Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice

Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics


Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)


Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Contact Us

how to control sexual urges

Question Posted Monday September 5 2011, 7:30 pm

how do you stop watching pornography,sexual urges etc.
if christian, feel free to add any usable bible quotes to memorise to abstain from these things

AGE: 13

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?

Maxximiliann answered Friday March 23 2012, 2:07 pm:
"If anyone thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virginity, if that is past the bloom of youth, [...] Let them marry." - 1 Corinthians 7: 36

Ideally, the simplest solution is to marry someone who has the same intense and zealous faith in God you have. (God instructs us not to be unevenly 'yoked with an unbeliever' and to marry "only in the Lord". (2 Corinthians 7: 14-18) "[W]hat portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever?", he asks. (1 Corinthians 7:39) It is clear. He does not look favorably upon disloyal ones who marry a person who does not have true faith in Him.)

But, seeing as how you're perhaps not yet "past the bloom of youth" this really isn't an option for you right now. :D So what do you do in the meantime?

First off, keep things in perspective. Having sexual feelings is completely normal. They are not an indication of a lack of faith or a weak relationship with God so there's no need to recriminate yourself for having them. You can no more control your sexual urges than you can feelings of hunger or thirst.

Your natural sexual impulses are nothing more than a gift from your Creator intended for you to enjoy exclusively with your spouse within the bounds of a loving marriage. What you can control, however, is how you behave. Because you were created with Free Will, you ALWAYS have complete control over what you decide to do at any time (assuming, of course, you're not contending with a mental illness).

With that said, here are some scriptural principles that can be helpful to you:

"Flee from fornication." (1 Corinthians 6:18) Fornication, if you recall, comes from the Greek 'porneia' and is defined as "illicit sexual intercourse". This includes adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals (bestiality), sexual intercourse with close relatives or sexual intercourse with an illicitly divorced man or woman. Because the counsel here is to "flee from fornication" it's obvious that you should avoid compromising situations, sexually stimulating materials of all kinds and even sexually charged conversations. "Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort [...] not even be mentioned among YOU" we're admonished in Ephesians 5: 3-4, "just as it befits holy people; neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming [...]." The warning is clear. Steer clear of anything, ANYTHING that can inflame your sexual passions.

This also means that you need to avoid masturbation and other forms of sexual gratification. While many will tell you that there's nothing wrong with gratifying yourself, what they fail to mention is that those who habitually view pornographic material and then masturbate end up suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Make no mistake, developing an obsessive-compulsive disorder will wreak havoc on your life for many, many years.

Don't misunderstand now. I'm not advising you to repress your sexual feelings. As I mentioned earlier, your sexual impulses are a natural biological function that were not designed to be "turned off". Trying to repress them is an exercise in futility and will only leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated and feeling very, very guilty. This is something you need to be wary of because persistent feelings of guilt can trigger clinical Depression and that's not what God wants for you.
In time, though, the intensity of your sexual impulses should subside. That too is a natural function of your design as you mature.

So, what can you do on those rare occasions when your sexual impulses surge to overwhelm you? It's simple. Distract yourself. It won't be easy at first but the more you practice, the easier it will become because your urges will be less intense each time.

Now, consider the following: "[B]ecome steadfast, unmovable, always having plenty to do in the work of the Lord []." (1 Corinthians 15:58) What work is this passage referring to? Well, shortly after his resurrection, Jesus met with his disciples and gave them the following task, "Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded YOU." (Matthew 28: 19, 20) And that they did.

The responsibility these faithful ones received extends even to our day. But, you can't teach others what you don't know, right? So, before you can become a teacher, you first have to be a student. Have you read the Bible in its entirety, from beginning to end? If not, why not set aside 5 minutes each day to do so? Making a habit out of reading from the Bible daily will teach you amazing things about God you've never known before and you'll be much too busy to be bothered by intrusive thoughts.

Remember too that heartfelt prayer is a ready resource for all looking to please God and lead happy, fulfilled lives. "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me" Paul was inspired to write. (Phillipians 4:13)

Ultimately, God "is not far off from each one of us". (Acts 17:27) If you make every effort to learn about and love him "with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind", he will stay by your side, "[f]or, as regards Jehovah, his eyes are roving about through all the earth to show his strength in behalf of those whose heart is complete toward him." (Matthew 22: 36-38; 2 Chronicles 16:9)

Additional Resources -- [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) , [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) , [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) , [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

[ Maxximiliann's advice column | Ask Maxximiliann A Question

Matt answered Wednesday September 7 2011, 2:38 pm:
Usable Bible quotes? Isn't that an oxymoron? KIDDING

Chillax bro, I don't know any guys that don't watch porn. Just make sure you still go outside and hang out with your friends and don't spend all your time doing it.

[ Matt's advice column | Ask Matt A Question

gibs96 answered Tuesday September 6 2011, 4:39 pm:
you can't really stop sexual urges...everyone gets them. However with pornography it's just mind over matter. You just have to stop. Tell yourself you don't need it. And honestly pornography is so disgusting, and WRONG. sex is a sacred thing that shouldn't be put all over the internet.

[ gibs96's advice column | Ask gibs96 A Question

adviceman49 answered Tuesday September 6 2011, 10:59 am:
Your 13 years old your suppose to have sexual urges and feelings. Your body is changing and you are experiencing different feelings because of new hormones coursing through your body as you go through puberty. This is all natural for boys as well as girls.

Pornography on the other hand is in away an acquired taste. It is only natural that with these new hormones you would be come curious about the opposite sex. Pornography and masturbation to pornography is a safe outlet for these urges. As long as the pornography and any masturbation remains an outlet and not an all encompassing activity to the extent that you do nothing else, there is nothing wrong with this.

You will not be struck blind by looking at pornography, nor will you go blind or grow hair in the palm of your hand for masturbating. In fact a recent survey determined of 95% of us masturbated. This would include 95% of your friends, your parents and their friends. As you grow older you will find that masturbation or to be more correct mutual masturbation and pornography can be included as part of foreplay.

You are a normal 13 year old boy, looking at pornography is normal. When I and others my age were your age we would look to steal one of our fathers Playboy magazines, which were the extent of the available pornography when I was 13. If you want to stop looking at pornography that takes will power alone.

[ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question

innocent_angel answered Tuesday September 6 2011, 8:31 am:
Sexual urges won't really stop, there a part of our biology that says reproduce to keep the species alive, don't act on them though unless you want to. To not watch porn self control is the key just distract yourself but I would say there is nothing wrong with it personally, it's human and a lot of men and women enjoy watching porn and pleasuring themselves.

Still if you don't want to and feel wrong for doing it, then just remind yourself how you feel afterwards when you get the urge and maybe go for a walk (or cold shower) lol. goodluck :)

[ innocent_angel's advice column | Ask innocent_angel A Question

dottie4 answered Monday September 5 2011, 10:19 pm:
Bate. ;)

[ dottie4's advice column | Ask dottie4 A Question

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Framed and sexually harassed by my Boss's daughter?
Next Question >>> tacos

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

ok i really need help?
No connection
I have not given my older
Scared to report CP
self -control. patient. Discipline
school's player
How long after a perm til
Dating and virginity
Ignoring me... should I ask why?
I hate humans
Acne... blackheads... large pimples cures
Would I be arrested if I tried to set up payment plan for traffic tickets?
school's player
Boyfriend can't get over my dating past and wants me to let him have sex
School's play
Ways to get over someone?
Teenage Attraction Issues????
Bump on my fingernail
Poppying Cherry.
Question in my inbox disappeared

All content on this page posted by members of is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker