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Should I rush for a sorority?
Hello, I'm a sophomore who just transferred to a new college campus in a new town two weeks ago. So far I really like everything here and plan on sticking it out here through the end of my degree.
The only thing I'm kind of sad about is that I don't have any friends yet. The people I spark conversation with are nice enough, but I haven't made a real connection with any of them because for the most part people just to go class and then leave.
I was placed in a double room in a nice apartment off campus, but my roommate never showed up and it's starting to look like they wont fill the extra bed. While I'm happy to have my own room, it's kind of lonely seeing the other empty bed because I was hoping we'd be friends and go do stuff together on campus. I do have one other roommate in the next room but she's a senior and already has a bunch of friends that she's always out with. She's also in a sorority so she's really busy. I also have a boyfriend that I love and I go and spend weekends with him (he lives 40 minutes away) but during the week I don't have anybody on campus to hang out with.
I'm not really interested in very many of the clubs and the one I did show up to only had 5 people in it and all of them were men except one and she wasn't the type of girl I'd socialize with.
So my next idea was to rush for a sorority, but I'm worried for this too. I don't look like the other sorority girls who all seem to be tall, tan, brunettes and blondes. I do have light blonde hair and blue eyes, but I'm fair skinned and much shorter than most girls (at 5ft tall). I also dress nicer than most girls because I'm passionate about style ( I even run a popular fashion blog) but I do worry that this comes off intimidating and snobbish. I know I'm just as pretty as a lot of them are (not bragging), but I think being short really throws people off.
I'm also not the type to go out and get drunk all the time, and would never touch drugs so I worry this may turn them off and they might think I don't like to have fun.
Other than that I really want to feel like I'm part of something and that if I can get in and they look past my height I'd be happy in a sorority. I love the idea of having a sisterhood and Greek life seems big on this campus. I always figure if I don't like it I can just withdraw.
My boyfriend was a fraternity guy when he was in college and was even president of the fraternal council which is a big deal, but he claims he doesn't want to see me rush because he doesn't want me to get lost in sorority drama. However, I think maybe part of him does want me to because whenever I talk about it he says I should at least go to the recruitment events to see if I like it.
Another thing is I'm a little picky, I don't want to rush and only get into the low-tier sorority groups that just take anybody (or not get any bids at all) and would be humiliated if those were the groups I got bids from. Every time I saw one of the sorority girls from a group who passed me up I'd feel really embarrassed and like I wasn't as cool as her. I also don't really want to rush alone because I tend to get shy around new people. I'd rather do it with somebody else, but don't know anybody. Sometimes I wonder if the risk of possibly being humiliated if they don't like me is worth rushing.
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As a member of a sorority, I can honestly say it was the best decision of my life. I found amazing friends, it keeps me busy, I discovered so much about myself, and it even helped me make connections to find a job!
The best part, my friends. I am entering my senior year and they have been my absolute rock. It's a house of 120 women so of course I don't head over heels LOVE every single girl in the sorority. Hey, there's some I don't like at all! But I found my people and they have been there through breakups, death, depression, eating disorders, homesickness, you name it. I honestly don't think I would still be in school if it weren't for these people.
My point is, you join a house because of the people. Depending on where you go to school makes a huge difference and depending on which house you choose makes a huge difference. There are stereotypes about sorority girls but at my school, and in my house, I don't see any credibility to them. We have short girls, tall girls, girls from all over the country, and girls from all over the world. Different shapes, sizes, and colors. Different majors and different interests. We have girls that go out every night and drink and we have girls that stay in. There's a bible study, and intramural teams, and study sessions. My sorority house is actually the one place on campus that I feel the best about myself. I love my house because of its diversity and acceptance and the love and respect we show each other, even the girls you don't like. You put it aside because you care about your house.
Personally I think the "top-tier" concept is absolute bullshit. I am in what most people at my school call a "top-tier" sorority and I think it's absolutely ridiculous. Who decides that one group of girls is better than another? It's a very high school way of thinking and if you go into recruitment with the mentality that you have to be "top-tier" you will have a very poor experience. There are so many different girls in every house. If you ask 10 people they'll all tell you a different house that they think is "best". It's absurd. It's hurtful. And it has no place in a group of women that have so much more important things to worry about.
In the end, it's a personal choice. Don't do it for your family, or your boyfriend, or anyone but yourself. And find a house with people that you see yourself getting along with. If you don't find one, then don't join! You can always give it a try. I found my best friends, and truly sisters, and I really hope you have a similar experience!
Good luck!
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