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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

OK so I am 15/f and need some advice on how to get my friends to stop bugging me. So i shower with my dad till this day and I see nothing wrong with it nor does he. Its how we bond. Just cuz they dont do it doesnt mean its not normal right? My dad says its cuz they dont have the same bond with their dads as me and him. And they keep telling me stuff i dont need to hear. So my question is how do i get my friends to stop bugging me about showering with my dad

I'm sorry to tell you this but not only is it not right that you are showering with your dad. Your dad could be prosecuted for a number of different things if the proper authorities were to be made aware of this. I'm not sure if you were to be showering with your mother.if the she is alive and living with you, that the law would condone this. If mom is alive and living with you does she condone this practice.

What you and your dad are doing, as benign as you may believe it to be, will be seen as incest. Incest is against the law. There does not have to be intercourse for a charge of incest. If your father touches you while in the shower that can be seen as incest and child molestation. Two very serious charges which carry long prison terms. Your dad would be lucky to hold his great grand children if convicted.

That is just two charges; add to that child endangerment, leading to the delinquency of a minor and what ever other charges a prosecutor can come up with; it is possible your father could spend the rest of his life in prison.

As for your mother: If she is alive and living with you and your dad. If she is knowledgeable and condoning of this practice she too can be prosecuted.

You find this practice acceptable because it has probably gone on since you were a little girl. Society the world over, at least in developed countries, does not find this practice acceptable.

You need not take my word for this or any other amateur advisor. There are experts you can talk to who will advise you on this and what you should do and how to stop this. You can talk to them with total anonymity if you prefer.

The organization I speak if is called RAINN. RAINN stands for; Rape,Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline you can call to talk to volunteers trained to help you and discuss situations just like yours. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call and talk to them

ok so i have my ex best friends and ex boyfriend saying crap about me and spreading it around. im 15 and i feel like people are starting to talk about me behind my back? i dont think my current friends are but i definitely know that my ex best friends are because they keep giving me really bad looks. i dont care what people think about me i never did and never will because i always know the truth but still i dont want this getting out of control because it's starting to a bit. what can i do about it?

The old saying that; "Sticks and stones can break my bones but names hurt" applies here. It is good that you won't let them get to you with their trash talk. Trash talk though is a form of bullying. Bullying is not condoned, especially in school.

If this is happening in school or even after school based on things happening in school; you can report them to the school principal. Bullying has become a nationwide problem one school officials are well aware of and have, through some tragic events, been forced to deal with.

If you don't want to report them, then talk to them. Tell them that their trash talk and rumor mongering doesn't bother you in the least. It simply satisfies their own penile urges and you won't do any thing to satisfy that urge. The word penile in this form has nothing to do with a male member or sexual connotation. Don't tell them that, let them figure it out for themselves.

You go on to say at some point they will cross a line and when they do the price they pay will be heavy. That price could be both in school and in a courtroom. Your advice to them is they go off and find their entertainment someplace else before they ruin there lives.

Some of them will believe what you say and some won't. Those that don't will probably continue to bully and maybe increase there efforts at which time you will have no choice but to advise the principal.

So before you do anything about this, talk to your parents.

lately i havent been eating as much because i want to stay skinny and maybe lose a bit more weight and be more skinny. last time i checked i am about 43 kilos. are there any easy diets that anyone knows about? im half vegetarian and hate vegetables :)

It is hard to be a vegetarian and not like vegetables. Some vegetarians are just none beef eaters but do eat chicken or fish to get the protein they need. Vegans on the other hand are the strictest form of vegetarians who do not eat any flesh.

As to your weight, It is hard to tell just what you should weigh without knowing your age and height. Since you should be at least 14 years old to be on this sight. I would say using the average height for a 14 year old female you are under weight. A good weight for you would be somewhere between 48 to 50 kilos. The best person to ask would be your family doctor who knows you best.

