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My Friend Cameron or so I thought?
Hi,
My name is Tyler and I have a friend by the name of Cameron. We've went through so much pain forsaken events between each other such as fighting with each other, cussing at each other, upsetting each other, and more. He claims he's straight but I just don't see it but yet again I've never seen him in a relationship with a guy. Anyways, so it's around Christmas now and tomorrow is Christmas Eve so I don't expect to have this answered before Christmas Day but he told me personally in a private text message that he had depression and that he was just being mean to everyone/thing because he had such a thing. He recently graduated from my high school this past June and I didn't really see him that much after he did and I do miss him even though he lives up the road from me but when I say I miss him I really miss him even though he can be mean to me. Everyone was saying that I need to let him go or that I need to stop holding onto him as a friend when he 'doesn't care'. He's apologized to me and told me that he appreicated me being there when he was 'at his lowest'. I just don't know where I should go from here because I truly care about him more than I even care about myself and my family which has caused problems within my family earlier this year. I just don't want to cut him out but at the same time I want him to understand that I trying to talk to him because I feel as if he can't stand me as a person even though he told me that he liked me as a person/friend earlier on. He doesn't have the greatest home life meaning like his mom doesn't care for him and doesn't really care, his brother doesn't live with him anymore, and his dad doesn't even see him anymore. I want him to understand also that I have this goal to get close to him but to me mentally I feel as if he would hate that and would want to push me away. Even though he may be just a friend/bro (since we fight like brothers), he means so much to me and I can't ever not see him happy and there was a tragic time where I had 'feelings' for him even though I am a guy too. It was a thing that tore us apart for awhile and it hurt that we broke off as friends for awhile but I kept pushing to get to him and he finally came back and talked to me. I don't know what I should do next in this friendship situation and yet the last thing I told him was and I quote 'Hey man, I know you don't really want to talk to me but I wanted to say that I was sorry. Yeah that's all I'm saying. I hope that things get better or have gotten better. Happy Holidays if you actually celebrate the season. L8r....' I want to know what is the best thing to either do or say to him to fix everything around and me having feelings for him wasn't recent but it was back in August and it happened again in the fall of 2014. Thank you so much!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Life isnt fair. Just because one person develops feelings or attraction to a particular person doesnt mean the other will feel the same. There is no way to make a person who doesnt see you as a romantic interest to all of a sudden feel that way. I tend to believe it has a lot to do with human pheremones. even in the animal kingdom, some animals attract mates by their pheremones, or scents or their mating call. Humans are somewhat the same, everyone has their own type of pheremone but just like the blood type you have, its something you can't change to match that of another person. Pheremones can differ slightly, be only half a match or not match at all. If there is no match, someone is not going to have feelings for the other. The best thing you can do is to stop pursueing him as a romantic interest and just act friend like towards him. Even if someday he decided he was gay, the two gay people still need to have close to or matching pheremones to feel that romantic attraction, otherwise all you can have is just friendship. THe healthiest of long term partnerships such as marriage for example require both being good friends and both attracted to and having a great sexual relationship where one doesnt weaken the other. If one is missing, the relationship will either be a rocky one or fall apart/break up. Sorry to be bearer of bad news but this is life and cant be changed.
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