Ask hailebop!

I don't like the word confrontation, as for me it conjours up images of yelling matches and somebody slamming the phone down with nothing resolved. You don't want to storm in and make an accusation that will just get her riled up and defensive. You do however need to talk to her. If you are upset and value your friendship, then simply, you need to do something about it, and an honest discussion is the best way to go. You do however have to be careful not to make lots of sweeping generalisations ("You never call me!") and accusations which will put her on the defensive. Explain to her gently that you would like to talk to her, because you are feeling hurt because you feel you make more effort with your friendship than she does. Give her a chance to talk and explain and voice any concerns of her own, and hopefully you should sort it out. Good luck.

Well, that is difficult. He could be just trying to be protective and worries about how people see you, which could be just him caring as a friend. On the other hand, his behaviour is quite over the top and quite like that of a jealous boyfriend. If it was purely him being friendly, it seems like he could easily have said it in a calmer and more constructive manner.

In all honesty, I don't think his saying that he cares about you was a way of saying he wants to get back together. I do however think that he said it because he has some unresolved feelings for you. He's probably telling himself that he just cares about you as a friend (and thinks that he's just being protective as a friend character) but his behaviour indicates that he probably does have some feelings for you remaining. That doesn't necessarily mean he wants to get back together though, as we often harbour strong feelings about exes even when we know we should be moving on and it wouldn't in fact be good for us to get back together.

I do think you should talk to him, whether you are interested in a reunion or not. It seems like he's not really over you because of the way you've described him speaking to you, and if this is the case, you need to talk so you can get along without instances like this where he tries to tell you what to do, as if he were still a posessive boyfriend. Good luck.

It depends on the exact context in which it was said, really. He's saying that he still cares for you, but it's hard to say whether that means he wants to get together or that you could get back together without knowing what you were arguing about. If you've become friends since you broke up, but you are arguing because you aren't that close, he could be just trying to reassure you that he does care about you as a friend. If however you were arguing about your past relationship it seems more likely that he was annoyed that you don't realise that he still cares about you, which might suggest he still has romantic feelings for you.

Don't second guess him. If you aren't sure what he meant, ask him. If you do want to get back together though, be careful, and talk to each other about what went wrong last time first, as it's all too easy to make the same mistakes again. All the best.

It's something I'd be very careful about. If you are 30, three years is nothing. At 14 however, it's a rather large proportion of your life and the difference in maturity between 17 and 14 is significant.

Of course some 14 year olds are more mature than others, and in fact many girls at 14 are of similar maturity levels of 16 or 17 year olds guys. Nevertheless, I would be very, very careful on this one. Those three years might not seem like a lot, and in many respects they aren't, but at this stage in your life, they do mean that he will be at a different stage in his life, and will probably have different experiences and expectations of dating from you. If he's dated lots of significantly younger girls (and at your age, that's anything more than a year or two years younger than him) then I'd also wonder about his own maturity. If he's consistantly going for people much younger than him, it suggests that he's not capable or interested in having relationships with people his own age, and you have to wonder why that is - probably that he's just slightly immature for his age, but possibly that he likes dominating younger more vulnerable girls, and that's somethign you should be wary of.

I'm not saying it can't work, just that I'd exercise caution and take things slowly to make sure you don't get sucked in to anything too serious before you are ready, because a 17 year old used to dating people older and more experienced than you, emotionally as well as physically, may have a tendency to rush things beyond what you are comfortable with.

Above all, be careful and be prepared to adjust your opinion of him after getting to know him better. He may well be a really great guy, but don't be blinded by the glamour of somebody older and more mature and not see his faults. All the best.

You should take the emergency contraceptive ("morning after") pill as soon as you can after having unprotected sex. It's most effective if you take it within 24 hours, but it can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex, it just becomes less effective with time.

You don't want to indimidate this girl by making her feel you need rules about every little thing. Nobody wants to feel like they're writing a buisness contract for household chores. That said however, it is a good idea to know what the other party feels about various things like housework, cooking, noise, houseguests, etc. before you move in and these become issues. With things like music, you may think it's obvious that if there isn't a rule she can always say that your music is too loud, but she might feel bad about doing this unless you let her know that it's cool and how you'd prefer to work. You want to aim for a happy medium between rules about everything and you only realising that you have rather different opinions about something one Sunday at 3am when one of you is about to get very annoyed.

