Member Since: July 12, 2015
Answers: 7
Last Update: January 12, 2017
Visitors: 1593
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Hi.. I'm just 11 and today is not going great with me.... please help well I was going to school but still packing and as I know it I feel a sharp pain that made me sit down. It was getting worse every minute. Then I started to feel my whole stomach hurt but the spot that was hurting the most was the original spot gained more pain. My whole stomach was feeling like a tingling pain. Now I try explaining to my mom but I tried but when I speak it hurts even more. Even if I breathe through my mouth deep or short it hurts even more. Now I can't help it now every minute goes by it gets worse every last time. Now the tingling pain goes to normal pain while my sharp pain turns into a far worse then sharp. Please help I kept telling my mom I'm not lieing because she thinks I'm making an excuse to not go to school. Please help me I'm really scared what's going to happen to me..... (link)
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This sounds like appendicitis, I would not take any chances and insist that your mother take you to the doctor, or go to school and ask your school nurse for help.
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my bro is getting married to a hoebag with two kids by two diff men and she gets NO CHILD SUPPORT...her parents are wealthy and they bought her a house and they are paying for the wedding, that alone says this chic is broke...anyway since I don't approve of my bro marrying this user and he also told this user that I don't like her which is something she had already felt from the jump....which is true I cant stand her....I don't like people who use people and are gimmie gimmie chics.....anyway...my bro wont speak to me since I don't like the hoebag and of course he doesn't want me at the wedding since I don't approve, but my dad is making me go....but my bro reiterated to me don't go since you don't approve of it...I think he is making the biggest mistake of his life.....what would you/how would you handle this? thanks (link)
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Unfortunately, there is little you can do.
I'm assuming by "bro" you mean your biological brother? Either way, you two are apparently close enough to have such strong feelings.
In my years I have witnessed my friends and siblings enter in to relationships that I hated. A friend in high school, her boyfriend was physically abusive. My sister was dating a verbally abusive and manipulative man for a very long time. Many other friends have been involved with men that I just down right didn't like, and there's a huge difference.
There is a difference between a significant other that is abusive and harmful (situation A), and a significant other that I just didn't like (situation B). In situation B I had to learn a tough lesson. Just because I personally would never date that person, doesn't mean that that man doesn't make her happy. And yes, some of them were broke, some of them had children, and some of them were just down right losers. But they for all intents and purposes treated my friend right and made them happy and I had to learn to hold my tongue.
When someone attack someones you love, your initial response is to go into the defensive. You are putting them in a position where they feel like they have to choose between two important people in their lives and a lot of times, because you are the one forcing them into that awful position, they lean even harder on the very person you are trying to get rid of. It almost never has the desired effect and honestly, it isn't a caring thing to do. The best thing you can do for your brother is be there for him and try your best to understand his position. You love your brother and he loves this woman so there is surely something about her that you could love too and you need to find that in her. At the very least, love the fact that she makes him happy.
As for the Situation B people, when it came to my friends, yes, a lot of times these relationships didn't work out. But when it was all said and done I was still there for them because I supported them. I didn't force them to make a decision that they shouldn't have to make. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to understand everything they do. I strongly urge that you try and fix things before the wedding. I think down the road, both you and your brother will really regret that you weren't there.
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Very scared I'm pregnant. Had sex on August 17th and my boyfriend came in me and I told him not too. The next morning I took plan be on August 18th August 25th I got my normal period.. I should be having my period coming Monday - Friday this week.. I haven't been feeling myself . Has anyone got pregnant with taking plan b and having a period. ? (link)
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Your cycle may be thrown off because of the Plan B, especially if you have already experienced a "normal period". Typically, after your uterus sheds, the chance of you still being pregnant is very low. If you do not get your period on Monday I wouldn't panic, it could just be that your cycle was moved around because of the Plan B. You may still get one on Monday or it may end up being later in the month, closer to the 25th.
I'm sure, after the stress that you endured, that you know you need to make some serious changes regarding your birth control practices.
First of all, I must point out that even if your partner did not finish inside of you, you would still be just as likely to be pregnant. The "pull out" method is NOT an effective form of birth control on its own, and is usually practiced incorrectly. Before ejaculation, the penis excretes small amounts of semen, referred to commonly as "pre-cum". The male cannot feel this excretion, he has no idea that it is happening, and there is absolutely not way for him to control or stop it. Planned Parenthood gave the following statistics:
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly.
See more at: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method#sthash.zv78csPR.dpuf
If you continue to have sex, I would STRONGLY recommend that you use another form of birth control, be that an oral contraceptive or a condom.