It is actually worse to be under weight than it is to be a little overweight. Your body is designed to survive at all costs. If the body does not get what it needs to survive and does not have reserves to draw upon,it will do what it needs to protect the most important functions. The two most important functions of the body are the heart and brain. The body will start shutting down other vital organs until only the heart and lungs are functioning. By this time a person will generally be on life support.

This is what happens to people with eating disorders such as anorexia. A person must also eat properly taking in the proper balance of nutrients to maintain the bodies electrolyte balance.

In short being under weight and dieting can be dangerous to your health. You can stay slim and still eat properly by following a few simple rules.

First: Find Out what your true weight area should be, by visiting your doctor.

Second: Find a nutritionist who can help you with meal plans that will deliver the proper amount of nutrients and calories you need each day for your lifestyle.

Third: Proper exercise to tone and shape your body.

If you follow these three simple rules you should be able to maintain the slim and healthy body you will be proud of without endangering your health.

Well I'm 23 yr old guy that finally got his first serious job. My dad's best friend helped me out to get involved with their company. But I was transferred to a different state so I packed up and moved.

Now I won't get into big detail, but my Boss's secretary quit all of a sudden so he asked me if I was interested. I ended up taking it and it was a pretty o.k job. Paper work, answering calls, setting up meetings and such, everything was going so well. Until he asked me to take care of some "personal" business.

He had me pick up his 16 yr old daughter from school and take her home then babysit. Their nanny never called or showed up and he was in an important meeting. So I figured, he's a nice a guy why not. When I picked her up she stared at me funny, than sat in the passenger seat. The whole ride to their home was very awkward and silent.

We finally got to her house and she thanked me, then rushed inside. I followed and sat in their living room, wondering if I should just let her do her own thing or if we should watch a movie or play a video game or something. I grew up in a family of 7 and I played with my little bro' all the time.

After awhile she finally came down stares, dressed in ridiculously short shorts and a tight tank top with no bra. I was shocked and disturbed. She smiled and sat next to me and began asking me a lot of random questions about my job with her dad and about myself. I didn't know quite what to do but answer them as I looked away.

She then asked how many women I'd slept with, I didn't answer of course and scooted further away. She scooted closer and asked if I thought she was hot. I felt very awkward and told her I didn't find minors attractive. She then stated that it was "only" a 7 year difference and her father and new step mom are 9 years apart.

She told me to wait down there and ran up stairs, then came back down with a small baggie full of brownish stuff. I've never done drugs so I didn't think it'd be weed. Until she asked if I would smoke with her. I said absolutely not! And told her I'd tell her father once he called but she just laughed and said she'd tell him it was mine and make him believe I was trying to get into her pants. I was appalled by the extremity of her lie.

She then stated that she was in control now and there was nothing I could do about it, then went on to tell me about all the nanny's, housekeepers, and music teacher's she's had that she'd gotten her dad to fire and some arrested. I'm not sure if it's true but I am a bit frighten none the less.

I mean to be put in jail for something you didn't even do?

So later off she had me take her and her two best friends to the mall, I was so relieved since I'd get some time to myself while they were off. But then she told me her nanny follows them everywhere and holds their bags for them. So I did to. It wasn't that bad until her friends started talking about how cool it would be to date an older guy with a car and such. Then my Boss's daughter grabbed my bum and ran off with her friends.

At this point I was just really pissed off of having to put up with all the b.s. I head back to the car with their bags and waited till they called to go home. I decided to look threw their bags and they bought a lot of racy undergarments and clothes. I'm really disturbed at how these kids act.

They finally came back to the car with even more bags of God only knows what, I drove her two friends home and then went back to her home. I was so thankful that there were only two more hours for her father to get home.

I wondered were her step mom was but didn't bother to ask. I sat in the kitchen petting their cat and she goes on to say, "boy you sure like to pet pus*y." I was annoyed by her presence and just told her; If she were my daughter she wouldn't be in those terrible clothes, speaking the way she was and acting the way she was. She just laughed and asked if I was gay. When I didn't respond, she said she'd be happy to do me in the back with, you can only imagine what.

