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im so screwed
okay i know the situation im in is pretty fucked up.
so im a 14 year old girl and i have this crush on a dude who is 10 years older than me. he tends to be really sweet, we met on a school trip and hes a trip leader. since its a trip, its just a temporary stay but we still kept in touch via fb. hes really sweet and will say he misses me. someone said that i shouldnt be liking him since we are so different nut i dont know. apparently i am developing a love for him which i know i shouldnt.
on the same hand, theres a close friend (boy) that confessed to me. i never thought of liking him in that way, but ive never been in a relationship and i want to try. but i dont know should i reject my friend because i dont want anything to be weird.
pls tell me should i date my friend or just wait for that old dude.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well if you want to try to be in a relationship with the guy thats your age and just tell him that your really value your friendship with him and that your afraid things will get weird if it doesnt work out and just see what he says? Maybe he has a different take on all this that you dont but you really dont know unless you talk to him.
Now the other guy: its understandable and totally common for younger girls to admire older males, however the reality of it is, they are in a different place in life then your are. They need an older woman who is (at least much closer) to their age, has a job, a place of their own, and much much more that you dont have yet. This isnt mean, its just at the age your at right now, how can you compete with that?
This is a sign that he is meant for someone else and he just hasnt found her yet. Dont be selfish and try to keep him from true potential happiness with someone who can give to a relationship more or at least as much as he would be giving to it. Theres big differences between an adult relationship and a teenage one because younger people dont even really know what they wnt or DONT want in a partner yet where as your older male most likely already does. Whats going to happen if your WERE to be with that older guy and he finds out that you cant give, or dont have the things he needs in a partner because of the fact that your not old enough yet? things could end badly even if your both tried to make sure it didnt happen.
I married my older boyfriend ok....we have a 7 year difference between us, and let me tell you now, that even though they SAY and act like age doesnt matter, theres still little things that they want and will try t get you to do maybe without even knowing it fully and YOU end up with hurt feelings because your always thinking that someone else might be better for him that DOES have it all together and DOES have the things he wants. Ill give you an example or two of what im talking about ok?
1: i was 14 and he was 21 when we first met and started dating. He had his drivers lic. a car, and job, and was in school and pursuing a GOOD carrier.
Now without him "trying" to put any of that pressure on me, he little by little started pushing me to get a job and a drivers lic. and a car ASAP weather i was ready for it or NOT. My family LIKED him and liked the idea of someone like him in my life pushing me to go for the right goals in life, and LUCKILY for me i wanted the same things. but what if you didnt? what if you wernt ready yet? how would you feel?
(this isnt just with THOSE specific things either, this could be with anything else as well))
see where im going with this?? he'll be trying to bring you to his level in life and it will be at warp speed because hes already ready for a partner that DOES have those things.
Theres not problem with keeping in touch, and maybe when your older and he still is into you and your free they whos to say that things cant work out....
good luck ; )
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