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Stepbrother asked sister for sex
Recently my little sister told me the reason her and my stepbrother don't get along because when she was about 15 or 14 and he being 17 when they were both high not that this makes it an excuse ... Well my stepbrother asked my little sister if they could have sex.... Mind you my dad and stepmom have been together sense we were 6 so we've been related by marriage for almost 20 years now so this happened 4 or 5 years ago... I told my fiancé and I told my older sister who also doesn't know what to make of the situation or what to do!! My little sister said we can't do anything because so much time has passed. I'm sick to my stomach and the fact that she shares a space with him where they sleep makes me scared. I don't know what good it would to tell my mom because it's our word against his and not that my mom wouldn't believe us but all it would do would make her broken hurt angry I can't imagine how a mother would feel to hear that. My stepbrother is such a manipulator that he can get his way out of anything. Also my step siblings are treated way differently than all of us. For example my older sister graduated college and had to pay rent my stepbrother does not. Please help me I'm sick to my stomach sad I wasn't there to help her and all I want to do is make this better but I don't know how!!
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Many people have regrets about the past either for something they have done or a wish to be able to go back and protect someone from experiencing something. Unfortunately, we can't travel back in time or there are things I would change too, mainly something I would avoid doing. If she is now 18 or older, bringing this to light with Mom isnt going to change anything. Keep in mind he did ask instead of forcing and raping her. The fact of life is that males, especially young hormonal ones can find just about any female acceptable and or arousing when they feel this urge to have sex. Some young males enjoy dreaming about their friends Moms who are hot looking to them, some their own Mom....You've heard of Milfs I hope. Sometimes a guy can see a family relation that way, an aunt or sister. As long as he keeps his cock in his pants, I see no harm done. Your sister if she wanted to tell Mom should have back when it happened, especially if it made her feel unsafe as if he might corner her and force her but she didnt and he didn't. The only thing that changes anything is if she is not yet 18 and not an adult, meaning its still Moms responsibility to look after her welfare. Even if she turns 18 in a couple months, she could still say something but its for her to say, not you. You can encourage her if shes under age and let her know you'll go with to support her and let her know that she may not be as safe as she thinks. He may not force her but what if he came home drunk one night and had no idea what he was doing? If shes not yet 18, then Mom needs to know so that they are separated and there is no temptation on his part at least at night. Just living under the same roof and having seperate sleeping spaces doesnt keep her safe if she feels he may still be capable of forcing himself on her. Unless he acts obsessed over her now, being older, I believe he's more likely to find plenty willing young women of his age to have sex with and has no need to resort to asking sister at this point in time.
Now if she's 18 or over and has voluntarily decided to share costs of an apt, being his roommate, then if she wants out, she should be an adult and find a way to leave and find a female needing a roommate to share an place. Otherwise, she stays on as his roommate and theres no problem.
I know how hard it is for you to receive this kind of news years later. I too have a younger sister who told me some time in her 30s about another family member who exposed himself to her when she was 12 or 13. I told her I wished she had told me at the time as I event was for her, she was long over it as an adult and it never re-occurred which is the main issue. Only if its still a re-occurring thing is there a need to say something.
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Ask your sister how you can make it better.
She's a young adult now. So telling your parents without her permission would be disrespectful and unkind. If she had told you when she was 14, it would have been vital for you to tell an adult, but now, as she is adult herself it's really not up to you to decide how this gets handled. What he did was harassment, and it was inappropriate, but if there was no touching involved and nothing beyond asking the question, then legally there is very little to be done at this point.
If there is or was a pattern of behavior or repeated harassment or assault, than that is different, but if this one event is what happened, then your sister's feelings about what should be done now are the most important thing to consider.
So ask her. Ask her what she wants.
Maybe, ask her if you can help her move out. Can she live with you or an other sibling for a while? How can she get out? Can you support her firmly with your parent getting her own room or space at home? Does she need help getting to a therapist or someone else to talk too?
As uncomfortable as you are now, as much as this would upset your parents, it'll be worse for her. It may be tough on everyone else, but it'll be the worst for her. So respect her enough to let her make the choice. You can't fix this, but the best thing you can for her now and ask her what would help her.
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You do not say if your little sister gave into your stepbrothers request. If she did it is rape. If she didn't and depending on if he just asked once or if he continued to try to have sex with her it could be sexual harassment. Both of which are crimes. It is not incest as they are not blood related as in half sister and half brother. At least that is the opinion I get from what you have written. As in from the same mother but different fathers.
If he is still trying to have sex with her then your parents must be informed especially so they can change the sleeping arrangements. If he is not still trying to have sex with her and your sister does not want you to go to your parents. Then I suggest you go to your brother and inform him that back then was a sex crime against a minor and there is no statute of limitation on those crimes.
Tell him to stay away from your little sister. In fact it would be better if he found some place else to live. That you will be watching him and if he steps out of line he will be talking to the police, not your parents. Depending on which of the two sex crimes he may have committed he could be looking at life in prison.
I suggesting that you make this a threat and convince him you will go to the police. I'm not suggesting you do that is entirely up to you to do if you think you need to.
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