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Website: 'Verbal Slapstick'
Gender: Male
Location: Beneath a steel sky
Occupation: Slacker
Age: 23
Member Since: December 13, 2004
Answers: 198
Last Update: March 29, 2010
Visitors: 14424

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I'm 16/f. Theres this guy(let's call him bob) and weve been friends for 2 years now. He liked me all last year but I had a boyfriend and whenever I was interested in bob, he wasn't interested in me. We were at the same school and we were pretty much best friends. It's been around two months since I switched schools and we are no where as near as good of friends as we used to be. I talk to him every once in a while and now I realized I REALLY REALLY like him. He's coming to my house in two days. My best friend(a girl) will also be here. How do I know if he likes me or how do I give him a hint that I have feelings for him without making it that obvious?

Why are you worried about making it obvious? I mean, I think I can guess - it'll be pretty embarrassing if it turns out he's not into you at all - but what happens if you miss your shot entirely? It'd kinda suck if you didn't tell him you liked him and then you carried on drifting apart.

So I suppose my advice is to use your friend. She can quiz him a little without it being too obvious, and she can definitely hint that you're interested too. Then she can report back to you and you don't have to expose yourself too much.

But basically, if you have one of those 'moments' where it looks like something might happen, then go for it. Just say what you feel.



Hey y'all. Well, let me give you some background information. I recently got accepted into Cal State Long Beach in CA. And I got into their EOP program. For you people who don't know what EOP is it's: Each EOP student is assigned to a counselor who is a guide through the ins and outs of academic life. EOP can refer you to the University Learning Center (ULC) for tutoring. The ULC employs a staff of student tutors in every major subject area to help you improve your performance in class. The University Learning Center sponsors a variety of seminars and workshops to help you learn how best to learn. Sessions cover such topics as test taking, note taking, time management, goal setting, computer use and software, career planning, and other helpful topics. Professional counselors and graduate student advisors are available to assess and evaluate your academic and personal needs. Counseling staff will treat you as an individual, taking into account your physical, economic, social, and cultural environment.

So, one of the requirements is to have a face-to-face meeting with your counselor. It has to be a one hour meeting in which I have to ask her questions.

Does anyone have any ideas to what I can ask her?

Here are some examples:
- How do I choose classes?
- Do I qualify for Financial Aid?
- How long will it take for me to graduate?
- What classes should I be taking for a psychology major?

Thanks in advance for the help!

First off, congratulations for getting accepted.

Other things that I thought might be useful:

- What if you decide to change classes or your major? Is there a way of doing that or are you locked in?

- How do you contact your counselor?

- What's the first step to take if you start to feel overwhelmed?

- What is expected of you academically during your first semester/ year? Grade boundaries, deadlines, etc?

I'd also ask some questions that don't relate directly to academia, for example, where your accommodation will be/ what to do if you don't like your roommate etc. You probably know a lot of this stuff already but I found that the non studying side of uni could be just as stressful as the academic side! If this sort of thing isn't in your counselor's job description, they'll be able to recommend who to talk to.

Hope that helps, peace.


Hey i am a 19/f and for some reason i do get tired a lot. But i've noticed lately i get tired at the same time of the day. I take medicine for ADHD, focalin. And even when it wears out i get tired. But when i don't take it i still get tired the same time of the day like around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. What's wrong with me? I think it has to do with my diet, which consists of fast food, which i've cut down some what. But could there be other reasons possibly? thanks in advanced

If your diet consists primarily of junk it's entirely possible that you're missing something important. The most obvious one would be iron, lack of which can lead to anemia - the most common symptom of which is tiredness. I'd go to the doctor for a blood test; they can tell you if you're anemic and proscribe iron supplements, or let you know if there's something else missing from your diet.


ok i know this probably sounds stupid but i have to go and buy condoms but i dont exactly know what size to get by guy hes black so hes pretty big lol but then again im not a dick expert so what size do you think would be the safest for my man

I'd say get some regular, get some large. And get extra safe/strong ones in those sizes, just to be on the safe side. I wouldn't worry TOO much, condoms have quite a lot of stretch, so they ought to fit pretty snug regardless of size.