Secondly, I must also bring up the risk of sexually transmitted disease (STD) that comes with having sex without a condom. Many men carry STDs without even knowing that they have it. Before having sex with someone I would urge you both to be tested. However, I know this is not entirely common so at the very least it is so so so important that you use a condom. It is best, until proven otherwise, to assume that a condom is necessary. It's not mean. He shouldn't be offended. You are protecting yourself not only from pregnancy, but from illness and he should respect that. Although, I must be honest, it does not sound like your current partner has much respect for you. Which brings me to my final point.
I find it incredibly concerning that your boyfriend finished inside of you after you explicitly told him not to. That is not right, and I think you should seriously consider if this is the kind of person you want to continue to have sex with. I cannot stress enough, the importance of trusting your partner. This is a serious red flag. He put you at risk. He didn't care about your safety or your well being or your wishes. That is so, so, so, not okay and I really hope that you can see that too.
I'm not trying to scare you or make you more distressed. I do not think that you are pregnant but I do think that you should remember this feeling and make some serious changes to avoid feeling like this ever again.
Even if I'm coming off harsh, I'm not trying to sound like I judge you. I have been in your shoes too. Perhaps you already know all of the information above, I have no way of knowing that or not. But I would hate to think that if by some chance you didn't, that I didn't at least try to help.
Take care.
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Hello, I'm a sophomore who just transferred to a new college campus in a new town two weeks ago. So far I really like everything here and plan on sticking it out here through the end of my degree.
The only thing I'm kind of sad about is that I don't have any friends yet. The people I spark conversation with are nice enough, but I haven't made a real connection with any of them because for the most part people just to go class and then leave.
I was placed in a double room in a nice apartment off campus, but my roommate never showed up and it's starting to look like they wont fill the extra bed. While I'm happy to have my own room, it's kind of lonely seeing the other empty bed because I was hoping we'd be friends and go do stuff together on campus. I do have one other roommate in the next room but she's a senior and already has a bunch of friends that she's always out with. She's also in a sorority so she's really busy. I also have a boyfriend that I love and I go and spend weekends with him (he lives 40 minutes away) but during the week I don't have anybody on campus to hang out with.
I'm not really interested in very many of the clubs and the one I did show up to only had 5 people in it and all of them were men except one and she wasn't the type of girl I'd socialize with.
So my next idea was to rush for a sorority, but I'm worried for this too. I don't look like the other sorority girls who all seem to be tall, tan, brunettes and blondes. I do have light blonde hair and blue eyes, but I'm fair skinned and much shorter than most girls (at 5ft tall). I also dress nicer than most girls because I'm passionate about style ( I even run a popular fashion blog) but I do worry that this comes off intimidating and snobbish. I know I'm just as pretty as a lot of them are (not bragging), but I think being short really throws people off.
I'm also not the type to go out and get drunk all the time, and would never touch drugs so I worry this may turn them off and they might think I don't like to have fun.
Other than that I really want to feel like I'm part of something and that if I can get in and they look past my height I'd be happy in a sorority. I love the idea of having a sisterhood and Greek life seems big on this campus. I always figure if I don't like it I can just withdraw.
My boyfriend was a fraternity guy when he was in college and was even president of the fraternal council which is a big deal, but he claims he doesn't want to see me rush because he doesn't want me to get lost in sorority drama. However, I think maybe part of him does want me to because whenever I talk about it he says I should at least go to the recruitment events to see if I like it.
Another thing is I'm a little picky, I don't want to rush and only get into the low-tier sorority groups that just take anybody (or not get any bids at all) and would be humiliated if those were the groups I got bids from. Every time I saw one of the sorority girls from a group who passed me up I'd feel really embarrassed and like I wasn't as cool as her. I also don't really want to rush alone because I tend to get shy around new people. I'd rather do it with somebody else, but don't know anybody. Sometimes I wonder if the risk of possibly being humiliated if they don't like me is worth rushing.
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As a member of a sorority, I can honestly say it was the best decision of my life. I found amazing friends, it keeps me busy, I discovered so much about myself, and it even helped me make connections to find a job!
The best part, my friends. I am entering my senior year and they have been my absolute rock. It's a house of 120 women so of course I don't head over heels LOVE every single girl in the sorority. Hey, there's some I don't like at all! But I found my people and they have been there through breakups, death, depression, eating disorders, homesickness, you name it. I honestly don't think I would still be in school if it weren't for these people.
