whole self just feels down and even if im around my friends, i just dont seem like talking and i just want to be back at home. i just want him to be my close friend but at the same time im kinda developing feelings for him but i dont really want to like him since we are like 10 years apart?!?!!?!??
oh and since he havent reply my message and hes seen it, should i message him again or wait? im afraid that if i continue waiting, that text that im waiting for will never appear. or should i just ask him straightly "why are you not replying to my messages?"
thanks to whoever that has read up to here about my weird ass life.
My first question which you dont have to answer is whether you have a Dad in the house and have a good relationship with him. Does he take time to talk and interact with you?
The reasons behind my questions: What you are feeling is right on time for a period all young girls go through. When we change from young girls into young women, we subconsciously feel a need to be validated as now being a young woman and no longer a girl and we dont want that validation from a sibling or Mom. The only satisfactory way to get it is from a trusted male family member who will not compromise things and expect sex. All a girl needs to hear is her Dad saying things like, "Wow, honey, you're growing up so fast its like you've become a woman overnight and looking as great as your Mom." or something like that, commenting on her looks but also recognizing her talents and such. I had a Dad like that, so tho I would gawk at guys often way way older than me, I didnt require attention from them, not the kind that validates you as being a young woman. Young gals who don't get the recognition they naturally need often turn to sex with their male peers as a poor replacement for that recognition, thinking the wolf calls and whistles and guys asking for sex means something. Well, yeah, it means they are horny, just thinking and acting with their dick and dont give a shit or even realize that young girls only need to know they are beautiful at this point.
Now from the guys point of view, he's not in the same age bracket. This would be like you hanging out every day in a nursery trying to hold convo's with all the toddlers. Yes, you can talk to toddlers but the conversation and things in common are going to be so vastly different that it isn't fulfilling long term. If he gave his FB address and added you guys, it was likely more for you to likely read and follow his posts but not use as a way to become really close like a sister or friend or even to get your young female recognition needs met. Too many people do not even know about this but its a fact. Its not likely this 24 yr old man even has a clue yet that women need reassurances even at his age that they are very likeable as females. And it really isnt his job to do it. While your conscious mind says its nothing, and you dont want to like him romantically, this need in you has your subconscious mind wanting that, emotions come from our subconscious self. And so, you are in real quick danger of falling for him really fast and seriously and nothing can come of it as any male that interacts as friends with girls younger than 18 are already looked at questioningly. If it blossoms into a romantic relationship and sex at some point, he's breaking the law and in danger of going to jail. Its not in his best interest to keep in constant touch with you. His not replying constantly is him setting the pace for what is acceptable and comfortable having you as a FB friend. Respect that and dont hound him with more messages. I have friends who watch and like my posts but we rarely chat on there, twice a year. This would be people like my ex husband and any ex boyfriends before I met my 2nd husband. Some people are just really nice and so you care about how things are going but you dont need to keep in daily or weekly contact with them.
So you are acting normal, don't worry and you'll likely fixate on many other guys as well before you get old enough to be allowed to date. want to become their close friend. Just dont get too serious about other guys. Try to get more time spent together with Dad. If he doesnt compliment you, let Mom know you'd like Dad's opinion at times on how you look. If you get a new dress or something model it for the family but make sure to address Dad asking him what he thinks of how you look. Try asking him to remember when he was your age. What kind of girls caught his eye. Does he think you are going to be able to catch the interest of guys your own age. This is actually the stuff you need to hear to gain some self confidence, a thing greatly lacking in teens. Perhaps Mom can pave the way for Dad if he's generally cllueless about things like this but it means talking to Mom first. Good luck dear.
Recently my little sister told me the reason her and my stepbrother don't get along because when she was about 15 or 14 and he being 17 when they were both high not that this makes it an excuse ... Well my stepbrother asked my little sister if they could have sex.... Mind you my dad and stepmom have been together sense we were 6 so we've been related by marriage for almost 20 years now so this happened 4 or 5 years ago... I told my fiancé and I told my older sister who also doesn't know what to make of the situation or what to do!! My little sister said we can't do anything because so much time has passed. I'm sick to my stomach and the fact that she shares a space with him where they sleep makes me scared. I don't know what good it would to tell my mom because it's our word against his and not that my mom wouldn't believe us but all it would do would make her broken hurt angry I can't imagine how a mother would feel to hear that. My stepbrother is such a manipulator that he can get his way out of anything. Also my step siblings are treated way differently than all of us. For example my older sister graduated college and had to pay rent my stepbrother does not. Please help me I'm sick to my stomach sad I wasn't there to help her and all I want to do is make this better but I don't know how!!