The way I see it, everyone has a nice tan, and I just dont seem to cut it. My legs are white, and for the longest time i have just been covering up with jeans, and I have a new love interest whom i would really like to impress by showing a small amount of leg or trying a skirt. All i am asking for is a really quick way to tan and perhaps your opinion on the best tanning lotion to speed up the process. i have tried laying out but in the climate i live in, it is dangerous to stay out for to long and this problem has been bugging me for a while so i am in desperate need of advice which i will undoubtably be grateful for!

Hah, I'm not sure why you picked ME to answer this question but I'll give you my opinion. For a start I'm a guy so I don't know anything about whats on the market but in my opinion fake tan is a bit of a no-no. I get the intent, but I think its WAAAY to easy to go overboard.

HOWEVER, my girlfriend shares your lament, and she uses a moisturiser with a built in tanning pigment. Its good because instead of just slappin' on the colour, you slowly build it up over a few days, so it looks a lot more natural. I THINK its made by Boots, or maybe Dove, but if you're an American thats probably no good to you. I don't think it's be that hard to find a similar product though, so something like that is what I'd go for if I were you.

Cheers for the question, peace out.


I am embarrassed about being a loner. I remember when i was alone at school i over heard this girl says i was such a loner then i walked a way and she looked at me and laugh. what can i do so it doesn't look so bad. i want to make friends but no one wants to. I don't consider myself to be a loner and I don't want to be alone. right now I really don't care if i have no friends i think i never cared for years.

Ok firstly if you don't consider yourself a loner and you don't WANT to be alone, then you aren't a loner. Secondly, there isn't a huge amount you can do. I know that seems like a sucky answer but if you make a huge effort to get friends it might backfire on you. People can be jerks like that- they judge people for 'trying too hard' or some shit.

All I can advise is to work hard on the relationships that you do have. Don't try to rush or push things, just put in the effort to the relationships. Trust me, as annoying as it is to have people judge you and whisper about you behind your back, you'll be better off with a selct group of friends you can count on, rather than a load of people who check the boxes but you hardly know.


If you were to get high/smoke pot about 2 times, how would a doctor be able to tell?

I heard you just pee in a cup and they can tell from that. How long should you wait until you're all clear? and does smoking 2 times have any affect on that?

I doubt a doctor would be able to tell just by looking. Most of the obvious symptoms disappear after usage, normally taking up to a day. After that it ought to be pretty difficult to detect, provided you've had a wash and plenty of sleep.

The basic chemical urine test will probably look for THC. Sorry but there isn't really a stable guide as to how long it will be detectable from a urine test- THC and its byproducts have a detectable life from three to up to thirty days. On top of THAT, most of the chemicals found in your average doobie can be detected through other means, most notably the testing of hair. Cannabis byproducts can be found in hair for months after the initial usage. Basically, if your gonna get tested, you wanna hope you've got a good long time since your last smoked out- or alternatively just come clean about it.


Is it bad to have confidence and think you are pretty?

This is coming from someone who had low confidence for a large number of years. I would never call myself pretty.

but this is a new year and the past is left behind.

and I'm a lot happier now. It's scaring me I guess. I'm happy when I go out and I smile ...and feel pretty?

Is that bad?

I mean.. confidence in everything.. that you think you are good?

It feels.. really weird/wrong.

If you've come from a period of low self-esteem, I guess it isn't odd that you'd start questioning yourself when you started feeling better.

It might feel weird, but it isn't wrong! You should be proud of yourself for making a fresh start.


So i've got blood in my stool.

it's not really in my stool. it's more like anal bleeding. the toilet bowl water wasn't red but .. yeah.

I have had hemorrhoids... is that what happened?

I'm a young teenager too!

Why is this happening to me? It's scaring me.

Is there some fiber pill to take?

I have stopped drinking soda and I only drink water now. I have for about 5-6 months and I rarely ever eat junk food.
I am rarely ever constipated.

Look, I'm sure that plenty of people on the site will be able to give you good diagnoses on your particular condition but seriously- go to a doctor.

regardless of whats wrong with you a doctor is a)the only person qualified to tell and b) the only one who can prescribe something to fix it.

