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Framed and sexually harassed by my Boss's daughter?
Well I'm 23 yr old guy that finally got his first serious job. My dad's best friend helped me out to get involved with their company. But I was transferred to a different state so I packed up and moved.
Now I won't get into big detail, but my Boss's secretary quit all of a sudden so he asked me if I was interested. I ended up taking it and it was a pretty o.k job. Paper work, answering calls, setting up meetings and such, everything was going so well. Until he asked me to take care of some "personal" business.
He had me pick up his 16 yr old daughter from school and take her home then babysit. Their nanny never called or showed up and he was in an important meeting. So I figured, he's a nice a guy why not. When I picked her up she stared at me funny, than sat in the passenger seat. The whole ride to their home was very awkward and silent.
We finally got to her house and she thanked me, then rushed inside. I followed and sat in their living room, wondering if I should just let her do her own thing or if we should watch a movie or play a video game or something. I grew up in a family of 7 and I played with my little bro' all the time.
After awhile she finally came down stares, dressed in ridiculously short shorts and a tight tank top with no bra. I was shocked and disturbed. She smiled and sat next to me and began asking me a lot of random questions about my job with her dad and about myself. I didn't know quite what to do but answer them as I looked away.
She then asked how many women I'd slept with, I didn't answer of course and scooted further away. She scooted closer and asked if I thought she was hot. I felt very awkward and told her I didn't find minors attractive. She then stated that it was "only" a 7 year difference and her father and new step mom are 9 years apart.
She told me to wait down there and ran up stairs, then came back down with a small baggie full of brownish stuff. I've never done drugs so I didn't think it'd be weed. Until she asked if I would smoke with her. I said absolutely not! And told her I'd tell her father once he called but she just laughed and said she'd tell him it was mine and make him believe I was trying to get into her pants. I was appalled by the extremity of her lie.
She then stated that she was in control now and there was nothing I could do about it, then went on to tell me about all the nanny's, housekeepers, and music teacher's she's had that she'd gotten her dad to fire and some arrested. I'm not sure if it's true but I am a bit frighten none the less.
I mean to be put in jail for something you didn't even do?
So later off she had me take her and her two best friends to the mall, I was so relieved since I'd get some time to myself while they were off. But then she told me her nanny follows them everywhere and holds their bags for them. So I did to. It wasn't that bad until her friends started talking about how cool it would be to date an older guy with a car and such. Then my Boss's daughter grabbed my bum and ran off with her friends.
At this point I was just really pissed off of having to put up with all the b.s. I head back to the car with their bags and waited till they called to go home. I decided to look threw their bags and they bought a lot of racy undergarments and clothes. I'm really disturbed at how these kids act.
They finally came back to the car with even more bags of God only knows what, I drove her two friends home and then went back to her home. I was so thankful that there were only two more hours for her father to get home.
I wondered were her step mom was but didn't bother to ask. I sat in the kitchen petting their cat and she goes on to say, "boy you sure like to pet pus*y." I was annoyed by her presence and just told her; If she were my daughter she wouldn't be in those terrible clothes, speaking the way she was and acting the way she was. She just laughed and asked if I was gay. When I didn't respond, she said she'd be happy to do me in the back with, you can only imagine what.
Her dad finally came home and I was so mentally exhausted I didn't even bother to tell him anything and went home. I guess I'm worried of him not believing me and believing his daughters horrible lies.
It's been a week since then and I kept avoiding those "personal" favors of his, but he wants me to look after her tomorrow since she got suspended from school for getting into a fight.
What do I do? Do I tell my boss? How?
Sorry it's so long but I really want to keep my job but have no interest in putting up with his underage daughter's crap.
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You should have told your boss the second things started to get weird, and you were uncomfortable. You should immediately tell him that watching her makes you uncomfortable and why.
I find it super strange that she's apparently gotten other nannies in trouble and jailed for her behavior, yet her father will allow a young male to watch her? Lapse in parenting, I'd say.
I like the post below me about the recording device. It IS illegal to tape someone against their will, but you should still do it. Maybe you SHOULD watch her and tape everything she says to you, so that when you go to your boss and tell him, he'll had no reason NOT to believe you, and therefor wouldn't file any legal charges because his daughter wouldn't have a case.
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You MUST protect yourself. False accusation ruins many lives, and for women like this it is both a power trip and a sport. They get off on seeing how much damage they can inflict and keep score, as she demonstrated, of how many lives they have harmed.
You will not be reasoning with her, so my suggestion is not to try. Spend a little time reading about sociopathic behaviours, and you will quickly find you are in WAY over your head.
