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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
does anybody know a website that you can use to burn music on for free and you dont have to use money
I use limewire all the time, downloading the program on my computer. Although, I have to admit that without high speed, most people say that it's useless.
Well there is this guy at my school who I think is cute and seems to be nice. His locker is right across from mine and I am not in any of is classes. I see him at lunch also. I want him to notice me. When I say notice I don't mean going out with him then and there. But becoming friends if the friendship seems good, then possibly consitering going higher into our friendship(taking it slow). If it doesn't seem possible then we could remain friends. What my question is,is what's the first step into introducing myself(please don't give me any advice letting him know I like him.
Be yourself
Speak when you can
Start conversations with him
Don't try and impress him noticeably. Just talk.
Be cool, casual and grounded. Guys like that.
Oh, and be yourself. (i know i said that already) But guys don't like women that front, unless they're after one thing and one thing only. And that's when they don't care about u. Just be u and you can't go wrong. If he doesn't notice or like it, then he isn't the one and I advise you to not waist your time. But, just try. 8 out of 10 times a guy likes a girl for who she and for the way she is when she is truly herself. And that's proven. Hope I was some help. Bye.
http://a82.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/6/l_4fc7270b9e29a2a0cdb1aee01c040541.jpg
Are you fishing for a compliment or what? Are you really low in your self-esteem? I'm not trying to take the mickey out of you darling, but I'm just simply trying to understand why you want to know if you're pretty or not. Our opinions about your prettiness DOESN'T MATTER. The only opinion that's worth something is YOURS. And you need to know that. It'll take other things to work out issues such as self-esteem or etc. I hope I was some help, although I'm not for sure.
Oh, and I didn't visit your myspace. I'm sure you're very pretty. YOU have to know that, FOR YOURSELF.
I recently met a wonderful, mature guy in his forties (I'm in my thirties) and we spent a great night together and a long late breakfast the next afternoon in which we told each other quite a lot about our past relationships. I divorced four years ago after a marriage of seven years. This marriage was to my first boyfriend, my first sexual experience, and turned out to be somewhat abusive. I tried to get out of the marriage twice, first by simply telling him I wanted out. I stayed that time because I couldn't handle how much it seemed to hurt him to leave. The second time, I went off to an artists' colony for a month and actually cheated on him, the first time I'd ever done this before or after. I told him immediately and it was the end of our marriage. One of my friends thought the cheating was the only way my husband would have let me go.
So I told the new guy all of this. He had said something about my being mature enough to get out of the marriage or something that I thought wasn't quite right, wasn't quite honest if I agreed, so I told him of the cheating so he'd really know what happened and told him I suffered untold guilt about it for a long time.
Well now I'm wondering if I made a mistake, if my desire for honesty will simply scare him off instead. He took what I said very kindly, seemed to understand, but now I'm worried. Maybe it's just that I'm waiting for that call to see him again that's gotten me so worried. In any case, would you recommend this kind of honesty on my part in the future (on future dates, if this one doesn't work out)? Shouldn't I keep things open? Or am I just shooting myself in the foot.
Thanks,
handwringing
Babe, you did the right thing. You went with your gut instinct first and foremost, and you can never go wrong by doing that. Second of all, you let him know then and there that you are an honest woman. A lot of women wouldn't have him what ACTUALLY happened, so the fact that you did so (when you didn't have to)says a lot of positive things about your courage. You're brave and bold. It lets him know that he can trust you.
I think that you should talk to him about it. Mention it again and let him know EXACTLY HOW & WHAT you feel about what you told him. Let him know how much you want him to trust you, and let him know that you don't want to scare him off by simply telling him the truth. Try to get some verbal response on his *take* of this and if it's not much, then don't push it. Don't make the issue any bigger than it already is. It's probably nothing. But find out anyway. That's the only way to attain peace of mind. OK, bye.
i love gothic stuff but i am not gothic! i always wear it my parents and relatives get pissed at me. everyone at school says im gothic or emo it drives me crazy. or im a self manipulator but that used to be true i guess. i used to cut and band myself but im not anymore. i left all my old friends or they left me but i stayed with one he became my best friend then we loved eacother then it went to hell. then i went with all the punky gothic people but their not that extreme im probly the worse...they are true best friends to me. now that i write all this it does seem true about me but what can i do so they dont call me fuckin gothic or cutter or self manipulator?! i dont really care what people think of me but this draws the line. what can i do? i dont have many friends and their never in my classes only a few. how can i make and keep friends.