Your condition sounds like it could be a little embarrasing but if it was bad enough to write on here about, surely its bad enough to get checked? You dont have to tell anyone but the doctor whats up. I'm sorry that wasn't really the answer you wanted, but my advice is go get it seen to.


I've always wondered if it was safe to take my ipod with me while I'm in the tanning bed.. does anyone know any info about that? is it safe?

Hmm, good question. My first point would be to ask the manufacturer of the bed (if its yours) or the people at the salon (if its not) because they're likely to know. My own opinion is that its probably not ok. I know you aren't supposed to leave iPods in strong sunlight, partly cos of the heat but I also think you might damage the screen. My advice? Leave it out.


Okay everything I do I just can't get this guy top notice me, I'll start a conversation, but he just ignores me. I feel invisable around him, but I like him soo much, please help!

Like I've said before, trying too hard is just going to ruin things. You'll be over-bearing and you'll make him uncomfertable. It might be better to pick your opportunity to start talking to him. If you have the same friendship groups then hanging around him might be enough for a while. If you can find a way of being in his company without directly having to talk to him then do it. That way you can take your time and he can get comfortable with your presence without having to rush things. Hope that all made sense, I have a wicked case of flu.


Okay, not guy trouble this time. Everyone thinks I'm this happy never said goody miss two shoes girl. but the truth is I smile and laugh a lot because on the inside I feel like crying, I rarely eat. I've tried to cut a few times but then felt ten times worse. I have hardly any friends, and all my mom does is scream her head off at me and then act perfect in front of other people, sometimes I just want to crawl into a ball and die, I know I won't but sometimes it is just so hard. Every weekend I sit home and do nothing. When i get home from school i sleep or read. People will talk about parties or plans in front of my face. like last Thursday we were dissecting a crayfish and one of my "friends" begged me to work with them then in science she totally blew me off for this popular kid and made up this lame excuse. And people around are so fake they say i'm their frined then the next minute ignore me or miss popular. i hate it!

I'm not sure if this is what you want to hear or not, but there really isn't a fix-all answer to any of these problems.

It sounds really patronising to say 'it's because you're a teenager' but hear me out. This part of your life can be particularly trying because you have the worst balance of needs and self-responsibility. You want to be independent, but you have to live with your parents. You want to choose your own friends but are forced to fit in by the school system. I used to feel so frustrated that people were expecting more of me but seemingly not giving much in return.

Truth is, you grow out of it. Again it sounds patronising but I don't mean it the way you probably think. Firstly, the older you get the easier it is to start liking your parents again. Your mum is watching you grow up, watching you start to make your own way in the world, which can be scary for a parent. You're starting to question her judgments and test her boundaries, and she's going to react to that, doubtless. It'll all change when you move out, but in the mean time, shouting isn't going to solve anything. Do your best to remain calm when she's yelling at you. I always find that I can use my anger to MAKE myself stay cool, because I can focus on it. Try not to shout back, and pick your battles. Basically- you can't beat you parents at an arguement so dont even try. The only thing to do is back off, wait till they cool down, and try again.

Second, you grow out of school. Hardly any friends? How many do you have? I can honestly count my friends on the fingers of one hand. There was a period when I thought I had lots. (Tellingly it was back in school) I ended up stabbed in the back, hurt, ignored, lied to or ditched by the vast majority. Don't set too much stock on how many friends you have or how popular they are. All the kids with massive friend groups, all the 'popular' ones, in five years they ain't gonna mean shit, and most wont even remember the others. Keep a few good friends close, and you'll be set.

The rest? Well, here's my worst Advicenators answer ever- you just have to get through it. Good days, bad days, you have to treat them all the same. What I will tell you for sure is that if you dwell on it, you will get worse. This is why self harm is a poor defence strategy for coping with depression. Dwell on your problems and they mount up. The only way you can really get past them is to be proactive. List the things that are wrong with your life, just like you did for me. then make another list about how you are going to fix things.

You know who might help? Your mum. If you can find the strength to tell me all this, you should talk to her about it too. Just say to her what you said to me. If she's any kind of mother at all she'll provide way more human comfort than I ever could.

There isn't much more that I can say, other than 'have courage.' Take heart, life sucks, but you can get through and make a good go at it. Hell, I've never met you, but I already have a lot of faith in you.