My point is, you join a house because of the people. Depending on where you go to school makes a huge difference and depending on which house you choose makes a huge difference. There are stereotypes about sorority girls but at my school, and in my house, I don't see any credibility to them. We have short girls, tall girls, girls from all over the country, and girls from all over the world. Different shapes, sizes, and colors. Different majors and different interests. We have girls that go out every night and drink and we have girls that stay in. There's a bible study, and intramural teams, and study sessions. My sorority house is actually the one place on campus that I feel the best about myself. I love my house because of its diversity and acceptance and the love and respect we show each other, even the girls you don't like. You put it aside because you care about your house.
Personally I think the "top-tier" concept is absolute bullshit. I am in what most people at my school call a "top-tier" sorority and I think it's absolutely ridiculous. Who decides that one group of girls is better than another? It's a very high school way of thinking and if you go into recruitment with the mentality that you have to be "top-tier" you will have a very poor experience. There are so many different girls in every house. If you ask 10 people they'll all tell you a different house that they think is "best". It's absurd. It's hurtful. And it has no place in a group of women that have so much more important things to worry about.
In the end, it's a personal choice. Don't do it for your family, or your boyfriend, or anyone but yourself. And find a house with people that you see yourself getting along with. If you don't find one, then don't join! You can always give it a try. I found my best friends, and truly sisters, and I really hope you have a similar experience!
Good luck!
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I'm a middle school girl, and I "suffer" from severe anorexia. I personally don't believe that it is an incredibly big deal, however there is one other problem. I can't lose weight. No matter what I do, nothing happens.Everyday, I record my weight, width of my waist, and what I ate that day. At the very most, I eat 750 calories a day. I do a hundred-cal workout however many times is necassary to work off the calories, plus 400 crunches. I eat organic cereal with milk for breakfast, resulting in 260 calories. For lunch, I have a 50 calorie container of applesauce, if anything. Then for supper I eat the smallest portion of whatever my mom cooks that I can get away with. Finally, I workout, doing the hundred-cal 3 times for lunch and breakfast, plus another 5 times for supper (I just estimate 500cal for supper cause I don't know how much it really is).
Despite all of this, I still don't lose weight. I fluctuate from 108.5Lb to 106, and from a 26.5in waist to 29. Im so tired of doing all of this, but I have to until I'm skinny. Anyone have an explanation? (Or at least some sort of appetite suppressant ideas)
If it helps, I'm a 5'2 female and 13 years old. (link)
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The fact that you put "suffer" in quotations as you have is incredibly devastating to me.
Your illness is real and your suffering is real. Your body, your mind, your loved ones even suffer from the side effects caused by anorexia. I really urge you to seek treatment and help.
Right now, you think losing "just a few more" pounds will end your pain. Believe me, I know all too well the rationalization of "just a few more". As a woman that struggled with eating disorders I can tell you that treatment is the only thing that will end your pain.
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16, female.
So I had this best friend and this year we have been in a different class. I am from Australia so here the school year starts at the beginning of the year. Meaning we have been in a different class since the beginning of the year.
We are in the same friend group, and we are all close friends but her and I (I'll call her Emma), were closer than we were with the others. She was my best friend and I was hers.
One of our other friends who is in her class now is best friends with her, and they do everything together. At recess our whole group sits together and they would always leave to go somewhere else or go to the bathroom to put on eyeshadow.
The girl that she is now best friends with has seemed to be following in my direction. She is now dating the person I was dating, and now she is best friends with my best friend. Now Emma doesn't hang out with me anymore. We don't have sleepovers, we don't do anything together when we aren't in school. When we had to be in partners for things, I would always go with Emma, and now she always goes with the other girl.
I just feel like I don't have someone to tell secrets to or invite over to my house anymore. Just do the normal best friend stuff with.
I don't want to tell her I am feeling this way because then I will feel that I am trying to control her or as if I'm asking her to not be as close with the other girl and be best friends with me again, I can't control what she wants to do because it is her life.
Writing this I realise I sound like a jealous ungrateful controlling teenage girl, and I do realise that I don't own anybody and people come and go, I can't be her only friend. But now we barely even talk anymore and she is always with the other girl. I would just join them both but then I'd feel even worse because they'll just be laughing with eachother and doing things together and I would just be there TRYING to join.