Be honest with your new housemate. Say you don't want to be anal and annoying, but you feel it's a good idea to talk about things like chores pre-emptively so that you both understand each other. It doesn't have to be a battle scene where you hash out exactly which chores each of you do and when, it should just be a discussion - after all, you are both on the same side aiming for conflict free living. With other things like music, say as you feel, that you don't think it's necessary to have rules, but that you want her to know she can come and tell you if its bothering her. Good luck!

The ring is a form of birth control. Like the birth control Pill, you have a week break from the hormones, but you are still covered during that period as long as you restart as normal after 7 days. If you were using the ring as prescribed, which it sounds as if you were, then it's unlikely you are pregnant.

However, given your symptoms I would say that it would be good to take a pregnancy test for your own piece of mind in around 2 weeks (before then would be unreliable), although I would stress that pregnancy seems unlikely in your scenario, and that your symptoms could likely be explained by the stress you are under following this extremely unpleasant and stressful experience. You've taken all the right steps with calling your gynaecologist and arranging a sensible appointment time (some STDs have even longer incubation periods - the HIV virus can not show up in tests for up to 8 months), so all you can do now is wait until then. I might also suggest seeking some counselling, as this has obviously been very difficult for you, and it would probably help you to have some additional help in dealing with the after period and waiting for your tests and results. All the best.

ETA - Here's where I got the information on you being protected by the NuvaRing during your off week from - http://www.nuvaring.com/Authfiles/Images/309_76063.pdf

There are different answers to this question, and they are all pretty silly. First base is usually given as french kissing, and fourth base is full intercourse / penetration. There are different versions of second and third bases - some say that third is anything below the waist, including mutual masturbation (which leaves second base as anything above the waist), whereas others say that third base is just oral sex and second base includes mutual masturbation.

It's not important. Paying attention to these bases encourages the idea that their is a strict progression or that some sexual acts are less serious or important than others. You should be doing what you feel comfortable with with your partner and not worry about how other people would describe it.

Instead of just one day trying to go to bed at a reasonable time, adjust your bedtime gradually. If you've become used to staying up till 2am each night and lying in to 11, you'll find it difficult to suddenly adjust to a very different patern, so do it in stages. Go to bed half an hour to an hour earlier than usual, and set yourself an alarm in the morning. You obviously don't want to practice getting up at 7 when it's not necessary, but it will be good if you set an alarm for 9 or so, and so get used to having to get up when your alarm goes off. If you go to bed at a slightly earlier time each night for a week or so you'll slowly change your sleep patern without feeling wrecked and wanting to sleep in the day. Planning activies, like going for a run or meeting somebody reasonably early in the morning can also help you adjust if your finding it difficult, as it gives you a reason to keep to your targets. Good luck!

There are lots of reasons why some women are reluctant to use birth control, many of which have already been brought up.

Firstly and most obviously, ignorance and denial are real factors. In the US, sex education is woefully lacking in most schools, and most girls simply do not realise just how likely they are to get pregnant if they have regular unprotected sex. Others just ignore it. You may find it difficult to understand how people can just push aside their fears and continue to go about their buisnesses knowing their at risk, but people do it in all areas of their lives: think of all the people who ignore their growing credit-card bills, their workloads piling up, whether their partner has any STDs etc. It's easy for some people to kid themselves and push any negative thoughts to the backs of their minds, even when their are serious consequences.

Then there are practical factors. For young women in the US cost is a prohibitive factor (I live in England, and I can assure you that having to pay for my pills would certainly have influenced my decesion to go on them) especially when you are young and living with your parents.

Another factor is that if you are taking birth control, this can make insisting on using a condom difficult as you are "already protected". It's extremely sensible to use a condom even if you are on birth control because condoms obviously protect against STI's whilst the pill does not, but if a woman is on the pill many guys will try to use this fact to suggest that they should have condom-less sex. If you find it hard to stand up to a boyfriend pressurising you in such a way, it can seem much easier to not go on the pill and so always have a reason to have to use condoms, which actually benefits your sexual health as you are protecting yourself from infection as well as pregnancy. Women might also fear that going on the pill gives them a label that they aren't comfortable with. Taking the pill regularly is different from buying a condom and keeping it "just in case", it's a thing you have to make a consious effort to keep doing, and they may fear that doing so makes them "slutty" even if they haven't actually had sex.