Okay new topic, I have like no guy friends at all. I really want some just because its nice to be able to talk to some one who isn't a girl, so what are some good ways to strike up conversations?

Wow I have a regular caller! I feel so proud.

Anyways, it can be hard to strike up a conversation at the best of times, especially with someone who has no common interests. If you are in the same place at the same time, as long as you are polite I don't see why you can't start talking to someone at any time, but it's certainly easier if you have something to talk ABOUT.

Pick your situations well- if you are somewhere you like being (ice rink, library, particular shop, wherever) chances are the people there too will have at least one interest in common with you and that gives you a topic to talk about.

I find the best ways to start a conversation are generally a question or a compliment. Sometimes it can be both e.g.- 'I really like your shoes, where did you get them?' From there you can find another topic to talk about related to where you are and what you are doing. Then, just introduce yourself. If your looking to keep someone interested in talking, say a little about yourself but remember to keep asking about them too.

Two things, numero uno- don't be pushy. If people think you are making a big effort to talk to them, they might think you're weird. If the conversation dies on its own, just let it happen. Say, 'it was nice to meet you' and leave it at that. Then if you bump into them again you know them to greet them.
Second, the second I think I HAVE to say something- i freeze up. Don't put too much thought into it, just be natural.

Hope this helps, peace out.


can anyone give me a list of axed tv shows that have been on in the past 2 maybe 3 years? thanks so much

Uh, Firefly, Sliders, Space: Above and Beyond, Dark Angel, Tru Calling, Wonderfalls, er... Boston legal go the axe. Futurama got cancelled but might come back, Family Guy got cancelled and DID come back, Arrested Development, Charmed I think. Malcolm in the Middle, Star Trek: Enterprise

Man, these mostly seem to be Fox shows!


Hey it is me again. I was wondering what is most guys preferrence in eyes? Do they like the color icey blue?

Hah, cheers for coming back. Honestly it's a totally specific preference, you'd have to ask the guy in question. Also it may not always be a real big factor- the girl I like has icy blue eyes but I think I prefer green. There's not way of telling generally, sorry, although blue eyes can be lovely.


hey well im a 15/f and i was wondering what a inter faith realtionship? cuz there's a show on mtv called true life and it says in the info interfaith relationship and i was wonderin ewhat that is.. i know it sounds stupid bt could someone please tell me what that is thnx byee!!

I would assume it is a relationship between two people of different religious faiths e.g. a christian in a relationship with a muslim or someone who's jewish dating a buddhist. That sorta thing.


Okay, I figure since you are a guy you can help. I was wondering, what is the first thing that guys notice about girls? Also so they prefer girls who dress slutty or like who don't show anything?

The first thing? Alas, it's probably physical attractiveness in broad terms. If it's the first time they meet a girl, most guys will look at their figure, followed by their face. It sounds rude or shallow, but girls do it too- you look at the most obvious physical points first. So yeah, they'll look at your body first, then your face. The consensus seems to be- boobs, then eyes. If you draw attention to your chest, that's where most people will look first, but your eyes are the most important part of your face. Any human being will read a lot from another persons eyes (I am also a sucker for girls with nice eyes.) Next on the list is probably your expression- it sounds stupid but people will judge a lot about your character based on your initial expression when they first meet you- whether you look open or guarded.

Hmmm... the slutty thing. I guess I have to be honest and say of course guys prefer slutty. Guys like flesh- the more you show the more immediately interested they will be, and that counts for pretty much all men. Having said that, are they likely to judge you on how you look? If you look 'slutty' then they may dismiss you as such, respect you less and ultimately treat you worse. Girls will probably feel the same way (fuck it, girls are WAY worse). It sounds like a copout answer but there are ways to show off your natural advantages without baring acres of flesh.

That last point is also quite important- if you can be sexy without being slutty guys will fall over for you. It's all about being subtle- dress to make yourself feel attractice (rather than wondering about other people), and you come off as sexy.

If I were to give definate advice, I'd say if there is a boy you want to notice you, don't let your physical features do all the talking. If you are friendly and cool with him him will definately 'notice' you, and will also probably think more of your physical appearence than if he were just staring at your rack from afar.