As for the rest of my friend group, they all just aren't like me. We don't share the same weirdness or humour, they don't understand me. Yeah, they're fun to be with but when it comes to problems now I feel like I have no one to turn to for advice or to just talk to. (link)
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It sucks to feel like you are losing a friend, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Being a teenager is hard because everyone is still trying to figure out who they are and where the fit in the world. It can be confusing because someone you got along with one year may be completely different the next and that is because your brain is still developing and your personality hasn't solidified yet. You're still growing and learning and becoming the person you are supposed to be. The way you manage friendships is a key part of who you are and how you handle it in your teens will have a huge impact on the rest of your life. You have to decide what kind of friend and person you want to be. It sounds like you actually have a very mature and healthy approach already.
You don't sound jealous, ungrateful, or controlling. Losing a friend is hard for anyone at any age. You haven't acted out towards these girls, been hurtful, or as some would, lash out at this new best friend of Emma's. For me personally, I never had best friends. I always had a strong group of friends that I could never pick just one girl to be my "best". That is personally how I manage friendships but I understand that it is not how others prefer to do so. However, if I were in your shoes I think I would forget about Emma for the time being. Not forever, but just for a few weeks give her some space. Maybe try and build relationships with the other girls in your group without trying to actively seek a new best friend. Don't think of it as replacing someone but as having a chance to really get to know some new people. Maybe even this new "best friend" of Emma's. If she gets along so well with Emma, chances are you two probably have a lot in common. I know it can suck at first because you feel like they have all of these private jokes and secrets but maybe give it a try. Invite both of them over to your house. Emma will probably appreciate the fact that you are trying to get to know someone she feels close with and it's just a show of good faith.
That being said, if they continue to isolate you and the friendship with Emma continues to make you feel more sad than it does happy, it may be time to revaluate your relationship with her. Do you really want to be friends with someone who makes you feel sad and lonely? Or that doesn't seem to care as much as you do? I know its hard but in the end you need to do whats best for you. You don't have to drop the relationship completely but you don't have to put in effort that is not being returned. Don't be antagonistic towards her or her new friend, of course still be friendly and you can always still be there if she needs you but you don't have to run yourself down over it anymore.
Hope some of this helped!
Goodluck!
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I've been talking to this guy for months now and we aren't official yet. He needs more time to make me his girlfriend. I don't know why but all I can do is wait. We've had sex more than five times and i've always been clean and fresh down there. I barely get to see him so its understood without saying that when we see each other we will become intimate. This time I wasn't so sure. It was my last day on my period. As most women know, your last day is very iffy. You can have possible spotting or discharge. At the time I was wearing a panty liner just in case that I began to spot. I didn't see spotting the whole day and I even used the bathroom and all the signs showed me that I was clear to have sex. We begin to get intimate and I start to notice a smell. I stop him and I tell him that I think i'm still on my period. I am horrified at this point because their is blood on his private area (not a lot) and the smell is not pleasant. I was embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted. I didn't know what to do next! I ran to the bathroom and asked him if I could rinse off. After we got cleaned up, he came in and gave me a hug and kiss. I felt so bad and then it became awkward. We had a talk about it and he told me that he's glad that I stopped it before we continued and that its a natural thing that is apart of life. He seemed very understanding and not mad but I feel like maybe he was playing Mr. Nice guy because he didn't kick me out and he didn't say anything rude. He said it was a little weird but he was over the situation. My question is was I supposed to tell him before hand about the last day of my period? Should I have not went over there at all because it was the last day of my period? What does he think of me now? Is he still interested? Should I be embarrassed? What should I do next? (link)
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I have found that if you plan on entering a mature, long term relationship with a man he HAS to be respectful and understanding of your body. Your period is completely natural, and some would say beautiful. Now, if you two discuss this and he explains in a respectful manner that he would rather not have intercourse while you are in the process of menstruating, then that is fine. No one should ever have sex in a situation that makes them uncomfortable. What he does have to do, is be understanding of the fact that you ultimately have no control over that, and there may be situations like the one you just mentioned. Have you ever finished your cycle and still spotted a few days later? Of course. There's no way to ever know completely that you will not release some blood especially during sex, which is supposed to open up those channels.
You did NOTHING wrong. For a man to kick you out and make a rude remark about a bodily process that you have absolutely NO control over is asinine and than man needs to grow up. Honestly, it makes me really sad that you would think that is okay or normal treatment. It's not. If this incident, if you can even cal it that, changed the way he supposedly feels about you then I don't think you should waste the time of day on him anyway. Chances are, because he sounds understanding, that he really is understanding and not just "playing Mr. Nice Guy". It's just human decency to respect your partner's body.
And agreeing with adviceman, having sex on your period actually does have a ton of health benefits. I also know a lot of women who struggle with natural lubrication, that find they are better lubricated and find sex less painful during their cycle and their significant others are more than willing to participate. Hopefully this helps!
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