Her dad finally came home and I was so mentally exhausted I didn't even bother to tell him anything and went home. I guess I'm worried of him not believing me and believing his daughters horrible lies.

It's been a week since then and I kept avoiding those "personal" favors of his, but he wants me to look after her tomorrow since she got suspended from school for getting into a fight.

What do I do? Do I tell my boss? How?

Sorry it's so long but I really want to keep my job but have no interest in putting up with his underage daughter's crap.

Supervising his daughter is not in your job description and not what the company is paying you for. If you cannot bring yourself to tell him what a liar and tramp his daughter is becoming then you need to go to HR and tell them what he is asking of you. Which in my view a misuse of company assets which you are an asset of the company.

I find myself thinking in the back of my mind that in someway your boss knows about his daughter but is either unwilling or unknowing in how to handle her behavior. Obviously whatever has caused him to remarry is not sitting well with his daughter and this is her way of rebelling. Still it is not your problem and she is not your responsibility or part of your job description. You have every right to refuse his request.

When you do you either need to be prepared to tell him why or have already been to HR and have them tell him. Better he be disciplined for misuse of company assets,then you being fired or worse because he placed you in an untenable position.

how do you stop watching pornography,sexual urges etc.
if christian, feel free to add any usable bible quotes to memorise to abstain from these things

AGE: 13
GENDER: MALE

Your 13 years old your suppose to have sexual urges and feelings. Your body is changing and you are experiencing different feelings because of new hormones coursing through your body as you go through puberty. This is all natural for boys as well as girls.

Pornography on the other hand is in away an acquired taste. It is only natural that with these new hormones you would be come curious about the opposite sex. Pornography and masturbation to pornography is a safe outlet for these urges. As long as the pornography and any masturbation remains an outlet and not an all encompassing activity to the extent that you do nothing else, there is nothing wrong with this.

You will not be struck blind by looking at pornography, nor will you go blind or grow hair in the palm of your hand for masturbating. In fact a recent survey determined of 95% of us masturbated. This would include 95% of your friends, your parents and their friends. As you grow older you will find that masturbation or to be more correct mutual masturbation and pornography can be included as part of foreplay.

You are a normal 13 year old boy, looking at pornography is normal. When I and others my age were your age we would look to steal one of our fathers Playboy magazines, which were the extent of the available pornography when I was 13. If you want to stop looking at pornography that takes will power alone.

I am a 14 yr old girl going into gr 9 and i have one friend who treats me really badly she went as far as to tells me i was ugly and so was my grad dress.(which she knew i loved) i dont know how much longer i can put up with her abuse (both pyhsical as well as mental) but dont know how a can not be friends with her and still be friends with my other friends, as they will most likly hang out with her.....

Not only is this person a bully she is jealous of you. That's right,jealous.

Bullies pick on people for many reasons. At the top of the list is jealousy. This person is not your friend, she is a member of your group of friends and is jealous of you for many different reasons. It could be that your friends treat you differently than her, your dress is prettier than hers, you are prettier than her. You have developed faster than her. Boys like you better than her. I could continue with the list but I think you get the idea.

Bullies are not your friends and if she is picking on you she is probably picking on someone else in the group. The motto of a bully is divide an conqueror.

If dropping this girl from your friends list, so to speak, causes you to loose some friends. Then those friends weren't good friends to begin with. You will make new friends in high school no matter whether you stay friends with this group or not.

My advise: Tell this girl where to go and how to get there. When you stand up to a bully they generally back down for their power is in their ability to control you. Once they loose that power they move on to another target.

Tell this bully off and enjoy your school year.

