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Me. =\
Okay, not guy trouble this time. Everyone thinks I'm this happy never said goody miss two shoes girl. but the truth is I smile and laugh a lot because on the inside I feel like crying, I rarely eat. I've tried to cut a few times but then felt ten times worse. I have hardly any friends, and all my mom does is scream her head off at me and then act perfect in front of other people, sometimes I just want to crawl into a ball and die, I know I won't but sometimes it is just so hard. Every weekend I sit home and do nothing. When i get home from school i sleep or read. People will talk about parties or plans in front of my face. like last Thursday we were dissecting a crayfish and one of my "friends" begged me to work with them then in science she totally blew me off for this popular kid and made up this lame excuse. And people around are so fake they say i'm their frined then the next minute ignore me or miss popular. i hate it!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm not sure if this is what you want to hear or not, but there really isn't a fix-all answer to any of these problems.
It sounds really patronising to say 'it's because you're a teenager' but hear me out. This part of your life can be particularly trying because you have the worst balance of needs and self-responsibility. You want to be independent, but you have to live with your parents. You want to choose your own friends but are forced to fit in by the school system. I used to feel so frustrated that people were expecting more of me but seemingly not giving much in return.
Truth is, you grow out of it. Again it sounds patronising but I don't mean it the way you probably think. Firstly, the older you get the easier it is to start liking your parents again. Your mum is watching you grow up, watching you start to make your own way in the world, which can be scary for a parent. You're starting to question her judgments and test her boundaries, and she's going to react to that, doubtless. It'll all change when you move out, but in the mean time, shouting isn't going to solve anything. Do your best to remain calm when she's yelling at you. I always find that I can use my anger to MAKE myself stay cool, because I can focus on it. Try not to shout back, and pick your battles. Basically- you can't beat you parents at an arguement so dont even try. The only thing to do is back off, wait till they cool down, and try again.
Second, you grow out of school. Hardly any friends? How many do you have? I can honestly count my friends on the fingers of one hand. There was a period when I thought I had lots. (Tellingly it was back in school) I ended up stabbed in the back, hurt, ignored, lied to or ditched by the vast majority. Don't set too much stock on how many friends you have or how popular they are. All the kids with massive friend groups, all the 'popular' ones, in five years they ain't gonna mean shit, and most wont even remember the others. Keep a few good friends close, and you'll be set.
The rest? Well, here's my worst Advicenators answer ever- you just have to get through it. Good days, bad days, you have to treat them all the same. What I will tell you for sure is that if you dwell on it, you will get worse. This is why self harm is a poor defence strategy for coping with depression. Dwell on your problems and they mount up. The only way you can really get past them is to be proactive. List the things that are wrong with your life, just like you did for me. then make another list about how you are going to fix things.
You know who might help? Your mum. If you can find the strength to tell me all this, you should talk to her about it too. Just say to her what you said to me. If she's any kind of mother at all she'll provide way more human comfort than I ever could.
There isn't much more that I can say, other than 'have courage.' Take heart, life sucks, but you can get through and make a good go at it. Hell, I've never met you, but I already have a lot of faith in you.
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