Many people have regrets about the past either for something they have done or a wish to be able to go back and protect someone from experiencing something. Unfortunately, we can't travel back in time or there are things I would change too, mainly something I would avoid doing. If she is now 18 or older, bringing this to light with Mom isnt going to change anything. Keep in mind he did ask instead of forcing and raping her. The fact of life is that males, especially young hormonal ones can find just about any female acceptable and or arousing when they feel this urge to have sex. Some young males enjoy dreaming about their friends Moms who are hot looking to them, some their own Mom....You've heard of Milfs I hope. Sometimes a guy can see a family relation that way, an aunt or sister. As long as he keeps his cock in his pants, I see no harm done. Your sister if she wanted to tell Mom should have back when it happened, especially if it made her feel unsafe as if he might corner her and force her but she didnt and he didn't. The only thing that changes anything is if she is not yet 18 and not an adult, meaning its still Moms responsibility to look after her welfare. Even if she turns 18 in a couple months, she could still say something but its for her to say, not you. You can encourage her if shes under age and let her know you'll go with to support her and let her know that she may not be as safe as she thinks. He may not force her but what if he came home drunk one night and had no idea what he was doing? If shes not yet 18, then Mom needs to know so that they are separated and there is no temptation on his part at least at night. Just living under the same roof and having seperate sleeping spaces doesnt keep her safe if she feels he may still be capable of forcing himself on her. Unless he acts obsessed over her now, being older, I believe he's more likely to find plenty willing young women of his age to have sex with and has no need to resort to asking sister at this point in time.
Now if she's 18 or over and has voluntarily decided to share costs of an apt, being his roommate, then if she wants out, she should be an adult and find a way to leave and find a female needing a roommate to share an place. Otherwise, she stays on as his roommate and theres no problem.
I know how hard it is for you to receive this kind of news years later. I too have a younger sister who told me some time in her 30s about another family member who exposed himself to her when she was 12 or 13. I told her I wished she had told me at the time as I event was for her, she was long over it as an adult and it never re-occurred which is the main issue. Only if its still a re-occurring thing is there a need to say something.
24/f
I seem to always have had a hard time making and keeping friends. Im 24 now and it just feels like if I try to make friends with other girls Its forced. The few friends I do have have kids or their always busy. I have a coworker whose said she wanted to hangout, but she never texts me. And if I text her she doesn't answer. She has a daughter as well. And then there was this other girl around the corner from where I work and I gave her my number and I never heard from her. And this one girl at the gym who works there gave me her number and it didn't seem like she wanted to. Whenever we talk it's always me texting her. The last time we talked I texted her and she said she was going to the gym, and I said that i might go but I didn't because I was with my mom and we planned to have dinner together. I don't know what to do anymore. I used to have friends but they weren't very good people. They were into drugs and I started doing that but i eventually stopped, because I didn't want to get int trouble And i don't have facebook or any other social media because I got into trouble recently. Some idiot emailed my mom at work telling her the very personal details of my sex life, and how i cheated on my last boyfriend (which I truly regret) so she got upset of course and made stay off social media and I had to get a basic phone as well. I've tried to make her understand that I need friends and I want to be on social media, but she just doesn't get it. I'm so sick of feeling like this. I mean I want for once to hangout with someone on the weekend and not parents. It just seems like everyone already has their own friends and they don't need me in their group or even their life. So what should I do? What am i doing wrong? Thanks.
One problem you didnt list is that you are an adult living with parents. While not a problem in itself, parents seem to interfere in their adult kids lives especially when they don't approve of a childs choicds, and continue to parent them as long as they're living under that roof. While it is right to obey any house rules, if you own your own computer and phone and pay your own bills for networker provider, then the parents should have no say over what you are doing.