I'm 15 Years Old And I Have A Boyfriend Who's 17, He'll Be 18 In December. He Has No Parents Beside His Dad Being In Jail, And His Guardians Being His Grandparents. So If That Helps Any. We Had Unprotected Sex, And Yes Here's Where The Judgement Comes In, Well Anyway I'm 2 Weeks Pregnant, And My Parents Have A Big Issue With Me And My Boyfriend, About A Month Ago (Or Longer) My Parents Made Me Have An Abortion... Hard Time For Me. Yes, I Know What The Hell Am I Doing Having Sex Again. We Seriously Need Advice, Not Lectures. My Dad Has Been Calling Me An Asshole, A Little Bitch, Ugly Things Like That He Acts Like I'm
Not His Child Anymore, Which Doesn't Hurt Me Cause He's Been Telling Me That My Whole Life But It's Reached The Point Where It's Gone Far Enough And I've Had It Already. Also All He Does Is Go And Tell My Mom All This Crap That I'm Saying All That Stuff, And All She Can Do Is Believe Him And When I Try To Go Talk To Her She Never Listens, All She Can Do Is Take His Side Cause She Has No Where To Go, She Has No Family Here In Town Or Close By. She Picks Side To Have A Place To Live. Which I Think Is So Wrong, They've Always Judged My Boyfriend And Have Never Given Him A Chance At All. Especially With A Baby On The Way And Him
Being A Daddy All They Can Think About Is Putting Him In Jail, Suing His Family, Getting Money Out Of It, Or Killing The Baby Inside Me; That Me And Him Want! But No One Wants To Understand That And Is There Anyway Me And Boyfriend Can Get Help And I Can Get Away From My Parents, Or Do Something So I Can Be Happy With Him And Our Baby For Once. Please Give Me Advice That's True And Helpful We Can Use All The Help We Can Get, It Would Be Nice To Know Can We Get Married Or Something Like That; We Honestly Plan To Stay By Each No Matter What, We're Not Trying To Do All These Things For The Wrong Reasons; My Boyfriend Is Honestly Trying All He Can To Get Me A Better Life, A Happier Life It's What I Want More Than Anything, A Happy Life With Him. Please Advice/Help Anything But Lectures. Thank You!

There are a lot of things I could lecture you on but I won't since you asked that we not lecture you. You have asked for legal advise that most if not all of us are not qualified to give. I will give you some suggestions to check with a lawyer which you should be able to do through legal aid.

One thing I do know is your mother can not force you to have an abortion. I'm very surprised one was even performed if the doctors knew it was against your will. Being over 14 years of age you have legal medical privacy for matters such as pregnancy. This means neither mom or dad can have any say in you medical treatment during your pregnancy except in the case of life or death for you.

Now some states consider a pregnant underage women to be emancipated or that she can ask for emancipation. This is where legal advise is needed. Being just 15 years old the courts may not give you emancipation choosing instead to make you a ward of the court. In doing so they could also possibly make your unborn child a ward of the court until you are old enough to properly care for it.

Your boyfriend, when he turns 18, could request custody of the child. He would have to meet standards set by the court to gain custody. His parents could also ask for guardianship until he could take custody.

As for putting your boyfriend in jail; here again it depends on the laws off your state. The fact that you are both minors works in his favor as it takes the steam out of the statutory rape charge. As for suing his family, sure anyone can sue anyone else. The best I think your parents can earn in court award is child support from his parent until your boyfriend is of legal age. Generally that would be 18 years of age. At that point your BF would be legally responsible for any child support the courts would award.

Your home life does not sound all that conducive to a good pregnancy for you or a place for you to raise their grandchild. I suggest you contact legal aid and find out what your legal options actually are.

Are there any painless ways to commit suicide? I have given up on life and pretty much want it to end since nothing seems to go right anymore. If you want some back story then I will be breif. I am 22 and have attempted suicide two times and they were obviously failed attempts. The first time I shot myself in the chest and survived, the second was overdosing but again failed. I have tried changing my life around but to no success. I have no parents to turn to and I have no siblings. My friendlist is zero and well...I think this can only be fate I suppose. Can anyone recommend a simple method?

No one on this site is going to advise you on how to commit suicide. If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 NOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.

Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). If you have not already done so I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.

Please call the hot line I recommended above. If you feel like hurting yourself before you can get to someone that can help you please call 911. Tell the call taker how you are feeling, they will send help. The normal response is to send both Fire Rescue and the Police. Do not be afraid, the call taker will most likely want to stay on the phone with you until help arrives. The police are there to protect you and the others not to harm you or arrest you. The fire rescue people are there to take care of you and to take you to the hospital.

