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Problems....
Alright, so me and my boyfriend have been into it last night and pretty much all of today. The thing is, I think I really get jealous too easy when he talks to other girls. Heres the thing. It may be long, but I need help. Alright he kinda cheated (what I consider cheating) on me with some girl at his church and I asked him last night if he had talked to her since we had gotten into it about that. He said that last SUnday she asked him a question in front of the sunday school class, and he didnt want to seem like an asshole to everyone, so he just answered her and carried on a conversation. The thing is, I just wanna know if I have a reason to be mad about that. Part of me just wants to think he was just being nice, but then again, why wouldnt he just ignore her or say "why do you care?" I really need help... and I rate 5s! Thanx
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You definately have a reason to be mad. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he really loves you, he wouldn't do that kinda stuff to you. Good luck! Hope I helped!
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On the one hand, you need to be honest with both him and yourself about how you feel. If something like this bugs you, you can't pretend it doesn't. However, I think perhaps you should take a step back and try to look at it more objectively. Your boyfriend is at least being very honest with you, even when he knows that you aren't going to be pleased. That's a good thing, which shows that he respects you. It would have been very easy for him to just shrug it off and say "no, we haven't spoken", but he was honest and explained the circumstances to you. As an objective bystander, it also seems his explantion is reasonable. He's respecting your wishes about not talking to her generally, but when it couldn't be helped was polite but no more than that, and then was honest about what happened to you when you asked.
Talk to your boyfriend honestly about how you feel. If you can be honest with each other, you can agree together how you think it would be reasonable to deal with this girl given the past. Good luck.
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You have to learn to get past his cheating. That is where the trusting him problem is coming in. If you can't honestly believe he won't do it again then the relationship is basically over. You can't spend all your time worrying and looking over your shoulder for him to make a mistake. He can't walk on egg shells and fear your reaction every time he looks or talks to another girl. So,hard as it will be you have to stop bringing the cheating up...and by not trusting you are doing just that. If you just can't get past it then break up and find someone else. :)
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No, don't be mad. Having a girlfriend doesn't mean he should be rude to other girls, or that other girls cease to exist as humans. Talking in a public conversation is not cheating.
Being mad at him will make him feel you are being unreasonable, and will eventually drive him away. Jealousy is an evil beast that will try to drive a wedge into any relationship, and it's up to you to put a leash on that puppy.
I've seen women who have absolutely no reason to believe their husband is cheating, but they are so insecure about themselves that they constantly rag on their men wanting to know where they were every single second, imagining the worst in every situation, and asking if they're seeing another woman, etc...
Imagine the man in this situation. Imagine not doing anything wrong, but the person you love doesn't trust you no matter what you do. Imagine being constantly accused of something you didn't do.
In the situations I have seen, eventually the man either leaves the woman, or he figures if he's in trouble for cheating, he might as well go ahead and do it.
I'm not saying you are like those women, I'm just pointing out where jealousy leads in the long run. No good ever comes from it. Be secure in yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your actions and he is responsible for his, so don't worry so much about his. Worrying won't stop something from happening, and can even MAKE it happen, as mentioned above.
And if he ever does REALLY cheat on you? (which I consider being physically intimate with someone else, like kissing, etc) Be glad to find out now that he's a cheater, so you can dump his sorry butt before you waste any more time on him! ;-)
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Since it would have looked foolish for him not to respond to a direct question from this girl, especially in church, I think you may be overreacting just a bit. He was probably just trying to avoid a potential embarassing situation for him.
Since it seems to me that you do not trust him, you need to work on that or find someone else to be with that you can trust. I know from experience that a relationship with no trust will go nowhere.
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i dont think you should expect him to be rude to her. he is allowed to have friends who are girls, since you probably have friends that are guys, right? no that is NOT okay for him to say "why do you care" that makes him look like a jackass and you dont want people thinking youre going out with a jackass would you ? i wouldnt
hope i helped
<3<3<3 anne givings
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well i think that he was just being friendly, im kinda like you in the fact that i get jealous too easily. i have managed to 'chill out' a bit more now tho lol. but yeah i dont think that you really have anything to worry about. perhaps you should talk to him again and just tell him how you feel about it all. hope i was kinda helpful
~*~Lucee~*~ plz rate me :)
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