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My crush is shy in front of me
Hi,I leave in a traditional,conservative country.
I have just entered university,it's been 3 months.
At the beginning I met a girl who was really similar to me.
we spend almost all our free time chatting by telegram.
we have just started going out.BUT the problem is that she is completely different in the real world.
she is too shy(just in front of me)that we can not talk AT ALL!
she told me yesterday that she is scared of talking to me face to face
What I have to do GUYZ???????
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Its not what you have to do but what she has to do.
I grew up having severe social anxiety which meant I was scared of talking to people face to face too. What I can tell you is that there is hope for her to overcome it but by not changing anything or doing anything different and avoiding facing her fears, she will not get over it. you can only encourage her to do what it takes to overcome it. Sheer will power won't work but certain exercises followed diligently for a month or two will take care of it. However she has to be really ready and wanting to get over this anxiety, being sick and tired of how it cripples her social life. Until she reaches that point, she will not be ready to do what it takes. When she is, have her write to me from my column at dragonflymagic and I will tell her what she needs to do. If she is not shy around all other people, only you, then her fear is more of saying or doing the wrong thing and making a great error in person that would cause you to not like her anymore. When somebody has a crush on another, this form of anxiety again will need her to face her fears in small steps that she can handle but she must do something. How about instead of having a conversation with you, just meet for the length of playing a board game and have her talk only about stuff related to the game and when its over, she can go home and keep up being with you where some little conversational amount is required but she doesnt have to come up with whole conversation yet. That might help. Just be supportive but you can't force her if shes not ready.
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