You do not say what is bothering you to cause you to think of suicide. Whatever it is it CAN BE RECTIFIED or mitigated that I am certain of. Please call the hotline or go to the hospital for help. I know there are people who love you and would miss you if you were to do this.

If nothing else please remember this: There are people that love you. Five people who have never met you have taken the time to write to you to convince you that hurting yourself is not the answer and ask you to seek help for whatever is causing you to feel this way. Please call the hotline number I gave you.

So here's what I need help about... There's this girl at my faculty that I've been meaning to ask out for like 6 months. By the way, it would be my first time asking someone out... (lame, I know)! I think I've finally worked up the nerve to do it, but lately I've been reading about the so called "pity date" thing. We're not particularly close as friends and I have no idea if she knows I like her (I think she doesn't). She is VERY nice and kind to everyone without exception and I think it's a virtue... But that's also what worries me. How do I know she won't just go out with me because she's NICE? Maybe I'll take her for a drink (I'm talking apple juice) and she'll just be friendly like she always is... and then I do it a few more times and she just keeps going out with me because she doesn't wanna hurt my feelings...

I mean I don’t want to go out with somebody and be distracted the whole time thinking about why thery’re there!

Oh yes, and we’re both 20, for what it’s worth.

Any advice appreciated.

You know you will never know until you try. When you do don't worry about the why just enjoy the when and the where. Plan a really good date maybe a reasonable dinner and a movie, or if you know her well enough something she enjoys.

At the end of the date asked her if you can call her. If she says yes that means she had a good time. It also means it doesn't really matter why she went out with you she is willing to have a second date and that is what counts.

Hello I'm 13.I was in Canada for the whole month of July becuase my grandmother died. I had to stay with my older cousin and fianse.
Well the night when my family found out my grandma died, my cousin went to bed really early.My cousin's fianse invited his friend over.The bad
stuff started to happen when I was watching TV.They sat down next to me and my cousin's fianse asked do you like me?I said yes. I thought my cousin and him were perfect for eachother.His friend moved closer to me,I started to feel uneasy.Then the next thing I know his friend starts touching me.I got scared so.I say i'm going to bed so I go upstairs and after I finished brushing my teeth I go to my room and I find them in there.I tell them to leave and his friend says aw the fun hasn't started yet.I say leave.Then his friend says SHUTUP B***** WE LEAVE WHEN WE WANT TO LEAVE.His friend pushed me on my bed and he goes on top of me.At that point I was really scared.He literly ripped off my shirt then he took off my pants.I was ready to scream when my cousin's fianse puts his hand over my mouth.Then that night I was forced to have oral, anal, and viginal sex with both of them after they were done his friend punched me in the stomach and said if I ever told anyone he would kill me.That night I cried myself to sleep.The next morning I couldn't even look at my cousin's fianse.He kept telling me he was sorry but I don't forgive him.I want to call the police,but i'm to scared.What am I supposed to do?

Sweetheart you were RAPED for which I am very sorry this happened to you. You need to report this to the police and your parents. Your cousins fiance is a co-conspirator and just as guilty by helping his friend and not trying to stop him.

I would also like you to contact an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline to help girls like you. The number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

The volunteers who man the phones are trained to help you and to help you find people in your own community who can help you. You can't pretend the Rape didn't happen. What you can do is learn how to properly deal with this and move on with your life and not have this ruin the rest of your life.

The people who RAINN connects you with will be with you every step of the way in reporting this to the police. I'm also sure that the people who answer the phone can help you tell your parents if need be.

Please call RAINN. Don't let this ruin your life. Don't let your cousin marry a Rapist. Most of all by reporting this you will save another young girl from being raped.

I 14 and about to turn 15 in a few months.My boyfriend comes over alot, and him and my mom have talk and alll that. But whenever he comes over we have to sit in the living room. But some times i want us to a little privacy.I havent said antthing to my mom about. Do you think we should be able to have privacy?