Long answer for a tough question. Good luck.


Ok so i wanted to know if anyone knows any good techno/electronic music if so please and thankyou

Paul Van Dyke- For an angel
Tori Amos/Arman Van Helden- Professional Widow
Underworld- Cowgirl
Bomfunk MCs- Freestyler
Anything by Aphex Twin, Faithless or the '2 many DJs compilations'

um... Chemical Brothers, Basement Jaxx, The Prodigy, Pendulum for sure. maybe stuff like daft punk?

Was that any help? let me know.
Peace out.


Read below before answering the questions.
1. Is it wrong of me to be upset at my sister?
2. Should I have my sweet sixteen alone or with her? If it's alone I can only invite 50 people. If it's with her I can invite 50 and she can invite 50. I'm planning on having a few crashers too. My parents don't want the party to be big because I had a huge bat mitzvah.
3. A close friend of mine also had an idea...we send out separate invitations and my party starts 2 hours earlier and they end at the same time.

15f. I have an older sister who's currently a senior in high school (only 18 months older than me). When she's around my friends, she commands all the attention away from me and says stuff to embarrass me or just make everyone ignore me. She doesn't try to hurt me on purpose, but she likes the attention. I think it's really unfair. I had a talk with her about it last night because she wants to combine parties for my sweet sixteen and her graduation. She had a sweet sixteen already. For once, I want the spotlight on me. When she's there, I can't get that. If I'm about to hook up with a guy or something, she'll ruin it by taking me away. If she likes my friends she makes them her friends and if she doesn't like them she tries to get me not to be friends with them. I told her all this last night when I was trying to convince her not to be mad at me for wanting my own party and she's like "It's not my fault, but I'll try." She didn't try. Today she told me about how one of my camp friends who PROMISED that he'd always be closer to me because we're close in age IMed her last night and talked to her about something. It was trivial, but it pissed me off. I did this theater thing over the summer and I spent all day with the same people. I've known this particular guy for years. My sister didn't get into this theater program, and she told me how the guy said he considered her a part of the cast. She wondered why I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh because that wasn't funny and it wasn't what I wanted to hear! She met all my camp friends when I had a cast sleepover at my house and as usual, basically stole the attention from me and made the whole cast love her, even becoming closer with the guy I liked than I was. And she doesn't understand why this upsets me because she doesn't have that many friends of her own. But does that give her the right to steal mine?

Please try to answer the above questions. Sorry for ranting. Thanks.

First question: yes and no. I know that's a rubbish answer. I mean, like you said your sister probably isn't trying to be malicious or spiteful in what she's doing so you can't really get that mad, but I know EXACTLY what you mean by all this. I'm the middle kid in a big family and I had two older brothers of similar ages who did the exact same thing. I used to get so frustrated, which of course made it all worse.

I think you should have the party on your own. If you want the memories to be personal and for other people to remember it as 'your' party you probably shouldn't let her get involved. Having said that if there are a lot of people there (you have fifty friends? wow!) will she really have the opportunity to steal your limelight? If there are nearly 100 people hangin around you should get a chance to talk to people away from her.

Lastly I don't think your friends idea will work. Lots of people will probably be fashionably late anyway or arrive when they think the most other people will be arriving so thats first two hours won't really be that special. Also if your sister happens to be there she has two hours without HER friends so she can concentrate on suckinh up to YOUR friends. nah, keep it to yourself, I think.

Tough problem- hope it works out.


My boyfriend's penis is very large. I never thought that it would be a problem, but it has created a lot of tension between us. I'm often sore after we have sex, and it's difficult to "get started" because he's so large. He can't put it in all the way either. Is there any way to improve this situation?

I'm assuming you've probably tried getting him to wear a condom, that appparently helps a lot of people with the same unfortunate dificulties.

basically I'm saying lube, especially if its difficult to 'get started.' Buy some and see if that takes that part of the problem away. It should also prevent you getting as sore after sex.

As for the rest of it, there is in fact a sex toy you can buy for men with this particular that sits around the base of the penis and prevents deep penetration that might hurt the woman. This seems a little drastic to me though, try using a lot of lube from early on. if the problem remains your boyfriend may just have to be extra gentle with you.


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