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humorist-workshop
summer
m a virgin and its like im supposed to lose my virginity to my boyfriend back home... everything is so perfect and we haved talked about it having sex. before i left for vacations we talked about it and agreed that if it would happen, it had to be after i went back home ... i couldnt be happier with him but now ive been gone a month and i have been dating a guy here.. im with my friends and he even came to have diner with my parents. i already met his and his friends; everyone is so happy that we are together and we see each other everyday. his friends tell me and my friends that they havent seen his so happy with anyone and the truth is that im happy with him. here is the dilema, do i sleep with him or not? i want to but i have a bf back home and if i dont tell him that im not a virgin, can he find out physically? like what other ways can i break my hymen? advise plis ..
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he wont find out physically but you shouldnt have sex with him. especially if you love your boyfriend and dont want to hurt him.
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Here is my advice to you... Ok, You say that you have a perfect relationship with your boyfriend back at home, and now you met another guy. You really need to sit down and think which guy you like more, and honestly chose from there. I don't think that you should have sex with either of them if your are questioning your self. That is not a way to lose your virginity. That just leads to regrets. Sex is supposed to be special and to be with a person that you feel as though you have known all your life, and you are supposed to make that choice with that person, together whether you want to have sex with him or not. You say that you just met this guy a month ago, this new one or what ever.. Why should you rush into having sex, if you have a perfect relationship at home with your other boyfriend. I think that you should wait it out, and see what this leads to. Having sex is not the greatest thing. It leads to a lot of different factors. Pregnancy and diseases being the most important ones. So just use your head, and be careful of what choices you make!
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i wouldnt have sex with him...you are questioning yourself which means that you arent ready. yeah you can break your hymen by putting a tampon in, or fingering yourself....just dont do it if you arent ready!
hope i helped!
emmii`*
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if you ever question having sex with soemone... then you obviously aren't ready for it;. I say don't do it
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I think that considering the fact of you losing your virginity shouldn't be about the guy: it should be all about you. It's who you're comfortable around and it's who you feel more compatible with to give up something so precious and valuable to him. It has nothing at all to do with who you have waiting for you at home. If you feel more compatible with the dude you are with more than the boyfriend at home, then you can tell the boyfriend at home that this isn't working and that you truly do need your space . Or that this relationship isn't taking the right course. You wouldn't be the first b/c other teens do the same thing. You're not married and there's no serious committment. HE won't find out that you're a virgin unless you tell him.
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I'm just responding because I need to be honest with you. Someone said if you tell your boyfriend (back home) all this that he will "understand". But I dont think so. If you're contemplating losing your virginity to a guy you hardly know when you have the so-called "perfect" relationship back home, I doubt your boyfriend is going to understand how you could catch feelings for someone else, Honestly. That's my opinion. I wouldn't lose your virginity to the boy on vacation because obviously if its a vacation boy you won't see him much, nor have you known him very long. I just think you've been swept away by the summer romance and think you care for him more than you really do. Go home, go back to your boyfriend, and keep up that "perfect" relationship. But I dont think you should have sex with him YET, either. If you have to come on an advice website to see whether or not you should have sex - then I dont think you're ready. Sorry if I sounded harsh. But I hope I helped.
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I think GirlShrink offers good advice - if you aren't sure which guy you want to have sex with, then it's a good idea to wait until you are.
My feeling is that if you want to keep the two boyfriends, then your feelings for each one aren't really strong enough to make sleeping together a good idea. If your relationship with your boyfriend back home is "perfect" and you "couldn't be happier with him", why are you thinking of loosing your virginity to another man? Similarly, if this new man makes you so happy, why do you still have every intention of returning to your boyfriend at home at the end of this fling?
The consequences of sex aren't just physical. It's absolutely your decesion when and who you loose your virginity to, but you should be aware that it will be something that stays with you forever as your first experience, and you don't want it to be something you later regret. If you think that with a guy on a summer fling is the way you want to do it, then fine. But what about your boyfriend back at home? He won't be able to tell you aren't a virgin, as many girls break their hymens ('popping your cherry') doing everyday exercise and activity like riding a bike or horse, doing gym or playing sport, but doesn't he deserve your honesty? Imagine if the situation were reversed, wouldn't you prefer that you in your boyfriend's position knew the whole truth and could make an informed decesion about whether to sleep together or not?
I wouldn't advise sleeping with the guy on holiday, mainly because you seem to think it's a good idea based on what other people think - your family and his friends who say he's very happy rather than whether you in your heart want to do it. Whether you decide to sleep with him or not, I do think you should be honest with your boyfriend at home about what happened, because good relationships are built on honesty and trust. You don't want your first time with him to be built on lies and guilty feelings, so be honest with him and talk about how you want your relationship to be and whether you really want to sleep together. All the best.
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So you have two boyfriends. You are already cheating or "playing" both of them. It seems to me that you are pretty young, just by the context clues (sorry if I am wrong on that). But in my opinion having sex at a young age is bad..I personally don't think you should have sex with either one of them until you are older, more mature, and have known them for a long time. I don't think you should lie to your b/f back home either. If you like someone else, it is only fair to let the other guy know this. The worse thing you can do is lead somebody on. I also think that if you think you like both of them, you don't like either one of them enough. Hopefully you do not think you are "in love" with either one of them, b/c by the looks of things it definitely does not seem like you even love either one of these guys. And don't feel pressured to have sex! If you are totally 100% comfortable, and confident that you absolutely positively want to have sex, always have protection! Abstinence is always best, but if this is what you want to do..do it. Just do not lie to anyone, and don't lead anybody on. Think about things first. Who do you think you will be with longer? Who do you like better? and who do you know and trust more? Good Luck!
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Hi Summer.
There a few obscure ways you could break your hymen. Like if you already very athletic - a gymnast or something like that. Sometimes they do it with very rigorous exercise. Very rarely a tampon in a young girl. But is that really the way you want to go?
I think it may be a better idea for you to hold off on the sex until you figure out who you really want to share that special moment with - and in the meantime date who you want to date.
If you are sure that your feelings for this new guy are strong enough - then it may be a good idea to end things with your boyfriend because of course if things were so great than this guy wouldn't have gotten in between the two of you anyway - right?
But just a warning - I wouldn't have sex or start a relationship with a summer fling. If there is no real chance of you seeing this guy when you go back home, then take it for what it is - a summer fling and nothing more.
Good luck duck!
-GirlShrink
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well just talk to him tell him that you kinda ment someone when you went away and tell him you want to be with him but you like the other guy to just be strait with him tell him how you feel he will understand
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