Your 14 and he's 15 and what you really want is some alone time to make out. What is the rush to grow up. You have plenty of time for make out sessions and sex. The world is not coming to an end in 2012.

I've got news for you; what Zane said about living in mom's house and living by her rules remains in effect if you are 14, 18 or 21. There is a double standard for children. Girls will always be treated differently then boys. Fathers will always think of their daughters as their little girl and will never get use to the idea that some guy will some day be invading their daughters body through sex, even after marriage. That is just the way things are and something you will have to learn to live with until you leave home.

Even after moving out of your parents home you can expect to be questioned on your choice of roommates if you are not married. Then and only then can you say; my home my rules. Until then it is mom's house, mom's rules.

Short answer to your question: No your to young to be left alone with a boy.

I used to be so happy...what can I do for immediate relief? No drugs or booze...

You have taken the first and hardest step by asking for help. The next steps get easier.

You do not say how old you are. If you are old enough to see a doctor on your own then make an appointment to see your family doctor. If you are to young, under 14, the ask mom or dad to make an appointment for you.

You need to ask you family doctor to screen you for depression. There are a number of reasons for depression especially in teenagers, now referred to as teenage depression. In years past what is now diagnosed as teenage depression was called a phase, something a teenager would grow out of. For the most part they did but with many problems. Today we know teenage depression is also linked with hormonal imbalances brought on by puberty and doctors can easily deal with this.

There are also some physical reasons that could be the cause of a person becoming depressed. A complete physical check-up should reveal any physical reason for your depression.

The next step after recognizing you have a problem and asking for help is getting some help. That next step is seeing your family doctor and explaining how you feel. Ask to be screened for depression, then follow the doctors advise and instructions.

I have a really close friend who I've known for two years. Shes like a sister to me. I'm involved in a lot of the same activities as her, and we have a ton in common. Shes adorable, one of the funniest people I know, and just generally seems to be happily enjoying life.
About a year ago, she started cutting herself. I didn't know about it till she started cutting her legs. I confronted her about it one night and she broke down and told me. She thinks the world is so horrible and corrupt and that life has no meaning, and that shes an awful, disgusting person who would be better off dead.
Her cuts are riduculously bad. She doesn't just cut her wrists. She has huge cuts on her legs (giant scabs)and long cuts around her thighs. She also carved die into her thigh. She has 25 or so cuts on her stomach. Her wrists are cut to the point where they're starting to look like big scabs. She has big scabs on her hands from cutting pieces of skin off. She has huge slits on both of her shoulders too. She uses this gigantic butcher knife.
Her parents found out, along with her band instructor and pretty much everyone shes friends with. Her parents haven't done a thing about it all except sit there and cry about it. Shes starting to talk to me about suicide. I've been trying to convince her to not do it, but I don't think I'm gettting anywhere.
She needs some sort of other help, and fast. I don't wanna see this beautiful, talented girl who I love more than my own siblings end it.

What do I do?

In the U.S. in most areas school has already started or about to start this week. You could start by informing school authorities such as the school principal. I'm surprised her band instructor did not take a more active role when he/she found out.

If the school principal does not take a more active role such as reporting her problem to social services then ask your parents to contact the police. Make sure you tell your principal that her parents are aware of her cutting.

If her parents are aware of her cutting and do nothing about this other than wring there hands over this; then they are in a sense committing child abuse. Every school system has a policy for handling child abuse. Informing your school principal or a trusted teacher should kick that policy into action.

I must add that I am very proud of you for watching out for your friend. She has a serious problem, one that would send most friends running away from her. Be aware that your trying to get help for her may at first cause her to be angry with you. Better she be angry than dead. With the right kind of help she will get over her anger and you two will be friends again. A friendship that should last a lifetime. Hopefully a very long lifetime for both of you.

