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Problem with my sister
Read below before answering the questions.
1. Is it wrong of me to be upset at my sister?
2. Should I have my sweet sixteen alone or with her? If it's alone I can only invite 50 people. If it's with her I can invite 50 and she can invite 50. I'm planning on having a few crashers too. My parents don't want the party to be big because I had a huge bat mitzvah.
3. A close friend of mine also had an idea...we send out separate invitations and my party starts 2 hours earlier and they end at the same time.
15f. I have an older sister who's currently a senior in high school (only 18 months older than me). When she's around my friends, she commands all the attention away from me and says stuff to embarrass me or just make everyone ignore me. She doesn't try to hurt me on purpose, but she likes the attention. I think it's really unfair. I had a talk with her about it last night because she wants to combine parties for my sweet sixteen and her graduation. She had a sweet sixteen already. For once, I want the spotlight on me. When she's there, I can't get that. If I'm about to hook up with a guy or something, she'll ruin it by taking me away. If she likes my friends she makes them her friends and if she doesn't like them she tries to get me not to be friends with them. I told her all this last night when I was trying to convince her not to be mad at me for wanting my own party and she's like "It's not my fault, but I'll try." She didn't try. Today she told me about how one of my camp friends who PROMISED that he'd always be closer to me because we're close in age IMed her last night and talked to her about something. It was trivial, but it pissed me off. I did this theater thing over the summer and I spent all day with the same people. I've known this particular guy for years. My sister didn't get into this theater program, and she told me how the guy said he considered her a part of the cast. She wondered why I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh because that wasn't funny and it wasn't what I wanted to hear! She met all my camp friends when I had a cast sleepover at my house and as usual, basically stole the attention from me and made the whole cast love her, even becoming closer with the guy I liked than I was. And she doesn't understand why this upsets me because she doesn't have that many friends of her own. But does that give her the right to steal mine?
Please try to answer the above questions. Sorry for ranting. Thanks.
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1. You should be upset at your sister. Shes seeking attention because shes not getting any herself. She should understand that you have your own life and that you want her to not try and take over it.
2. i think you should have it alone. Your sisters friends are older and will prob take over your party. Its YOUR birthday so have fun! you deserve to be in the spotlight once in a while.
3. Partys usually start off a little awkward and hesitant so by the time ur sisters friends arrive you probably would have just started to have fun and she could take that attention away from you.
Its good you tried to talk to your sister but shes obviously not getting it. If you want your own party then have it. Its your bday and your decision. I hope u have a great bday and happy bday =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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Okay, a birthday, from my point of view, should definately have all family members in it. However, the attention should be on the birthday girl and what she wants.
You should let your sister be there but tell her that she shouldn't bring any friends of hers...and just stay in the background with your parents until the birthday song time.
About the attention stealing thing, I feel your pain...every single freaking day. I'm in 9th grade and my sister's a sophomore at UVA. It's basically living hell because 24/7 I'm compared to her with my parents saying "Your sister did this and that, why don't you do this and that?" and my friends gawk at her everytime for her achievements and accomplishment and her talented life. And I'm just sitting there...being silent. There's not much you can do about that situation because your sister just seems to be naturally that way. So when you have your friends over, BEG her to just stay away...maybe lock herself in her room XD Haha, happy birthday!!
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.....why dont you tell your parents to donate the money from your very expensive parties to a charity?
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First question: yes and no. I know that's a rubbish answer. I mean, like you said your sister probably isn't trying to be malicious or spiteful in what she's doing so you can't really get that mad, but I know EXACTLY what you mean by all this. I'm the middle kid in a big family and I had two older brothers of similar ages who did the exact same thing. I used to get so frustrated, which of course made it all worse.
I think you should have the party on your own. If you want the memories to be personal and for other people to remember it as 'your' party you probably shouldn't let her get involved. Having said that if there are a lot of people there (you have fifty friends? wow!) will she really have the opportunity to steal your limelight? If there are nearly 100 people hangin around you should get a chance to talk to people away from her.
Lastly I don't think your friends idea will work. Lots of people will probably be fashionably late anyway or arrive when they think the most other people will be arriving so thats first two hours won't really be that special. Also if your sister happens to be there she has two hours without HER friends so she can concentrate on suckinh up to YOUR friends. nah, keep it to yourself, I think.
Tough problem- hope it works out.
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