Don't worry about them. I know that you're like that $h!T is not going to work. But they'll only get worse if they actually discover that you care. Treat them the way they are, which is really that they're not worth your precious time. And if they're not worth your time, darling, don't spend your time and energies focusing on them when you could be focusing on something else that's much more important in your life. You sound like a busy person, so don't let them get to you. Just because they are insecure and are not content with who they are does not mean that you have to stoop to their level or join the flock in any way, shape or form. You're better than that. Hope I was some help and have a lovely day.
First I'll give you a brief description of my hair
Length: Just about 1mm above shoulders
Color: Dull Blondish brownish
Type: Frizzy/Wavy
ok i have wavy frizzy hair naturally and all the "controlling products that i use barely help, so please don't suggest anymore.
but i just need to know what are some ways to make hair look neat and pretty, it doesnt have to be like superstar but just something simple to do in about 30-50 minutes. straightening my hair because it my hair is about 5 layers thick and shoulder lenth straightening it usually takes 2 hrs!!
thanks and i know this can be a difficult question for my hair type.
Most girls with your hair type that's very hard to control because of frizz and/or bushyness (since it can be both) look absolutely beautiful when they try ringlets with their hair. The most beautiful things about these ringlets are that they can be spiraling down very tightly or they can be done very loosely. They look very cute and they make you look younger, assentuating your face and hair texture. The best thing about it is that it doesn't make you look ridiculous because the style is made for people with hard to control hair. So, if you want, try the tight/loose ringlets or spiraling curls (since they're the same). That's if you find them to your liking. Hope I was some help. Bye.
I have this friend, ok, lets call her x. And her boyfriend, J. X and J have been going out for a month. They are both 14. X is very primiscous and likes to make out and stuff, which is fine with me. Like, they kissed the first day they were going out. They go over to eachothers houses all the time. And x (my best friend) said she would never lie to me. She knows how conservative i am. I think having sex at 14 is disgusting. I told her that and she said, dont worry im still a virgin. Then, j's best friend told me that they have had sex like, four times since they started dating. I havent told her yet, cuz she'll get mad. I havent talked to her since i heard about it, i wanna tell her, but i dont wanna loose my bff. WHat should i do? HELP!!!
If you care about her, then you need to tell her what you heard. And you need to let her know that she can tell you anything w/out fear of being judged or labeled as something harsh. She doesn't need that from her bestfriend. You're supposed to love and support her THE WAY THAT SHE IS.Yes it may be against your better judgement to do so but it's her life, and she must live it the way she sees fit. It's not yours but hers, and I quite aggree w/ you.
Just tell her what you know and ask if it's true. Promise that you won't tell , and tell her that you won't criticize her if she has. Why would she be angry w/ u , unless you weren't able to come to terms w/ what she may have done? And if that's so, then maybe you should rethink your friendship. However, I don't think it'll come to that at all. I think you're stressing out too much. You simply have to let your friends live their lives the way they see fit and live yours the way you see fit. Just support her and don't criticize her. Accept her no matter how much snogging or etc. Bye.
K so i dated this guy for like a month untill yesterday, hes realllly hot & cool to hang with... & tues. night we went out to a really nice dinner with the people he works with. We wore dresses, suits, ect. & after his co workers went to a cabin on a lake 2 hours away.. I didnt go kas i need to get home kas i live an hour away. anyway... i told him to be good & all & it seemed like we were ok ...but then the next day he texts me that he cant b with me anymore kas he got drunk & lost his virginity to some other girl.. i didnt really get all that upset..i didnt cry or anything.. i was just like ok.. thanks for telling me see you at tcu in the fall... so now were not talking & this friend of the family was like well you can still b with him if you want ...its just sex..no big deal.. & now im confused...i dont want to be with him anymore...but do i have the right to b mad at him? it was only a month but we were exclusive? bleh it makes me so frustrated..anyway any advise on my situation? thanks
I'm not sure what you want advice on, SPECIFICALLY. However, I think you're right to just leave him be and see him when you see him. You obviously don't care for him, otherwise you would've responded differently to his news. So don't let others make a big deal out of this b/c it certainly seems that you weren't stressing it. You don't want to be w/ him b/c if you did, then that would've been obvious; you would've actually been wounded by his cheating. But you weren't so don't stress it. You don't care for him, and you have the right to be angry w/ and at him. Don't worry over someone you don't care about, and don't let others blow things up to something that they aren't. I'm quite sure you have enough drama to be getting on w/ in your life. You seem fine.
whats the name and artist of this song:
it goes like this.
"circle circle dot dot guess u got their cootie shot" or something like that.
thanks
Stupid question, and this isn't what this site is for. Why don't you just google it instead. If you took the time to post it on this site, then I'm sure you can type those cunning words again into one of the search engines, specifying that it's a song. Honestly. They'd be more proficient.
13/f
I asked for someone's opinion and I got answers saying rude things. I don't want rude answers. What can I do so these people will stop saying VERY rude things?