There's this guy I met about a month ago at summer band camp. We started hanging out and he constantly flirts with me. I thought he might like me, but I found out that he acts like that with every other girl he knows. He got my number from somebody and started texting me. Earlier, he asked me if I like him. I don't know what to do. I kinda do like him, but sometimes I don't feel like he is serious enough for me to consider anything. I'm also afraid to answer because its questions like that have ruined previous friendships of mine with other guys. Plus, I don't even know if he does like me or just asked because he thinks that I like him. What should I do?

Actually I think you do know. In a sense your gut and your heart are having a tug of war. Your gut is telling you that you do not need to get romantically involved with someone who is a player, your words, while you heart is telling you to go ahead. Your common senses is also telling you that this is not someone you want to know any better than a summer friendship.

You know what the right thing to so is, you just need someone to agree with you. TO help you turn the tied against the stronger force within you telling you to override your better senses.

When all else fails, common sense and other instincts, trust your gut instincts as the gut instincts are almost never wrong. Keep this guy as a summer friend if you want too, but also keep him at arms length. Someone who is a player is only going to hurt you in the end.

I'm 11 and i'm going to 7th grade.A lot of things are changing in my school.Well last year my teacher was really innapropriate.During class he would stand next to my desk while he was teaching.He was always talking to me when he is not teaching the class.When he started teaching sex ed he would stare at me the whole time.The problem is he is now my 7th grade classes computer teacher what do I do?I start school in 3 days please help

You need to talk to your parents about him. He has not yet crossed the line to legal inappropriateness but he is close. He does make you uncomfortable and that does effect your ability to be successful in his class. You have a valid reason to ask to be changed to another class with a different teacher.

To ask for this and would be reacted on better by the school administration if your parents were to make the request. I'm not going to say your teacher has done anything truly wrong here in what you are saying. He may not have crossed the legal boundaries but he most certainly has crossed the moral one. For something like this the school administration will act faster if your parents are involved.

You have nothing to be ashamed of here and nothing wrong to have caused what you feel is happening. You have no reason to hide this from your parent and every reason to tell them what is going on. In fact you should have told them last year.

The primary role of us as parents is to protect our children. We can't do that if you do not come to us with problems such as this one which does require us to take action to protect you. Do not wait until school starts to see if the problems of last year begin again. Tell your parents now so on Tuesday they can go to school with you and get this problem corrected. You have every right to attend school without fear from other students or teachers for any reason, let your parents do what is their responsibility to do for you.

Hi I, am 32 years old and had Anal sex for the first time. I am very concerned about geting an STD. I have been with the same man for the past 7 years; what should I do?

If you have been in a monogamous relationship for 7 years you would not get an STD from having Anal sex with this man. Getting a STD check is always a good thing in any case, something the both of you should have gotten when you first started sleeping together.

If you would not find it embarrassing to ask your family doctor, and you should not find it embarrassing. Your family doctor or GYN could provide the testing for you. Otherwise look up any of the planned parenthood clinics in your area, or women's health clinics.

my friend who is 18 has sex with her 20 year old brother .She told me she instigated it .should i tell her mum

Two consenting adults had sex. Yes they are related and that makes it incest. Telling there mother will do nothing except make you feel better; maybe. Fact is you do not know the whole picture of your friends family dynamic. There is a large sub-culture within western society that believes in incestuous relations. This could be truly a case of what you don't know won't hurt you.

My advice forget she ever told you this. Do not bring it up in conversation with her. If she brings it up again you can voice your concerns over how wrong you feel it is and leave it at that.

How long should a person wait to have sex with someone?

You have asked a very personal question. What is right for me or someone else may or may not be right for you.

Back in the day, as we say down the fire station, it was felt that three dates was the minimum one should wait to make any advances which would include making out, referred to as first base. There was of course the exception to the rule with the sexually available one night stands you could pick up at a local bar.

My advice is never on a first date. From then on if it feels right then follow your feelings. I will also add that since you have not given your age you should be old enough to be having sex. Old enough meaning you are fully aware of what you are doing, understand the consequences of sexual relations and can take the proper precautions.