Hormonal contraceptives are also not for everybody. It's not like popping a single paracetomol when you have a headache, it's making a commitment to take a pill at the same time every single day. It doesn't sound a lot, but it only takes a girl missing one pill to risk pregnancy, and for many young girls it's simply easier to rely on a barrier method where you can be certain you're protected, rather than being vaguely sure that you've taken all your pills recently. There are also side effects to taking any hormonal birth control that are worse for some women than others - weight gain, change in breast size and tenderness, moodyness and potential greater risks from certain diseases.

If you mean birth control at all, not just hormonal methods such as the pill, that's harder to answer. Ignorance and denial are factors. Women may dislike condoms for the same reason that men do, that they stop the flow of the moment and reduce sensation. There are in fact many other methods of birth control other than the Pill and condoms, but because sex education in the US is lacking many people do not know the full extent of options, and assume that if they aren't happy with either condoms or the pill, their isn't an option for them.

I think GirlShrink offers good advice - if you aren't sure which guy you want to have sex with, then it's a good idea to wait until you are.

My feeling is that if you want to keep the two boyfriends, then your feelings for each one aren't really strong enough to make sleeping together a good idea. If your relationship with your boyfriend back home is "perfect" and you "couldn't be happier with him", why are you thinking of loosing your virginity to another man? Similarly, if this new man makes you so happy, why do you still have every intention of returning to your boyfriend at home at the end of this fling?

The consequences of sex aren't just physical. It's absolutely your decesion when and who you loose your virginity to, but you should be aware that it will be something that stays with you forever as your first experience, and you don't want it to be something you later regret. If you think that with a guy on a summer fling is the way you want to do it, then fine. But what about your boyfriend back at home? He won't be able to tell you aren't a virgin, as many girls break their hymens ('popping your cherry') doing everyday exercise and activity like riding a bike or horse, doing gym or playing sport, but doesn't he deserve your honesty? Imagine if the situation were reversed, wouldn't you prefer that you in your boyfriend's position knew the whole truth and could make an informed decesion about whether to sleep together or not?

I wouldn't advise sleeping with the guy on holiday, mainly because you seem to think it's a good idea based on what other people think - your family and his friends who say he's very happy rather than whether you in your heart want to do it. Whether you decide to sleep with him or not, I do think you should be honest with your boyfriend at home about what happened, because good relationships are built on honesty and trust. You don't want your first time with him to be built on lies and guilty feelings, so be honest with him and talk about how you want your relationship to be and whether you really want to sleep together. All the best.

To be honest, I don't entirely know. There was certainly no fallout in which I was suddenly demodded, I was just away at the time when the changeover from spacefem to DangerNerd was made, so I guess it seemed like I was inactive. I believe I also had one very low rating which dragged my average down to under the required 3.8, so when this feature was brought it I was automatically demodded. If I had been around I would have known before hand and worked hard to bring the average up, but because I was away and unaware, it led to me getting demodded. I had to work to get my Level 1 status back after this. I let DangerNerd know that I was still interested in being a L2 if he needed the help, but I haven't been readded as of yet. This isn't because DangerNerd or the others don't like me or don't want me on the moderating team, it's just because for me to be reappointed they'd need to decide that firstly, they needed more L2 moderators and secondly, that I was the best person for the job.

Maybe one day I shall be a L2 again, but at the moment I think there are several good candidates who rate lots and have been around awhile, so I certainly don't expect to automatically selected because I've done it before even if they were looking for more L2's.

But thanks for asking, it's nice that somebody noticed I was gone.

Hailey

Headlice have become quite resilient to chemical treatments, making them harder to get rid of. If the chemical shampoo doesn't work, the best way to get rid of them is to use a natural remedy such as a shampoo containing tee-tree (look in your pharmacy for something labelled a natural headlice remedy) and then just to comb them out with a special very fine comb. This takes a reasonable amount of time and needs to be repeated several times to make sure you've removed all the lice and eggs. If your daughters have long and thick hair it's difficult to do it really thoroughly, so take your time and repeat as necessary so that you get rid of all of the eggs, including dead ones.