A lot of people on this site are rude b/c
1st) People want to help others w/ serious matters only and feel angry when people ask stupid, childish things, when compared to something like suicide, relationships, and etc. Trivial questions are more prone to get rude answers b/c people feel they are a waste, which isn't what this site if for.
2nd) People can just be rude and you'll have to deal w/ that.
What can you do to stop getting rude answers?
1st) Stop asking questions which seem trivial and small. And don't ask questions for peoples opinions, but for their advice and help. This isn't a forum.
2nd) Phrase your questions better. Enhance your troubles, not embellish them, and just state how it's affecting you. Don't show weakness. Just ask for help on how to solve your troubles.
3rd) Be as blunt and forward as you can be. Only add details which are necessary.
heres the thing... i have a friend that likes me, and shes a girl and so am i. And im not Bi that i know of i mean when i think of ever being in a relationship with a girl i just dont see it even being possible i mean i cant even picture it. But i think i definitly have to like her though, because i find myself waiting for her to come online and anytime the phone rings i hope its her and when im going to see her i get exited.. and all that stuff.. whats going on with me, i dont understand, im not bi.. than why am i have these feelings?
Maybe you are and you're just in denial. However if that's not the case, then maybe you're simply in MUCH need of a friend. People act like this when they're lonely and can really get on well with one person in particular. Do you do this when others call or with her in particular?
However, there are sites where you can go on to test maybe if you're bi, as you put it. I'm not saying that you know, that they'll diagnose you for certain with whatever this is,which I don't think is very serious at all. At least when it comes to your sexuality. However, these sites help you identify signs and tendencies that you probably hadn't even noticed that you were prone to do yourself. It wont do any harm to do some research which will help you. I just think that this girl could be a best friend of yours. HOWEVER, your title was I DON'T KNOW IF IM BI. So, hopefully that'll help some.
15/f. so there's this boy that i really like and one of my friends told him i liked him by mistake and he didn't say anything. but he told my other friend he liked me. we always talk on myspace but he never tells me wat he feels. wat should i do to find out if he likes me or not.
ASK. Trust me, it'll work. I did it and I was in your position three days ago. And tell him easily that you aren't into him like that if that's what you're feeling b/c it's not right to string someone along. Bye.
I went out with this guy and he is the one who broke up with me, becuase we are in diffrent countries for the summer. He still likes me, but we've went out about 4 times. And he is the one who breaks up with me. I told him that I didn't want to go threw him breaking up with me again, because it is really anoying... He lkes me now, and I kind of like him, but I don't want to tell him, because all my friends and other people in my school are telling me don't go out with him again... He isn't right for you.
Now I don't know what to do... What happends if I like him a lot again and he still likes me... He said he wouldn't ask me out, but I might want to go out with him.... I'm the kind of person who gets asked out, I don't ask 'em out... I've had about 2 boyfriends so far. 4 from this guy who I'm telling you about and another person who I dumped because he was too shy around me! :\
Please Help Me!!
People are right when they tell you to leave this guy alone. And if all that he's done and put you through, the four times that you've been going out and breaking up with you; and you still can't resist him, then I don't know what will do it then. Just remember the pain and negitivity he caused you and hopefully that'll shield you. From what you've written, he doesn't deserve you and you shouldn't waste YOUR PRECIOUS TIME on him. That's for those who care. Use the strength that you would've never thought that you had and just forget about him. Let him go. There will be others. And don't try so hard, that may be your problem. Don't try so hard when it comes to relinquishing those feelings. You're letting go b/c it's something that u need to do for u. Don't let him continue to fool you. Fool you once, shame on them, and fool you twice shame on you. Don't let it happen again, be strong, and don't try so hard when it simply comes to letting him go b/c your needs are the only thing that matters. And you need this to happen. Bye...
well, i have acne on my back and on my chest, more on my back though.. i'm like super self concious about it. and i want to get something to help make it go away, but i talked to my mom about it and she said i should be happy the way i am and learn to live with what i look like. ughh! i wanna be able to wear whatever i want and not have to worry about acne.. is there a way i can convince my mom into letting me buy something to get rid of it, i would really like it gone before school starts up again. Also, is there any products that you would recommend?
thanks in advance.
Pro-active would help the acne on your face and everywhere else, and you probably shouldn't drink soda's much at all b/c that only contributes to acne. However, I think that your mother is right. Being content and complacent w/ yourself just the way that you are is very important b/c there's just going to be another problem from so on. Just learn to love yourself THE WAY THAT YOU ARE, and embrace all that's apart of you which is a contributing factor to ones sexuality and I don't mean gay, straight or bisexual. BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF OR YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TRULY FIND YOURSELF or significant other. Hope I was some help. Bye.
ok i had sex the day after i was supposed to get my period but i didnt get it.. we had sex without a condom and he accidentally cam inside me. but i got my period the next day. could i still be pregnant?