My teacher is 27 and Im 17 and he always asks me do I like him if I'm alone with him. I do have a crush on him, but I never tried to do anything with him and I never will. Sometimes I blush when hes around but that's it.If I go to the restroom and Im tardy to class, he will take me to class and he acts weird, he asks weird questions, like he asked me did I love him in front of our class. He will get really close to me and ask me do I love him and if I say no he just says that he loves me. I cant tell if hes serious sometimes or if hes just playing. Sometimes he makes me go in the hall so he can talk to me about nothing that's important. He calls me his girlfriend in front of teachers and students and they just laugh at him because they think hes joking. I don't know if hes playing or what. He'll be in class teaching and put his arm around me. I don't think he'll try to do anything but sometimes he gets close to me and its really uncomfortable, even when I back away. He just stares and smiles at me a lot. Or he'll walk over to my desk and stand there for a while. I'm a pretty strait forward person, so after a while I turn around and ask him what he wants. He'll ask if I need help or something. One time he looked up my schedule and took me out of PE class because I was mad at him and someone told him that I didnt like him, he took me out of class just to ask me if I didnt like him and he looked seriously hurt.
Maybe I'm just overreacting but I just wanted to know what somebody else's opinion was about the situation. Sometimes I just can't tell if hes joking because he knows I have a crush on him or if hes being serious. Please answer, thanks

Your teacher is being inappropriate with you and towards you. This is not the type of behavior any school system will tolerate. He needs to be reported to the school authorities and the police.
But not by you, by your parents.

You need to tell your parents. The first thing I would do if I was your father is call the police and make a police report. Then follow the instructions of the investigators.

If this teacher is not immediately suspended from teaching I would demand you be transferred to another class. I would also request that an order of protection be placed against him requiring he stay away from you and your home while the investigation continues through any trial.

Whatever the laws he is violating is also violating his role as a teacher. He is definitely harassing you sexually from what you have written. You need to make your parents aware of this and let them handle it.

Inappropriate contact between a teacher and student is a serious charge. It is my feeling that administrators will be more inclined to take the appropriate action if your parents and police make the complaint.

I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend will be 19 years old next month. We have been together since last summer and never had problems with sex before. He has always been able to cum with 15 minutes, but all of a sudden in the past few weeks, he can't seem to finish at all. e. At first he feels like he can, but then for some reason he just loses it. I'm not sure why? He says he doesn't know why it keeps happening, that he's just tired. Granted, he does work 95 hours a week but I doubt that has anything to do with our sex life. What could be the cause of this sudden problem? I feel like it's somehow my fault. Actually, his entire sex drive seems off. He's an 18 years old guy, shouldn't he be jumping at the chance to have sex? He just never seems to be in the mood anymore and it actually kind of hurts my feelings.

You have a boyfriend who is working 95 hours a week and your concerned he is too pooped to pop. I'll address that further down.

First, a nineteen year old working that many hours a week either has excellent work ethics or for some reason is desperate need for money. Realize that in a 7 day period there are 168 hours. If you BF sleeps 8 hours a day, which is 56 hrs, this leaves 12 hours to commute between jobs and to be with you. Your boyfriend probably sleeps less than 8 hours more like 6 hrs a day if he is lucky, which is 42 hrs, leaving 26 hrs for commuting, eating, showering , making love to you and other things he may need or want to do.

Now that I have put this into some prospective for you; can you possibly see why your boyfriend may be too pooped to pop. Yes he is young and he may be able to stand this type of working hours for a while. Eventually these working hours will take a toll on his health, it always does. It may already be starting to show in his sex life with you. You might try to convince him to have a physical check up before he has a total collapse.

Instead of complaining and thinking he is lying or you are not sexy enough for him; why not try to help him? You might want to ask him why he needs to work so many hours. Then help him find ways to achieve the reason with out ruining his health in the process.

The simple answer to your question is: Your boyfriend is working to hard. He needs to slow down and rest before he does himself serious physical harm. You should be trying to help him rather than worry about his lack of a sex drive and your hurt feelings. Your feelings can recover. His sex drive should recover if he slows down and rests.

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