I think it's important that your honest with your girlfriend, especially about something that important to you in your life like your religion. If your nervous about how she'll react, try exposing it to her gradually. Instead of just announcing it out of the blue, begin by talking to her about something smaller, like a particuarly belief you have or ritual you do. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your beliefs, do don't try to disguise what you really are, but if it's something that's very new to her, expose her gradually to parts of your faith so that she gradually comes to terms with it rather than just hearing the word "Pagan" and having a gut reaction. Good luck.

Is it physically healthy to abstain from sexual practice? Yes. There are health benefits from masturbation in that it can relax people and lower heart rates, but it is certainly not something that you'll feel worse for not doing.

Mentally healthy? That's more of a complicated area, and it depends on a few things.

If you don't have any particular desire or wish to have sex or mastrubate and don't do it, then I can't see how that wouldn't be healthy for you, you'd just be doing what you wanted. The only time I can think of not being sexually active in any way as being mentally unhealthy for you is if you are denying yourself these things despite a strong desire to do them. If you are abstaining from sexual practices only through guilt and negative feelings about your body, then this isn't a particularly mentally healthy outlook. If you deny yourself any realease despite strong desires, you could end up with very ambivalent feelings about sex and sexuality. If all your feelings about sex are tied up with feelings that you musn't do it, repression of ideas and guilt about thinking about sex then you could find that when you do want to enter a sexual relationship, your held back by these mental fears and demons. That's not to say that if you think about sex you should be having sex, just that abstaining because of some strong emotions such as guilt can be emotionally scaring, and you should be careful to be honest with yourself about your feelings and realise that however you do feel is normal.

On the one hand, you need to be honest with both him and yourself about how you feel. If something like this bugs you, you can't pretend it doesn't. However, I think perhaps you should take a step back and try to look at it more objectively. Your boyfriend is at least being very honest with you, even when he knows that you aren't going to be pleased. That's a good thing, which shows that he respects you. It would have been very easy for him to just shrug it off and say "no, we haven't spoken", but he was honest and explained the circumstances to you. As an objective bystander, it also seems his explantion is reasonable. He's respecting your wishes about not talking to her generally, but when it couldn't be helped was polite but no more than that, and then was honest about what happened to you when you asked.

Talk to your boyfriend honestly about how you feel. If you can be honest with each other, you can agree together how you think it would be reasonable to deal with this girl given the past. Good luck.

I think it depends on what your family normally does. If you and your sister in laws family are quite traditional, then I'd opt for 'Mr' and 'Mrs', which of course leaves them room to say "please call me by my Christian name". This is especially true if the people in question are older.

They are your family, which would normally mean you'd call them by their first names, but they are also quite distantly related to you, so I'd exercise caution and address them formally, unless you can be reasonably certain that they'd prefer their first names. If you use their full names and they don't mind they'll correct you, but be impressed with your manners, whereas if you address them too casually, they might feel uncomfortable but won't want to say anything, so it seems better to address them formally.

I really enjoyed it. A lot of people I know took issue with the romance aspect of the books, but I really loved it and thought it was just the right tone. With the darker aspects of the books, I think the lighter plots with the romance really helped bring balance and a sense that life always goes on even in hard times.

I thought it was a real page-turner. It's definitely worth reading the whole series.

I'm a real fan of the brilliant brunette shampoos and conditioners. You won't get hugely drastic results, as it won't change the base colour of your hair, but I found it really worked well at bringing out the shine and improving the condition of my hair. It's definitely worth trying.

If you are put on a birth control pill (BCP), then this will have the effect of both regulating your periods and stopping you ovulating, which prevents pregnancy. All BCP does this, and both comparatively low dosage and high dosage versions will have the same effectiveness at preventing pregnancy (which is over 99% if taken correctly).

There are many different types of BCP which have different levels of hormones. They will all have the the effect of regulating your periods, as you just have a period when you have a break from the hormones. In some versions you stop taking the pills for a week, and in others you take a week of sugar pills. The other effects of BC however vary depending on the person and the particular pill, as drugs interact differently with different people. Weight gain is a possible effect of BC, as are changes in libido, breast tenderness, breast size increase, headaches, and others, of varying commonness. Unfortunately, there is no way to tell how you will react to a particular drug before you take it and which, if any, side affects will be problematic for you. Before being prescribed any form of BCP your doctor will talk you through the various risks and possible side effects so you can make an informed choice. You may find however that you will simply have to try different pills to find one that suits your body and needs best. If the first pill you try makes you gain weight, you can always switch to a different brand. All the best.