I suggest you purchase a voice recorder, and carry it with you everywhere.
Sony makes a very fine entry-level recorder which is for sale just about anywhere, including walmart.
It is under $50 the last time I looked, and it is a very good quality unit. Here is a link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
... Four rules:
1) NOBODY knows you have this. Nobody.
2) Do NOT use it unless you are going to be around the daughter. If your boss finds out you have been recording things at work, you will be out in a hot minute.
3) You may be in legal jeopardy (I am NOT a lawyer, check with one to be sure of where you stand) recording her without her knowledge...
... but, for the purposes of your life, it doesn't matter. Would you rather do some time for recording the person who makes a false accusation, or would you rather be labeled a rapist and a child predator for life?
Easy choice.
Finally rule number 4:
NOBODY KNOWS YOU HAVE THIS DEVICE. Let me put it another way: DO NOT TELL ANYONE.
If you break rules 1 or 4, you are making a very big error.
Ok, having said all that, I would do whatever you can to avoid being around her, but if you are forced into the situation, don't spend one second with her that isn't on tape, so to speak.
Oh, rule 5:
Please see rules 1 and 4.
When she tells you that she is going to have you arrested if you don't do what she wants... and you have it recorded, do NOT, as tempting as it will be, rip the recorder out, show it to her and skip around the room singing about how you finally have your life back!
It will be tempting, but don't do it.
Lastly, I would advise that you reveal this to her dad O-N-L-Y when push comes to shove, or when she accuses yet another innocent victim you hear about.
Hold this evidence like your life depended on it, because it does.
Oh, and the included software for that device is very handy.
When you extract each batch of recordings, put them on your HD, a flash drive you keep for just such a purpose, and a cd/dvd. Put 2 of these three is a safe deposit box.
Good luck, and remember: You are FAR from the first person this has happened to.
Here are some links I hope you never need to rely on:
Truth in Justice:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The "A" Team:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Supervising his daughter is not in your job description and not what the company is paying you for. If you cannot bring yourself to tell him what a liar and tramp his daughter is becoming then you need to go to HR and tell them what he is asking of you. Which in my view a misuse of company assets which you are an asset of the company.
I find myself thinking in the back of my mind that in someway your boss knows about his daughter but is either unwilling or unknowing in how to handle her behavior. Obviously whatever has caused him to remarry is not sitting well with his daughter and this is her way of rebelling. Still it is not your problem and she is not your responsibility or part of your job description. You have every right to refuse his request.
When you do you either need to be prepared to tell him why or have already been to HR and have them tell him. Better he be disciplined for misuse of company assets,then you being fired or worse because he placed you in an untenable position.
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Tell your boss you WILL NOT be supervising his daughter anymore.
Then tell him why.
Tell him you are sorry but you will not be able to supervise his daughter again, because her behaviour made you very uncomfortable and it is not acceptable for you to be put in that situation as part of your work day.
And he might fire you. Hopefully, he’ll realize that if he fires you, you could take it up the food chain to his boss, or to HR, or to a court, and pin him pretty hard for wrongful dismissal or workplace harassment. Somehow I don’t think it’s in your job description to watch his kid, and unless he owns the company, I doubt they would be happy to find that they are footing the bill for his childcare. More importantly - no one should be sexually harassed as part of their job, and you most certainly were.
If you have an HR department at work, you mighyt trying speaking to them first, but in the end, just be honest and firm in your refusal. You are justified to refuse to supervise this girl. And if you get fired, at least you’ll get fired for being a stand up honest guy, and you’ll be free of a monstrous little brat and her idiot father.
Better to be unemployed then on a sex offenders registry. So whatever you do, do NOT allow yourself to be alone with her agian.
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fess up
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This is a really messed up situation.
It sounds like this girl does not have authoritative or hands on parents in her life, and has just gone wild. Should this be your problem? No.
The simplest way to avoid this is to refuse the personal errands. I would just tell your boss that as much as you want to help him out, you are here to work for the company, and you don't like acting as a nanny. Tell him the role makes you uncomfortable. Ask him not to take it personally.
If he asks more questions, it may be best to fess up. Ask why so many nannies quit or were fired. Mentioned the things she said to you and that she was in possession of drugs and lingerie (at least then he can look for the physical proof). You want to be completely honest, and not look like you are hiding something, because that will make him assume you were taking advantage of his daughter.
I would just cross my fingers and hope it works. It sounds like a dysfunctional family problem you shouldn't have to deal with.
Best of luck to you,
-Abby
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