I've heard of this happening before and the outcome did come down to the girl remaining pregnant. Things happen in weird scenarios and coincidences. All I can say is look for the signs and just pray that you're not. And next time, MAKE SURE THAT HE WEARS A CONDOM.
ever since we were both single, my best friend and i became friends with benefits.. what do you think are the chances of it ever turning into an actual relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend)?
There are a lot of things which depends on that to be honest. For instance, if you could really imagine yourself in a relationship with this person in the first place. However, I think that you really do need to think about your friend's feelings more than your own. I mean, you already know how you're feeling about this person, and I'm quite sure that you know exactly where you want to go with this person. So, my response to you is this. The chances of your current predicament turning into an actual relationship depends on whether your friend is the type to get him/herself into a relationship b/c some people aren't really the dating type. And there are some who are simply satisfied with the way things are, especially if they're those layed-back go-with-the flow-type. However, you never really know what a person is going to do until you're willing to state what and how you're feeling to those that you love. Pondering your chances, while it's smart and understandable, is merely a waste of precious time that could be ticking away the time with your possible significant other.
Okay well im a 14 year ols female and my boyfriend think we are ready to have sex and i was wondering , what do you think i can do to pleaseure him
First, honey, you need to establish if pleasing him is what you really want to do. And if it is what you want to do, then are you doing it b/c you want to? Or are you simply doing it b/c you're afraid that you'll lose him? If you're going to do something like this, which is a big step, then you need to establish where you are emotionally and whether you're satisfied with your questionable desires to pleasure your boyfriend. To me, you're simply too young. But, if you want to do it, then make sure that if and when you decide to do it, that your heart or mind has no regrets or quarrels about your actions. You must think like this, for it may bother you later. And then, you must always think about the consequences of your simply pleasuring him.
You know your boyfriend and you know what pleasuring him means. Sex or oral sex, basically. The question is are you ready to have sex b/c you said," my boyfriend think we are ready to have sex...". Question is, have you established if you're ready to do so, because it's your body your life and your choice. And anyone that cares about you shouldn't make you feel, at least an inkling, that you have to pleasure them in order to keep them. Someone that cares about you wouldn't make you feel like that, even if they don't know that they're making you feel as such. Just make sure that you're ready emotionally and physically. Hope I was some help and bye.
ok so is it true that guys like it when they have to chase a girl.. n work for it? if that makes any sense
Yes, it's true. Guys do rather enjoy the hunt for their prey more when their prey puts up a good challenge. It makes it all the more intriguing and interesting. However, guys, well that is experienced rational and mature men, are able to recognize when they're being played around w/ for some time. And experienced rational men, while enjoying the challenge itself, like a womanly response to their male vitality or woes. Not a childish one, although I believe they'd understand fully if you weren't exactly experienced in the area in which I speak, which ranges from kissing to a mere hug and so forth. Yes, they love the challenge. But it should always be so much more than that, although that should always be remembered as an essential element in the game of love, which is what I like to call it. Hope I was of some help dear, and bye.
im really confused about those pictures of tyra banks on how she's fat, is that true? because when i see her on TV she's skinny. thanks
You have to think when the rumors of her being "fat" became published, which was roughly around late April and the beginning of may. Or at least, that's when the media got into a frenzy over it all. Tyra herself has commented that she's had people who she thought were her friends and loved ones, commenting on her weight and the rumors of the press. And these comments from those who were supposed to be sentimental to her? Nevertheless, you have to consider the time frame which those pictures and rumors were released and the timeline of the episodes that you're watching, because the timeline of the picture release date and the timeline for the episodes that you're watching, may be totally different, not making her seem slightly overweight, which she was. I really could care less because she's still beautiful as hell and well, it's time that the whole world come to accept the fact that no woman really has a perfect body, no matter what others may think. So, hope I was some help and bye.
I've asked about 6 of my friends to go to the movies with me. REJECTED! all busy.. so
Well, do you go see a movie ALONE?
i feel little weird.. because I always see someone with at least 2 people with them.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a movie by yourself. Perhaps you feel that it makes you a loser or something but really it doesn't. In life, we must learn to stand by ourselves before we stand amongst others. Even those that we regard with the deepest sentiments in our hearts. Just b/c you usually go to the movies w/ 2 people, well, think of it as something new, like an adventure. And you may never know, you may have better luck to meet some one that may become something to you in the future. So think about it and I hope I was some help. Until next time, if there's a next time, bye.