Now, as to how to meet people. The internet is a wonderful tool for finding people to meet and get together in person. I'm not talking dating sites but theres that too. What I have used to try out new possible interests or meet others with same interests or hobbies as myself is Meetup.com
http://www.meetup.com/
When you look it up, it should show already a listing of whats available in the largest city in your area. Click on a title like games or new age to see what all clubs fall under that heading and then read up on what the club is about, where they meet and you can create your own profile and chat with other members of these groups within the meetup system. I know there wont be much of anything for winter right now but come spring and summer, look up your parks and recreational website for your town to see what events are coming up and attend them to see if you can make some friends. Hope this helps you.
I am a 14 year old girl and after I masturbate my lower stomach thighs and hips hurt even for a few days how do I stop this? or what medicines can I take ? Do I have an infection?
The only thing I can think of is that when you masturbate, the stomach and thigh region tenses up for a long time without releasing the muscles until orgasm. That can make some muscles sore that dont often get use. If you've ever done a hard exercise workout and felt sore hurting muscles after, then you know what sore muscles feel like. One way to find out is to stop masturbating for a while and see if it goes away. If it does, start up again and see what happens and if that same soreness comes back, then its most likely due to some muscles getting exercise that haven't really got any or at least that intense a workout before. I am much older and on occasion depending on what we were doing in bed and how long and intense it was I can sometimes feel sore muscles in the morning.
What Dr.s consider a warning and need to see them is if a female has uncontrolled heavy bleeding from that area that wont stop and the other, intense pelvic pain that won't go away. Sore muscles is not one of their concerns. But at some point soon, it is a good idea to have your Mom take you for your first genecological check up to make sure all is okay.
25 female. My boyfriend and his ex share a pet together. Last night I was over at his house and the dog was over because his ex had to do something. She called him when she was going to come pick him up and he answered the phone said "hi" and then walked out of the room. This made me weary becuase why would he have to walk out of the room to talk with her? When he came back in I asked where he went and he said "Away from Cooper (their dogs) ears like joking around. He then said Cooper your mom is weird. I just left it at that.
I didn't want to start questioning why he walked out of the room to speak with her. But it makes me wonder now. Why couldn't he just speak with her when I was right there?
Good! He thinks the ex is weird by telling the dog his mom is weird. This means he found out enough about her by being in relationship with her to discover that what he sees on the outside may look okay but who she is on the inside is something he doesn't want to hang around. I know you are very troubled by this whole situation. Either you learn to cut him some slack and learn to trust him in this relationship or you may well end up being number two of ex's that he mentions to the next girl as being too weird. Guys don't like drama and shy away from that.
And the answer to why he couldnt just speak with her when you were right there, is that at this point, he's still willing to work with you and see if over time you both can gain trust so knowing how badly this upsets you, he walked out of the room hoping if you didn't have to listen to his half of the convo, that you'd feel better. He tried. Obviously it didn't work. By what you have shared, I feel the only thing I can say which you may not like to hear is that the problem lies more with you than him. You take too much personally and doubt your ability to hold his interest and love. Gain self confidence, and this could be a very promising relationship.
Hi.. 17/F
Before June me and my boyfriend was fooling around and he was in me for less than 5 min.. I got my period 2 times since then and I think I am going to get it again now but I'm not sure. I read on the internet that you could still be pregnant even if you got your period.. I tried to get a pregnancy test but we have a very conservative family.. I have tender nipples and lower back and abdomen pain.. I have a few flu symptoms and at times I feel light headed, I also have a very big headache sometimes.. I don't have stuff like nausea od heartburn and I'm a little over weight but I don't feel bumpy'ness or anything swollen.. can I be pregnant or is it just pms?
If you have a period after having sex, you are not pregnant. Sperm do not have a long life if not united with your fertilized egg so sperm hanging around inside you, from last June waiting for the right moment to get you pregnant is impossible. What you likely have is the flu. When a female is stressed, or ill in some way, this will also delay the start of your period and that also is not a sign of pregnancy unless you've had sex in the last month to couple weeks.