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my friend has I crush on a guy that I use to like
My friend likes a guy that broke my heart and he likes her back. I'm not sure if I totally moved on. What do I tell her?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I understand the asking for permission part to date a guy who just broke up with you but my opinion is there is a time limit on that. If its a fresh breakup up in the last couple weeks, okay, a girl should ask her friend if its okay. However if its been a few months with no sign of the two of your reconciling and getting back together, then he is single, available and she should be able to make a move on the guy if she likes him, or him make a move for her. Your emotions and heart break and feeling of not being over him should not hold back and or dictate whether any two people get together just because you are not ready yet and haven't moved on. That is something that needs to happen inside you and will take time. Your moving on time period will always be something that takes time and if two people are better suited for each other, they should not have to wait until you feel over it. Some gals pine for a guy for years and it would be unfair to have to wait for years until the girl with the broken heart finally says, Okay, I can give you the green light to go after him now. Thats not how it works in real life honey. So my advice is to not say anything. Its a crush and crushes don't last forever. From middle school until we marry, we date many many different guys because we need to do so, to learn what we really like and want in a relationship. Most certainly you don't want your next relationship to be with a guy who didn't care about you as deeply as you did him. How will you know if its true love. These things you learn by experience and that experience isn't long term with one person only, but with multiple dating experiences in your life and many times feeling you're in love with different guys each time. The thing to remember is to look for the things you did like about the last guy to find them in the next, and to avoid the things you didn't like about your last sweetie in the next guy. This means each relationship should be a step better than the last, always improving on the type of guy you're in relationship with. Theres no way to avoid the heart ache and pain of one not working out but its a necessary part of life. If you close up your heart to avoid getting hurt in the future which you most likely will, then your heart will be protected but unable to receive and benefit from the love of people who do care about you, family included, not just the new love interest. So icky as it is, this is a natural process. Give yourself time to heal, don't discourage your friend and don't say anything. Now if for some reason they do get together and want to go out somewhere as a group to do something and you're invited, if you are not yet over him and it would hurt to see him pay attention to your friend, thats the only time you need to say something, its based on the current situation. You tell her that you're not over the hurt yet and it would bother you to see him with her so its not her you want to avoid, shes still your friend and you're happy its working for her but you choose to not hang near her when he's around her. If she's a good friend, she'll understand. Good luck.
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You should tell your friend that you don't think that you have got over him. If she understands then she will stop talking to him. But, if she doesn't, then it was obvious in the first place that she was never a true friend because people would ask their friends if its okay and they should understand if it is not okay. Sorry if that sounded blunt and to the point. But that is what i think. Good luck!
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Your friend should not date or go for someone who broke your heart, trust me, I've had a lot of experience with this. Tell her it's either you or him.
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